Finding You (5 page)

“Good.” I smiled, knowing that we were okay made me feel much better “So I will see you at the party tomorrow?” I asked.

“Yeah, I’ll see you there Neva.” He said as he ran his hand through his hair, causing it to stand on end, making him look even more impossibly sexy. Stop it, Neva!

Nodding, I jumped out of the Jeep, waving at Logan as he drove away, making his way to the dorm he shared with Tate. Sighing, I started walking towards my mom’s porch, running that kiss over and over in my mind. Shit!

“Neva, is that you sweetheart?” I heard my mom holler from the back yard, she must have heard Logan’s truck pull up.

“Yeah, it’s me, momma.” I shouted, staring up at the two story house that stood before me.

After dad died, our world was turned upside down and inside out, mom was struggling and was such a mess for so long. The heartbreak was like a dark smog resting heavily on her shoulders, the unforgiving turmoil she was facing was apparent, both physically and emotionally.

It was a couple of days after my father’s funeral when I noticed something was wrong. Suddenly, Tate was cleaning the house, ironing clothes and cooking dinner. He had taken some of the extra weight from mom to help her cope, to help her grieve for the husband she lost so tragically, and far too soon.

But mom’s grief started taking its toll on us, the house, the bills, our relationships. Tate tried to help as much as he could, but he was still just a kid himself. He picked up a paper route and gave mom all the cash from that just to make ends meet. He used his weekends to clean cars and mow lawns just to earn that little bit extra for mom, to try and keep a roof over our heads. But the cracks were showing quickly. Without my father’s income and mom not being able to get out of bed some days, the bills started to take over.

Tate was freaking out, I had no idea what was going on, but he was saying something about having to move away and leave all our friends behind. On top of the grief we were trying to get through, this was something we didn’t need. I remember a man coming to the house, I didn’t know who he was, but he had a business suit on and didn’t look too happy. Tate pulled me away from the door and told me to go to my room, stopping me from seeing the man. But, I was intrigued. I sat on the staircase, watching as Tate slammed the door in the man’s face. My brother’s tears threatened to spill, wiping his nose quickly with the back of his sleeve. A mixture of pain and anger quickly taking over his features, he picked up a pile of papers and charged up the staircase, his footsteps loud against the wooden floor above me. I quickly realized he was in mom’s bedroom, the usual loud creak of her door penetrating my ears. I don’t know what Tate had done or said to mom that day, but only three hours later, the house was up for sale and mom was back in the kitchen, cooking.

In six weeks the house was sold, the bills were paid, and we had moved into a smaller house just three streets away. To this day, I still have no idea what Tate had said or done when he walked into mom’s bedroom, but what I do know is that whatever happened … He brought our mom back.

Now, standing on my mom’s porch, I looked over the house that we lived in as a family of three. It was just as stunning as the day we moved in. The white panels showcased large bay windows on the bottom story, while smaller matching windows lined the second. A large, wooden porch wrapped around the entire house, enfolding around it perfectly, as if embracing it in a warm hug. Moving my gaze, my eyes landed on the beautiful front garden. It was pruned and weeded to an inch of its life, but my god, I never tired of seeing the amazing technicolor of flowers that lay perfectly within the soil. I smiled, knowing my mom would have already pruned and watered the front garden and was now probably in the back doing the same thing.

“Can you bring me the Lavender on your way around, sweetie?” Mom shouted, pulling me out of my thoughts.

“Sure, momma.”

Mom had picked up gardening as soon as we moved here ten years ago. She said she needed a hobby, I guess it was her way of keeping busy when she wasn’t working. Before dad died, she had worked as a successful project manager of a large interior design firm, but when tragedy struck our family, mom left. Once the house sold and we paid everything off, mom had enough money to start up her own small business within the small town. She was now the most sought after interior designer in Spring Water.

Picking up the lavender from the porch bench, I made my way around to the back yard, the scent of the flowers made me smile. Mom always smelt like lavender. Stopping just short of the gate that surrounded the back yard, I watched as mom crouched down on the ground. Digging in the freshly laid soil with a content smile on her face, I stood and admired the woman who had done so much for Tate and me since my father’s death.

Lorena James was stunningly beautiful, with naturally wavy blonde hair and piercing green eyes, she was striking. Even with the amount of baking she does, she still manages to keep her perfect figure that matches her 5ft 6in frame.

I watched as she stopped digging and took in her garden, smiling. It seemed she had an eye for landscaping too. The garden was by no means huge, maybe around a fifth of an acre, but with mom’s design ideas she managed to make it look a lot bigger. She had planted a wide range of flowers, all perfectly arranged by color and tone, which trailed down the left side of the garden, while on the right stood the small oak tree that held a lot of memories. The tree was surrounded by a man-made pond, with its own mini waterfall. It was breathtaking. And when the sun fell, the whole garden would light up with beautiful little fairy lights. It was mom’s little piece of paradise.

“Here you go.” I said, kneeling down beside her on the ground.

Her blonde hair was pulled back into a messy up-do, the loose strands of hair framing her gorgeous face, but keeping it from hiding her beautiful eyes. She wore faded jeans that were ripped at the knees, with an old college shirt that showed off her perfect curves. She may be digging up mud and getting her hands dirty, but she still looked awesome.

“Thank you darlin’.” She said before sighing, the southern twang in her voice raspy from the humid air. “No Tate?” She asked, not once taking her eyes from the ground as she carried on making holes for the lavender to be placed in. She knew he wouldn’t come, but she still asked every time.

“I’m sorry.” I could only apologize for him. I had no idea why Tate stayed away from mom’s. He would only come around on the holidays, and even then it was only because I forced him. It was like he didn’t want to acknowledge mom. I hated having to watch the disappointment flash before her eyes. I have no idea what goes through that head of his sometimes.

