Read Finding the Magic (Tom Kelly's Boys Book 1) Online
Authors: Casey McMillin
I knew the letter would get to Drake quickly since we lived in the same town, but I was surprised to get a call from him the day after I mailed it.
It was 3PM on Tuesday afternoon when the call came in, and even though I could have easily picked up the phone to talk to him, I didn't. I was too scared. I stared at the phone until the call went to voicemail. Then I stared at it some more, waiting to see if he'd leave a message. He did. A notification came up asking if I wanted to listen to the message, and I was so nervous about what it would say, that I hesitated. I sat there for a few long seconds with my finger over the button before finally deciding to listen to it.
I put the phone to my ear. There was a second of silence at the beginning of the message and I heard him sigh as he began speaking. "Addie, I just got your letter." Just hearing his voice gave me a pain in the chest. I heard him pause and sigh again, and my heart ached. "I'm not gonna lie, I'm really bummed about it. I wish you had picked up your phone so I could talk to you. I understand if you don't want to see me anymore, but please call me back. And I've already shredded that check." The message ended and I looked down at the phone long enough to press the play button to hear it again.
Maybe I'd only known him a little while, and maybe it was really dramatic of me to feel like this, but I was devastated—crushed into a thousand pieces, torn to smithereens at the thought of losing him. But that was just how it had to be. I wanted him so badly that I cried frustrated tears.
I decided not to call him back since there was no way I'd have the strength to refuse him if he asked me to reconsider. I didn't text him either. I thought it was best to stop communication altogether, but just because it was me who stopped the conversation, didn't mean it hurt any less.
None of the Richies were at home, so I decided to go play their piano. With swollen, bloodshot eyes, I carried my bench over to their house. I played the last movement of Rachmaninoff's Piano Concerto No. 3. It was the first time I'd played it since the incident in London, and I honestly thought I'd never play it again in my life.
At that moment, however, I needed to play it. The pain of playing it would perhaps lessen the pain of losing Drake. I played it three times in a row, and each time, it was flawless. It was like my fingers had been missing it. I played past the part where I froze in London as if I had no memory of it happening.
***
Piano became my diversion.
It became my obsession.
I spent the next weeks falling back in love with the instrument that had at one time been so special to me. I needed something to help me fill the gaping void left by Drake's absence, and the piano became my stand-in. I began spending a lot of my time in the practice rooms at the University. I was already familiar with some of the faculty, but during those weeks before school started, when I basically lived in the practice room, I got closer to many of them.
Call me a woman, but my newfound confidence at the piano had me changing plans again. I would still continue to study musicology as a secondary subject of interest, but I was switching my major back to performance.
The piano instructor at Miami was a world-class player and composer, and I was excited to get inspired by him. His name was Dr. Hornsby, and he came by the practice room regularly to listen in on me. He had connections with the symphony, and was already talking about getting them to feature me one night during the fall concerts in the park series. He told me it was something he needed an answer to immediately since their roster was already planned for this season, and it'd be a miracle if he could make it happen in the first place. I agreed to do it if he could get me a spot, and two days later, he called to tell me it was a done deal.
I would be featured on October 17
th
and we'd be playing Rachmaninoff's Piano Concerto No. 3. He knew it was one of my strongest concertos because he'd heard me playing it. He also knew it was the one I'd forgotten in London. I asked him if he really recommended me doing that one right out of the gate like this, and he said he wouldn't have set it up that way if he didn't think I could handle it.
Dr. Hornsby knew about my bench—that I never played without it, and that I believed it had supernatural powers, and even still with this bit of information, he wanted me to go ahead with the piece. The funny thing was, as the weeks passed, and the concert approached, I wasn't nervous about it at all. I placed all my confidence in my fingers just as I had been able to do in the past, and the feeling was amazing.
October 17
th
came before I knew it, and suddenly, it was the night of the concert. The fall concert series was an extremely popular event, and The Green, Miami's largest amphitheater, would be packed, as it was every week.
Sometime during the last couple of months, Megan talked me into going out with her friend, Lee, the sportscaster guy. We didn't have major fireworks or anything, but he was handsome, and we were a good match since we were both professionals who had our own creative endeavors. In other words, we barely ever saw each other, and that was fine with both of us. We'd been on a few dates, and didn't mind being together socially. It was a comfortable connection since we were friends with the same people.
