Finding My Pack (30 page)

  I shut down those useless thoughts. I don't know what's come over me, making me have such dark thoughts about myself, making me jealous of Kaitlynn. Oh! That's what this feeling is, jealousy. Damn Jace and his bastard self, making me feel things I don't want.

  I bring my focus back to the present, back to Mikey. He isn't enjoying the free skate like he usually does. He looks so sad and it tears me up inside. I skate over to him.

  "Hey there Mikey, want to pretend we're at the Olympics and you're my partner?" I smile at him. Hoping he says yes, I don't want to be rejected by Mikey today too.

  "I'm not good enough. I'd just make you fall." He says while looking down at the ground.

  "Maybe, but did you see her out there? I think she has enough skill for the both of you. Besides, you should never turn a pretty lady down, young Sir." I stiffen when I realize Jace just spoke from behind me.

  "Yeah Mikey, Jace here never says no to anyone. You don't want to be like him though, being picky has its virtues." I instantly regret my snotty tone. Not because of Jace, but because I said that to the little boy.

  "I'm sorry Mikey, don't listen to me, I'm just a stupid girl. I have to talk to my friend here, then I'll come find you. Okay?"

  To my utter surprise, Mikey takes a step in front of me, facing off with Jace, who is about four feet taller than him. He squares his little shoulders, and tilts his head back, meeting Jace's eyes. "You better not be mean to Kitten, she's my friend and she doesn't need any more boys being mean to her. If you say bad things like the other boy, I'll tell on you and you'll get in trouble."

  I feel tears prick my eyes. Little Mikey is standing up for me. I'm glad it's Jace and not Adam though, Jace won't hurt him, I'm not sure what Adam would do. Jace's eyes widen and he looks taken aback. He eventually comes out of his shock and kneels to Mikey's height.

"I wouldn't dream of being mean to your friend young Sir, in fact, I was hoping she would be my friend too. The thing is, I don't think she wants to be." He says, speaking to Mikey likes he's an adult.

  Mikey looks back at me with raised eyebrows, then back to Jace. "Why not? Did you pick on her like Adam did?"

  Jace shakes his head. "No, nothing like that. You see, I think your friend here, thinks I thought another girl was prettier than her. Every girl wants to think they are the prettiest and they get mad at us boys when we give other girls attention." He explains.

  My face is on fire, he just called me out, point blank. And he did it in a sneaky way, using my favorite kid against me. He's smarter than I gave him credit for. If I deny it, I will be lying in front of the boy. He knows I won't do that. Sneaky, sneaky, bastard.

  Mikey looks back at me once more, stepping to my side, looking for the world like I have two heads. Turning back to Jace he says. "That's stupid. She's the prettiest girl that I ever met." To me he says. "You're pretty Kitten, you should be his friend, someone not thinking you look nice is not a reason not to be their friend anyway."

  I can't help myself, I bear hug him, picking him up off his feet. "You are so sweet Mikey. Thank you for saying that. I told you I was a stupid girl." He squirms so I put him down, steadying him. He blushes, running his hands over his clothes, probably trying to look cool in front of Jace.

  "Girls are weird." He stage whispers. He has to know that I heard him, right? I smirk. I am being weird today.

"Truer words have never been spoken, my friend," Jace says once standing. "What do you say I go get some of those fancy skates like you and we let the weird girl teach us how not to fall?" Mikey nods his head eagerly. Looks like Jace made a friend after all.

  I pull Mikey around the rink until Jace returns. Once he's on the ice, he makes a big show of falling down. Even though he faked it, I still take a small amount of pleasure seeing him on his butt. It only takes me a few minutes of 'teaching' Jace to tell that he's pretty good at this. Either way, he falls every time Mikey does. I let them the two of them have their boy talk as I look on, only interrupting to instruct every now and again. Eventually, Jace says he's tired, on Mikey's behalf I'm sure. We step off the ice, taking a seat on the closest bench.

  "You're a way better skater than me, Big Mike, you'll be as good as Kitten in no time," Jace tells him, removing his skates.

