Authors: Harper Bentley
“What happened?”
he asks after we get in his car.
“Take me to my car at El’s, would ya?” I ask then continue. “At camp, he
was all over the local girls, fucking them, snorting shit up his nose. Then tried telling El I was the one doing it.”
He looks over at me. “
That’s fucked up. She believe him?”
“There for a while she did, but she finally clued in.”
“Good.”
“Yeah. Thought we were gonna be back to square one again. Thank God that didn’t happen this time,” I say with a sigh.
“Yeah,” he agrees and looks at me again. “You’ve got a shiner coming up, man. What was the damage to him?”
“Right side of his face should be
pretty messed up. Ribs should be sore in the morning. Really don’t give a shit. Just want him out of her life.”
“This should do it.” He laughs.
“I hope.”
We arrive at El’s apartment and her car’s still there
, which makes me frown. “Told her to go to my place.”
“She wouldn’t take the key from me. Said she’d talk to you when you got back,” he informs me.
“Okay. Thanks, man,” I say, patting Ross on the shoulder before I get out of his car.
He rolls his window down as I walk to El’s door. “Forgot. Hoffman said to call him in the morning.”
I turn and nod then he drives off and I walk up and knock on El’s door. When she answers, upon seeing me she starts crying again. “Jag, your eye!” she says through her tears.
I come inside and wrap my arms around her, hol
ding her close. “Hey, it’s okay, babe.”
She
buries her face against my chest, wrapping her arms around my waist. “I’m a dumbass,” she sobs.
My body shakes with my laughing. “Babe.”
She pulls back and looks at me then starts crying harder. “I-I am, J-Jag. I’m th-the dum-dumbest person ev-ever.”
I pull her back against me. “No, you’re not. That title goes to me.” I kiss the top of her head. “I’ve finally figured it all out. Finally get what you’ve been trying to tell me.
I’m the dumbass here. I’m so sorry, El.”
She cries in my arms for
a minute more, then stops for a second and says, “Wh-what?” She pulls back and looks up at me. “What did you say?”
I shake my head as I say to her, “I thought I understood what you needed from me. Now I get it.
I really get it.” She looks at me a little skeptically, which I can’t blame her for doing. We’ve been down this road before. I hold her face in my hands so I can look her in the eyes, wiping her tears away with my thumbs and admit what a fool I’ve been. “I’m an idiot. I wasn’t there for you. I should’ve been the one protecting you, not the one adding to all of it. God, everything with Alessandra and Dirk? How can you ever forgive me? I failed you.”
She lets out a sob and it’s heartbreaking. Jesus. All I’ve put her through. I don’
t know how she’s even letting me breathe the same damned air she does.
I continue.
“When the commercials started, when I found out what they really were, how much the first one hurt you, I should’ve ended it there. But I was so into my fucking self. Into my career. Thought I had to do the stupid things to prove something, show you they were nothing. I could do them and we’d be okay.”
The look of hurt on her face kills.
I keep going. “Then there was Dirk. God, El, why I couldn’t see it, the shit he was doing, baffles me. When he said you couldn’t go to that fucking party, set things up to look like Alessandra and I were together, I should’ve walked away, but I bought into all the bullshit, and there’s nothing I can say now to make it better. I’ve ruined everything. I’m so sorry, baby.”
I lea
n down and press my lips to her forehead, holding them there. We stay that way for several seconds before she pulls back, looking up at me. “I think things would’ve been okay had we not allowed a flaming bitch or a psychotic asshole into the picture.”
I chuckle. “Yeah.”
She rests her head against my shoulder again as we hold each other and I hear her say quietly, “I forgive you, Jag.”
I take a deep breath and let it out then rest m
y cheek on the top of her head, letting what she said wash over me. I’ve wronged her so much, yet she’s forgiving me.
God, I love her.
El
I’m a huge mix of emotions as I hold onto Jag. Jeez. How many ways could tonight go wrong?
Well, let’s see. F
irst of all, I was going to sleep with a psycho. Second, Jag got arrested. And third, I wasted this absolutely cute dress and my new shoes on a freakin’ weirdo.
Nice, Ellen.
But the best part of the night is now. Jag says he finally understands what I’ve been tr
ying to get him to see forever. This last year and a half has been ridiculous, what with me moving to LA then moving back after we broke up, then making up only to break up again, and now it’s taken Jag seeing me with someone else to wake him the heck up. If he’s really seen the light, all I can say is
halle-frickin-lujah!
And of course I
forgive him. How could I not? I love him.
But I’
m kind of screwed up now, minus the “kind of.” That’s to say I’m totally screwed up, if you didn’t quite catch that. Yep. I’m a jumbled mess of emotions and suddenly I’m tired and just exasperated with everything.
Jag pulls back and looks at me. “You okay?”
