Finding Libbie (21 page)

As Libbie put the groceries away, she couldn’t stop her hands from trembling.
Maybe just one Valium. Just one is all I need.
She fought with her thoughts, all the while seeing the image of her mother, lying in her bed, drinking and taking pills.

You and Mother aren’t so different after all.

Libbie struggled to push that thought out of her head. Her mind raced and her heart pounded in her chest.
You and Mother aren’t so different after all.

“Shut up! Shut up!” she screamed into the quiet cottage.

The kitten ran off into the bedroom, frightened by Libbie’s screams. Tears filled Libbie’s eyes as she ran after him, remorseful for yelling. But little Spence had crawled under the bed and wouldn’t come out.

You and Mother aren’t so different after all.

Libbie couldn’t stand to listen to the voices in her head any longer. She went to her lingerie drawer and pulled out the bottle of Valium. She swallowed one pill, and then went into the kitchen and pulled the wine out of the bottom drawer of the fridge. Fumbling with the bottle, she finally opened it and poured a glass. After a long drink, she closed her eyes and relished the feel of the cool liquid running down her throat. Carrying the bottle, she walked into the living room and set it down on the coffee table. Libbie lay back against the sofa and waited for the Valium and the wine to push those awful thoughts out of her head.

You and Mother aren’t so different after all.

Hand me the damned pills!

You and Mother aren’t so different after all.

She pictured Gwen’s face and then her mother’s. They wouldn’t leave her alone.

Her heart racing, Libbie took another Valium and drank down her glass of wine. Her hand shook as she poured more wine into her glass and emptied it, too. She had to make them go away. She couldn’t bear to see their sneering faces.

You and Mother aren’t so different after all.

Libbie took another pill, lay back against the sofa, and waited to fall into the sweet release of sleep.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Jack walked through the cottage door at five thirty that evening, tired from a long day at work. His back ached from leaning over car engines all day, and his feet and legs were sore from standing on the garage’s cold cement floor. He was looking forward to a warm meal and snuggling in front of the television with Libbie.

When he entered, though, there was no aroma of food cooking, and the air was chilly. The little kitten came scurrying up to him, crying his small, pitiful cry.

“Hey, Spence. Haven’t you been fed yet?” Jack asked, picking up the kitten and cuddling it against his cheek. “Where’s your mommy?”

The little kitten cried again. Jack turned and looked over into the living room. Libbie was lying crookedly on the sofa. A wine bottle sat on the coffee table, and a glass lay on the floor, red liquid seeping onto the carpet.

Jack’s heart skipped a beat. He set the kitten down and ran over to the sofa. “Libbie? Libbie! Wake up!”

Libbie didn’t stir. Panic ran through Jack. He’d seen Libbie passed out on the sofa many times before, but never like this. It looked as if she’d just fallen down from a sitting position. He glanced over at the bottle of wine on the coffee table and picked it up. It was empty. Then he spotted the little orange pill bottle lying on its side. He frowned as he picked it up and read the label. Valium. Elizabeth Prentice.

Why is Libbie taking Valium?

Suddenly, a chill ran up his spine. The pill bottle was empty.

He stuffed the pill bottle into his coat pocket and turned back to Libbie, shaking her again. “Libbie! Libbie!” He dropped his ear to her chest and could barely hear her breathing.

She needs help. Now!

Jack grabbed the afghan off the back of the sofa and wrapped it around Libbie, then lifted her up into his arms. He had to get her to the hospital. He couldn’t wait for an ambulance. He could drive her there quicker.

He ran out the door, slamming it shut, and carefully laid Libbie on the seat of the truck. Then he ran over to the other side, hopped in, and drove off.

The hospital staff in emergency went straight to work when he carried Libbie in and said she was nonresponsive. They hurried him into a curtained cubicle, and he laid her on the bed. He saw that her lips were turning blue, and panic enveloped him.
I can’t lose her.

A nurse pulled him from the room as a doctor and other nurses worked on her.

“What happened? A fall? Did she take something?” the nurse asked him hurriedly.

Jack felt dazed. His mind was on Libbie, behind the curtain.

“Young man. What happened?” the nurse insisted.

That was when Jack remembered the pill bottle. He pulled it out of his pocket. “I found this,” he said. “And she drank a bottle of wine.”

The nurse read the label and handed it back to him. Then she rushed inside the curtained room. No sooner had she left than another woman in uniform gently took Jack by the arm and ushered him to a small waiting room down the hall. “You can wait in here,” she said kindly.

Jack walked in and dropped heavily onto a plastic chair.

What has Libbie done?

