Finding Home (24 page)

Andrea gazed at her for a long time before she said anything.

When she did, there was no accusation in her voice. It was a simple, soft-spoken question. “What are you doing, Natty?”

“Nothing.”
God, sound like a whiny child much?
“I’m not doing anything. I swear.” The truth was she had no earthly idea what she was doing. First of all, she’d barely managed to keep breathing as she’d helped Sarah undress and get out of her shredded and stained shirt once they returned from the hospital.

Keeping her hands to herself and not running her Þ ngertips over Sarah’s lean and creamy-looking torso had taken a Herculean effort, but she’d done it…not to mention that the desire to do so had stunned her. Thank God Sarah had kept her back to her when she divested herself of her bra and slipped on an old Provincetown T-shirt. Once she’d pulled the covers up to Sarah’s chin, she’d expelled an enormous breath and was sure she was home free.

But then…the kiss. Yes, Sarah had initiated it, but Sarah was also in a painkiller-induced stupor and Natalie should have known better. Regardless of that fact, Natalie had allowed it, allowed their lips to meet, allowed it to keep going on and on and on…

God, Sarah’s lips were so soft, so warm. Feeling Andrea’s stare, she snapped back to reality. “Nothing,” she promised again, hoping it sounded a lot less feeble than it felt.

It was painfully obvious that Andrea didn’t believe her but had simply let her off the hook for the time being. Gesturing with her chin in the direction Bentley had gone, she changed the subject. “He hasn’t eaten much. I tried to give him a niblet here and there, but he wasn’t interested.”

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“He was probably worried. Thank you for taking him. I appreciate it.”

“Hey, anything for you.” Her half-grin told Natalie she was still loved, despite her stupidity. Not that Natalie had doubted it, but it was nice to have it be clear.

“So…Mary Beth?”

The half-grin became a full-on, smitten one. “We’re going out tonight. Dinner and a movie. Get to know each other a bit better.”

“That sounds great.” Despite the little trysts into the woods with Mary Beth, Natalie knew that Andrea had kept her guard up and hadn’t let things go any further. For all her bravado and tough talk, she’d been very careful with this new woman. That told Natalie a lot about how she might really feel. “I expect a full report in the morning, missy.”

“As do I,” Andrea said, arching one eyebrow to punctuate the point, telling Natalie that the subject was not closed, not by a long shot. When Natalie looked uncomfortably down at her own bare feet, she added, “And, Natty?”

“Hmm?”

“Be careful, okay? I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

Natalie nodded.

After closing the door behind Andrea, she stood with her forehead against it, just breathing, trying to get her bearings.

You’d think I was the one on the drugs that are making me loopy.

She doubted very highly that Sarah had any recollection at all of the kiss, that she’d had no idea what she was doing at the time.

Natalie should just write it off as no big deal. So why was she having such a hard time doing that? Why couldn’t she get it out of her head? Why did her lips still feel like they were on Þ re?

The smart money said that Sarah was heading to New Zealand, that she would take the promotion and be on her way before long. It had been obvious during the picnic that it was a huge opportunity, one she shouldn’t pass up. While she wanted to

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think Sarah had truly wanted her advice on the subject, the truth was, she was probably just being nice. She’d most likely already made up her mind to go. And when she did, once she was gone to the other side of the planet, Natalie would probably hardly ever see her again.

“God damn it,” she growled and headed into the kitchen to heat up the soup, realizing that not only did Sarah need to eat, but that she herself was also starving, having put nothing in her stomach since the picnic several hours ago. Reaching for the refrigerator door to get a drink, she noticed again the note she’d jotted off a couple weeks ago, pretending to be Bentley. That Sarah had kept it pinned to the door with a magnet still made Natalie smile.

Within a short span of time, she had soup, a cup of tea for Sarah, and a Pepsi for herself all situated on a tray she found in a low cupboard. She balanced it all carefully and took it into Sarah’s room where she felt Þ lled with affectionate warmth at the picture before her. Bentley was stretched out along Sarah’s hip, his head perched on her thigh, eyes open and on alert. Sarah looked like she was still asleep and if it weren’t for the contented smile on her lips and her moving hand as she gently scratched her dog’s coat, Natalie wouldn’t have known otherwise. She took a deep breath and entered the room.

