Finding Chase (Chasing Nikki) (14 page)

The thought of Britt made me sigh in frustration. “I’ll be fine. Just trying to work through some stuff.”

“When did you become such a wuss?”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re not the Chase I used to know—the guy who never let anything stand in his way. You wanted something—you went and got it. Don’t you remember how you chased Nikki down until she finally gave in? Now you sit around acting moody all the time. I mean, I know you’ve been through hell and back, but you’re worse than a mopey dang girl these days. I don’t know how much longer I can take it.”

“I’m not
that
bad,” I grumbled.

“Dude you were listening to love songs by the Backstreet Boys in your room last night.”

“It was an old playlist mix Nikki made for me,” I said defensively, and he rolled his eyes. I sighed, relenting. “Fine, I give up. I may have been acting a little grumpy lately.”

“A little?” He raised his eyebrows. “I’ve been ready to call your mom and tell her she should come talk to you.”

“Don’t do that. She’s only been married a week. Let her enjoy it. I’ll be fine.”

“How do I know that? Are you going to do something about it?”

“About what?” I asked, confused.

Brett shook his head. “About Brittney. Are you going to mope around, or are you going to man up and get your girl.”

I was shocked. “How do you know this has anything to do with Brittney?”

“Blind, dead dogs can see you have a thing for her, bro. Every time the two of you get within twenty feet of each other it’s like the air starts lighting up with electricity. What’s the hold up? Get it over with, and put the rest of us out of our misery. Besides, it’d be fun to double date together.”

“It’s not gonna happen.”

“Why not?”

“Have you talked to your sister about any of this?”

He shook his head. “No. She’s as tight lipped about things as you are. What’s going on?”

“She doesn’t want me,” I stated bluntly, as I pulled my gear over my head as we walked into the locker room.

“Bull.”

I shrugged, reaching to undo my practice pants. “Believe it or not, it’s your choice. I tried talking to her about it, and she said she didn’t feel like it was a good thing. She thinks I’ll constantly compare her to Nikki, and she’ll be competing against a ghost that’ll always be perfect in my eyes.”

Sitting on the bench, I took my shoes and socks off before grabbing a towel and heading to the showers, not waiting for Brett’s reply. I turned the water on as hot as I could stand it and let it sluice over my skin as I braced against the wall, trying to relax my tight muscles. I hurt everywhere—inside and out—and I couldn’t help thinking some blunt would be the perfect thing right now to take the edge off.

I only allowed myself to entertain the thought for a few seconds before forcing myself to move on to the subject of food and what sounded good for dinner. I was getting dang sick of pizza lately. It seemed like that’s all Brett and I ever ate these days.

“Let’s go eat somewhere good tonight,” I hollered to Brett as I grabbed the soap and started washing off.

“Like where?” he answered loudly from wherever he was.

“I don’t care, as long as it’s not pizza!”

“Wanna go to that restaurant Britt works at?”

“No!” I said forcefully. “Jennifer works there, and she’s pissed at me right now. I’d probably end up with a razor blade in my food or something. We should probably avoid that place for a while.”

“How about The Devil’s Pit then?”

“As long as Matt isn’t there. I think it’s his preferred hangout now. I can’t eat if I have to look at him.”

“Dude, if you’re gonna keep burning bridges, can you stop doing it with peeps from our favorite restaurants?”

I laughed. “The Devil’s Pit is fine. If Matt’s there I’ll punch him in the face and throw him out the door. It’ll improve the environment.”

“So I should plan on dinner in jail is that what you’re saying?”

I scoffed. “Would I do that to you?”

“Yes, I believe you would.”

I grinned, turning off the water and grabbing a towel to dry before tucking it around my waist. I emerged from the shower to find Brett leaving one a few stalls down. As we approached the lockers, Coach Bell walked in, looking between the two of us solemnly.

“Have either of you been outside recently?” he asked.

I shook my head. “No, we’ve been on the practice field, why?”

“Get dressed and meet me outside,” he said, heading toward the door.

“Wonder what that’s all about?” Brett muttered.

“I have no idea, but he didn’t look too happy, did he?”

“Nope.”

When we were clothed, we grabbed our equipment bags and headed into the hall, making our way to the parking lot. Coach Bell was waiting by the front door as we stepped out.

“What’s up, Coach?” I asked, waiting for him to fill us in.

He pointed to the lot. “Isn’t that yours?”

I glanced in the direction he indicated. “What the hell?” I dropped my bag on the sidewalk and ran toward my truck—
my truck
—smashed up by a baseball bat from the looks of it.

My eyes watered as I stared at the last gift I’d received from my dad before he died. All the windows were busted, the headlights had been bashed in and huge gouging dents covered the body.

“Who would do this?” Brett asked, joining me, his jaw gaping.

“I’ve called the cops. They should be here any minute,” Coach said as he walked up. “Hopefully they can find some eye witnesses. This is extensive damage. It would’ve taken someone a while to do it.”

“Unless it was more than one person, “Brett added.

I peered inside, the upholstery slashed, and wires were dangling from the gaping hole where my stereo used to be. Even the tires were flat.

“Don’t touch anything,” Coach said. “The police might be able to find fingerprints or something.”

I closed my eyes, the image of my dad standing on the carport the morning of my birthday flashed in front of me, and it was as if someone had sucker punched me—ripping away my last good memory of him. I couldn’t stop shaking with rage. If I ever discovered who did this, they were going to be in severe danger of ending up like my truck.

Chapter Sixteen

There was a soft knock at my bedroom door, but I ignored it. I wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone right now. I lay still in the dark, not making a sound, hoping whoever it was would think I was already asleep and go away.