Hm. Where to begin. I huff out a laugh. “Am I okay? Well…” His eyes crinkle in the corners and sparkle down at me as he muffles a snicker, his lips tipping up a little. I take a breath and let it out then begin. “Let’s see. I believed a deranged dimwit of an underwear model instead of you, I let my insecurities break us up, I almost slept with a psychopath.” I stop here because his eyes turn navy, which I know means he’s either turned on or angry. And I’m gonna go with angry right about now. The air in the room gets heavy and I know I said the wrong thing. “Uh…”
“Hate to say anything, but, Jesus. I can’t believe you were gonna fuck him tonight.” He closes his eyes to get a grip, I suppose, and I see the sides of his jaws popping as he clenches his teeth trying not to yell at me. When he
opens his eyes, he pins me with them again and I see they’ve gotten even darker. Hoo boy. He’s really pissed. “It’s just you and me from here on out. Don’t need you thinking so hard and going off on a tangent. Got it?”
I wrinkle my brow because I’m not quite following. “What?” I whisper in confusion.
He moves his hands to hold me by my upper arms and says, “No one else gets to have you, El.
No one
,” he says the last part emphatically. “And when you start thinking about things too hard, that’s when you start believing they’re true and you stop seeing what’s right in front of you. Tangent.”
Well, that’s not very nice. I frown at him and say, “It’s not like I
wanted
to believe you were cheating on me, Jag. And it’s not like I
knew
Austin was a bad guy. Jeez. Not like I one day up and decided, ‘Hey, I think I’ll take a walk on the wacko side and believe these lunatics!’” My voice gets louder as I go along. “And you can’t tell me what to do!”
“Not sayin’
you chose to believe them, baby, but I can see the wheels turning in your head sometimes, and I know I’m getting ready to catch shit because you start convincing yourself that what they’re saying is true.” He now smiles down at me and I don’t know why this is making me so mad. Maybe because he’s right?
I pull my arms from his hands as I step away. “You cannot see the wheels in my head!”
“Cogs?” he asks with a grin.
“Jag!” I snap and cross my arms over my chest. “This isn’t funny!”
He steps toward me still grinning. “It is.”
I frown up at him because, damn it, I’m an intelligent woman. Even though
I know he’s right about what he’s said, I’m more mad at myself for believing other people over him. “It’s not,” I murmur as I look at the floor.
“Babe,” he says putting his hands on my upper arms again.
I look up at him still frowning and sigh. “You’re right. But I don’t do it on purpose!”
“I know you don’t. Look, I’m not saying any of this is your fault. I’m the idiot who let it all happen. It’s all on me, okay? Just asking you to come to me first before drawing conclusions. Yeah?”
“Okay,” I concede, dropping my arms to my sides. That makes sense. I can do that for him.
He bends and brushes my lips with his. “Must say, I’m torn,” he mutters and again I frown in confusion.
“What?”
He looks at me then down at my dress, well, my chest in particular. “This dress is fucking hot on you. Your tits look exceptionally spectacular in it, but I know you wore it for… him.”
And all the air goes heavy in the room again. Yikes.
But
I can’t help but blush at what he says and reply honestly (and quickly), “I didn’t wear it for him. I bought it a couple months ago and liked how it fit. And, um, truthfully, I actually got it with you in mind.”
He raises an eyebrow. “Yeah?”
I nod and now the heat of his stare takes my breath away as he looks me over, focusing on my cleavage, specifically the inner side boob that’s showing through the teardrop opening. “Like it, babe. Wanna fuck you in it,” he growls.
Oh, my.
Now, remember when I said my emotional state wasn’t at its best? Yeah. Now I burst into tears and he frowns grabbing me in his arms.
“Baby,” he says into my hair. “What?”
“Oh, Jag, we can’t do anything tonight,” I tell him through my tears.
He pulls back but I wrap my arms tighter around him
keeping my head pressed to his chest.
“What’s going on in that head of yours?” he asks.
“Hey, what is it?”
I pull away and look up at him, ashamed. “I was going to sleep with Austin tonight! I can’t just jump into bed with you now!”
I sob.
He watches
me for a moment then says, “Okay.”
I look up at him in surprise. “Okay?”
“Yeah, okay,” he repeats.
“You’re not mad?”
“No. I get it, babe. How about we just go to sleep?” he says and I can’t help but think that’s a great idea.
“Yeah,” I murmur and nod.
We get ready for bed, me putting on a tank top and shorts, him stripping down to his boxer briefs. It’s not awkward. We’ve done this many, many times before. Then we get in bed.
“You work tomorrow?” he asks facing me.
“No.”
“Game in Pittsburgh tomorrow night.” He sighs then reaches out and curls a piece of hair around my ear. “Gone all week then on to Atlanta. But I’ll be back next Monday for eleven days. Want to take you out
when I’m home.”
I give him a small smile. “I’d like that.”
He smiles back and leans in touching his lips to mine. “’Night.”
“’Night, Jag. I love you.”
I turn out the light as I hear him say,
“Forever and a day, babe.”
