Finding Love (A Mill Creek Crossing Romance) (12 page)

“You already do. You said so today.”

“I take it back,” she said through a sob that overtook her body. She leaned over and cupped her face in her hands as she cried uncontrollably. “I almost lost him, Clay. Every time I start to get happy, I lose someone…”

“No, honey. Is that what you think?” he said as he sat beside her and pulled her head into his chest.

“It’s true… Mom, Tate, Ian…”

“You didn’t lose Ian. He’s going to be fine.”

“I know, but maybe the Universe is saying I don’t deserve love. As long as I stay alone, everyone will be safe.”

“You can’t be serious,” Clay said pulling her back to look at him. “Oh, my God. You are serious.”

“I am. Every time something good happens in my life, the other shoe drops. I can’t live in constant fear of what bad thing will happen to me next.”

“You’re right. You can’t. Life happens, Amelia. People die. People cheat. People lie. People betray you. And it doesn’t matter if you have twenty boyfriends or sit in your house alone like an old maid for the rest of your life - because life will still go on. The question is do you want to have support there when life happens? Do you want to build wonderful memories that will last you a lifetime or do you want only the memories of sitting alone wondering what might have been?”

“Of course I don’t want to be alone, but…”

“Listen. Take it from me. I lost my wife, but I wouldn’t trade our time together for anything in the world because I have wonderful memories of Molly. No one can ever take those from me. I watched her take her last breath, Amelia, and I didn’t regret being with her. Do you understand?”

Amelia sat there for a moment taking in his words. She knew he was right. Being alone and shutting down wasn’t going to keep hurt from getting to her. It was just going to let fear win, and she didn’t like to let anything get the better of her.

“You’re right. I’m so sorry I ran away like that. You must think I’m a complete fool.”

“No. I think you are the most amazing woman I know, and you love hard. But please don’t run from us, Amelia, because losing you really would break my heart. One of us will pass away from this world one day, but that isn’t what would break my heart the most. My heart would only break if you walked away willingly and deprived both of us of a lifetime of love.”

“I love you, Clay,” she whispered as he leaned in to kiss her softly.

“I love you too, Amelia,” he said.

Christmas was Amelia’s favorite time of the year. The sights, sounds and smells of the holidays made her smile, and she was looking forward to this Christmas more than any other. With her brother, Ian, at home for the holidays and her sister and niece living with her, Amelia felt good having a family to surround her again. Now, she had the added benefit of Clay and his kids who she loved like they were her own.

“How are those cookies coming?” she asked Riley and Sophia as they decorated sugar cookies on her kitchen counter.

“Good. Look at this snowman I made!” Sophia yelled back, holding up a cookie she’d doused with so much icing it was dropping on the floor. Amelia didn’t care about the mess.

“Having fun?” Clay asked from behind her as he slipped his arms around her waist and buried his mouth in the crook of her neck.

“Tons of fun. I love watching them. Kids are so innocent.”

“I love watching you with them,” he said as he hugged her closer. “When Molly died, I worried my kids wouldn’t have the female guidance they needed. Little did I know that I would move across the country, give up my career and find a woman who would surround my children like you and Gracie and even Christy. I am truly blessed.”

“Aww… That means more to me than you will ever know,” she said as she turned around and put her hands around his neck. “You know, I gave you quite a problem early on when it came to keeping your kids.”

“Yes, I know. Thanks a lot for that added stress, by the way,” he said with a laugh as he kissed her nose.

“Sorry. I just thought I wanted this big life with a career because everyone said that’s what I should do. Get on with my life. But my life was happiest when I was taking care of kids, and when the kids were gone I was lost. And then you found me.”

“I found you,” Clay said kissing her neck.

“And you showed me something I didn’t even know I wanted or needed.”

“What is that?”

“A bigger family. More kids. More love.”

“Are you saying you want to have kids with me, Amelia Devin?”

“Maybe one day,” she said with a sly smile.

“Sorry. I can’t do that.”

“You can’t?” she said with the smile falling off her face.

“Not until you marry me.” Clay grinned at her.

“Marry you?”

“When you are ready to say yes, I will buy you a ring, but I know better than to spring anything on you.”
 

“You would marry me?” she asked, incredulous.

“Of course, my love. I’m here forever, whether we’re married or not. You are all I need and all I want. Say the word, and I will meet you at the church on time.”

“Okay,” she said looking at him.

“Okay what?”

“I will marry you, Clay Barnes. Anytime you want,” she said.

“Are you serious? Just like that?”

“A woman knows when she’s got a good thing, and we both know life is short. So, let’s do it. Let’s get married!” she said grinning from ear to ear.

“Shhh… Don’t let he kids hear you,” Clay said through gritted, yet smiling, teeth. “We might need to break it to them a little easier…”

“You’re getting married?” Sophia said from below them.

“Uh oh. Sorry…” Amelia whispered.

“Well, sweetie, we were kind of thinking about it…” Clay said. Sophia and Riley stood there with stone faces for a moment before breaking out into hysterical laughter and jumping up and down.

“Yay! Amelia can live with us!” Sophia said as she ran around the kitchen. “Can I be the flower girl?”

“Of course you can, sweetheart. I wouldn’t want any other flower girl,” Amelia said kneeling down in front of the kids. “Are you guys okay with me being married to your Daddy? I don’t want you to ever think that I am trying to replace your Mommy because she will always live in your hearts.”

“We love our Mommy, but she’s in heaven, Miss Amelia. She’s an angel, and she had to send a woman perfect for our Daddy to make sure we were okay and he was okay. I bet she’s jumping up and down right now too,” Riley said as he smiled and then hugged Amelia.

Amelia fought back tears as she stood up and looked at Clay. He shook his head. “I didn’t tell them that. They came up with it on their own.”

“They are amazing, just like their father.”

“Amelia Devin?”

“Yes?”

“Will you do me the honor of being my wife?”

“Um… let me think about it… Yes!” she said as Clay picked her up and swung her in a circle, much to the delight of the kids.

THE END