Authors: Louise Forster
“Yep, Italian pepperoni, extra cheese, and double fudge chocolate mousse.”
The old lady shook her head. “That girl don’t eat right, she’s as thin as a rail.”
Jack chuckled. “I’ll take it up if you like—unless you want to climb five flights?”
“No thanks. That’s fifteen bucks.” The young man’s eyes turned shrewd. “Plus tips.”
“Of course,” Jack said, handing over twenty.
The kid pressed Katherine’s buzzer. When she answered, he said, “Pizza, ma’am.”
“Thank you.” Katherine released the door lock.
The pizza delivery boy looked at Jack. “In case you thought of eating it on the way up.” He grinned and took off.
The elderly woman blinked at Jack. “Ya got done—ya know that don’t ya.”
“Yes I do. But he could be working his way through college,” Jack said, teeth chattering. Balancing the pizza box, he shouldered the door open and carried her groceries to her ground-floor apartment.
“Say hello to Katie for me, and tell her from me to eat more.” She gave him a toothy grin, her pink nose shining and rosy cheeks wrinkling. She took her groceries and, resting them on her hip, went inside.
“Sure will, Mrs …?”
“Mrs Svenkle.” She nodded and closed the door.
Jack looked at the broad timber stairs winding up. His pulse thumped as he started to climb the steps two at a time. Out of breath from searing cold and tension, he rang Katherine’s doorbell, hoping he was going about this the right way.
Katherine opened the door and, head down, rummaged through her change. “How much is that?” she asked.
“A kiss?” Jack murmured.
She gasped. Her heart skipped, she couldn’t move and stared at him, tongue-tied. Seconds passed, and Jack gave her the slow, easy smile she loved so much. She dropped her purse and flung herself at Jack. Arms around his shoulders, she buried her face in his neck. The pizza box fell with a slap on the timber landing, and he wrapped his strong arms around her.
“Kate … Kate,” he murmured, his body shaking.
Katherine couldn’t let go; she needed to cling to someone strong, dependable. Jack was all of that, and more.
A shudder racked his body, and she realised his inner core was cold. She stepped back and studied his face. A tear trickled down her cheek and, with the pad of his thumb, he gently slipped it away.
“You’re frozen! Quick, come inside.”
Jack scooped up the pizza box, and Katherine pulled him into the hallway. She grabbed the box and dropped it on her hall table, then yanked his coat off, and hung it on a hook next to hers.
“Leandra was adamant th-that-t I ask: have you called your m-mum?”
Hand on his chest, she said, “No. God, poor Mum.”
“
Ughrrrr
. Not good,” Jack groaned.
“We’ll be okay once we see each other. What’ve you been doing to get this cold? Take your shoes off.”
“Waiting out-t-side,” he said, teeth chattering.
“Why didn’t
you
buzz me?”
“And ruin the s-surprise?”
“It was the best surprise ever, but don’t do it again.”
“N-never. Mrs Svenkle s-says hello.”
“Oh, you met. It’s a wonder she didn’t drag you into her apartment—”
“N-not her t-type.”
“—and fill you with hot soup.” Katherine shook her head.
“K-Kate.” Jack’s teeth chattered so hard he could barely say her name. He took her hands in his. “We have t-to sort th-things out-t.”
“Sort what out?” Katherine’s worries bubbled to the surface. “Is there something I should know?”
“D-don’t think s-so. Leand-dra told me, y-you’re Andrew’s daughter,” Jack said, his grey eyes full of understanding. “I know this has been a sh-shock …” He looked down at his hands. “Fuck! Sorry, but-t shock doesn’t really cover it-t. Whatever I want to say seems trivial. One thing is certain; I want to see a lot more of you. I want—”
“How’s that possible? We live on opposite sides of the world.”
“I’ll commute.” Jack shrugged. “I don’t see a problem.” Still shivering, he tucked his hands into his armpits and paced in her living room. “Christ-t I’ll never feel warm again.”
“Strip and get into the shower,” Katherine ordered, shoving him towards her bathroom. “What does that mean:
I’ll commute?