Anyway, Lee and Megan, along with some of our other friends, were all coming to the concert. My parents and sister were driving down from Jensen and said they would try to find Megan and the others on the lawn when they got here.
Everyone got there early in order to get a good spot, and I could see them in a section on the right side of the lawn. There were about twenty people on those blankets and I could count at least three bouquets of flowers that I knew were intended for me. None of them could see me from behind the stage curtains, but I smiled anyway, loving the fact that they were there. I glanced out at the stage and saw my beautiful bench sitting at the piano and couldn't wait to get out there.
I'm happy to report that everything went well. I felt great that night, and it came across in my playing. I was able to forget everything but the keys for the time I was out there. I connected with the piano in a way I rarely did, and knew even while I was playing the piece, that it was one of the best efforts I'd ever put forward. It was as if my body was trying to redeem itself for betraying me in London, and honestly, I loved it.
I smiled as I hit the final note and let my hands fall to my sides. The crowd was cheering before I could even stand up and bow, and my eyes welled with tears and my heart sang with happiness and relief at the sound of the applause. I took a deep breath and a deep bow toward the audience before turning to gesture to the conductor and then to the orchestra.
The audience cheered loudly, and I waved and blew kisses, feeling overwhelmed with emotion that I'd actually just played for a crowd that size. I thought I'd never feel that way again, and the relief I got from it had me all choked up. I waved and smiled as I walked off the right side of the stage. I heard the sounds of the orchestra and audience packing up, and took comfort in the clatter and murmur of everyone gathering their things to go home.
The conductor followed me off the stage and congratulated me for the performance. I knew I played well, but he seemed blown away, and I was thankful for the kind words. I gave him a hug and told him what a pleasure it was working with him.
There were several people in the backstage area who wanted to say a few words, and the number increased as the orchestra players began coming off the stage. Everyone was really complementary about my playing and I returned the compliments and thanked them all graciously for allowing me to play. It was the most fun I'd had in a long time, and I was all-smiles as I spoke with members of the orchestra.
My family and friends stuck around. They'd stood up and gathered their things, but were still in about the same spot on the lawn. I posed for several photos before telling everyone backstage that I was going to meet my family on the lawn.
I was wearing an all black outfit as usual, but this time it wasn't a dress. This time I wore slim fitting black tuxedo shorts with a corset top layered over a black blouse. My outfit matched my bench in how whimsical they were, and I felt like they were both representative of me and my style of playing.
"You looked like a total rock star up there!" Megan yelled as I approached. The compliment made me blush, and I was thankful for the darkness of twilight. One of the stagehands was walking next to me holding my bench. He offered to bring it straight to my car, but I rarely let it out of my sight. I was used to lugging it around, and said I'd be happy to carry it myself, but he insisted. I told him I'd have help getting it to my car once we made it to my family, and he took me at my word. He greeted my family briefly, but was otherwise just there long enough to set the bench down.
My mom was the first to give me a handful of flowers, followed by five more handfuls, including some from Megan and Lee. I smiled from ear to ear as they recounted stories about watching me up there and things they heard the crowd say when I finished.
My parents began catching up with the Richies and Lee came to stand beside me. We never did any kind of PDA, but everyone who was there knew we'd been seeing each other a little lately, so no one was surprised that he made his way to me. Megan was standing on the other side of me where Lee couldn't see, and she turned to stare straight at my face with wide eyes that showed panic.
"That guy's here," she whispered. Her mouth was extremely stiff when she said it, making her words come out barely audible.
"What?" I whispered.
She gave me another panicked look, begging me to grasp what she was saying. "That pirate guy from next door is standing right over there."
My stomach tied into a thousand knots—even worse than when I was just on stage. I thought I would never see him again. I actually
hoped
I would never see him again. I hadn't looked through the hole in the wall even though Steven had long since rinsed out the dirt that was blocking the view.
I had, however, been back there, and I'd heard enough to know that Drake Kelly had moved on with life. The parties continued, and hearing girls back there one night when I was sitting on the bench was what made me agree to go out with Lee in the first place.
I only had a second to react.