His eyes focused on a telephone on the wall across the room. A phone book lay on the table beneath it. In a daze, he walked over and picked up the book, looking up Gwen’s phone number. He didn’t want to call the Wilkenses. He couldn’t bear hearing Mrs. Wilkens’s shrill voice yelling at him right now. He decided it was best to let Gwen tell them where Libbie was.

Her phone rang three times before she picked it up. “Hello.”

“Gwen? It’s Jack. Something’s happened to Libbie.” He didn’t mince words. He wasn’t close to Gwen, but he knew she had a straightforward personality, so that was how he was going to talk to her.

“Where are you?” she asked, not missing a beat.

“The hospital. I couldn’t get her to wake up when I came home tonight. The doctor is with her now.”

“I’ll be right there,” she said, her tone flat.

“Will you please call your parents for me?” Jack asked.

“I’ll come there first.” She hung up.

Jack stood there, feeling lost. Then he remembered the little kitten, all alone in the cold cottage. He didn’t know the last names of the girls next door, so he called Clem at the resort and asked him to go to the girls’ cottage and ask them if they’d care for the kitten overnight. Clem said he’d be happy to do that and told Jack he hoped Libbie would be okay.

Then Jack called his mother. Bev answered cheerfully.

“Mom, something’s happened to Libbie. I have her at the hospital right now, and I’m waiting to hear how she is.”

“Oh my goodness,” Bev said. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“No, Mom,” Jack said. “I know you’re cooking supper right now. I just wanted to let you know. I’ll call you as soon as I know how she is.”

“But I can’t bear to think of you there, waiting all alone. I should be with you.”

“I’ll be fine, Mom. I’ll call you as soon as I know something.”

Bev agreed to wait and said to tell Libbie she loved her and hoped she’d be fine. After Jack hung up, he walked wearily over to the plastic chair and sat down. All he could do now was wait.

A few minutes later, Gwen strutted through the waiting room door like she owned the place. “What happened? Where is she? How is she doing?” She shot the questions off at Jack in rapid succession.

Jack stood. “I don’t know anything yet. She was lying on the sofa, barely breathing, and I couldn’t wake her up. I brought her here as fast as I could.”

Gwen’s lips formed a hard line and she put her hands on her hips. “Why would she be passed out? Did you hit her?”

Jack’s mouth dropped open. How could she ask him such a question? “No,” he said sharply. “She drank a bottle of wine. And I found these.” He pulled the prescription bottle out of his pocket and showed it to her.

Gwen snatched the bottle from his hand and stared at it. Then she looked up at Jack. “Do you know how many of these she took?”

“No. I was at work. I didn’t even know she had these. Do you know anything about them? How long has she been taking them?”

Gwen stared at him for a long time, and then she shook her head slowly. “You clueless boy. You honestly didn’t know that Libbie was taking Valium? My God. She’s been taking it since right before you two were married. I can’t believe she’s hidden these from you for almost a year.”

Jack was stunned. “Why? Why does she take them?”

“Oh, please. Why do you think? Libbie gets nervous, or haven’t you noticed? She was stressed over the wedding and the fact that you might get drafted. If it isn’t one thing, it’s another. She’s
sensitive
,” Gwen said snidely. “Just like our mother. She can’t face reality without booze and pills.”

Jack stared at her, trying to grasp what she was saying. He knew Libbie drank wine, but he hadn’t thought too much about it. Sure, she was worried often, but she’d had good reason to be worried. First there was the wedding, then the draft, and then her accident. She’d just had a lot on her mind. He’d never really thought of it as a problem before. But now . . .

Gwen snorted and caught his attention. “You’re thinking it all over, aren’t you? How many times did you come home to her passed out on the sofa? Huh? Did you really believe it was just the wine that did that? She’s been taking Valium all along, but this time she must have taken one too many along with the alcohol.” She stared him straight in the eye. “Is there any reason you can think of why she’d want to overdose?”

Overdose? Oh my God. Is that what Libbie has done? Why?

The room suddenly felt small and airless. Jack turned away from Gwen and walked over to the window. This was more than he could handle. He had to think it through. Behind him, he heard Gwen calling her father to tell him about Libbie. Her voice was hushed, and he paid no attention to what she was saying.

She’s sensitive. Just like our mother,
Gwen had said. Jack tried to understand what she’d meant by that. Libbie did worry. She upset easily. But was that a bad thing? Was she so upset all the time that she needed to take Valium and drink herself into a stupor? Why?

He remembered the conversation he’d had with Larry about the rumor that Libbie’s mother drank and took pills. He hadn’t taken it too seriously then. Small-town gossip wasn’t always reliable. But now he couldn’t ignore it, because it was affecting Libbie.

