Finding You (21 page)

Ian barely slept after taking her computer to his office and turned the video back on.  He did something he knew Nova would be furious with but he was afraid she would destroy the video and he was determined that Stanford would rot in prison for what he had done to her so he made a copy of the video. 

He unpacked her clothes, finally crawling in bed with her before daylight.  He stayed home the next day watching over her while she slept.  Determined to be there when she woke up he checked on her every ten minutes until she finally woke up in the early afternoon.

“Ian?”

“I’m here baby.”

“How long have I been asleep?” she asked wiggling herself closer to him.

“About sixteen hours.  You needed the rest baby.”

She turned over to look at him.  “I’m so sorry Ian.  I never wanted you to see that.  You should have made Caroline leave it alone.”

“No Nova, leaving it alone wasn’t going to fix anything.  Nothing will stop this until he knows he can’t do this to you anymore.”

“You should have asked me Ian.  It isn’t right that the two of you did this behind my back.”

“Nova, this isn’t just about you.  There are a lot of people who have a lot to lose if they are identified with the club.  This is damage control baby.  Stanford fucked with us.  Did you really think we would sit back and just let it go?”

Nova remembered what Penney had told her. 
“If you are in trouble you come here first.  They can make things go away.” 

Nova kept quiet.  She knew what damage control was and it was what she was going to have to do.  Stanford would come for her.  She knew he would.

“I had Roberta make you some chicken noodle soup.  Do you think you can eat?”

“Yeah, let me get a bath and I will be down in a little bit.”

~  ~

Ian was in his office when she went downstairs to eat.  She didn’t bother him, she was hungry and she needed some time to think about how the hell she was going to fix what they had done.  She also needed time to figure out how to talk to him about the video she let him watch. 

Tears rolled down her cheeks as she ate her soup.  A few sips were all it took before she got nauseated.  She needed to get it out in the open.

“Ian,” she said opening the door to his office.

“Let me call you back,” he said hanging up the phone.

She was shaking when she walked in and sat on the corner of his desk.  “I assume you watched all the video?”

His face tightened and she heard him grind his teeth.

“That video was the night he found out I was accepted to Harvard.  There was a really bad storm that night and I tried to hide from him but he found me.  That’s why I’m afraid of storms sometimes.”  She stopped afraid she might cry but she didn’t.  “He started hitting me after my mom died.  He had done the same thing to her.  I guess when she was gone he didn’t have anyone else so he took it out on me.  I know you want to know why I stayed but honestly I had nowhere to go.  I don’t have any family.”

“He hadn’t touched me the whole time I had been here until I refused to come back and I sent a copy of the video to threaten him.  I know I should have turned him in but I wanted to graduate.  I wanted to be able to take care of myself so that I never had to go back.  So I kept quiet and every semester he paid my tuition and paid for what I needed.  I always thought he did it because maybe he felt guilty but I know now that isn’t why he did it.  He did it because he didn’t want to look bad in front of anyone.  Stanford’s reputation means everything to him.  He made us look like the perfect family to everyone.  I think that is one of the reasons I hate my mom so much.  She never tried to make things better for us.  She loved the attention she got from being married to Stanford.”

He pulled her down to his lap.  “The scar on the inside of your leg, he did that to you?”

The scar was something that she and Ian had never discussed.  “The scar is from a hot lighter.  Stanford never hit me where someone could see it.  It’s the only reason it is where it is.  He wanted to make sure I never forgot the hand that fed me.  It’s supposed to be a reminder.”

“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.  Is that what he told you?”

She didn’t answer.  She didn’t have too.

“Was that the only time he raped you Nova?”

She saw the tears well up in his eyes.

“No, but it was the last time.”

Lifting her hands to his mouth he kissed her fingers while tears rolled down his cheeks.  “Why didn’t you tell me what he did? I asked you and you didn’t tell me the truth.”

“I couldn’t risk losing you.  I was so afraid you wouldn’t want me if you knew my secret so I kept it from you.”

She watched as his mouth dropped open in astonishment.  “No baby, there isn’t anything that could make me not want you.  What he did to you was out of your control.”

Gripping his shoulders she looked him straight in the eye.  “Do you think I am dirty now Ian?  I understand if you do.  I won’t hold it against you.”

“Oh Nova, you aren’t dirty baby.  Don’t ever let yourself believe that.  If you do
he
wins.  Isn’t that what you told me?  We can’t let them win baby.  This doesn’t change anything between you and me.  You are mine and I would never think less of you because of what he did to you.  You were a teenager baby with nowhere to go, nowhere to run.  You did the only you could to survive.”

He pulled her in tight in his arms.

“Ian, he will come after me.  I have to figure out how to handle him.”

“There isn’t anything to handle Nova.  It’s done now.”

