The last thing LeeAnn expected was for Fionn O’Shea to kiss her. In her experience, men like him simply weren’t interested in women like her. Not really. Unfortunately, the second he swept his tongue into her mouth, LeeAnn could have cared less about his motives. She was…changed. Altered. Something inside her seemed to click into place. She had to have more.
Eagerly, she met his tongue with a lick of her own, moaning into his mouth. Dimly, she had the thought that he was probably used to worldly women. Women whose touch was practiced, who knew well how to pleasure a man and pleasure him well. LeeAnn hadn’t ever really given sex much thought. She’d experimented in high school, but nothing had ever stimulated her as much as math and science so she’d given up on it, figuring she just wasn’t a sexual person. Now, she had to rethink that assumption. Perhaps she’d just needed the right man.
Every nerve ending in her body seemed to surge to life, pleasure filling all the holes inside her she’d never known were there. It was as if pieces of herself had been missing and this man was filling them with molten heat and raw sensuality. Just his kiss alone was enough to make her crazed with desire. There was no way LeeAnn could prevent herself from not only kissing him back, but from clinging to him and begging for more.
Her frenzy seemed to fuel Fionn’s own lusts. Wicked thrusts of his tongue were soon followed by nips with his teeth. His hands seemed to be everywhere, shaping her body as if he had to touch her everywhere at once. The next thing she knew, his big, rough hands were at her sides, yanking up her shirt as he slid them up her bare skin. The slight scrape of his palms was the most erotic sensation she’d ever experienced. Even more than his kiss. She knew he was about to touch her places few men had ventured and she ached for it.
At the first touch of his thumb over her nipple, LeeAnn arched her back and screamed. Her pussy clenched, moisture rushing to ready her for his body. Fionn growled as he whipped the shirt from her body only to wrap his arms around her and latch on to her nipple with his lips. Again, sensation seemed to swamp LeeAnn, nothing making sense except that she had to have this. The pleasure he could give her was unlike any she’d ever experienced and she was, indeed, starving for it, as Benita had observed.
“Fuck!” Fionn’s coarse interjection echoed loudly in the room as he let her go long enough to strip his own shirt from his body. LeeAnn was helpless not to touch him. All that rigid, muscled flesh jumped at her touch. When she raked her nails down his torso, he hissed in a breath, letting his head fall back on his shoulders. Tendons and veins stood out in relief from his neck to his chest and shoulders, evidence of the strain he felt. When he met her gaze again, his green eyes burned with a fiery passion she’d never before witnessed. Instead of scaring her, it only excited her more. If she didn’t stop this, she knew he was going to fuck her. And, right now, she wasn’t sure she wanted him to stop.
Once free of his shirt, Fionn lifted her, urging her to wrap her legs around his waist. Crawling up onto the bed, he laid her down with his body pressing her into the mattress. LeeAnn found she loved the weight of him pinning her down, loved how heavy and big his body was compared to her own. She was naked beneath him. He was clad only in his jeans. As he settled over her, he lifted his head enough to look into her eyes. His were full of lust and confused desire. LeeAnn knew she had much the same expression in her own eyes but didn’t know how to adequately describe to him what she felt or needed.
“If you don’t want this, tell me now. Once I start, I’m not stopping until you’re well and truly fucked,” Fionn said with a hoarse rasp to his voice. Forming words or even a coherent thought was impossible. All she could do was nod as she threaded her fingers through his hair and pulled him back to her.
He didn’t hesitate to take her mouth again, thrusting his tongue over and over, seeking hers to suck into his own mouth. Once LeeAnn figured out what he wanted, she responded eagerly, whimpering helplessly as she writhed against him. Sweat slickened their skin, making them slide together erotically. As LeeAnn clung to him, Fionn took her to a world of dark sensuality she’d never dreamed existed. Her breasts ached. Her clit throbbed. And LeeAnn simply let him take over, losing herself in this unfamiliar place she knew she’d forever crave like a drug.