I wanted to begin searching my surroundings for the person she was talking about, but I dared not look up. I stared at Megan with a sincere expression, begging her to tell me the truth.
"Are you sure?" I whispered, earnestly.
"Yes. He's standing right over there, holding flowers and looking straight at you."
I was desperate to see him, and felt nauseated with nerves and excitement at the thought of him being there that very second. We were both mumbling, and Lee got curious and peeked his head around to see what we were talking about. Megan and I both looked at him with the fakest of smiles.
"What's going on?" he asked.
"Someone Addie used to go out with is here," Megan said.
Lee looked at me and I just smiled and nodded, confirming Megan's statement.
"You don't have to talk to him if it's uncomfortable," Lee said. "We can just get out of here. I was about to suggest that anyway."
"I probably need to talk to him for a second," I said, hoping Drake would be patient and wait for me. I looked at Megan. "Where is he?" I asked.
She pointed over my shoulder.
There was a group of palm trees along the edge of the lawn, and I saw him standing under them, holding onto a bouquet of flowers. It was mainly just his silhouette since the trees blocked the lights from hitting him, but it was unmistakably Drake.
"Holy shit, motherfucker. There's Captain Tom's son," Steven said, coming to stand by us when he caught sight of him.
"Shut up Steven, you have no idea what you're talking about," Megan snapped.
"He's a friend of mine, actually," I said.
I was unable to sit there with everyone while he just stood there by himself. I couldn't stop myself from going to meet him. I set the handfuls of flowers I still had in my hand onto the bench and looked at Megan.
"I'll be back in just a second. Look after my bench with your life."
She smiled and nodded, and I started walking in Drake's direction, but turned back to look at the group as a whole. "I'll be right back guys, and I'm up for having a drink after this if anyone else wants to."
I started back in the direction of Drake, and he began to slowly walk toward me as I made my way to him. He held his arms out when we were just a few feet apart, and I walked into them without hesitation. I wanted to burst into tears at the relief of feeling his arms around me again.
"Shit Addie," was the first thing he said.
I held him tightly for several seconds, until it hit me that my friends and family were probably watching, and I couldn't just stand there and melt into him like I wanted to.
I pulled back to look at him. "What are you doing here?" It was the stupidest question I could have asked, but I was overwhelmed, and couldn't come up with anything else.
"A month ago, I saw your name on a poster at a bakery. It said you'd be playing here tonight." He paused, but then continued. "I thought I had talked myself into believing I'd be fine without you—that I'd come tonight, and if you wouldn't have me, then I'd be okay with that and life would go on." He paused again and stared at me.
My eyes welled with tears as I took in the perfect face I'd been dreaming about since I first laid eyes on it.
"I'm not okay without you, Addie. Not having you isn't happening. It's not an option. I have to have you, so I'm gonna need you to be okay with that… okay?"
He reached out to pull me in again, but I resisted, knowing we were being watched. "Drake," I said, hopelessly. "I know your dad and brother don't want me around. I heard you guys talking. I know you have secrets that they don't want me finding out about. I know I'm not welcome there." I stared at him for a second, but then kept talking. "That in itself is reason enough, but in the interest of full disclosure, I have to tell you were right about that table. I didn't really want it. I only went to your house to meet you. And I only knew you existed because our backyards share a wall and we can see you guys through a little hole in it."
He barely hesitated. "I don't care
how
you knew me, Addison. I don't care what your motivation was for coming. You came, and that's exactly what you were meant to do because you're meant to be mine." He cocked his head and regarded me curiously. "Don't you know it? I mean, it's obvious, right?" He looked serious when he said it, and I was so happy that I let out a nervous laugh. He pulled me into his arms and I looked up at him.
"So, what if we decide to give this a shot?" I asked. "I heard the conversation with your brother about me."
"Rory doesn't tell me how to live my life."
"Yeah, but your dad and brother are a big part of your life, and it's just weird if they don't want me around."
I glanced back at the group, which made Drake say, "I've been counting the days since I saw that poster, so whatever plans you had will just have to include me. We'll have plenty of time to discuss Dad and Rory, which are irrelevant, but for right now, if you want to go back over there, I'm going with you."
I took a deep breath. "You should probably know that I'm sort of seeing someone and he's standing right over there."