  "I don't want to be an ice dancer, I want to play hockey," Mikey replies defensively.

  "Oh really, are you in the league here then?"

  Mikey shakes his head sadly. "No, I could never get my Dad to sign me up. And my new foster parents don't have the money." He looks down, ashamed for no good friggin reason.

  As I'm about to explain to the boy that not having money is not a big deal in life, Jace beats me to it. Sort of. "But someone brings you here to skate, who does that?"

  "I usually come with the rec center, I lucked out today cause Miss Stratford doesn't like to keep an eye on us and this is a cheap way to get us out of her hair."

Jace frowns. 'Who's that?"

"The lady that watches foster kids while the foster parents work." Mikey shrugs.

I see Jace's mind working a mile a minute. What is he up to? "Do you still get to go to the rec center?" He asks the boy. Mikey nods. Jace smiles smugly. "Then don't worry about a thing friend. I'm sure one day you will get to play hockey."

  I want to slap the look right off his face. Or maybe just slap his face. He should not be making promises to any of these kids. He doesn't even know what he's talking about. I stand, calling an end to the session. I tell Mikey to go get his shoes on before Jace can open his big mouth again.

  "I can tell that I did something else to upset you Kitten, care to explain this one? The jealousy was obvious, but I haven't a clue this time." His haughty tone is back and it only makes me want to slap him harder.

  "Why did you say that to Mikey? The rec center doesn't have a league Jace, Mikey will probably end up back with his Dad, it's how that stupid system works. They upset the kid's life as a threat to the parents, the parents say sorry, and they send their kids back to them. Even if you could give money to his new foster parents like I think you want to, there's no telling if they'll use it to let him play. And what if they do? What will happen when he goes back to his father Jace? Then you've given him something that he gets ripped away from him. How FRIGGIN dare you!"

  I'm panting by the time I'm done ranting at him. I'm not only upset because of his small mistake of giving a kid hope for something he can't have, but I'm mad at myself too. I've been admiring Jace for over an hour. The way he was with Mikey tugged at my heartstrings. I had no idea he'd be so great around kids. I even had an unrealistic thought that he'd make a great father one day. Then he says what he did and it all crashes down. I should have known better.

  "If you are quite done verbally assaulting me, both out loud and in your head. I have a question I need you to answer." His smirk is still in place. It's grown if that's even possible.

  "What?" I snap.

  "Do you know which rec center Big Mike attends?" He asks slowly.

  "Uh...yeah. The same one I do. Why?" I ask.

  "Well, it seems to me that he attends the rec center regardless if he's at his foster home or with his father. So if the rec center was to start a hockey program at, let's say, here. Then our little friend would, in fact, get to play hockey. Which would mean that I did not lie to him, or make promises I do not intend to keep. Which.....would make your anger at me pointless." He shrugs his shoulders.

  I make a face at him. "I told you, they don't have a program."

  "That's because they more than likely, don't have the funding. If they received the funding, they'd probably have the program. Don't you think Miss Kitten?"

  I blink at him. Is he saying what I think he's saying? "Do you mean..."

  He chuckles. "Yes my Dearest Kitten, I mean to fund a hockey program at this rec center. If it wouldn't displease you, I'd like you to escort me there one evening. If I'm to stop spending money on myself, I might as well spend it on those kids you feel so protective over."

I'm still blinking. "I-I just assumed..."

  "You assumed the worst in me." He runs a hand through his hair again. "I get it, I haven't given you much reason to think differently. I told you I'd prove myself to you, Kitten.

  "You shouldn't do it because of me, It'll be something that takes effort and you can't just drop it once..."

  "I'm not doing it for you. It might be your rec center, but that's the only connection. I know exactly what it will take Kitten, it might surprise you to know that I'm on several committees that reach out and give back, as well as head of my own charity for medical research."

"Oh." Is my brilliant response. How could I have missed all of that about him? I guess it was because I wasn't looking. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

He shakes his head, taking my hand and leading me out of the arena. "You don't have to be sorry, we got off to a bad start and then avoided each other. That's why we need a fresh start Kitten, no more assuming, from either of us. Deal?"