Fionn had no idea what was driving him. All he knew was an unholy lust had seized him and he was going to have this woman writhing so sweetly in his arms. She had no inhibitions whatsoever. Gone was the modest, backward woman he’d taken from the Irish. In her place was a wanton, more passionate and needy than any woman he’d ever paid for sex. She was real. Full of life. And she wanted him with a need as desperate as his own.
He licked his way down her body, enjoying her cries when he nipped one nipple. Then he nipped the other one before sucking it into his mouth and drawing strongly. The bite of her nails as she dug them into his shoulders was like spurs urging him on. In a frenzy, Fionn trailed his lips down her body until he got to her sex. She was panting as hard as he was as she raised herself up on her elbows to watch. Fionn met her gaze as he lowered his face to her cunt and took his first taste.
Bliss! Musky, honeyed delight greeted him with a wet rush when his tongue made its first swipe. Her head fell back on a cry. All that dark skin glistened with a fine sheen of sweat. She trembled beneath his touch, thrusting her hips to get her sex closer to his mouth. Finally, she fell back on the bed, bracing her feet on the mattress so she could raise herself to meet his tongue.
“Oh, God!” she cried brokenly as he flicked her clit several times, fluttering over the sensitive nub. “What are you doing to me?”
“Are you going to come for me?”
“I don’t…ah, God, I don’t know!”
“Never come before?” There was no way to hide his surprise. His first instinct was to call her a liar, but he deep down, he realized she was telling the truth. His little sex kitten was so driven in academics perhaps she had neglected her sexual needs.
“I—no. I didn’t think I could.” She was panting now, her breaths coming in rapid, shallow gasps. As Fionn met her gaze, looking up at her from her cunt, LeeAnn’s eyes were wild, almost terrified. “Fionn! Help me!”
“Just let it happen, baby. Come for me.”
With a long, loud scream, she did. Her clit throbbed beneath his tongue in time with the contractions of her orgasm. Moisture rushed from her, letting him know she was ready for him even as she continued to come. Fionn couldn’t shove his pants down fast enough. As it was, he got them to his knees before mounting her and shoving himself inside her.
LeeAnn cried out. He couldn’t tell if it was with pleasure or pain so he stilled, ready to pull out of her. But she dug her heels into his ass and held him inside her as she adjusted. She clamped her teeth between his neck and shoulder, which was almost his undoing. Tremors still ran through her body, making her shiver in his arms, but she didn’t ask him to stop or to let her up so he figured any discomfort was minimal. Or at least not bad enough she couldn’t deal. It had definitely been a while since she’d had sex. If she were any tighter, he doubted he’d have been able to fit inside her. As it was, it was all he could do to hold himself still and not fuck her with all the force of his lust.
When she began to move on him, Fionn gave a shallow pump of his hips, forcing himself to go slow. Each contraction of her little pussy felt like she was strangling him. While he was glad she wasn’t a virgin, there was an unexpected, and unwelcome, satisfaction in knowing she hadn’t had frequent lovers. Which was when he realized he was resting his forehead against hers while they both tried to adjust to the unfamiliar sensations.
He was just about to lift himself off her, to separate himself from her mentally and physically—except for his dick in her pussy—when she opened those big brown eyes of hers, looking directly into his own eyes, and…smiled. Framing his face with her small hands, she pulled him back to her for a kiss, and Fionn knew he was lost.
Instead of putting distance between them, Fionn found himself wrapping his arms around her tightly, one hand looped over her shoulder from beneath, the other wrapped tightly around her back. LeeAnn was as snug against him as possible when he began an easy, driving rhythm that soon turned into a hard, steady pounding. Through it all, she never broke eye contact, never wavered in her focus on him. When her breaths became ragged and her heart pounded so hard he could feel its steady beat against his chest, Fionn shifted slightly, bring one of her legs up to hook over his arm. The new position gave him better access to her when he tilted his hips just a little. He brushed over her clit with every stroke, wringing shudders and keening cries from her.
LeeAnn screamed again, her arms wrapped around him as tightly as his were holding onto her. With her orgasm and the sweet milking of her pussy, Fionn knew it was over for him.
