Finding Arun (38 page)

Read Finding Arun Online

Authors: Marisha Pink

Tags: #fiction, #spiritual, #journey, #india, #soul, #past, #culture, #spiritual inspirational, #aaron, #contemporary fiction, #loneliness, #selfdiscovery, #general fiction, #comingofage, #belonging, #indian culture, #hindu culture, #journey of self, #hindi, #comingofagewithatwist, #comingofagenovel, #comingofagestory, #journey of life, #secrets and lies, #soul awareness, #journey into self, #orissa, #konark, #journey of discovery, #secrets exposed, #comingofrace, #culture and customs, #soul awakening, #past issues, #past and future, #culture and societies, #aaron rutherford, #arun, #marisha pink, #odisha, #puri

‘Good afternoon, Arun.’

‘Good afternoon, sir,’ he replied, instantly filled
with panic as he stared into Rajubhai Joshi’s deep green eyes.

‘I wondered if perhaps I might have a few moments of
your time?’

‘Of course,’ he answered more confidently than he
felt. He was certain that the old man was there to reprimand him
for meddling in the village’s affairs, or worse, that he had found
out about his secret rendezvous with Chandni a few nights
before.

‘Do you mind if we step outside? It’s a little bit
noisy in here; I can hardly hear myself.’

Arun led the way through the house and out into the
backyard, where the sun was slowly starting to sink into the
horizon. Rajubhai Joshi appeared calm and composed, but Arun
instinctively felt on edge, nervously twisting his fingers around
the cup that he was holding.

‘It would seem that you have an aptitude for
pursuing things behind my back, Arun,’ the old man began. ‘First my
daughter, and now my village.’

Arun remained silent, fearful that anything he said
would be twisted or made to sound worse than it actually was, much
like during their previous confrontation.

‘Whilst I am not fond of secrecy or lies, I do have
to admire your tenacity. You believed that our village could be
saved and, in spite of my lack of support for your ideas, you went
after what you believed in. That took a lot of courage and I
respect courage. This whole village is now forever indebted to you,
as am I.’

Rajubhai Joshi paused momentarily and Arun released
a long sigh, relieved to discover that the old man was not there to
chastise him for his actions.

‘I am prepared to admit that I may have misjudged
you, Arun, and for that I am sorry. My daughter speaks very highly
of you, as do many other members of our community, and I can see
that she has not been the same since I forced you from her life.
She says that the two of you are in love; tell me, is this true? Do
you love my daughter?’

‘Yes sir, I do, very much,’ Arun croaked, his mouth
dry from nerves.

He held his breath in his chest whilst Rajubhai
Joshi silently contemplated his admission, unsure exactly where the
line of questioning was leading.

‘Do you really believe that she has what it takes to
become a tour guide in Mumbai?’

‘Yes sir, I do.’

‘But you yourself are returning to England,
correct?’

‘Yes sir, that is correct.’

‘May I ask why? I was previously informed that you
wished to study at medical college here in India.’

Arun shifted his weight uncomfortably from one foot
to the other; this was not really any of Rajubhai Joshi’s business,
but in the spirit of honesty, which the old man had made it very
clear that he valued, Arun decided to go with the truth.

‘Arthur, my father, has refused to pay for my
medical college tuition fees if I stay in India.’

‘I see. And why is that?’

‘It’s … complicated, sir. He doesn’t believe that I
belong here and he would prefer it if I came home.’

‘Do you believe that you belong here, Arun?’

‘Yes sir, very much so.’

Rajubhai Joshi was silent again, seemingly searching
for the right words to convey his thoughts.

‘Arun, I am going to put an idea to you. I realise
that it might be somewhat … alien, growing up where you have, but I
feel that it is my duty as a father to at least explore the subject
on my daughter’s behalf.’

‘Okay …’ Arun responded hesitantly, feeling more and
more uneasy by the second.

‘As you know, I cannot allow you to court my
daughter in the manner that you enjoyed previously; it is simply
not appropriate for a young Indian girl to be seen cavorting around
town with a man that she is not married to,’ he began disdainfully.
‘However, if you really love each other as much as you profess to,
and you are prepared to stay in India, then I am willing to give my
consent for the two of you to be married.’

‘MARRIED,’ Arun spluttered loudly, before he could
stop himself.

