Finding Perfect (23 page)

“I work for you.”

“I thought you'd be pissed about Pia.” Everyone else was.

As she'd promised, Pia had spread the word that she'd been the one to break up with him. The problem was not enough people believed her. Or they assumed he'd done something so awful she'd been forced to end things with him.

“You didn't change the rules,” Dakota said easily. “She did.”

He stared at her, waiting for the “but.”

“Not that you weren't an idiot,” she continued. “If you're not willing to risk your heart for someone like her, you're completely cowardly and stupid. If you can't see you're already in love with her, then you're just dumb.”

So much for having someone on his side. “Tell me what you really think,” he said.

She patted his arm. “You'll figure it out. I have faith.”

He liked her theory, but she didn't have all the information. She didn't understand the past he was fighting.

“Did that guy really want to know if you had your head up your ass?” she asked.

“Those were his exact words.”

She laughed. “I want to say it must be refreshing to have people talk to you like you're a regular guy and not a sports celebrity, but I'm thinking right now you'd enjoy a little reverence.”

“It wouldn't hurt. Want to stick around and be my wingman?”

“Not really. You'll be fine. Chin up and all that. They're people, too.”

“Are you paid by the cliché?” he asked drily.

She smiled and walked off.

Alone in blissful quiet for a few seconds, he thought about what she'd said. About him being stupid for not risking his heart for someone like Pia.

As much as he wanted to give Pia all that she wanted, it wasn't as if there was a switch inside that he could simply turn on and off. He wasn't willing to take the chance again. Period. There was nothing anyone could say or do to change his mind. If that meant losing Pia permanently, then so be it.

He turned to return to the carnival, only to see Peter heading toward him. A short, beefy man trailed behind.

“Hi!” Peter waved his left arm. “Look. My cast is off. And you're right—my arm looks really weird. All scaly and skinny. The doctor says I'm doing really good, though.”

“I'm glad to hear it,” Raoul said, then held out his fist to start their elaborate greeting. The one Peter and Pia had come up with.

The downside of small-town living, he realized. There wasn't going to be anywhere to escape.

“My foster dad wants to meet you,” Peter said in a low voice when they'd finished. “I hope that's okay.”

“Sure.”

Raoul walked over and shook hands with the other man. Don Folio eyed him from under thick, dark eyebrows.

“You've been spending a lot of time with Peter,” he said.

“He's a great kid. Very special.”

There was something about the man Raoul didn't like.

“We appreciate your taking care of him when we were out of town.”

“It wasn't a problem.” Raoul smiled at Peter, who grinned back.

Don dug a dollar out of his pocket and handed it to Peter. “Raoul and I need to talk, kid. Go play a game or something.”

Peter hesitated, then nodded and hurried toward the arcade. Don faced Raoul.

“I can see you have a soft spot for the boy.”

“Sure. I like spending time with him.”

Don raised his eyebrows. “How much do you like spending time with him?” he asked.

Raoul felt a flicker of alarm over the oily nature of the question, but he wanted to see where Don was going with this. “If I could have more personal time with Peter, that would be ideal,” he said slowly.

Don nodded energetically. “I'm a man of the world and I get these kind of things. But the foster care system, they have some rules.”

Raoul ignored the burst of fury that flared up inside
of him. He kept his expression neutral, his body language open.

“The way I see it,” Don continued, “there are options. You want the kid and I don't care if you have him. Only it's going to cost you.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Raoul saw Mrs. Miller approaching. Casually, he stepped to the right to block her path.

“You're saying I can have Peter for a price?” he said just loud enough for the other woman to hear.

She froze, her face going white. He risked a single glance. She nodded, as if to say she was going to stay back and keep listening.

“Sure. And I don't care what you do with him. To each his own.”

“You have a price in mind?”

“Fifty thousand. In cash.” Don held up his hand. “I'm not interested in bargaining on the price. This is a onetime offer. If you don't want him, I can find someone else who does.”

Raoul pretended to consider the offer. “You have a way of clearing this through social services?”