His balls tightened. His cock swelled. Then, with one mind-scrambling spasm, he came. There was no way she didn’t feel him spurting inside her. He gave a brutal shout, his body helpless above her. Fionn couldn’t move, couldn’t think. The pleasure was nothing like he’d ever known or imagined. All those times he’d thought he’d known release with women he’d personally chosen, women he’d thought were the perfect bed partners both in form and sexual taste, paled in comparison to this. Hell, he might as well have been a virgin the differences were so vast.
Finding LeeAnn… He’d only thought he’d thawed his emotions when he’d had sex. Compared to this, everything he’d done in the past only emphasized how cold and unfeeling he’d really become.
With a stunned mind, unable to process everything that had just happened, Fionn rolled off LeeAnn. He lay there trying to get a grip on himself and his emotions when she stirred beside him.
Turning his head, Fionn glanced at her. She looked as stunned as he felt. But there was something else in her expression. Something like…awe.
Oh, bloody hell, no!
Like a shot, Fionn sat up, standing so fast he nearly tripped on his pants, which were still around his knees. With jerky movements, he pulled them up, fastening them on the way to the bathroom.
What the fuck had just happened?
Fionn splashed cold water over his face, scrubbing it with his hands for good measure. Truth was, no matter how hard he scrubbed he knew there was no way he’d ever get little LeeAnn Bates out of his mind. With one mind-blowing fuck, she’d filled in all the spaces in his heart. Allowed him to truly feel for the first time since he was a teenager.
So what the fuck did he do now?
What just happened? When Fionn had let out that war bellow and collapsed over her, LeeAnn had felt contentment and satisfaction unlike any she’d ever known. Not only had he taken her through a plane of utter bliss, but he’d guided her toward a path of sensual delight she could never stray from. LeeAnn need those sensations like an addict needed his next fix. Already her body stirred for more, her cunt weeping for his attention.
The he’d…left. Fionn hadn’t been able to get away from her fast enough. Gingerly, she stood from the bed. Finding his shirt discarded on the floor, she shrugged into it, then moved to the bathroom, following him. Fionn was drying his hands, his expression completely blank.
“Did I do something wrong?” She tried to ask the question as if his answer really didn’t matter. But it did. She was already embarrassed at her level of inexperience. To think he hadn’t enjoyed what she’d considered life altering was too humiliating for words.
He met her gaze in the mirror. Gone was the intense and fiery passionate lover of a few minutes before. In his place was that man who’d seen too much death. Those eyes that had held so much feeling before, the eyes that told her how much he needed her in that moment, were now cold. Dead. He’d flipped a switch inside himself and she was afraid she’d never again find the man she’d just wholeheartedly given her body to.
“No,” Fionn said simply. But there was nothing simple about it. There was so much going on inside Fionn, LeeAnn had no idea where to begin.
Slowly, one hand extended to him as she might approach a wild animal, LeeAnn stepped closer to him. Of course, he didn’t move away. That would show weakness on his part. So she laid her palm gently on his cheek, cupping his face tenderly.
“Please don’t leave me,” she whispered. “I don’t know what just happened between us, but it was wonderful.”
He gripped her wrist, removing her hand. Expression never changing, he said, “We fucked. That’s all that happened.”
LeeAnn couldn’t have been more surprised if he’d struck her. She jerked a little in reaction. Stepped back two steps as if he’d shoved her backward. “I thought…” She lifted her chin. “It felt like more than a simple fuck.”
“What would you call it then?” His smirk, instead of sexy like it had been in the bar, was now a cruel twist of his lips. “Making love?” He gave the phrase a distasteful slur. As if the latter description of their act was even cruder than the former.
“I know people don’t experience that kind of pleasure with someone every day. Or the connection.”
He laughed then, throwing his towel on the vanity where he’d been washing and drying his hands. The gesture hurt almost as much as his words. He’d washed his hands of her.
“You’re delusional. I knew you were a little simple minded when it came to the real world, but really, LeeAnn. Killing time until your father does as he’s told is hardly the basis for a relationship.”