A tap on the shoulder brought him around to look into Gwen’s cold eyes. “My father is coming over but I have to leave. Mother’s having one of her
episodes
, so she can’t be left alone.” With that, she turned and left.

Jack’s eyes followed her out the door. He couldn’t believe that Libbie and Gwen were sisters. Libbie was so sweet and kind-hearted, while Gwen had ice water running through her veins.

Drawing a deep breath, Jack sat down again and waited. He pushed aside his thoughts about Libbie having a problem with drugs and alcohol. He didn’t want to assume the worst. He’d wait until he could talk to her about it.

Randall walked into the room half an hour later looking worried and tired. There were dark circles under his eyes and he was pale. He tried to smile, but it was a feeble attempt.

“Have you heard anything yet?” he asked.

Jack shook his head, and Randall sighed heavily as he sat down beside him. He looked like a man who held the weight of the world on his shoulders.

“She’ll be fine,” Randall said softly.

Jack nodded, but after so much time, he was worried. He hoped Mr. Wilkens was right.

A doctor finally came into the room with news about Libbie. He was an older man, short and stout, wearing the requisite white lab coat. Both Jack and Randall stood, anxious to hear how Libbie was.

“She’s resting quietly now,” the doctor said. “We pumped her stomach to make sure no more of the pills or alcohol went through her bloodstream. Since we were unsure of how many Valium she’d taken, we wanted to be safe. Her breathing and blood pressure are both back to normal now.” He turned his attention to Jack. “It’s a good thing you brought her in, son. I’m afraid any longer and she might have died.”

A chill ran down Jack’s spine. What if he hadn’t brought her in? Thank God he had.

“We’d like to keep her here a couple of days. I’ll be contacting her regular physician, so he is aware of the situation. While I’m sure it was an accidental overdose, I’d still like to speak with her about what happened.”

“What do you mean?” Jack asked.

The doctor cleared his throat. “I’d liked to make sure her mental state is stable. If she is having other problems, or if this wasn’t accidental, then she may need other treatment.”

“You think she tried to kill herself?” Jack asked, stunned.

Randall placed a hand on Jack’s shoulder. “Of course she didn’t,” he said confidently.

The doctor glanced from Randall to Jack before speaking again. “As I said, I’m sure it’s an accident. It happens. Sometimes patients forget that they’ve taken a pill and may take another one. I just want to make sure she’s fine before she goes home.”

Jack stood silent. He was processing the idea that Libbie might have tried to hurt herself. Randall placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder while he talked to the doctor. Randall was so calm about it all that it was as if he handled this type of situation all the time.

Jack finally found his voice. “Can I see Libbie?”

The doctor shook his head. “She’s sleeping now, son. I think you should go home and get some rest. You can certainly see her tomorrow.” With that, he turned and left the room.

Jack turned to Randall. “Do you think Libbie overdosed on purpose?”

“No, I don’t,” Randall insisted gently. “Our Libbie is a strong girl. She has everything to live for. I’m certain it was an accident.”

“I don’t understand,” Jack said, running his hand through his hair and walking across the room. “I didn’t even know Libbie took these pills. Why does she need them? Isn’t she happy married to me?”

Randall followed Jack and sat in one of the hard chairs. “Sit down a moment, Jack,” he said.

Jack did and looked over at Randall.

“Libbie’s a bright, sweet girl,” Randall said. “But you have to understand. The Wilkens women are sensitive, delicate women. Libbie has always been tenderhearted, so it doesn’t surprise me that she may be a little upset or anxious at times. You have to be patient and extra gentle with her. If she needs to take a pill every now and again to calm her nerves or get a good night’s sleep, then there’s nothing wrong with that.”

Jack tried to understand, but it was hard. It didn’t make sense. The Libbie he’d known in high school was strong and self-assured. Why had she changed so much over the past two years?

“Women are delicate creatures, Jack. I know today there’s all that talk about women being equal to men, but the truth is, they need us to watch over them. Believe me; you’ll learn to deal with it.” Randall stood, but he looked weary, as if he could barely hold up his own weight. His shoulders slumped. “I have to go home so I can let Gwen get back to her family. Think about what I said, son. And please tell Libbie I was here and that I’ll come see her as soon as possible.”

Jack nodded and watched as Randall left the room. Once again, he was left all alone in the hospital, waiting for Libbie.

There was a tattered sofa at the other end of the room and an old television hanging in the corner. No one else was in the waiting room, so he went and lay down on the sofa. He was completely drained yet so worried about Libbie. He couldn’t leave the hospital knowing that Libbie had once again almost lost her life. He’d stay here all night, like he had when she’d had her accident, and wait to see her first thing in the morning.