Firewall (13 page)

Again, the tender feelings crept back through him, especially when their hands accidentally brushed at one point.

Calder looked so beautiful that night, although he always looked beautiful. Justin loved how in awe he seemed to be of their surroundings, too. He was particularly interested in the view of the mountain range. He gushed about the hiking and rock-climbing trips he had taken through mountains before.

Hearing Calder being so passionate about his past adventures made Justin happy. Calder was relaxed and enjoying himself.

Oh, he wanted to hold Calder’s hand
so much
. His eyes kept flickering down to Calder’s hand but he didn’t have the courage to follow through.

He wasn’t sure how long they had observed the Emerald City from above but it was soon time to head back to the hotel. Neither of them were the type to go out and party the night away. Well, Justin wasn’t. He suspected that maybe Calder didn’t want to go out partying that night either, since he had done enough of that when he had worked with Underwood.

N
ow
Justin was
beyond exhausted and it seemed like Calder was, too. He was as alert as ever but was a little less talkative and didn’t seem to be exerting himself more than he had to.

“And then it’s up and early for the rest of the convention tomorrow,” Justin groaned as he grabbed his pajamas from the foot of the bed and moved toward the bathroom.

“You know, if you want to change out here, you can. I promise I won’t look,” Calder laughed.

Justin blushed as he cleared his throat. “If you really don’t mind, I suppose that’s okay.”

Justin hardly knew what to do with himself. Was he supposed to face him? Or would that be too awkward? Was this supposed to be a sexy thing or an innocent thing?

“If it makes you feel more comfortable, I can change at the same time,” Calder insisted.

Oh, yes, please.

Justin nodded, now transfixed by Calder as the sexy man stood by the side of the bed and began undressing before him. He slid his fingers along the buttons, popping them free one by one. Justin was so fixated on Calder’s fingers and the revelation of his chest that he didn’t even think about meeting his gaze.

Then the shirt was free, revealing a white undershirt. Calder peeled the dress shirt away, sliding it off his arms. As he did, Justin’s eyes trailed over the muscles there. Calder wasn’t bulging like those insane men at gyms but he was very well built.

Apparently, even just removing the shirt was enough for Justin because the temperature in the room was suddenly very high.

“Are you going to be okay?” Calder asked with a low chuckle.

“I-I think so.” Justin uttered, then gazed toward Calder as Calder went for his pants. As Justin’s eyes fell down to Calder’s pants, he was suddenly overtaken by lust and emotion.

Justin swallowed hard and stepped forward. He raised his hands and brushed them over Calder’s muscular arms, tingling at the touch. The moments of exploration they’d had before fueled him to explore even more. He wanted to know everything about Calder’s body. He wanted them to be even closer than they had before.

Calder held still, giving permission for Justin to explore to his heart’s content. Justin wet his lips and leaned up to claim Calder’s lips. He wanted to start off hot and fiery but he had to build up to that. Fortunately, it didn’t take long, as Justin craved friction between their bodies.

When he was around Calder, he barely managed to control himself. The chemistry was undeniable and all the years of fantasies and unspoken words spilled over into those few critical moments.

Mere seconds later, Calder leaned forward to kiss him again.

More than anything, Justin was grateful that Calder didn’t push him away. Now it seemed like Calder was kissing him as though it were the most natural thing in the world. It made Justin weak in the knees and hungry for more.

“Calder, I want you,” Justin uttered against Calder’ s lips once they parted for breath.

“
C
alder
, I want you.”

Those words rang loudly in Calder’s ears as their lips parted.

It really didn’t take much to get Justin started. Apparently taking off his shirt and showing off his undershirt—not even his actual chest—was enough to kick-start the fire. It was flattering but startling at the same time.

“Justin...” Calder’s heart pounded as he lifted his hand and brushed his fingers through Justin’s swept back dark hair, their eyes locked.

He was a man so used to being in control but whenever it came to Justin, things were different. The adorable nerd was his weak spot, and the thought terrified Calder. Throughout the years, whenever Justin had told him about unfortunate events, Calder’s heart had hurt. There had been so many times that he had wanted to protect Justin but hadn’t been able to.

Being around Justin had stirred something else inside of him, too: longing and lust. Although he’d had lustful thoughts over the years, now that he was with Justin nearly twenty-four seven, the urges were even harder to control.