"That dude from the news?"
"Yeah, It's not serious or anything, but I'm just wondering if it's gonna be awkward to have you walk over there with me."
Drake looked down at me as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing. He put his hands on my shoulders, and gave me a little shake. "Addie, I don't give a shit about awkward. I'm not up for leaving here without you, so let's do whatever we have to do to make that happen."
"I hope you understand that this is a stretch for me to take you over there and introduce you to these people. They're all gonna have a million questions, especially the teenage boy. He knows you from the crack and thinks you guys are pirates."
Drake's mouth lifted into a sly smile. "We are."
"See? This is exactly why I can't bring you over there. I'm already a nervous wreck thinking they could somehow get you guys in trouble if they know too much."
Drake let out an easy laugh and pulled me into his arms. I didn't resist this time. "Don't worry, Kitten. I don't speak that way in front of just anyone. Just let me do the talking."
I glanced back at the group before looking up at Drake. I searched his eyes. "What are you going to tell them?"
He smiled confidently. "It'll be fine. If they're curious, I'll handle it."
He held out the flowers he brought, which were beautiful. I took them from him, and inspected them for a second as we walked to the group of my friends and family. I made eye contact with several of them as we approached, and it was comical to see their different expressions. My family and Megan's parents were just watching us curiously, but Steven was barely able to contain his excitement. He held a fist over his mouth and shifted back and forth. Megan was smiling this serene smile like we were the sweetest thing she'd ever seen, while next to her, Lee looked frustrated and confused. I could tell he recognized Drake from that night at his house, and that he didn't like the fact that Drake was coming back over there with me.
I decided to avoid him momentarily, and instead go for a less hostile welcome. My parents were talking to Megan's parents and I led Drake to the place where they were standing. "This is Drake," I said as we approached.
Steven, who had been standing near the outskirts of the group, now stood right next to his dad.
"These are my parents, Rob and Anne Connor, my friend Megan's parents, Alan and Candice Richie. You've met Megan. She and I live in their guesthouse." I gestured to the Richies then to Steven. "This is their son Steven."
Drake began shaking hands, one by one. "Drake Kelly," he said, smiling.
"Not the Drake who made the bench," my mom said.
"I'm Addie's sister Brie, who are you?" my sister asked, coming to stand with us. She'd been on the phone, and had missed our approach.
"Drake," I said. "And yes, mom, he's the one who made the bench."
"Oh, my goodness, that is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I was telling Rob that just a minute ago, wasn't I, honey? We were all just standing here admiring it. I can't believe you carved all that by hand. It's so smooth and perfect."
Drake smiled sweetly at her. "Thank you," he said. "I tried to make it good enough for her, but that's pretty impossible."
My mother let out a long sigh at his sweetness, which would have been mortifying, but everyone started talking at once, so no one noticed.
"I thought we were going for drinks," Lee said, moving to stand near us.
We were turning into one big group with Drake and me in the center.
"I think we should go to a restaurant or something so we can all go," Steven said. I noted the lack of profanity and figured he must be trying to be on his best behavior so his parents would want to go out.
"We're not going to bother Addie and her friends if they want to go out," Alan said. My parents shook their heads in agreement as if the last thing they wanted to do was interfere.
Everyone was looking at me like I was the one who should decide. Everything had happened so quickly that it was hard for me to think straight. I looked around.
"I love all of you guys and am so glad you made it, but I might have changed my mind about going out." I didn't even want to be standing there long enough to say goodbye to them all. I wanted Drake so badly I could taste it, and now that I knew he wanted me in return, I had no patience for plan making or plan executing. I only wanted to be alone with him, and felt frustrated at Lee, and Steven, and everyone else who wanted to go out.
"I'm good with that," Megan said. "I thought you'd be tired.
Both sets of parents were quick to agree that it was probably a good idea for me to get some rest after the performance. Steven looked utterly bummed, and Lee still looked confused. There were a few other friends standing around, but everyone talked amongst themselves about rides and whatnot as they begin to disperse.
The Richies invited my parents and sister back to the house, but they said they needed to get back to Jensen. We stayed there for a few minutes saying goodbye to everyone before the last remaining few headed off in the same direction. Megan and Lee along with another friend named Gemma were parked in the same garage as me, so we walked together. Drake was parked somewhere else, but told me he'd walk me to my car.