“You don’t know what you and Caroline have done.  He isn’t afraid of you or anyone else.  He is coming after me, it’s just a matter of when.”

She watched the muscle twitch in his jaw.  “He isn’t coming anywhere near you Nova.  You have my word.” 

I felt sick.  “What have you done Ian?”

Leaning forward he pulled a file out of his desk.  “I haven’t done anything Nova.  You knew the rules of the club and that video you have isn’t the only thing he has against him.”

Grabbing the file she turned around and opened it up.  “Did you hire a private investigator?”

“I did but most of what is there is from the investigation by the club.” 

Turning the pages she gasped.  “Oh my God Ian where are these pictures from?”

“A private fetish club in Georgia.  These pictures were hand delivered to him this morning.  From my understanding he resigned from his job at noon today.  He won’t bother you again Nova.”

I was speechless.  “Caroline did this?”

He didn’t answer. 

She sat in silence for a long time.  The only constant was the feel of Ian’s hand as he rubbed soothing circles against her back. 

“I want to go back to bed Ian.  Will you lay down with me?”

Taking her by the hand he led her upstairs to their bedroom.  Carefully undressing her, then himself he held her until she fell asleep.

When she woke some time later.  Ian was still holding her.

“Please Ian, I need to feel you.”  She needed the reassurance of his touch.  She needed to know that despite her past, and the ugliness of it that he still wanted her.

“Nova, what do you need baby?”

She needed his skin on hers.  “I need to feel you Ian.”

His beautiful brown eyes turned to fire. “I love you Nova.  Do you believe me?”

She started to shake.  Why should he love her?

“I know baby.  Nothing has changed between us.  Nothing ever will.”

Her breathing picked up.  She closed her eyes tight wanting to fight off the tears wanting to avoid his eyes.

“I have never wanted anyone like I want you Nova.  You have changed me in ways I never thought possible.  I want things with you I could never imagine I would ever want.”

Was it possible to love him anymore than she did right now?

“What do you need from me baby?  I will give you the world.”

She opened her eyes pushing her tears away.  His beautiful seductive eyes met hers.  She reached up and laid her hand across his heart.  “This, this is the only thing I will ever need from you, Ian.”

Frantically their hands caressed each other. 

“Ian, please, please let me feel you inside me.”  Her hands ran across his shoulders and then tried to pull him to her but he wasn’t moving.

Slowly he slid one finger inside her and then another.  “I’m in you baby, is this what you want.”

Frustration and pure lust pierced through her as he stimulated the sweet spot inside her.  It wasn’t what she wanted but he was relentless. “Oh Ian, don’t stop.”

As soon as the words left her mouth he pulled his fingers out.  Her body quivered at the near climax she had.  Her legs tightened around him dissatisfied at his withdrawal. 

“I know baby.  You want me inside you don’t you?”

Her breathing turned to a pant when he took her nipple into his mouth.  The touch of his hot mouth sent pulses straight to her core.  He nipped and bit at her flesh feeling her body start to tense and then he let go. 

“I can’t Ian.  I can’t wait anymore, please,” she begged.

He pushed inside her. 

“Is this what you wanted baby?”

“Yes, yes, harder.”

He slammed into her giving her exactly what she asked for and in five deep pounding strokes she shattered around him. 

As graduation approached, she had never been more aware of her surroundings and found herself watching everyone around her waiting for that moment that he would show up but graduation came and went with no sign of Stanford.  It wasn’t that she didn’t believe Ian but old habits die hard. 

At breakfast one morning Ian finally addressed the elephant in the room. 

“Nova, I want you to get out of the house and stop hiding.  You will never see him again.  It’s over.  You have my word.  As a matter of fact you be at my office today at noon.”

She was still in her PJ’s when he sent her text shortly after he left for work.

Ian
: Today we practice your interview skills.  Come dressed to impress and be prepared to interview in the corporate world.

What, he had to be kidding.  She replied,

Nova
: You’re not serious are you? I already have a job, did you forget that?

Ian
: Dead serious. No more hiding pretty girl.

She didn’t want to leave the house, she wanted to stay right where she was and besides she was supposed to check in about her job at the end of the week to give them her start date.  He knew that.  Why the hell did he want to play “Interview,” with her?

Her phone whistled again.

Ian
: Email me your resume.

He was completely incorrigible. 

She had no idea just how specific his role playing was going to get but if he wanted her to play a game she would play the best she could.  Running her hands down the front of her pinstripe skirt, she walked into his office flaunting every curvaceous move she could come up with to get his attention.  She wasn’t sure if it was the slim fit of her short skirt or the glimpse of her cleavage he kept looking for in her obsessively low buttoned shirt but she definitely had his attention when she slipped out of her raincoat and hung it behind his door.  She almost wished she had on her dark rimmed glasses to complete her ensemble.  She looked hot and she knew it.  The black stilettos didn’t hurt either.