Justin was damn attractive, even if he couldn’t see it himself. He may have thought of himself as a geek but he was gorgeous. His lithe form, youthful energy, and dorky smile did a lot for him.

And his ass was great. There was no denying that. For someone who didn’t work out, he was doing very well on that front.

“You’re so beautiful,” Calder murmured, his heart skipping a beat as he threaded brown strands through his fingers.

The way Justin’s cheeks burst with color made Calder’s heart melt.

“I don’t only just want you but I like you,” Justin uttered, the words falling over his beautiful, full pink lips.

A jolt went through Calder’s system as he searched Justin’s eyes. They were so expressive right now, and showing his vulnerability. Right then and there, Justin was laying everything on the line.

“Justin...” Calder murmured.

“I’ve liked you for a long time. I think some of the reason why I had never been able to be with other men was because I’ve been comparing them all to
you
.”

Calder was stunned by these words but he couldn’t say that they were a complete surprise. On some level, Calder had always suspected this to be the case. While he had tried to encourage Justin to date more, he had been less adamant about it the more Justin told him about the jerks he’d landed.

The thought of people having hurt him in any way made Calder’s blood boil.

“And I don’t know what to do now because being around you makes me come alive in ways I’ve never experienced before. When I’m with you, I feel...”

Calder held his breath as Justin searched his eyes while seemingly forming his thoughts.

“…safe.”

Calder blew out a breath and drew Justin in against him in a firm hug. Hearing those words both made Calder feel wonderful but also saddened that Justin didn’t feel safe with others. He should have been able to feel safe with everyone.

“Justin, I care about you, too,” Calder insisted. “I’m sorry that you’ve been hurt in the past. I’m still not entirely sure that this is the direction that we should be going, though.”

“What do you mean?” Justin murmured against Calder’s shoulder.

“Aren’t you afraid that being together like this will change everything? I mean, it’s not good for us as boss and employee but it’s even trickier as...”

He couldn’t bring himself to say lovers.

“I know, and I’ve been thinking about all of this, too, but I can’t help the way I feel.” Justin drew his head off Calder’s shoulder and gazed up to him. “I’m just worried about you since, well, you’ve never told me if you’ve been with men before or not.”

Calder blinked, then laughed lightly. “Does that really matter?”

“I thought it did,” Justin snorted. “I thought if I let any of my feelings show for you, you might get freaked out.”

“Oh, Justin. For the record, you’ve never been good at keeping those feelings hidden,” Calder chuckled. “I’ve always known that you might’ve had a little crush.”

“And it didn’t scare you away?”

“No, because I’ve always had a soft spot for you, too.”

Justin’s eyes brightened as he leaned in to kiss Calder. In that moment, Calder gave in, letting Justin do as he pleased.

Calder’s mind was still whirling. There were so many conflicting thoughts that he was trying to get a handle on. There were so many things that could go wrong with Calder’s involvement with Justin. Not only professionally but personally as well. What if things didn’t work out between them? Losing a friend of twenty years would be devastating.

And not having Justin in his life was downright terrifying.

When the kiss parted, Calder kept his gaze leveled. His cock was twitching to life against his slacks despite his best intentions of keeping it under control. Justin’s admission, the kiss, and their close proximity were awakening the desire hiding beneath his skin.

“What do you want to do?” Calder asked, his voice a low murmur as he removed his fingers from Justin’s hand and cupped his cheek instead.

“There’s something I’ve always wanted to do to you,” Justin admitted. There was such a shy but also intrigued expression on Justin’s face that Calder was curious. The possibilities were endless for what Justin could want from him.

Would Calder be able to fulfill the request?

“What is it?” Calder breathed, his eyes never leaving Justin’s.

Justin didn’t say a word as he slowly lowered himself. The moment Justin started to move, Calder knew what he was going for.

Was Justin planning to blow him?

Calder’s mouth was suddenly dry at the thought, spreading his feet to instinctively adopt a more stable stance.

Watching Justin sink down to his knees was hotter than Calder had ever imagined. Calder was used to the sight of women going down on him but this was something entirely different. It stirred even more sensations from deep down inside that Calder never knew existed. The whole time, despite Justin’s normal aversion to eye contact, he was maintaining the gaze, which made things all the more hot.

