Finding North (18 page)

“That’s because aside from Rooster and Tommo I’m the only unmarried man in town. Everyone else is taken, illegal or—”

“A fucking poofter.”

Anger wells within the pit of my stomach. I wanna put that old bastard on his arse, but I can’t, because I know he’s baiting me. Everything he’s said from the second he sat down has been to provoke me, and I can do nothing but shovel food in my mouth so I won’t grind my teeth into dust.

“Lucky me, huh?” I say, when I finish chewing a bit of cold pasta.

“Just make sure it stays that way,” he says. “You fuck as much pussy as is on offer. Don’t get roped into settling down; bitches will only take all your time and money, and then after the wedding they want a house, and then they start moaning on about a family.” Through all this he raises his voice, because the misogynistic bastard never had a problem telling the world where he thinks a woman’s place should be, and unsurprisingly the lunchroom is filled with a chorus of gruff voices agreeing with the dipshit.

“You know, if it weren’t for your mother beggin’ me all the fucking time we never would have had you,” he says, polishing off the remainder of his ginger beer and crushing the can on the table. He didn’t even meet my eyes as he said it.

Anyone else would be reeling from that revelation, but for me this isn’t news. He made sure to tell me every day from the time I was old enough to understand what that meant, and when he’d had too much drink in his guts and couldn’t say it verbally, he showed me how much he cared with his fists.

My greatest fear from the time I was old enough to understand the attraction between me and Will was that one day he’d show Will too, and I’d lose the first person I ever loved because of it. It’s still my fear.

“Yeah, I know,” I say, standing, because if I don’t get out of here I’ll likely punch the fucker’s head in, and I can’t afford to lose my job. “You’ve told me every day since my mother killed herself. You ever stop and wonder why she did that?”

“You on the fucking rag or somethin’, boy?” he asks. I just shake my head and pack up the remainder of my lunch. I lost my appetite the second he sat down beside me.

“No,
Dad
.” I emphasise that last word, because this man has never been a father to me. The only good thing he ever did was teach me how to throw a punch, and sadly, how to deflect one from an opponent three times your size. “I’m just sick of the bullshit. We’re both adults now; let’s save ourselves a shitload of time and not pretend anymore.”

“Pretend what, Son?”

“Don’t ‘son’ me. You’ve never been a father to me. You know who my father was? Trevor Tanner. That’s right, the fucking fairy’s dad,” I spit. Dad stands now too, his cold, dead eyes dilated, but they don’t show rage or passion or fear. They’re just a void of emptiness, soullessness. “You know who took me in and fed me when you were so busy planting your fat, lazy arse on a bar stool instead of coming home and making sure I had food and had done my homework? Trev, that’s who. He was more a father to me than anyone, and you took that away from me.”

My father opens his mouth, but Smithy wedges himself between the two of us and says, “Alright, fellas, time out.”

I’m pretty sure this is the only place in Smithy’s life where he gets to assert himself, and he takes that responsibility very seriously. At the mill, Smithy’s word is law, even if he is a giant pussy outside of the steelworks.

With one last glower in my dad’s direction, I stalk over to my locker and deposit my stuff in it before slamming it closed.

“You just remember what’s important to you, Son,” Dad calls out as I leave the break room. “You remember what could all be taken away if you’re not fucking careful.”

I turn back, about to beat his fucking head in, but I run smack-bang into Smithy. “Keep walking, kid,” he says, placing his hand on the centre of my chest and pushing me back several paces out into the hall. He closes the door firmly behind him, shutting out the hollers from my co-workers. “Listen, I know Tam’s accident has you a little on edge this week, so maybe you oughta take the rest of the day off. Get down to the beach—clear your head. Fucking go get laid, brother, just sort your shit out, ’cause I don’t need anyone losing their heads, and this company can’t afford you losing a finger to the welding machine. Okay?”

“Yeah, okay.” I nod, trying not to appear as rattled as I feel.

“Alright then, we’ll see you back here early tomorrow.”