“Sure. I go to Mrs. Dawson and say Peter would be happier with you. You had him before and he never said what happened. The kid knows how to keep a secret, I guess. Boys aren't my thing, but I'm an understanding kind of guy.”

Raoul wanted nothing more than to put his fist in the man's face. It would give him pleasure to grind Don Folio into the dirt.

He didn't know how this man had gotten ahold of Peter in the first place, but it was going to stop now. Today.

Don handed over a business card. “My cell's on the back. You have twenty-four hours.”

Raoul nodded, and the other man walked off. When he was gone, Mrs. Miller hurried up to him. “It's disgusting.”

Raoul closed his hands into fists. “He has to be stopped.”

She pulled out her cell phone and scrolled through the contacts. “I'm calling Mrs. Dawson right now.”

The social worker arrived in less than thirty minutes. Less than ten minutes after that, Police Chief Barns was threatening a very nervous-looking Don Folio. Raoul didn't think they could charge the guy with much—money hadn't actually changed hands—but he wasn't likely to ever take in a foster kid again. At least that was something.

Peter came running toward him.

“I heard,” the boy said, grinning and slightly out of breath. “I'm not going to be with them anymore. You're going to take me.”

Raoul stared at the kid, then held up both his hands. “Peter, I think you misunderstood. You'll be safely away from the Folios and another family will be found for you.”

Peter's expression froze. The happiness faded from his eyes and tears appeared. He went pale and his mouth trembled. “But I want to go with you. I stayed with you before. You're my friend.”

Raoul ignored the sense of being kicked in the gut. “We
are
friends. We'll still be friends and I'll see you at school. But I'm not a foster parent.”

“You were before,” he insisted, the last word coming out on a sob. “You took care of me.”

Mrs. Dawson hurried toward them. “Peter, we need to go.”

Peter lunged for Raoul. For a second, he thought the kid was going to hit him, but instead Peter wrapped his arms around Raoul and hung on as if he would never let go.

“You have to take care of me,” he cried. “You have to.”

Mrs. Dawson shook her head apologetically. “Come on, Peter. I have to get you to the group home. It's only for a few weeks until we find something else.”

Raoul stood there, not moving. Although the boy wasn't doing anything, he still felt his heart being ripped out all the same. People were stopping to stare.

Just when he thought he was going to have to forcibly push the kid away, Peter let go. Mrs. Dawson led him away, and neither of them bothered to look back.

 

M
ONDAY MORNING
, R
AOUL
arrived at work at his usual time. Seconds later, Dakota walked in, slammed her purse down on his desk and put her hands on her hips.

“I can't decide if I should quit or back my car over you,” she announced.

He stared at her. “What are you pissed about now?”

“What you did to Peter.”

Raoul didn't want to talk about that. He hadn't slept all night and he still felt as if he'd been hit in the gut. “He's safe now,” Raoul said flatly. “I talked to Mrs. Dawson this morning and from what the psychologists can tell, he wasn't abused by anyone. Folio's threats about giving the kid to someone else were designed to
make me hurry. He's not part of a big child-stealing ring. He's just an asshole.”

She glared at him. “And that's all you see?”

“What else is there?” He knew he sounded defensive, but it was all he had.

“Peter's crushed,” she snapped. “You swept in and saved him. Do you think he doesn't know what you did? You've been there for him all this time. You took him home when he broke his arm. You've been his friend.”

She spoke as if he'd been burning the kid with a cigarette.

“All that stuff is great,” he yelled. “So what's your problem?”

She jabbed him in the chest with her index finger. “You led that poor kid on, you jerk. You let him believe that you cared about him and when they took his foster dad away, he thought he'd be going home with you.”

“You think I don't know that? It was a mistake. All of it.” Getting involved in the first place. He knew better. He did his best work from a distance.

“It wasn't a mistake.” She spoke more calmly now. “Don't you remember what that was like? Packing everything you owned into a trash bag because you didn't have a suitcase and moving on? Do you remember how scary it was to find yourself in a new place, to not know the rules? Now it's happening again. And you've made that reality worse. You let him believe in you, trust you, and it all turned out to be a lie.”