"Deal," I say. I jumped to conclusions when I shouldn't have. He doesn't fault me for it though. He's definitely a better man than I gave him credit for.

As we reach the doors leading outside, he stops me. "And about that girl earlier..." My face goes hot again. "I am more than flattered that you were jealous, but you have no reason to be. I'm aware of who that girl is to you. I was just....setting her up a little."

  The evil looking smirk on his face worries me, but the mischievous glint in his eye just makes me curious. "For what?" I ask as we exit the building.

  "This..." He whispers. One second I'm walking and the next, Jace has me pressed into the brick, his lips on my neck as his hand pulls one of my thighs around his hips.

  "Jace..." I say, shocked and a little breathy.

  "That's right baby, say my name." Holy crap! What's happening here? Why is he moaning?

"You've
got
to be kidding me?
Her
! The trash?" Comes a shriek that I know is Kaitlynn.

"Damn straight. This is Kitten, my girlfriend, and she's not trash. She's the hottest fucking girl I've ever had. You could learn a thing or two from her." Jace sneers at her.

  I catch the hurt look in Kaitlynn's eyes before Jace pulls me away. I know I should feel bad but, THAT WAS FRIGGIN AWESOME! I put my hand around Jace's waist, hugging him to me as we walk to the car.

  "I'm sorry I doubted you earlier, thank you for that. It shouldn't, but that felt really, really good." I giggle.

  "Not a problem, she deserved it. Don't feel bad baby. And now you get to drive off in my flashy car, with the hottest guy on the planet." He does an impression of a high pitched girl at the end, causing me to laugh heartily. My golden boy came through for me again. I guess he is kinda amazing.

B
efore I knew it, it was Friday, the day I had been looking forward to. Reed had mentioned to the others that I invited them to come watch me skate and they turned it into a huge deal. I explained that I'm not pro level good, but they are acting like it's some big event. I've never been so excited or nervous to skate in my life. Tristan and Remy filled me up on sausage gravy and biscuits this morning that were to die for. They said the rest of the guys were going to meet us there and they had things to do.

  It seems like I rarely see more than two of them at any given time lately. We all eat dinner together, but it's become a rushed affair. I don't know what changed, but something definitely has. I haven't hung out with Jace since he took me to work a few days ago, and I wonder if he changed his mind about being friends. This morning was the first time I've even seen Remy other than dinner, and even then, he didn't say much. I get time with Reed and Finn though. I've been meeting Reed for yoba sessions and Finn for studying. Sometimes Tristan or Kellan will stop by for story time, so there's that too.

  I sigh and let out a breath. Something is up and I wish they'd just tell me. I finish stretching out my limbs and go warm up on the ice. Remy and Tristan are still waiting for the others in the lobby. I hope Logan gets here soon since he has the music I'll be skating to. I loved the song he played me on my first day back here and I've been mentally timing my moves to it.

  As I take a last lap around the rink, I see the double doors open and several people walk in. Logan's blue streak shines in the overhead lighting and I skate over to him. Behind him I see Remy, Tristan, Kellan and Finn too. They walk over to the bench seats and find a good spot as I meet Logan at the ice entrance.

  "Do you think you could play that song for me? The one from the other day?" I ask him.

  He flicks his head to the side, shifting his hair, making my eyes follow the blue streak. Does he know how distracting that is? Every time it moves, I want to follow it. "Sure, anything for our big star," He says as he kisses my temple and heads to the music booth.

  I watch him mess around in there until I see the doors open again, and Ash and Reed come in. Shortly after they take seats, Miss Annie and another employee here, Rob, I think his name is come in as well. Huh, I didn't know Miss Annie was going to watch me today. She sees me out here enough already, nothing I do will be new to her. A few minutes later Jace strolls in, in all his golden glory. Dang that boy is attractive. It's a real shame he knows it.

  I'm brought out of those thoughts as I hear a stampede of footsteps right before Mikey steps around Jace, leading a pack of running kids.