“It’s okay.” She muttered, clearly upset. “So, how is school?” She asked, swiftly changing the subject.

“Interesting.” I replied, watching as she placed a small lavender tree into one of the holes she had dug.

“Oh, how so?” Oh, shit. My answer had clearly caught mom’s interest, and she was using her ‘discreet’ way of finding out what we were up to. I wasn’t falling for it.

“Oh nothing much, I met a couple of guys, had hot and dirty sex on the football field with Coach Carter, got drunk on beer and whiskey and bet fifty bucks that I could become pregnant before the week is out …” I trailed off.

“Neva James!” She shrieked, dropping her spade and whipping her head around into my direction. The shocked look on her face was so dramatic that I couldn’t hold the laugh that was ready to escape my mouth.

“I’m sorry, but that was just too easy!” I said, gasping for air between laughing so hard at my mom’s reaction.

“That wasn’t nice, Neva.” She scolded, desperately trying to keep a straight face before giving in and laughing along with me, holding her stomach as she chuckled. “You know I worry about you guys.” She said as she pulled me in for a hug, the sincerity in her voice disarming.

“I know.” I mumbled, understanding her need to protect us. We were all she had left, and when Tate doesn’t show up … It hits her hard.

“Come on, I made lemonade.” She said, pulling me up from the ground, her hand wrapped within mine as we walked through the patio doors and into the house.

Stepping straight into the kitchen from the back yard, the room quickly cooled my skin from the humid air outside. Toeing my boots off at the door, I smiled as I watched mom put her apron on. A grin on her face as she moved around the kitchen effortlessly, pulling out the scales for measuring out flour for her next creation. She slowly wiped her flour-covered hands on her apron as she set the flour aside, bending down to open the oven door. My nostrils suddenly awakened as I was hit with the most heavenly scent, chocolate. Peering over her shoulder, she revealed hot, mouthwatering chocolate cupcakes. The scent alone took me back to a time when we were a family of four, the day of my seventh birthday. Dad was setting up streamers and balloons in the garden of our old house, quietly cursing to himself as he pinned his thumb for the sixth time that morning. Mom was in the kitchen fixing up all the party food, while Logan and I were hiding out in my room, sharing one of my mom’s incredible cupcakes.

Mom had warned each and every one of us that if we touched any of the food before the guests arrived, she would never make chocolate sponge pudding again. It was a threat we all took seriously. But I couldn’t resist mom’s cupcakes, they were completely out of this world. Deciding to take a chance, I sneaked into the kitchen when nobody was around, quietly making my way towards those tempting cupcakes, when I heard someone clear their throat. Turning around, I saw Logan, both hands behind his back with a cheeky grin spread across his face. Slowly his hands came into view, showing me exactly what he was hiding. Two chocolate cupcakes, one for me and one for him.

“Honey, did you hear me?” Mom asked, ripping through my thoughts.

“Oh, sorry mom. I zoned out, what did you say?”

“I said a letter came for you, it’s on the table.” She replied, shaking her head and rolling her eyes at me.

“Oh, thanks.” Picking up the letter, I quickly glanced at it before stuffing it into my pocket, I’ll open it later. I just wanted to sink my teeth into one of those out-of-this-world cupcakes.

But before I could take a bite, my phone suddenly chimed, alerting me to a new text. Pulling my phone from my pocket, I slid my finger across the screen, revealing a text from Logan.

Logan: Need a ride home?

I had to re-read it twice. I thought he was going back to the dorm?

Me: I thought you went home?

His reply was immediate.

Logan: Went for a drive. Ride?

Smiling, I replied, feeling thankful that there was no weirdness between us.

Me: Sure.

Logan: Be there in 10.

Me: Mom made cupcakes.

Logan: Be there in 5 …

I grinned as I placed my phone back into my pocket. Logan had the biggest sweet tooth ever, especially when it came to my mom’s cupcakes.

With a minute to spare, Logan pulled up just as I was hugging mom. Tears formed in my eyes as she held me tighter, as if she didn’t want to let go. I needed to come home more often, I hated mom being on her own.

“I’ll call you soon, mom.” I said as I pressed a kiss to her cheek.

“Okay sweetie.” She said before turning towards Logan. “Drive safe.”

We all knew the meaning behind those words. Mom had sold the car after dad died and hasn’t stepped foot in a car ever since. Relying solely on buses and trains couldn’t be easy, but she made it work, never once complaining.

“Bye, mom,” I said over my shoulder as I made my way around to Logan’s jeep and climbed in. Smiling, I waved good-bye to mom, tightness pulling at my chest as I noticed wrinkles sitting at the edge her eyes, the brightness of the summer sun forcing me to take notice. How had I not noticed them before? The pain and suffering she has to endure daily from the loss of my father had clearly started to take its toll on her. Blowing a kiss out of the window, I sighed as we pulled out of the driveway and headed back to campus.

“Got you a present,” I said turning to Logan, revealing a chocolate cupcake that I had been hiding behind my back, just like he had done all those years ago.

“Thank you.” He smiled, taking the cupcake out of my hands before sinking his teeth into the chocolate centered cupcake. I watched as he chewed, this throat muscles moving as he swallowed, making my heartbeat flutter.

Sitting back in my seat I was trying to control my increasing heart rate when I felt something land in my lap. Looking down, a smile slowly formed on my face. It was half a cupcake. Turning my gaze to Logan, I couldn’t help but notice a saddened expression on his face, his brows furrowed as he tapped his thumb against the steering wheel.

“You okay?” I asked. He only nodded in response, keeping his eyes trained on the road ahead.

The rest of the drive was silent, the air becoming thick and prickly between us. It was weird. I was just about to ask Logan what was going on when he quickly turned on the radio, blasting some sort of rock music I had never heard before.