“Hey, you’re not supposed to be on this bed, mister,” she said playfully to Bentley. “That’s only at my house. Mama’s going to kick our asses.”

“No, he’s okay,” Sarah said smiling weakly, keeping her eyes closed. “I don’t mind. I think he was worried about me.”

“I’m sure he was. I Þ nally got that soup made. You feel up to eating something?”

Sarah opened her eyes and took a couple of seconds to focus.

“Yeah, I think so.”

Natalie had found a set of TV trays earlier and now set one up next to the bed as Sarah gingerly pushed herself to a sitting position. “How’s the arm?” she asked as she arranged things.

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“Throbbing.”

“I’m sure.” With a quick glance at the clock, she said, “You can take another dose of the painkillers after you eat.”

“We’ll see. I may skip them if I can. I don’t like how they make me feel.”

Wanting to comment on whether they affected her judgment, but thinking better of it, Natalie went in a different direction.

“You know, you got lucky. I don’t know how much you remember about what the doctor said, but it could have been much worse.

You only had four deep wounds. The rest were superÞ cial and didn’t need stitches.” With a wink, she added, “You just bled like a stuck pig.”

“Had to protect my boy,” Sarah said simply, rufß ing Bentley’s soft head.

“I know. You were great. I’m not sure I would have thought to pick him up.”

“Karen and I made a pact when we Þ rst realized he was going to be kind of smallish. There are so many big dogs and owners who don’t have a clue. We decided if we ever thought Bentley was in danger, we’d pick him up and hop up on top of the nearest car.” She gave a little snort. “Unfortunately, nobody was driving on the grass through the park today.”

Trying to maneuver both arms well enough to eat proved to be more difÞ cult than either of them had predicted. After a few minutes of shufß ing, Natalie moved the tray away and sat on the edge of the bed with a bowl and a spoon.

“Here.” She scooped some soup and held it up. Sarah studied her for long seconds and when Natalie raised her eyebrows, opened her mouth obediently. They worked quietly and after a few bites, Natalie asked, “How’re we doing? Feel like it’s going to stay down? I’d like to be prepared if there’s going to be vomiting.” She grinned.

“So far, so good,” Sarah said. “Speaking of vomiting, why were you doing that earlier?”

Natalie focused on the soup, spooning it up, feeding it to

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Sarah. “I told you,” she said, not meeting Sarah’s eyes, feeling probed.

“I know. What did you mean by ‘raw fear’?”

Natalie shrugged. “You scared me, that’s all.”

“
I
scared you?” Sarah accepted another spoonful of soup.

“The situation scared me. You know what I mean. You just…

that dog was snarling…and you…I didn’t know how badly you were hurt, there seemed to be so much blood…I…you scared me.

And when I get really scared or stressed out…” She grimaced.

“You puke.”

“Sadly, yes.”

Sarah smiled tenderly at her. “You were grace under pressure.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that.”

“I do. You stayed calm in a crisis. Not a lot of people can do that. You…kept me from freaking out, because…
I
didn’t know how badly I might be hurt and there
did
seem to be a lot of blood and frankly, I was terriÞ ed.” She held up her good hand to forestall any more incoming soup. “Hey.” When Natalie looked her in the eye, Sarah said simply, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

Their eyes stayed locked, the energy between them almost tangible, until Sarah was surprised by a yawn that sneaked up on her. “God, haven’t I slept enough?”

“Rest is the best thing for your body right now.”

“Yes, Dr. Fox.”

Natalie stood up, feeling the strange sensation of loss as she moved away from the warmth radiating from Sarah’s body. She wanted to stay close, wanted to talk to her more, wanted to steer them to the subject of the kiss so she could Þ gure out what, if anything, to do about what had happened. But Sarah still looked so tired, and Natalie herself felt like a body crash was imminent, so she just smiled and kept it all bottled. “Get some sleep. I’ll be right outside the door. Do you mind if I watch TV in the living room?”