On the drive home, I can’t get Dad’s words outta my head. I can’t get Will outta my head. I drive past the Reef and keep going, because what the hell else am I supposed to do?

When I get home, Tammy isn’t there. I’m relieved. She’d mentioned something this morning about visiting her friend Layla after work, and her shift at the restaurant isn’t over yet, so I know I have a few more hours before her little Mazda three pulls in the drive.

I change out of my uniform and into a pair of boardies and contemplate a swim in the ocean while chugging back a beer, but I’m too tired to swim. It feels like I’ve been fighting the current for a lifetime, and I don’t want to risk going out into the water because I’m not sure I give enough of a shit to keep my head above it anymore. Instead, I sit out on the deck and watch the sea below. This house cost me a fucking fortune, but I don’t care if I have to work for it until the day I keel over—it’s home, it’s my sanctuary. Or at least it was, before Will.

The beefy roar of an engine pulls in the drive. I can’t see it from here, but that’s a sound I’d know anywhere.
Speak of the devil and he shall appear
. The engine shuts off, a door creaks on its hinges as it opens and shuts, and moments later he comes marching through my kitchen and lounge room and out onto the back patio. Will never worried about boundaries, or etiquette for that matter, so I’m not surprised he walked through my house uninvited.

“Hey,” he says, sitting in the seat beside me.

“Hey yourself.”

“I saw you drive past,” he mutters. “Couldn’t help but notice you didn’t come in.”

I glare at him. “You told me not to set foot in your bar again.”

He puffs out his cheeks and exhales loudly. “Yeah, well, I’m a jackarse, and I should have let you explain things.”

“You think?”

He gives me an unhappy smile and says, “This situation’s just all fucked up, you know?”

“What’s new though, right?”

“So is she here?” he asks, glancing around, though I know he already knows the answer.

“No, and you’d better thank Christ for that little blessing, or she’d be running you out of the house wielding fucking cooking supplies, or stationery or some shit. I don’t know what the fuck she’s into.”

“Yet you’re living with her?”

I shrug. “I didn’t want her to move in; we weren’t even fucking together.”

“You weren’t fucking, or you weren’t together?” he says. “Because those are two very different things, North.”

“We were fucking. I don’t know, we’d kinda stopped, and she was all over this other guy from Whitebridge, and I thought we were done, and then she starts crying and tells me that she has nowhere to live.”

Will shakes his head, but he grins his typical smartarse grin. “Jesus, you’re a douche.”

I turn my palms up in the universal gesture for
what the fuck?
“I didn’t know what the hell else to do.”

“I have to know,” Will says, his expression turning serious. “Did you fuck her when we were together?”

“No,” I say, and then I frown. “I fucked her the night you rejected me.”

“What?” he snaps.

“Or I tried to. I’d been thinking of someone else,” I say, giving him a pointed look. “And I stuck my finger in her arse.”

He clears his throat. “Did she like it?”

“Dude, she beat the shit out of me and then she ran away crying.” I smile, trying to fight my laughter. Will chortles, throwing his head back and clutching his stomach. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever fucking seen. He begins taunting me with Georgie Porgie, a children’s nursery rhyme about a fat kid who kisses girls and makes them cry.

“When the girl came out to play, North stuck his finger in her arse and she ran away,” Will finishes. I should have kept my mouth shut. He’s having way too much fun with this.

When his laughter dies away, Will takes my beer and downs the rest of it, setting the empty stubbie back on the table. “Do you want her here?”

“You know there are other beers in the fridge?”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“No. I don’t. I just wanted to help her get back on her feet, but she doesn’t seem to be going anywhere.”

“Yeah, I know a couple guys like that.” Will nods. “You send ’em off into the big, wide world, and there they are, banging down your door at three a.m. in order to get some.”