  "Mikey!" I shout out to him, meeting him half way. "What are you doing here, kiddo?" I ruffle his hair and he huffs at me, putting it back in place.

  "My friend Jace brought us. He came to the rec center and asked if I wanted to see your big show." He says excitedly.

  Now it's my turn to huff. It's not a big show. "That's right, I did, but some of the other kids heard and wanted to come too. You're quite popular over at that place." Jace says, walking up to us.

  He kisses my temple, making Mikey make a face and scurry off with the other kids. "How did you get them all here?" I ask. His car only has two seats.

  "Turns out, the mere mention of your name in that place turns minds to mush and reservations flee. One of the men who works there gave me the keys to a van and we loaded them up. Remind me never to do that again, kids are downright rotten in confined spaces." I giggle as I hug him.

  "You are all being so silly about this," I tell him.

  "Nonsense. Now, I told that man that you'd give him a call, let him know that the kids are, in fact, with you." He takes his phone out, handing it to me. I stare at it for a while before looking back up at him. "Oh, right." He takes it back, pushing at the screen then hands it back. He lifts it up to my ear and tells me that I talk into it.

  I laugh as I hear ringing. "I know that much. I've seen phones and seen people on them. I've even used the ones at the rec center, just not the cordless kinds."

  A man's voice comes through on the phone so I don't hear Jace's reply. "Hi, is this Harold? Yes, it's me, Kitten....Yes, the kids are here at the rink with me....Okay, yes that's fine.... I will. Thank you." I hand it back to Jace since I have no idea how to hang up.

   "I still have no idea how you managed this, but thank you, Jace." I hug him again. Even if it isn't as fun as the kids thought it would be, at least Mikey got more time with his new friend.

  "Just because you are immune to my charm, does not mean that everyone else is." He winks at me and goes to take a seat. Oh, if only I was Jace...if only I was.

  I see Miss Annie and Rob come back in, carrying juice bottles and wrapped up hot dogs. She's so nice to have gotten them for the kids. I'll be sure to thank her later. I laugh when I see Logan take a seat next the kids and hold his hand out to Miss Annie. She rolls her eyes and hands him a juice and hot dog. Oh, how I love my crazy boy.

  The intro to the song starts and I take my place at the center of the ice. How Logan got it to play when he wasn't over there was interesting, I'll ask him about it another time.

  I go through my routine, using as much of the ice as possible. I hear hoots and clapping when I stick my jumps and Ash shouts "Be fucking careful!" when I zip past them, gaining speed for my triple axel. I land it and after another toe-touch, I finish in the center again. My smile can't be contained as the whole group throws roses onto the ice. Or well, most of them, the kids can't seem to make them over the wall. I giggle and take a bow. I can't believe they went through so much trouble for a four and a half minute routine.

  I skate to the opening and am greeted with hugs from the kids then a pat on the cheek from Miss Annie, followed up by big bear hugs from the guys. Remy is last and he looks at me proudly.

  "You could do this professionally if you wanted to Kitten, you were very good out there," He tells me. I blush and tell him thank you. I know he's only saying that because he's never seen a real pro but still, it's nice to hear.

  "Where did all the flowers come from? I didn't see anyone bring them in?" I ask him.

  "Logan arranged a delivery last night, and Miss Annie was kind enough to place them behind the benches before we arrived. Nice touch yes?" Remy's eyebrow shift up. Is he seeking approval?

  "Oh yes! Very nice touch. You guys always find ways to make me feel special." I say sincerely.

  "Kitten! Kitten!" I hear Mikey calling me. I turn to see what he's so excited about. "Here, we made you these. Mine's first since it was MY idea." He tells me proudly, doing a surprisingly good impression of Jace's smug smile.

  I take the folded pieces of construction paper. The first one is blue with 'Happy Birthday' scribbled in white crayon. I unfold it to read what it says. "Don't read that out loud!" Mikey says in a panic.