He was right. She knew he was right, but LeeAnn couldn’t control the pain blossoming inside her chest. Unpracticed with emotions this raw, there was no way to stop the single tear that slid down her cheek. Not wanting Fionn to see her weakness, she turned to leave, but he brushed past her. Over his shoulder he said, “Bathroom’s all yours.”
Alone, LeeAnn angrily jerked off his shirt. The last thing she wanted was to wear his clothing. But even once she was free of the offending garment, she was still enveloped by his scent. Which only increased her distress. Before she realized it, several tears streamed down her face. Angrily, she dashed them away with the back of her hand before turning on the shower. She needed to scrub herself clean.
It took twenty minutes, but she finally got herself under control and clean. It was in that cleaning she discovered what she should have known all along. When Foinn had said she was “simple minded about the real world,” he had been dead on. They hadn’t used protection. And Fionn had definitely come inside her.
***
Never had Fionn failed to use protection during sex. He’d come
inside LeeAnn…and it had felt like a homecoming. Like he was supposed to claim her for his own. The ice inside him was steadily thawing and it was an uncomfortable feeling in the extreme.
He’d always thought of his detachment as a curse. What he’d felt during sex had been his way of reclaiming everything all the killing had taken away from him. He’d thought meaningless sex and the rush he got from it had been the glue holding his soul together. If that were true, he’d just had an infusion of molten metal to fill in those gaps and holes permanently. More than that, LeeAnn had formed a layer of steel around his soul that could never be ripped apart. It was in that moment of clarity, Fionn realized he really hadn’t been feeling during sex. He did nothing on the spur of the moment. He didn’t even come unless he was good and ready. Yet, with LeeAnn, everything had been out of control. Including—no, especially—him.
“I need my clothes,” she said quietly. Fionn turned around to find her wrapped in a towel with another one draped over her shoulders. She showed very little skin, careful to hold both towels in place so they couldn’t slip. This time, she didn’t meet his gaze, but looked off to one side, as if she couldn’t stand the sight of him.
“I left you a shirt,” he said, that stupid pain in his chest tightening and worsening once again.
Lifting her chin, she said defiantly, “I want my clothes.”
“Well, they’re in the wash.” He shrugged as he spoke. “It’s my shirt or nothing.”
Her little hands balled into fists. “I want. My clothes. Now.” It sounded like she spoke through gritted teeth.
“It’s either that shirt or the towels.” He shrugged. “Your choice.”
“Why are you doing this? I don’t want to wear your clothing. Why do you want me to wear your shirt anyway? I’d think you’d want to be a bit more impersonal since all we were doing was passing the time.”
“You’re right,” he said before he could stop himself. His voice was quiet, probably because he hadn’t really meant to say it out loud.
She blinked at him, obviously startled at his response. “Excuse me?”
Fionn sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face as he sank onto the bed. “I’m sorry, he admitted with little difficulty. The fact that he’d apologized at all was more than a little amazing. Fionn never apologized. At least, not to anyone other than his brothers. “Look. Let’s start over. I’ll admit I was a bit…harsh a while ago.”
“Start over?” She looked incredulous. “Start over from what? From you drugging me? From you kidnapping me? Or maybe from your scathing insults over my intellect?” The more she talked, the louder she got, the more furious she looked. And, damn, if that whole package didn’t make him want her all the more. Even now, his cock strained for her, needing the connection as much as his mind did. “I admit, I’m a bit consumed with my studies and research. But you can’t tell me what we experienced earlier was something normal. That was more than simply ‘passing the time,’ as you put it. I don’t expect a relationship to form from that one encounter, but I’d thought we’d at least talk about it or, at the
very
least, be civil to each other. If you felt half as good as I did, you’d want to experience it again, I’d think. You know, ‘pass the time’ some more.”
Fionn
knew
this! He
did
want to experience it again. Hell, he wanted that relationship she’d hinted at, but how to express that without seeming weak? Especially after he’d insulted her so horribly. Always in the back of his mind was the fact that fear equaled respect. But if he wanted something more from her—even if it was only a fuck buddy—could he really expect her to fear him? Did he even want her to fear him?