I awake a few hours later with Jag plastered
to my back, his left arm under my neck, his right draped over my waist and his hand’s holding my breast. Even in sleep, he’s showing me he’ll protect me. Well, that or he just wanted to cop a feel.
I
turn to face him taking all of him in. My God, the man’s beautiful. His dark hair is messy, that one hunk hanging low on his forehead. I reach up and lightly swipe it away then run my fingers over his cheekbone, down over his stubbled square jaw and across his lips, which he purses then frowns making them look all pouty and cute. I pull up and brush mine over them while smoothing my hand down his hard chest, over his chiseled abs, then lower where I rub my hand across his length, pressing into him harder when I hear a low, male noise come from him. I touch his neck with my mouth, putting my tongue out to taste him and feel him growing hard under my hand. Moving my hand up a little, I push it in under his waistband and wrap my fingers around him, stroking him as he grows harder and longer.
As I
run my tongue from his neck down to his chest, I gently bite his nipple and that’s when his hand behind me locks onto my butt, jerking me hard against him.
“El,” he murmurs.
I look up and see that his eyes are closed and he’s still asleep. And that’s when I have a major
Oh, my God
moment because he’s calling out to me from his subconscious.
Me.
Even in his sleep, he wants
me
. If I had any doubts before this, they’re all erased. And now I seriously want to cry because we’ve wasted so much time by letting other people tear us apart, buying into their idiotic and ridiculous bullshit when all we should’ve done was look to each other. I sigh and close my eyes for a few seconds debating whether I should stop, but I’m too turned on now and I’m not going to waste any more of our time together.
“Jag,” I whisper as I continue running my tongue over him, nipping him in
various places, trying to wake him up as I continue moving my hand up and down over his silky yet rock hard shaft. He stirs against me and utters another purely male sound that makes my stomach dip in anticipation. God, I want him so badly.
“El,” he mutters again, and now I know he’s
somewhat awake because with his strong arms he hooks me under my armpits and pulls me up to him, sliding me up his front, my hands coming down on the bed on both sides of his face, and he kisses me deep and hot and wet. I moan into his mouth, pushing my hips into his hardness, grinding down against him.
He doesn’
t waste any time in tugging my shorts and panties down and off then pulls his boxer briefs down, freeing himself, placing my legs to either side of his hips, then drives up inside me so powerfully I gasp at the sudden fullness of him inside.
“
Oh… Jag…” I whisper as a shiver rolls over me, and my body’s already amped up for him as he starts rocking his hips up and down, filling me over and over.
He pulls my tank up and over my head, his hands
moving to cup my breasts, his thumbs gliding over my nipples, pushing into them making me moan while pumping up inside me hard, and my arousal reaches new heights with each surge of his hips. Then suddenly he’s fully awake. His hands come up and he roughly grabs both sides of my head, his fingers latching into my hair, and he jerks my face to within inches of his, his thrusts still coming hard, his eyes boring into mine intensely.
“It’s you, El,” he growls. “Always. Always been you.”
Oh, my God.
“Jag…”
I whisper then feel my body responding to what he’s said, and it comes fast and suddenly I’m there, completely shattering around him, every nerve ending in my body firing to life. And it’s utterly beautiful. I can’t catch my breath as I tremble against him afterward, still feeling twinges of my climax coursing through my body when he pulls my face to his harshly, slamming his mouth against mine, taking it hard, his tongue seeking mine, tangling sensually with it when it does. When he lets me go, I’m spent and can’t help it as I collapse onto him.
He turns us, staying inside me then hands on my knees pushes my legs up against my chest as he begins moving inside again.
“Love this, El. You. All of this. Missed it,” he says low and gravelly and sexy, moving his hand down, finding the spot with his fingers working to get me there again.
I suck in a breath. “Jag, I can’t. It’s… it’s too much.”
“Again,” he says all growly and demanding.
“Oh, God…
I… can’t…” I breathe out, feeling it building.
“Again, El,”
he orders as he drives in hard.
I let out a moan because I’m almost there and it’s going to be big. Wow.
“Not yet. With me, El.”
“Jag!” I cry out not knowing if I can wait for him.
“With me,” he commands.
And I’d do anything for him, I swear I would, but this I can’t do as
my body’s had enough and my climax explodes inside me making me cry out loudly, my fingernails digging into his biceps.
“Fuck!”
he roars as he buries himself inside me deeply, coming right after I do.
I don’
t get to see him because I’m so out of my body right now, and I love watching him when he climaxes, so I’m a little bummed. But just a little.
Next time,
I think, which makes me grin to myself because it’s the first time in a long time that I actually see that there’ll be a next time with us.
He touches his mouth to mine and feels my grin. “What?” he asks when he pulls away and I hear the smile behind it.
I smirk up at him, putting a hand against his cheek. “Just thinking about our next time,” I admit.
He barks out a laugh. “Thinking about next time,” he e
choes. “My girl’s insatiable.”
“Only when it comes to you,” I
say, pulling his face to mine with both hands for a meaningful kiss.