Raoul wanted to protest that he'd never promised the boy anything. That he'd been there in a crisis, but that was all it was. Nothing more.

Only Peter wouldn't have seen it that way, he thought
grimly. He would have expected Raoul to rescue him again.

She shook her head. “I didn't blame you for the Pia thing, but I'm starting to see a pattern here. You play at making a difference, at being the good guy, but none of it is real. You're too afraid to give what really matters. You're all flash and no substance.”

She turned away, then spun back to him. “Do us all a favor. Stay away from ‘causes.' You've already done enough damage here.”

R
AOUL'S DAY OF HELL ONLY
went downhill from there. Dakota left him alone with his guilt. He wanted to do something, hit something—mostly himself. Nearly as bad, he honestly didn't know if she'd stalked off because she was mad or if she'd quit.

He paced back and forth in the large empty space he'd rented, trying to find an answer. But it all came back to the same thing. He'd let Peter believe in him, and then he'd let him down.

About an hour later, when he was still trying to come up with a plan, Mayor Marsha Tilson walked into his office. Normally, she was someone he enjoyed talking to. But there was something about the way she moved so purposefully that made him aware he might not like what she was going to say.

“I've heard what happened with Peter,” she said, getting right to the point. “I must say, I wish things had turned out differently, Mr. Moreno.”

Looking at her, seeing the disappointment in her eyes, was nearly the toughest thing he'd ever done, but he would be damned if he'd allow anyone to make him flinch.

“I do, too.”

“Do you?” she asked. “When you first arrived we were all impressed by your financial generosity,” she
continued, her blue eyes dark with disillusionment. “Your reputation elsewhere was that of a man who cared about others. One who gave back to the community. So when you indicated you wanted to move here, we welcomed you as one of our own.”

She pressed her lips together. “I don't know all the details about what happened with Pia, but I do know that she is a loving, giving young woman. To see her unhappy pains me. It pains us all.”

His body tensed. He squared his shoulders. “I didn't hurt Pia. We had a deal. She changed her mind.”

“If she's not hurt, then why was she crying over you?”

Pia crying? She'd been so sure when she'd left. How could she be wounded?

The mayor drew in a breath. “I'm sure you have some measure of guilt for all this, but fear not. It will pass. Peter will be taken care of, and Pia, too, because that's what we do here. We protect our own.” She put her hand on his arm. “I want to believe you're a good man trying to be a better one. But from what I can see, you're getting in your own way when things get personal.” She stared into his eyes. “For your own sake, and for Pia and Peter, maybe it's time to risk more than your money.”

With that, she turned and left. Raoul watched her go, feeling the slice of every honest word. He had never been what Hawk had raised him to be. It
was
all on the surface.

He crossed to the window and stared out at the town.

He'd wanted to settle here, to make a difference. He'd thought he would grow old here. But that wasn't going to happen. He didn't belong. No one would say it to his
face, but it was true. He deserved to be run out with pitchforks and torches.

He swore, not knowing which was worse—that he'd lost Pia, or that he'd broken the heart of a little boy who'd been foolish enough to believe in him.

He continued to stand by the window, waiting for the day to pass. He needed it to be dark so he could slink home without being seen and figure out what he was supposed to do next.

 

“A
PPARENTLY
M
ARSHA GAVE
him one of her famous talks,” Charity said, as she and Pia sat at the Fox and Hound having lunch. “She wouldn't give me details, but I'm sure she got inside his head and messed with him.”

Pia felt awful. Not only was she still hurting from missing Raoul, she felt terrible about Peter's situation. While she agreed that Raoul had given the boy the impression he would be there for him, she knew the man she loved would never deliberately hurt anyone. It seemed there were no winners in this situation.

“Did she say how he looked?”

“No.” Charity studied her. “You really do love him, don't you?”

“You sound surprised.”

“I thought this would disillusion you.”

“No. He has a good heart and he's a good guy. None of this is easy for him.”

She thought about his past, how Caro had betrayed him. How he was afraid to trust.

“Everyone needs to give him a break,” she said firmly.