“I was wrong to say those things to you, LeeAnn. And you’re right. You may not be as world wise as I am, but what we experienced isn’t something that happens every day.”
“Then why were you so cruel?” When she sounded so hurt, her eyes glistening with unshed tears, Fionn thought his heart would be ripped from his chest.
He’d
done that to her. He’d never cared before. Could never be bothered because he was ice inside. No longer.
“Because I’m an ass,” he muttered. “And because you caught me off guard. You were supposed to be a means to an end. Snag you. Tell your father to back off. Release you. This”—he pointed from himself to her and back again—“was never supposed to happen.”
“Then why did it?”
“Fuck if I know.” There was a pause when both of them studiously looked away from each other. Fionn glanced at her only to find her staring at her bare toes as she fiddled with the carpet. “How about I get us dinner? You’ve got to be starving, and we could both use the distraction. You could tell me about your research.”
“I can’t. It’s classified.” She didn’t even bat an eyelash. Where before Fionn had seen complete trust, now she hedged, not trusting him even a little.
“You don’t work for the government. You’re a student.”
“I am. But the research we do in aerospace is invaluable to many factions. Though we don’t officially work for any government, most of our research is used by someone working for the government. So, naturally, there are all kinds of non-disclosure agreements and security classifications. It’s where they get their grant money. Not only that, but if something I’m working on does happen to end up in the United States arsenal, they’d frown on me flaunting all the juicy details. Oh.” She gave him a wide-eyed innocent look. “And I’d really like to not get kidnapped and tortured for information.”
Foinn scowled. “I’d never do that.”
“Wouldn’t you?”
OK, yeah. He would if it was necessary. “I don’t torture women,” was the only thing he could come up with.
“No. You seduce them to get what you want.”
“That wasn’t what happened, LeeAnn.” This was so frustrating! The fact was, she was absolutely right in her estimation of him. She just didn’t know the extent of it. He was a killer. Stone cold. Merciless.
“Really?” She sighed, turning from him. “I supposed it was as much my fault as it was yours. I didn’t rebuff you.”
“It was nobody’s fault. It just happened.” How could he sound so rational when he felt anything but? Inside, he was aching to pull her into his arms again. To experience all that passion he had before.
“Well then. I suppose there’s no reason for a repeat. I’ll make sure to get the Morning After pill from my pharmacy as soon as you let me go. But if it’s going to be a while, you might want to get it for me.”
Unable to suppress a sigh, Fionn acknowledged, “I suppose we needed to address that.” He didn’t want her pregnant, but if she did conceive, he wanted her to know he’d take care of her however she saw fit. His own father could have cared less that he’d gotten a bastard on his and Shannon’s mother. He’d only taken an interest in them to further his business exploits. But, if Fionn had gotten LeeAnn pregnant, he was damned well going to be active in the child’s life if she wanted to keep it. He’d love, cherish, and protect any child of his as well as the child’s mother. “Just so you know, I’ve never had unprotected sex and I’ve never used drugs. My last physical was six months ago and I’m clean.”
She shrugged, though he’d seen the widening of her eyes. Yeah, simple minded might not have been the best choice of words but she was definitely not used to having to think about such things. Which only made him wonder what she did with all that passion inside her.
“I—I’ve not had a physical in a while, but I haven’t had sex in a really long time. And never without a condom.” She seemed embarrassed about that, but Fionn felt something loosen inside his chest. Was that relief? Possessiveness? What the fuck? After so long of not giving a damn, all this shit with LeeAnn was mind numbing in its intensity.
“I gathered that,” he said in a rush. “I’m not worried. I only told you to ease your mind.”
She turned away from him, going to the window. With a delicate hand, she pushed back the heavy drape, gazing out into the night. Silvery moonlight bathed her face, making her look like some kind of angel. It also glistened off a tear that had slid down her cheek. Like the first one a few minutes ago, this one seemed to stab him in the chest, an accusation.