”
Jack stripped off his sweater, and yanked off his pants and thermals while Katherine turned the shower on.
“Get in there and get warm!”
“Y-you c-coming?” he asked, trying to smile.
“No!” she gathered his clothes. “I’ll go and make you a hot chocolate, laced with something.”
“
Brrrrr
, this country is not fit-t for human habit-tati-tion,” he shuddered.
“Huh?!” Katherine groaned. “It’s obvious you don’t want to live here. And anyway, that’s asking a lot—a person would have to haul their sorry arse thousands of miles to another country where they don’t know anyone. I will have a job here, plus there’s the lodge, and most importantly, there’s my mum, Pierre, Leandra, Cynthia and Bubbles.”
She left the bathroom, emptied his pants pockets onto the island bench and headed for the laundry. She shoved his clothes into the dryer, and wondered why; if he was going to commute, he’d better get used to being wet and cold.
“I’m so pissed off!” she yelled and hoped he heard, though there was no reaction. Maybe he’d fainted with the rush of blood to his thawing limbs. She hurried to the bathroom and peeked in. She could see his silhouette through the misted glass doors. His hands were flat against the tiles and, head dipped, he let the water cascade over his athletic body. The urge to strip and join him was almost too strong. “Oh god. Later,” she whispered to herself and went into the kitchen. She grabbed a mug, dumped cocoa, sugar and milk into it and plonked it into the microwave.
Blast it
. A deeper problem niggled. What was it?
“Kate,” Jack called out. “What have you done with my gear?”
She collected his clothes and marched to the bathroom. Other than noticing his blotchy red and blue skin, she pointedly ignored his physique. “Here.” She shoved his clothes at his bare chest. “Your cocoa’s ready.” She took off to pace in the living room, and wondered what the hell was happening.
Jack came out of the bathroom and, on seeing her, his eyes darkened. “Tell me what you’re thinking,” he insisted. “Is it Andrew you’re worried about? We can fix it. It’s not difficult, they were lovers. Your mother meant everything to Andrew; he just wants to make contact again that’s all.”
“What would’ve happened if I hadn’t found the tin? I suppose Andrew would’ve wondered about Mum until he died. That’s so cruel. And why on earth did Dave think it might be Cynthia?”
“The search came up with Cynthia and Leandra because dates and the lack of a father drew Dave’s connections to that conclusion. Cynthia and Ellie, or rather Margaret, dated Mike and Andrew respectively. Mike died in Cambodia.” Jack sipped his hot cocoa and continued with his story. “Cambodian villagers came across what they thought were corpses. Mike was dead, but when they turned Andrew over, he moaned. They carried him to their village, tended his wounds and fed him. They wanted to help Andrew, but for their own safety they had to hide him. They kept moving him around from one house to another and one village to another. They often changed leaders and guards, breaking the trail from one person to the next, thereby breaking the trail to Andrew, and keeping their own people as safe as possible. Somewhere along the way his papers were left behind in one of the villages. Afraid they’d be found, they burned them. Dangerous times in that area in 1973. They were in a hot steamy jungle, dodging bullets, landmines and deadly snakes. They risked their lives helping him.”
“Andrew must feel indebted to them.”
“Is this your way of asking what Andrew is like?”
“Probably,” Katherine smiled.
“It was difficult. Stay, and he endangered all their lives, including the children’s. Leave, and there was a chance of getting caught by the Khmer Rouge. Nevertheless, he thought leaving was the lesser of two evils. After Pol Pot’s death, Andrew went back. He made sure the villagers were okay, and helped them out by restocking their farms. He brought generators to the village, had new wells dug, and recently had solar power panels put up. He makes sure all the kids get an education. He’s heavily involved and loves it. He’s a top bloke,
the
best. Even if your mother doesn’t want anything to do with him, I have to tell Andrew Ellie has been found. I can’t keep it from him.”
Her stomach tensed. How was she going to handle this? “It’s going to be difficult to imagine that I have a father I never knew.”
“Difficult for me as well.”
She gave him a what-would-you-know look. “How so?”
“I’m dating my stepsister.” He raised his eyebrows and gave her a look.