Lee tried to walk next to me, and I was actually mad at him for not seeing that I was in an awkward position. Was he really going to make me come out and explain things?
"So, I didn't know if you remembered Drake from when he came to pick me up from your house that time," I said, trying to speak quietly enough so only he could hear.
"I remember," he said. Drake talked to Megan and Gemma intentionally to give me a second to explain things to Lee. I was pissed that I even had to. Why couldn't he just take a hint?
"I was sort of seeing him back then, and then we weren't, and well, now…" I broke off shyly and Drake (who was walking on the other side of me and not even looking in my direction) discretely grabbed my hand. I glanced at him to find that he was holding my bench under the other arm.
Lee looked down at our hands and then up at me. He didn't say anything, just looked at me with an unreadable expression. Drake used a thumb to rub the back of my hand, and I gave his a squeeze before letting it go. I didn't mind breaking the news to Lee but I hesitated to flaunt it right in front of him. I was a nice girl from way back and couldn't bring myself to do it. Drake didn't seem to mind. He just continued talking to Megan and gave me time to talk to Lee.
"I seriously hope we can still be friends," I said.
Lee didn't say anything to that. It was really tense for the last minute or two of the walk to our cars. I was on the first floor and the others were up a few levels, so we separated once we got there. Lee gave us a forced smile, but Gemma and Megan both said how much they enjoyed the show.
Megan whispered to me when she hugged me goodbye, saying that I shouldn't worry about Lee and that she'd stay at Gemma's for the night, just in case we wanted to go to the house. Those three went upstairs to their car, leaving me alone with Drake for the first time.
I wanted to burst into tears and fall into his arms but decided to save it. I pushed the button to put the top down on my car and asked Drake to put the bench on the backseat. He leaned over the side of the car to gently set the bench down, and when he did, I moved to stand right next to him. He was wearing a sleek, grey pantsuit that was impeccably tailored and fit him like a glove. He'd dressed for the occasion and I stood there appreciating him.
He straightened to find me standing close and did exactly what I was hoping he'd do. He reached out for me. This time, his grasp wasn’t tentative. His arms came around me and squeezed like a massive snake constricting. Instead of resisting, I relaxed and imagined my body molding into his. His grasp loosened just enough to make me relax even further, and for those few glorious seconds, it felt like we were one organism.
After a few seconds, he let me go and put his hands on my shoulder. "Where are we going?" he asked.
"I assumed to your car," I said.
"I didn't drive."
"How'd you get here?"
"Rory dropped me off."
"Was he planning on picking you up?"
"No."
"How were you going to get home?"
"You."
We stood there for a second, saying everything with our eyes.
"I'm so glad you came," I said.
"I've been counting the days since I saw that poster, Addie. I can't believe you've been on the other side of that wall this whole time."
"You wanna drive?" I held out the keys and Drake took them out of my hand before opening the passenger's door for me. He got in and adjusted the seat before starting the car and taking off toward our neighborhood. I told him that regardless of where we decided to spend the night I wanted to bring my bench home, and led him to my house even though he already knew roughly where it was.
"I'll have to show you that hole sometime," I said as I unlocked the door to the guesthouse.
"It's not there anymore," he said.
My head whipped around. "What do you mean?"
"I mean it's been taken care of. Found and filled. There were two of them, actually. One down by the ground and the other one was about six and a half feet off the ground."
"It was the lower one we knew about, but I just told you that a few minutes ago. How in the world did—"
"This is a nice place," he said, setting my bench down by the door. "Is there somewhere else you want this?"
"Actually, I keep it in my bedroom if you don't mind bringing it in there."
He picked it up again and followed me to my room. I went in first and turned on the light as I held the door open for him. I pointed to the spot where I kept it by my bed. Drake set it down and then turned and straightened, taking in my bedroom.
"Where's your piano?"
"I practice at school or next door at the Richies. They have a really nice baby grand like yours."
It was really hard for me to talk about piano. I was so turned on that it was hard to breathe, and I had barely even touched him. I wanted to pounce on him—tackle him onto the bed and go to town on him like a crazy person, ripping off all his clothes in the process.