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“You can watch it right here,” Sarah said, her eyes pointed at the sizable TV on the dresser across the room at the same time she patted the bed next to her.

“Oh, no, Sarah. I don’t want to keep you up.”

“I sleep like a rock. I’m not going to hear anything. Besides, it’ll be easier on Bentley if he knows the herd is all in one place and he doesn’t have to pace from room to room. You’ll be more comfortable on the bed than the couch.”

Natalie watched her smile and was sure Sarah knew that by using the dog, she’d easily won the argument. With an exaggeratedly defeated sigh, she said, “All right. Let me clean some stuff up and then I’ll be in.” She took the tray with her as she left the room, calling Bentley to follow, hoping to get him to eat.

Half an hour later, after Sarah refused to take another dose of painkillers, she lay sleeping soundly on her side of the bed.

Awash in the blue light emanating from the television, Natalie sat propped against the headboard next to her, the remote in one hand, her other on Bentley as he snored lightly in between them.

The entire scene was blissfully domestic to Natalie.

And frighteningly comfortable.

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CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Sarah’s eyes popped open.

She didn’t move. She barely breathed. She just lay there, in her bed, blinking in the eerie bluish darkness created by the TV that was still on, the volume so low she could barely hear it. Her arm throbbed and she chided herself for attempting to be Ms. I Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Pain Meds. It felt like tiny, icy needles were poking at her skin, and she gritted her teeth against the sting, which only served to give her a headache to add to her collection of ills.

The dream she’d been having was ß eeting, but something about it had woken her up, scared her, or startled her enough to send her back to consciousness. The weird thing was, she felt better. Mentally. Emotionally. Her arm was killing her, true, but her brain felt almost clear, clearer than it had been in ages. As if she’d been in a fog for the past year, since Karen had fallen for Derek and Þ nally got around to telling her girlfriend, a sudden and strong wind had come through and blown the fog elsewhere, simply dissipated it without so much as a warning. It was just gone. Sarah could see again, breathe again, move again. It was a relief and it was creepy, both at the same time.

She was keenly aware of Natalie’s body next to hers in the bed and turned her head to look. Warmth radiated from where Natalie lay, despite the fact that she was curled up on her side,

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on top of the covers, as if she were cold. Her face was relaxed in slumber, her breathing deep and even, almost hypnotic. Struggling slowly and—she hoped—quietly, Sarah sat up and grasped the corner of the crocheted afghan that covered the foot of the bed.

Tugging it toward her, she gently placed it over Natalie’s sleeping form, being sure to cover all of her, wanting to keep her from shivering. The lock of colored hair seemed to hang all by itself over Natalie’s eye, and Sarah managed to reach for it and brush it tenderly away, despite the awkward angle she was forced to use with her good arm. As it was earlier when she’d watched her sleep, Sarah felt her initial categorization of Natalie as a “kid”

slipping far, far into the distance. She was nowhere near a kid.

She was a sexy, sensual woman with a kind heart and a kinder soul, and Sarah caught her breath as that thought hit her full-on, right in the face.

With the backs of her Þ ngers, she caressed Natalie’s cheek, soaking in the softness of the creamy skin, in awe of the ripe cherry color of her lips, apparent even in the dim light. She tried to focus on them as best she could when she was suddenly hit by a ß ashback…a ß ashback that caused an internal explosion, a meltdown of epic proportions as the memory slapped her with its implications.

I kissed her.

“Oh, my God.” She said the words out loud without realizing it, and Natalie’s eyes ß uttered open. She obviously struggled to concentrate on her strange surroundings, wondering for a few seconds where exactly she was. When her eyes settled on Sarah, her face showed concern.

“Sarah? Everything okay?”

“Did I kiss you?” Sarah’s voice was hoarse, the question neither accusatory nor confused. She already knew the answer.

She just wanted to hear Natalie say it.

Natalie propped her head up on her elbow and studied Sarah for a long time, so long that Sarah began to wonder if she was going to answer at all.

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“Mmm-hmm,” she Þ nally said. No elaboration, just conÞ rmation.