“Like you’re complaining.” I grab us another drink from the kitchen. Twisting the caps off both stubbies, I throw them in the sink to clean up later and head outside onto the deck, holding a beer out to Will. He takes it, but instead of drinking he sets it down, grabs my forearm and pulls me towards him. Beer sloshes out of the bottle and onto my hand, but I’m a little preoccupied with his lips on mine and his tongue pushing into my mouth.

I set it down on the table beside him and ignore the clink of glass when it tips the other one over, just like I ignore the amber liquid pouring out onto my glass tabletop and spattering my legs as it splashes onto the floor.

Cupping Will’s face, I run my fingers over his stubbled jaw. I groan into his mouth and trail my hands down his body over muscled abs to the waistline of his jeans. I slip inside and take hold of his thick cock, giving it a firm squeeze as he unfastens his pants and roughly shoves them down his hips. Will breaks the kiss, sucking in a hissing breath as I slide my fingertip over his slit. He grabs a fistful of my hair and pushes my head lower.

“Cocky bastard.” I chuckle, pulling him free of his pants, I grin up at him.

“Suck my dick, Underwood.”

“I plan on it.” I lower my head and lick along his shaft. His erection jumps involuntarily. He wets his lips and slides his T-shirt up, playing with the little barbell in his nipple. I trail my lips up and draw the piercing into my mouth, tugging it between my teeth. Will moans and takes his cock in his hands sliding it against my flat stomach. The drop of pre-cum leaves a wet trail along my abs, and I reach down and wipe it off with my fingers, sucking them clean. Will’s lips turn up in a half-smile and then that smirk disappears when I lower my body to the lawn chair and shove between his knees and take him into my mouth.

“Oh fuck. Yeah, suck my cock, you little prick-tease,” Will says, fisting his hands in my hair.

I start out slow, taking him only a small way in before he bucks his hips and finally I deep-throat him. It’s hard not to gag—not because I don’t like it, but because I don’t know how anyone can do that shit without gagging. Seems like Will takes me halfway down his neck before he lets up—but I want this to be enjoyable for him so I swallow down my fear with the sweet, salty taste of his cock and let my mind go.

“You like my dick in your mouth?” he asks. I release him with a pop and lick the underside of his shaft.

“Yeah, I like your dick in my mouth, Will.”

Gripping my hair, he guides me back to him. “Then don’t ever fucking lie to me again.”

We share a look filled with heat, anger, and something deeper that I don’t want to name in case I’m mistaken. I nod and suck him hard.

“That’s it, take me deep, North, and don’t fucking stop until I coat the back of your throat with my come.”

I groan. If he doesn’t cut it out, I’m gonna jizz in my pants pretty soon. Will sucks in a sharp, hissing breath through his teeth. He thrusts his hips forward, throwing the rhythm completely off, but somehow that works, because his abs clench, his balls tighten and thick, hot bursts of semen fill my mouth. I swallow every last drop he has to give and savour the unfamiliar taste of him on my tongue.

“Holy Christ, you’re gonna kill me, Underwood. I haven’t come that hard since we were kids.” Will still grips my hair as the rest of him goes lax in my lawn chair. His eyes are closed and his whole body jerks involuntarily as my tongue licks at the smooth, round head.

He looks sleepy and content, which is not something I see on him very often. I can’t help wanting to kiss him, so I crawl up his body and lean in. He pushes me away.

“You smell like come.”

I grin. “I taste like it too. Wanna try?”

Will laughs, and I settle instead for kissing his cheek and jaw, down his neck and across to his earlobe, where I take the fleshy mound below his gauges and bite. For the first time in weeks I feel … light … buoyant. And then that all comes crashing down when I hear the front door slam and Tammy’s heels on the tiles.

“Fuck. Tam’s here,” I whisper, and step back into the table. The bottles rattle around, and one falls to the floor and smashes.

“North?” Tammy says from the hall. “Sweetie, are you okay?”

“Sweetie?” Will asks, but I can see he’s having fun with this, and he pisses himself laughing over my clumsy feet as he tucks himself back inside his jeans. “Your erection is massive, by the way. There’s no way she’s not going to see that.”