Charity hesitated. “Marsha thinks he might be leaving town.”

Pia's breath caught. “Leaving? Why? He's settled here. He has the camp, which is what brought him here. There are plans for special classes and intensive learning. He would never give that up.” The camp represented his future.

She looked at her friend. “There's no way he would make the decision on his own. What happened? Did Marsha run him out of town?”

“No, but she made it clear she was disappointed. How will he handle that?”

“I don't know,” Pia admitted. Would he leave? If he didn't feel comfortable in town, he might. She hated the thought of Fool's Gold without him.

“I'm sorry,” Charity told her.

“Me, too,” Pia said. “I want him here. I want him to stay. While I'm at it, I want him to love me back.”

“You don't get to decide any of that,” her friend reminded her.

If only things could be different, Pia thought sadly. But they weren't.

 

R
AOUL'S PLAN TO WAIT
until dark lasted about an hour. He paced in his office, tried working, then had to fight the need to throw the damn computer across the room.

He was furious and ashamed and disappointed—all with himself.

He'd come here with big ideas for finding the right place, the right way to give back. Being like Hawk, changing lives, had driven him. Everything about Fool's Gold had appealed to him. The friendly small town
had made him feel welcome. Then what had he done? Blown it.

Years ago, in college, he'd screwed up big-time. Hawk had been the one to get him back on track. Since then, Raoul had managed to find his way on his own. Until now.

He couldn't figure out where it had all gone wrong. With Pia, he supposed it had been when he'd offered to marry her so he could have everything he wanted without putting any part of himself on the line. He'd taken the easy, safe way out, and it had all gone to hell.

He should have known he couldn't have it all for free. That was like making a deal with the devil. If it looked too good to be true, it was.

As for Peter, he'd simply stepped in it with the kid. His motivations had all been aboveboard, but somewhere along the way, he'd forgotten he was dealing with a ten-year-old boy's heart. He'd befriended Peter, wanting only to save the kid. Instead he'd hurt him again.

Unable to stand the confines of his office, he stalked to the door and opened it. He half expected an angry mob with pitchforks waiting for him, but the town looked as it always had. The turning leaves fluttered in a light breeze. The sky was blue, the sun a little lower in the horizon than it had been a month ago. Winter was coming.

He'd wanted to see the town in snow, to experience the changing seasons. He'd wanted to ski at the resort, to lie with Pia by a fire, to watch her grow heavy with their two babies. It didn't take much effort to add Peter to the mix. He could see the boy playing by the fire, or laughing as he and Raoul played video games.

As he stepped out into the afternoon, he realized the
solution was obvious and simple. He could have them both, if he was willing to hand over all he was. What had Josh said? Heart, soul and balls. Without Pia, he had no use for them anyway. As for Peter, the kid probably deserved better, but Raoul hoped he was willing to accept what was offered.

He half expected the heavens to open and angels to sing. He got it. He really got it. After all this time and running to avoid the only thing he wanted, he understood the point.

It wasn't about giving money or loaning a camp to a school. It was about giving all he had, all he was. It was about risking his heart.

Pia, he thought frantically. He had to get to Pia.

He turned toward her office, only to nearly run into a half dozen middle-aged women. They were staring at him purposefully, which wasn't a good thing.

“Hi,” the one in front said. “I'm Denise Hendrix. Dakota's mother? We met at the Fall Festival.”

He held in a groan. “Yes. Nice to see you again.” He nodded at the other women. “Ladies.”

The other women stared at him without responding. He noticed Bella in the crowd, but she didn't look as happy as she had the day she'd also helped rescue him from the overaggressive tourists.

“We need to talk to you,” Denise told him.

“This isn't a good time for me.”

“Do we look like we're getting any younger?” the oldest in the group snapped. “You'll listen, young man, and you'll listen good. We have ways of making your life a living hell. Do you really want to test us on that?”

Like any good sportsman, he knew when he'd met a superior opponent. “No, ma'am.”

“I didn't think so.” She sniffed. “Go on, Denise.”

“We've been talking,” Dakota's mother told him. “We looked you up on the Internet. I don't know what went wrong with your first wife, but she wasn't anyone we would trust.”