“Hello Ms. Drake,” he said offering her a hand shake.  “My name is Ian Strong.”

God she couldn’t help but smile.  Ian at the top of his empire made the thoughts in her head as obscene as any thoughts she ever had.  How was it that she had landed this beautiful man? 

“Hello Mr. Strong, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Nova maintained her distance finally sitting down directly across from him his desk.  Only to torture him she took her time slowly uncrossing and re-crossing her legs watching him as he took in her legs.  She wanted so desperately to let her hair down and play naughty teacher but she had a feeling what he had planned would be so much better.

“I understand you are a Harvard grad.  Tell me about your studies.  What course was your strongest and what course was your weakest.”

Well hell, was he serious
? He certainly didn’t look like this was a game.  “Actually Mr. Strong, to be perfectly honest with you I maintained a 100 average in all my courses of study.  I wouldn’t say that I had a weakness or a strength.”

“I see, no modesty, I like that.”

She smiled.

“I have spoken with your Dean. He has told me that you are one of the brightest students he has had but you lack social skills.  What do you have to say about that?”

She felt her cheeks flush.  Holy shit he was serious.  “I would say that being focused has in fact caused me to avoid social interaction however my intentions at Harvard weren’t to be the party girl or socialite on scene.  Mind you this Mr. Strong, despite my dedication to my studies I can be quite social.”

~  ~

Ian sat back in his chair watching her.  He had intentionally pushed her buttons and expected nothing less than for her to fire back at him but she needed a push to keep her feet moving and it couldn’t have come at a more perfect time. 

“Tell me about your hobbies Ms. Drake.” 

He watched the subtle twitch of her nose.  She wasn’t happy but she was going to play along.

“I have a wide variety of hobbies.  I enjoy running
,
I am an avid fan of the outdoors, swimming, hiking and one of my favorites is skeet shooting.”

Ian sat in his chair listening to the made up things that she managed to roll out of her mouth effortlessly.  She had well prepared herself to give the right answers no doubt and if he didn’t know her, he would almost believe her. 

“I must say Ms. Drake, I wouldn’t have guessed you to be a woman who would enjoy holding a shotgun.  Do you shoot often?”

“Unfortunately I don’t.”

She was making this fun for him.  “What is your preference in shotguns?” 

Nova smiled a timid smile waiting just briefly before she answered.  She knew he really thought he had her.  “I can shoot just about anything since it’s been such a long time but if you want to know my favorite, without a doubt a Browning Over and Under.”

Ian looked shocked.  She may have lied about the rest of her hobbies but she was quite familiar with a shotgun. 

“Interesting Ms. Drake but I couldn’t agree with you more.”

Nova wanted to smile but she didn’t. 

“Fortunately this position doesn’t require the use of a shotgun.”

“Do you mind telling me a little more about the position?”

Ian tapped his finger on his desk.  “I am taking a new business directive in the internet technology arena.  Specifically I am in negotiations to purchase an upcoming internet security company.  I understand internet security is a focus of yours.  Am I correct?” 

Funny,
she thought.  “Mr. Strong, you are correct.  Technology and programming are hobbies of mine.”

Ian didn’t let up.  “Hobbies, well certainly you must realize I’m not looking to hire someone for a hobby.  Apparently I was misinformed.”  Ian stood from his desk.

Damn, he wasn’t playing around. 
“I’m sorry Mr. Strong, hobby wasn’t the best choice of words.” 

He motioned for her to continue and sat back down.

“Someone told me once that I should have gone to MIT but Harvard was a better suit for me.  I have a very strong interest and am more than capable of handling the affairs of internet securities.  I chose Harvard because my top interest was earning an MBA so that I could one day run a company of my own.  Computer skills only get you so far.  I wanted the business degree to complete the package.  May I ask what company you are in negotiations with or is that not yet public knowledge?”

“Not at all.  I just this morning finalized the purchase of Lions Gate.  Are you familiar with it by chance?”

Nova smiled.  He had done his homework.  “Actually yes I am.  I have no personal experience with their software but I know they were featured in Forbes a few months ago.  It’s a private company, isn’t it?”

“Yes it is.  I have been in negotiations for weeks so you can understand my desire to get moving quickly.  It’s a New York based company but I intend to move the headquarters to Boston.”

“I don’t think you could have made a better choice.  I find the smaller companies are more reliable, efficient or flawless perhaps in comparison to some of the other companies that I do in fact have personal experience with.”

“Why do you think that is Ms. Drake?”