“Oh! Put like that it sounds so wrong.” Katherine shook her head. “And it’s not true: Andrew adopted you.”
“Yeah, whichever way you explain it, it’s screwed.” Hands out, Jack shrugged. “Doesn’t worry me, but I can’t put myself in your place, Kate. And none of it’s easy.”
“No, but I like your attitude.”
He took her hands in his. “There’s something else.”
“Oh—what now?”
“I can’t imagine leaving you for a moment,” Jack said earnestly. “I want to be with you, always. Look at me, I’m a mess. The thought of life without you, and I fall apart.” His eyes fastened on hers. “I’d freeze my arse off, but I’d live in an igloo as long as I had you with me.”
“That’s lovely.” She could see him warring with something. Mixed emotions twisted through his handsome face—sorrow, anger … guilt? Muscles above his jaw flexed. “What else?”
“My mother died two years ago from old injuries. My … my father—not Andrew—often laid into Mum. He always used his fists, never hit her face. Find a woman with a black eye and people will point their finger at the husband. No, he was very careful when it came to hitting her; he’d go for the kidneys, the stomach, the ribs …” Jack buried his face in his hands and Katherine waited. He pulled his hands away and looked down at them, teeth clenched. “He hit her kidneys once too often. Mum knew I lived with the fear that I would turn into a monster like him, and everyday she would tell me how much I was growing and becoming more like Andrew, rather than my father.”
“The mere fact that you’re worried proves you couldn’t be. Did you ever pull the wings off a fly, kick a puppy, bully kids at school just because they were weaker?”
“No. Never entered my head.”
“Right. You’re gentle. Everything about you is gentle. Your mum would know her son.”
“Yeah, you’re right, she loved me and Andrew. He’s a compassionate man, kind and gentle. They spent hours talking, and naturally discussed old loves. Mum urged him to look for Ellie, your mother Margaret.”
“What was your mother’s name?”
“Grace Shepherd. Andrew and Mum married, and she became Grace Riley, a respected lady in the country town of Tumble Creek.”
“How did they meet?”
“One night, my biological father came home drunk and, because he’d lost money on the horses, he took it out on Mum. The beating was vicious. I was ten and I tried to stop him. He backhanded me. I went flying across the room, my head hit a doorjamb, and I slid to the floor. Blood poured from a gash on the back of my head. Enraged, Mum grabbed the nearest heavy object—a chair—and hit him over the head. Once I came around, we dragged him to the bedroom and left him. We quickly gathered clothes and some food. I didn’t want to take anything else. I didn’t want to see my broken toys and be reminded of the man who took a hammer to them. Mum drove through the night,” Jack smiled. “She had no idea where she was going, and I didn’t care. We finally ran out of petrol and stopped on the side of a country road. Early the next morning, we woke to a spectacular sunrise and a scene of green rolling hills, great stands of eucalyptus trees, and vineyards. It was so unusual for us to wake up to bird calls that we both laughed. We were standing in the sun, soaking up its warmth, when a car rattled over a cattle grid. I turned around and noticed the driveway with curved stone walls on either side. The car stopped, and a man got out to check his mail. He called out to us and asked if we needed help. My mother swung around too fast and doubled over in pain. Andrew Riley dropped everything and rushed to help. Next thing I knew, we’re in his house, I’m eating bacon and eggs, and there’s a doctor tending Mum.”
“Is this what you meant the other day when you said we all have baggage?”
“Yes—I was a desperate, scared, skinny ten-year-old. I wanted to help Mum, but I couldn’t.” He paused then added, “And I can’t change the past.”
“God, what am I whingeing about. It makes my life look perfect.” She leaned in and kissed him.
His brow furrowed, he was agonising over something to the point of shaking. “I love you,” he said as if his statement was something he suddenly recognised. “I love you.”
Katherine covered her mouth with her hand, and through eyes awash with tears, she stared at him and said, “Gosh …!”
“Gosh? That’s it … gosh?” He smiled, yet he looked stunned.
Katherine couldn’t stop staring.
“You’re scaring me, but I’m going to push on. What if I tell you that the distance between Canada and Australia is of no consequence to us.”