The other women nodded in agreement.

“You've been single a few years now, so you're obviously over her. You came here to settle down, which shows you're intelligent. You seem like a nice enough man.”

Obviously these women hadn't been talking to Mayor Marsha, he thought grimly.

“But you're stuck.”

Bella pushed through the other women and moved in front of him. “Pia loves you, so we want her to have you.”

Denise patted her friend's arm. “Bella, I think we need to be more delicate. Raoul might not know he's in love with Pia. We might have to explain things.”

“He gets it,” another woman said. “How could he not? She's wonderful. If he doesn't love her, he doesn't deserve her.”

“I agree,” someone else said. “But I've said it before. If we wait for the man we deserve, we'll never get married.”

“At least he's handsome.”

“And rich.”

“He has nice, thick hair,” Bella told them.

“And a great butt.”

The last comment was Raoul's tipping point. “Ladies,” he said loudly. “I appreciate the intervention. I know Pia will be grateful when she hears of your very vocal sup
port.” Humiliated, he thought while smiling for the first time in hours, but grateful.

“However, this is between me and Pia. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go talk to her.”

Denise grabbed his arm in a surprisingly strong grip. “Not so fast. What are you going to say?”

He stared at them all. While he could easily tell them it wasn't their business, he hadn't changed his mind about settling here. Fool's Gold was going to be his home for a very long time, and these women were his neighbors.

“The truth,” he said simply. “That I'm desperately in love with her and I'm begging her to give me a second chance.”

Several of the women sighed.

Denise gave him a shove. “Don't just stand there,” she said. “Go find her.”

He took off at a jog, trying to figure out where to go first. It was midafternoon. He would start with her office and spread out from there.

He took the stairs two at a time and burst onto the landing. Her door stood partially open. He hurried toward it, aware of voices down by the first-floor entrance. Ignoring them, he pushed open Pia's door and found her alone in her small office.

She looked much as she had the first time he'd seen her. Pretty with curly brown hair and bright, hazel eyes that showed every emotion. The difference was now he knew that she was kind and loving, funny and smart. That she was rational and compassionate, even when panicked, that she gave with her whole heart and that he could search the world and never find anyone even close to her.

She looked up, startled. “Raoul. Are you okay? I heard about Marsha's visit and I want to tell you I had nothing to do with that.”

“I know.”

“She's upset, but no one wants you to leave town.”

“Good, because I'm not going.”

“Really? Well, that's great. I mean of course you can live where you want. This is a free country. Sometimes small towns have an inflated sense of themselves.”

He moved around the desk and drew her to her feet. Her gaze flickered, as if she was afraid to stare directly at him.

“Pia?”

“Yes.”

“Look at me.”

She sighed, then did as he requested.

He knew her face. He'd seen it hundreds of times. But he would never get tired of seeing her and touching her. Only her, he thought. He would take the chance with her, because he didn't have a choice. Without her, he was only half-alive.

“I offered you a marriage of convenience,” he began. “Because I wasn't willing to get involved again. My first marriage ended badly. I'd made a mistake and I didn't know where I'd gone wrong. Rather than figure that out, I decided to never take the chance again.”

Her fingers were warm against his. He felt her faint trembling. While he wanted to reassure her, he knew he had to tell her the truth, first.

“What Caro did was wrong, but I don't believe she meant to betray me. Her career mattered more than anything else. I'd known that, but I didn't think through what that meant. I wanted a wife and a family. She said
the right words, and I took them at face value because it gave me what was important to me. I think she knew I wouldn't like hearing that she wanted to wait to start a family.”

He brought one of Pia's hands to his mouth and kissed her palm.

“I moved here, thinking it would be easy,” he continued.

“Foolish man.”

“Tell me about it. It wasn't easy, but it was where I belonged. This is home. But it's an empty, cold place without you.” He stared into her eyes. “I love you, Pia O'Brian. I was too stubborn and scared to admit it until now, but I love you. Please marry me. Not because it's convenient, but because we can't imagine life without each other.”