I bit back a groan as the knock came again. “Chase?” Brittney’s voice spoke.

I wondered what she wanted, but I didn’t answer.

The door opened a crack, and I watched as she poked her head in, the fixture from the hallway backlighting her and making her blonde hair glow like she was an angel.

“Chase?”

“You’re taking a big risk coming in here like this.” I released a sigh. “What if I’d been laying here naked?”

She shrugged. “What if you had? Do you sleep naked often?”

I snorted. “Nah, not really.”

“I didn’t think so. Can I come in?”

“If you don’t mind sitting in the dark. I have a blinding headache right now.”

She stepped the rest of the way inside, leaving the door open a crack as she came to stand beside the edge of the bed. “Scoot over. I want to lay down next to you.”

My pulse sped up even though I didn’t want it to. I did as she asked, moving closer to the wall. She stretched out and cuddled against me, laying her head on my shoulder, then wrapping an arm and leg across the top of me. My arms went around her voluntarily.

“What brought this on?” I asked, completely confused.

“I thought you might need a hug.”

“So you’re copping a pity feel then?” I didn’t like that. “I don’t need you to be sorry for me, Britt.”

She embraced me tighter. “I’m sorry about your truck, yes, but that’s not why I came.”

My pulse picked up. “Why did you?”

“I realized today that I miss you. I don’t like the awkwardness between us right now, and I don’t like knowing I’ve hurt you.”

I pondered this for a moment, loving the way she felt in my arms—different, but good all the same. I squeezed her lightly. “I’m trying to understand. I know you can’t help how you feel.”

“That’s just it. I’m pushing you away for the wrong reasons. It’s not because I’m not attracted to you—I am. It’s because I’m scared of what you might do to my heart if it doesn’t work.”

“What are you saying, Britt?” I held my breath, hoping.

“I’m saying I want to date you . . . if you still want me.” In the small shaft of light from the doorway, I could see her biting her lip.

My breath came in a rush of relief as I hugged her tighter, nestling my chin into her hair. “I still want you.” I was soaring on cloud nine. I hadn’t felt this happy since . . . Nikki. I shoved that thought to the back of my mind. “What made you change your mind?”

She made an ironic laughing sound. “Jeff actually.”

This surprised me. “What? How?”

She sighed. “Every time I’ve been with him this week I’ve compared him to you. I look at him and think about how he looks next to you. I watch what he does, and I wonder if you would do it that way. It finally occurred to me that he wasn’t the person I wanted to be with all the time. You were.”

“So did you talk to him about it?”

“I did.”

“And?”

“He said you seemed like a decent guy, and he wouldn’t hold any grudges.”

“Remind me to send him a Christmas card this year.” I grinned. “So, what now?”

“Now we take it slow, Chase, and I mean almost painfully slow. There’s no need to rush things. Let’s date and see what happens. I don’t want to force something that might not be there.”

“And by slow you mean . . . ?”

“No throwing me on your bed and making out with me while you’re peeling my clothes off. I don’t even want there to be kissing right now. Let’s really get to know each other better before we start throwing a bunch of hormones into the mix, okay? You owe it to yourself. You’re coming from a difficult place, and I want you to be sure about things. Really sure.”

“I’m not gonna take advantage and run away. You can trust me.”

“I do trust you, otherwise I wouldn’t be here. But I’ve come from a bad relationship too. I need time to heal as well. Can you do this for me?”

I sighed. “I’ll try, but it’s gonna be awfully hard if you keep crawling into my bed like this.”

“Then I’ll go. I wanted you to know how I felt, though.”

She rolled away, and I missed her instantly. My first instinct was to grab her back, but I knew if I did I’d be pushing her conditions. I was ready to make out with her the entire night. I didn’t want to scare her away again, though. She was definitely scared and fragile.

I watched her as she slipped through the door.

“Brittney,” I called, and she poked her head in again.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.” I couldn’t help my smile.

“Good night, Chase.”

I woke the next morning, full of energy, refreshed and ready to start a new day. I hopped out of bed and hurried to the shower across the hall, singing to myself as I went. When I was finished, I went into Brett’s room.

“Hey dude. Can I borrow your car for a while this morning? My rental won’t be ready until noon.”

“Keys are on the dresser,” he mumbled into his pillow.

“Thanks, man. You’re the best! I won’t be gone long.”

He lifted his head slightly and squinted at me with one eye. “Why are you up this early, and why are you so dang chipper?”

I grinned. “It’s a beautiful day outside. Time to start living.” I headed toward the door.

Brett sat up and stared at me. “Now you’re scaring me.”

I chuckled. “Brittney came to visit me last night.”

“And?”

I shrugged. “And we’re going to date. She wants to take things slow, but I’m okay with that. Some is better than none, right?”

He smiled. “I’m glad she’s coming around.” He paused, watching me for a moment before continuing. “Happy looks good on you.”

“I agree. I feel good for the first time in . . . ,” A bit of regret shot through me. “Is it bad that I don’t feel guilty? I feel guilty because I don’t feel guilty. Is that okay?” I didn’t know if I was making any sense.

“You want my honest opinion?” he asked, solemnly.

“Let’s hear it.”

“I think Nikki, wherever she is, is probably clapping her hands with joy seeing the smile on your face. She’d be devastated knowing how badly you’ve suffered because of her. I’ve always thought she’d want you to be happy.”

I mulled his comment over, remembering the recent dream I’d had about her. “It’s been hard to let go. I still love her so much.”