Rajubhai Joshi regarded him calmly, unmoved by his
outburst, and when Arun offered no additional comment or protest,
he continued.

‘If you accept my proposal, I will perform the
marriage ceremony here in the village at the mandir. I will provide
sufficient dowry, such that you may both continue to live
comfortably in the village, however, if you wish to travel to
Mumbai and study, then I’m afraid that is a matter for the two of
you to work out.’

‘And if I don’t marry Chandni?’ he asked, regretting
the question almost as soon as it left his lips.

‘Then I would respectfully ask that once you return
to England, you let her be. For you, I understand that it is of no
significance to be of a certain age and remain unmarried, however
for Chandni it is important that I find her a husband soon, before
she is considered to be too old. And I know that she will not
submit fully to anything, while she believes that there is a
possibility of resurrecting her relationship with you.’

Arun’s mouth was wide open with disbelief, while he
listened to Rajubhai Joshi calmly laying out his proposal. He
simply couldn’t believe what he was hearing and the idea that he
would have to choose between marrying Chandni and abandoning his
dreams of becoming a doctor, or pursuing his aspirations but
ceasing all contact with her forever, was too much for him to cope
with.

‘What does Chandni think of your proposal, sir?’
were all the words that he could manage.

Rajubhai Joshi was talking about her as though she
was a possession and though he was loathe to go out of his way to
upset the old man, it was really only Chandni’s opinion that
mattered to Arun.

‘We discussed it at great length last night and she
believes that it is fair. She is a very traditional girl at heart,
who only wants to do the right thing and I regret that in recent
months both you and I have repeatedly forced her to choose between
making one or the other of us happy. I know that she loves you, she
has told me so on many occasions, but she also respects our
culture’s traditions and wishes to conduct herself accordingly. I
believe that it is her overwhelming preference to marry you, but
she understands the sacrifices that this will involve, and accepts
the need to seek an alternative pairing, if you yourself are not
ready to commit to such an undertaking at this time.’

Arun weighed Rajubhai Joshi’s words in his mind; the
old man was behaving as though a marriage to Chandni was a business
transaction and, though it made Arun uncomfortable, it didn’t
surprise him to learn that Chandni had agreed to the proposal. She
was indeed a traditional girl at heart and it was one of the many
things that he loved about her, yet the prospect of forfeiting his
ambitions and committing to marriage at such a young age, even to
Chandni, remained something that he would need to think long and
hard about.

‘Take your time, Arun,’ continued Rajubhai Joshi, as
though reading his mind. ‘I understand that this is not a decision
to be taken lightly.’

Arun nodded in acknowledgement, unsure what else he
was supposed to say.

After a long and awkward pause, Rajubhai Joshi
thanked him again for saving the village and politely excused
himself from the backyard. Arun stared at the space where the old
man had been, subconsciously willing a sign to appear in its place
that would point him in the right direction. Every time that his
life seemed to be on track, the wind would change and throw him so
off course that he had no option but to return to the starting line
and replot his path. He had a lot of thinking to do and some tough
decisions to make, and whilst it was all very well Rajubhai Joshi
telling him to take his time, time was a luxury that he had simply
run out of. He was due to fly back to England the following evening
and if he wasn’t on that plane, then that would automatically be
one decision made for him.

 

 

THIRTY-NINE

 

THE party continued in a hazy blur and Arun was
unable to concentrate on any of the conversations that guests tried
to engage him in. He needed to speak with Hanara and Lucky alone,
to tell them about Rajubhai Joshi’s proposition and to seek their
advice, but until the villagers reached their fill of food, drink
and dancing, it didn’t seem as though the party would end. Arun was
rapidly growing tired, frustrated and irritable, and he felt
emotionally drained by the constant need to re-evaluate his
options. On its own, Arthur’s ultimatum had been difficult to
digest, but to have a second issued to him by Rajubhai Joshi was
simply too much. This second challenge made the first seem like
child’s play; he could cope with never seeing or speaking to Arthur
again and he was returning to the UK to pursue his medical career,
not because he feared being cut out of the old man’s life. However,
the same could not be said for Chandni. He loved her and he had
made a promise to her, facts that rendered the thought of losing
her forever all the more cutting.