In the moment of our pretend interview I lost focus that it was pretend.  “Internet security is an ever evolving minute to minute business.  With all the advancements and quite frankly absurd amount of hackers, I think the smaller companies hold up better because they don’t lose insight into the main goal of maintaining a security company with a high efficiency rate.  Let’s face it, there are preteens capable of hacking into major companies.  Small companies don’t seem to lose the focus of the main objective.  They can’t afford to, if they do they lose.  Large company’s especially global ones can take a hit and keep on moving.”

“My thoughts exactly Ms. Drake.”

I smiled.  I was having a fantastic time and the idea that I wasn’t social had long sense left my mind. 

Ian’s phone buzzed.  “Mr. Strong, your 1:30 wants to reschedule for 4:00.  Is this alright or should I postpone it until tomorrow.”

“No, 4:00 is fine.  If you haven’t ordered our lunch please do so.”

Ian and I spent the better part of the next half hour bantering around about benefits, responsibilities, job duties, his expectations finally ending when his secretary brought in lunch and retreated back to her desk.

Ian stood, “Ms. Drake, I would like to thank you for coming in today.”

Nova gathered her purse and brief case and walked towards the door.  “I appreciate your time as well as your consideration Mr. Strong.”  Nova reached to shake his hand when Ian pulled her in close.

“Ms. Drake, may I make a suggestion regarding your interview.”

Nova batted her eye lashes, “Yes Sir.”

“Next time don’t act so eager to fuck the boss.”

Nova dropped her purse and brief case.  “But what if there isn’t anything else that I want more, sir?”

Ian stepped into her feeling her breath quicken.  “Well then, I only see fit to give you what you want.”

~  ~

Ian fell back into his chair starring at Nova sprawled across his desk.  “Nova, what is it about this desk that gets you on all fours so easily?”

Nova sat up swinging her legs around to face him.  Had his eyes been on hers she would have answered but since they were obviously staring straight at her panties she sat her feet down in his chair and pulled him closer to her.  “Eyes up here, Mr. Strong.”

He sat up pulling her down into his lap.  “Tomorrow you are coming to work with me Nova and every day after.”

“I told you already you would get very little work done with me here.  The empire would fall and we would be living on the street.” 

“Sounds like I need to put your ass to work then doesn’t it?”

Nova buried her face in his chest realizing what he had done in bringing her here.  “Thank you for getting my head back on straight.”

Ian gently lifted her face to his.  “Anytime baby.”

“Are you mad at me for how I have behaved?”

“No, it was just time to get you out of your pajamas.  I was worried you were going to start bringing cats home soon if I didn’t make you get out of the house,” he smirked.

“I wasn’t that bad was I?”

“Nova, you have to trust me that I will always take care of you.  You are mine baby.  I will never let him hurt you again.”

“I know.  It’s just hard to let go of the ghosts sometimes Ian.  They seem to always follow me.”

After lunch Nova sat down at Ian’s desk.  She couldn’t help herself.  The feel of the power was overwhelmingly enticing.  She moved the mouse surprised to see the Lions gate icon on Ian’s desktop.  “Ian, you were serious.  You are using Lions Gate now?”

He smiled and sat down across from her.  “Someone suggested that I should procure a different internet security company.”

“You actually listened to me?”  Nova shot her eyes to his.

“Babe, my IT department had been working on that problem for two days when you walked in here and took 10 seconds to tell me what was wrong.  I was going to fire my entire team until you made me see differently.”

“You really wouldn’t have done that would you? I mean it wasn’t your IT guy’s fault.  It’s not like he had access to the program itself.”

“But you did?”

Nova bit her lip.  “Look Ian, you don’t want my skill set used in your company.  I know what I did was wrong but just because I was able to find a weak link doesn’t mean you would ever want your IT department working like I have.  It’s not ethical and certainly not legal.  That is unless you like to wear stripes.”

Ian laughed.  “Somehow I didn’t expect you to give me an ethics lecture when you are a known hacker Nova.”

“Like I said, what I did was wrong but I had my reasons.  It’s kept my ass in the clear many times and I don’t regret what I did.”

“What you did or what you are still doing,” he asked.

Nova clicked on the Lions Gate icon.  She always liked the Lions Head feature of their logo.  “You made a good choice with this software.  I use it myself.”

“You didn’t answer my question Nova.  How often are you getting in his computer?”

“Does it matter?”  It’s not like she was hiding anything from him.  He knew what she had been doing.  She had never hid that from him.

“It stops today Nova.  That computer of yours is on permanent vacation.  Do you understand me?”  Ian was more cross than she had seen him.

“I know.  I have to let all of it go.  It’s just very hard to forget fear Ian.”

“Do you believe me when I say that I will never let anyone hurt you?”

She felt bad.  “Ian it has nothing to do with me doubting you or my safety with you.  Like I said, it’s hard to forget fear.  I don’t know that I will ever feel like he isn’t a threat to me.”