  "Okay, I won't," I tell him. Was I supposed to if he didn't add that? The card reads:

   Deer Kitten,

                                                                         Thank u for being my friend. U are a good skater. I hope I am as good as u  one day. u are pretty. i like when u play basketball with me even though u are not good at it. dont tell anyone but i like your hugs too. sometimes i wish u were  my MOM or my big Sister. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

                                                                                                      love BIG MIKE

P.S. u can still call me MIKEY just not in front of JACE

P.P.S U is the priettiest girl



    At the bottom is a picture of three stick people. One is really tall and two of them are shorter. I think the one with crazy hair is me. I feel the tears on my face and wipe them away before looking at Mikey. He looks uncomfortable, shifting from foot to foot. A frown on his cute little face.

  "You don't like it?" He asks.

  I smile widely at him, hugging him hard. "I love it, Mikey. It's my first birthday picture ever. It's perfect."

  "You've never had a birthday card?" His horrified expression is priceless. I shake my head at him.

  "That's sad Kitten. Here, let me show you." He takes the card back and points at the picture. "That's you with your long hair. There's me in the middle and Jace. I think I made him too tall, though." He frowns at his work.

  "No way, it's just perfect. Thank you for the card and the picture Mikey, but who told you it was my birthday?"

  "Jace," He answers simply. Like Jace's word is law and that's the way it is.

  I seek out Jace, standing behind the group of kids. "Happy birthday Kitten. I explained that it was your birthday today and Big Mike here, ordered everyone to make you a card. That's why we were running a little late. I see that it was worth it, though. Good call Big Mike." He says the last part as he high fives Mikey.

  I look at the rest of my cards, smiling and shaking my head at the adorable pictures and kind words they gave me. There's one covered in glitter that simply read: Your A, and then there's more glitter in the shape of a star. I look up as Miss Annie makes her way to me.

   "Happy birthday Kitten, ma dearest girl, ta think you're all done growed up." She shakes her head. "I gotta git back, but you have fun taday girl." She walks off as Rob gives me an awkward hug, to the sound of many growls. He blushes and trails after Miss Annie.

  I look at all of them. "This has been the best birthday ever, thank you guys so much," I say honestly. They said it's my birthday, so I just go with it. I've never had one and these cards are a great gift.

  "You really think it's over?" Logan gasps in mock horror. "With me as the party planner, you think this is the best I've got?" He shakes his head at me. Are there more cards?

  "Come on, I think it's time we got these kids back. What do you say, Kitten? You and I ride in the van with Jace and the kids?" I nod my head vigorously. Yes, let's annoy Jace with the kids.

  I change out of my skates and take them to my locker as the guys get the kids loaded back up and go to their own vehicles. I pass Adam on the way out, but he doesn't say anything, only stares at me. I rush out of there and hop in the van that is more of a small white bus. Jace is telling the kids to sit down, but no one is listening. I giggle at the sight. They ARE crazy in here.

  "HEY! Listen up! Sit down or you don't get any cake!" Mikey shouts. The other kids quiet and take their seats. I sit, shocked as he takes his own seat, next to me across the aisle. Commanding little thing isn't he? Maybe he'd get along with Remy too. I never expected that out of the shy boy. Maybe being around Jace really has had a positive effect on him.

  The kids teach me a game called 'I spy' on our way to the rec center. You have to say 'I spy something' then you name a color. I'm apparently horrible at this because I keep picking things we've already passed. It's not my fault they didn't specify that the object you named had to be IN the van.

  It's one of the little girls' turn and she says. "I spy something pretty."

  "Shhh. There are other girls around, you can't say something is prettier than them in front of them." Says the boy sitting next to Mikey, who looks at him for approval.

  "No doofus that only applies to us menfolk. And it's 'you can't say a girl is pretty in front of another girl. Right Jace?" He rolls his eyes at his friend as he asks Jace in the driver's chair in front of me.

  "Correct, young Sir."

  Logan cracks up laughing next to me. "You taught him that? God that's funny." He leans around me to look at Mikey and his friend. "You should also know that when a girl says something is pretty, you always agree, even if it's butt faced ugly." The three of them roll around laughing as we pull up to the rec center.