It wasn’t that Arun didn’t want to marry Chandni one
day, but Rajubhai Joshi’s inflexible proposition had wide-reaching
consequences, consequences that would dictate how he lived the rest
of his life and consequences that he was unsure he was fully
equipped to cope with yet. He was so young and he still had so much
to accomplish; how could he offer a woman any of the things that a
husband should provide for his wife? How would he take care of
himself, let alone Chandni, if he didn’t complete his medical
degree? His head began to ache from the spiral of questions and,
unable to hear himself think clearly, he revived his old party
trick of slipping away to the bedroom when he was sure that no-one
was looking.

He lay down on the mattress and stared at the damp
spots on the ceiling, desperately trying to quiet his mind, but he
couldn’t keep from thinking about everything. He had achieved the
impossible; he had changed Rajubhai Joshi’s opinion of him to such
an extent that the old man was prepared to offer him his daughter
and welcome him into the family. It was a once in a lifetime
opportunity and if they married, Chandni too would be able to have
the kind of relationship that she had always desired. There was no
doubt in his mind that she would make a loving, doting wife, but
more than that, their union would at least make the pursuit of her
dreams in Mumbai a possibility one day. Yet if they didn’t marry,
Rajubhai Joshi would likely marry her off to a man who shared his
belief that women belonged in the home, and Arun would never be
permitted to speak to, touch, kiss or hold her ever again. The
prospect alone was unimaginable and Arun shuddered when he recalled
how awful he had felt the day that Chandni had tried to end their
relationship. It was possible that the end of their relationship
was his biggest fear, greater than anything else, for he didn’t
know how, or even if, he could cope without having her in his
life.

Overwhelmed by his attempts to unpick the tangle of
thoughts in his mind, his body shut down in protest and Arun soon
drifted off into a deep sleep. The short snooze was replete with
vivid, twisted dreams and it was only when he heard the faint sound
of someone calling his name from afar and felt his body being
gently shaken from side to side, that he was roused.

‘Here you are only. We’ve been looking everywhere
for you,’ said Hanara, peering down kindly into his face.

Arun stared up at her feeling somewhat disorientated
and lazily rubbed the sleep from his eyes with the backs of his
knuckles.

‘Sorry, I must have dozed off.’

‘You missed half of your party and, I must say, some
excellent dancing; even Mrs Satpathy had a little wiggle,’ said
Lucky brightly, demonstrating his best moves as he entered the
room.

He lowered himself down onto the mattress beside
Hanara, while Arun eased himself into a sitting position.

‘Did you enjoy yourselves?’ Arun asked, yawning.

‘Oh very much so, it was a great celebration only,’
smiled Hanara.

‘I saw you talking to Rajubhai Joshi,’ chimed Lucky.
‘I told you that he would be impressed by what you did, isn’t it?
He even came to your party.’

For a split second Arun had forgotten all about
their conversation, but at Lucky’s words he felt his head fill with
questions once more and a sharp stabbing pain behind his eyes
caused him to wince in agony.

‘What’s the matter?’ asked Hanara, the concern
apparent in her voice.

‘I … Rajubhai Joshi … he made me a …
proposition.’

‘What sort of proposition?’

Arun sighed, his throat hoarse and dry from
sleep.

‘He said that he would give his blessing for me to
marry Chandni.’

‘Hey Bhagwan! That’s brilliant, Arun,’ cried Hanara,
instantly springing to her feet and clapping her hands together
with delight.

Lucky was quickly on his feet too, his crooked smile
splitting his face so wide that he couldn’t form any words of
congratulation with his mouth. Their excitement and enthusiasm
contrasted sharply with Arun’s sobriety, as he remained seated,
paralysed by the weight of the decision that lay before him.

‘Why aren’t you happy?’ queried Hanara, ceasing her
revelry at the sight of Arun still motionless on the mattress.

‘We have to marry now. We have to marry now and I
have to stay in India.’

‘But that’s great. This is what you wanted, isn’t
it?’ asked Lucky, now as confused as Hanara.

‘Yes … no … not like this. I don’t know if I’m ready
to get married yet,’ he mumbled.

‘Well then wait a while only and when you are ready
then it can be arranged,’ concluded Lucky simply.

‘Lucky, Rajubhai Joshi is only giving his permission
if we marry now. If we don’t … if we don’t then he said that I must
leave Chandni alone so that he can find somebody else for her. But
if I don’t go home now, I can kiss goodbye to my medical
career.’

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