Oh, man. He had envisioned Justin’s mouth around his cock a few times before. While he had tried to stop himself from having such sexual fantasies about his best friend, they had always found a way to sneak in. Usually during the nights when Calder was all alone, whether in his own bed or stuck in some surveillance office on the job.

And now it was coming true.

Calder licked his lips and shivered as he curled his fingers into Justin’s hair once again as Justin settled on his knees. The act of looking down at Justin while he was knelt before him was the hottest thing.

“Do you mind?” Justin murmured, nudging his head against Calder’s hand.

“Not at all,” Calder uttered. His cock was already straining against his slacks. It was getting warm in the hotel room and it was only going to get warmer still.

As Justin reached up to fumble with Calder’s belt, Calder remained still. He tried not to thrust his hips or take control. He wanted Justin to have this moment. In times before, he had seemed to like the idea of having some control and Calder wanted to play that up.

Once Calder’s belt was tugged free, he didn’t dare take his gaze off Justin. His cheeks were already pink enough but when he undid the button and zipped down Calder’s fly, they burned more intensely still.

Justin dipped his hand into his pants and Calder bit his lip as those fingers found his shaft. Once his cock was popped free, Calder quivered. The sight of Justin holding his cock and staring at it was beyond Calder. It was both cute and sexy at the same time.

“Like what you see?” Calder murmured.

“I-It’s a gorgeous cock.”

Calder laughed but tried not to be too loud. It was an odd compliment but it came from Justin’s own mouth. Calder had a feeling Justin wasn’t versed in the art of dirty talk. That would come in time.

Wait, he shouldn’t have been thinking of the future right now. Their future was still uncertain, although it seemed to be more solid now, since they were admitting that they liked each other. Calder had the feeling that Justin wasn’t going to run away anytime soon and Calder didn’t have any intention of doing so either.

But thinking of the future was only going to take Calder out of the moment, so he tried to push past all of that.

Justin glided his hand over Calder’s cock. He then lowered his head to the tip of Calder’s cock and teased the slit with his tongue.

Calder twitched and groaned his approval, trying to keep his eyes on Justin’s, although Justin was more focused on his cock.

Justin teased the slit a bit more, driving Calder mad with his tongue, before moving his mouth and tongue along the shaft. He even paid a bit of attention to the underside, tapping his tongue along the sensitive area beneath the head.

“Oh, Justin...” Calder moaned, tightening his grip in Justin’s hair. He was trying really hard not to insist that Justin take him into his mouth already. But Justin was being so slow and Calder was already hot and wanting more.

In reality, he wanted to throw his best friend into bed and have his way with him. He wanted to do more than explore.

When Calder’s toes started to curl into the floor, Justin switched his attention back to the head. Justin glanced up at Calder, meeting his eyes, and then stroked Calder a few times as he popped open his mouth.

Little by little, he took Calder’s cock into his mouth.

Calder bit back a moan at the heat that seared across his sensitive flesh. He was transfixed on the sight of his cock disappearing into Justin’s mouth.

The pleasure that coursed through Calder was like nothing he’d experienced before. Sure, he had gotten blowjobs from women, and they had all been wonderful women, too, but this was in a league of its own.

The fact that it was
Justin
going down on him was what blew Calder’s mind. He wanted to enjoy the moment for what it was.

He tried not to pull on Justin’s hair too much, tracing his fingers along Justin’s scalp. He bit back a moan when Justin bobbed his head, his motions a little jerky at first but growing more smooth. The suction of Justin’s delicious mouth had Calder biting back moans. Damn, when Justin worked in a bit of tongue, and even a hint of teeth, Calder was putty in his hands.

And whenever Justin came up for air and paid attention to the tip of his cock, Calder struggled to contain his sounds.

Justin picked up his pace and was more aggressive with his motions in general. He was more grabby with his hands, which included fondling Calder’s balls.

Calder wasn’t going to last much longer under the attention of that earnest mouth. He thrust his hips a little, unable to hold still as the fire raged within, his body growing tense. “Justin, I’m going to come,” he warned.

Justin glanced back up at him but then sucked firmer still in response.

The look of sheer determination on Justin’s flushed cheeks was almost enough to do Calder in.

Moments later, Calder came. His spine snapped into an arch as he thrust his hips forward, untangling his fingers from Justin’s hair to grab the sides of his head and hold him in place. His hips stuttered as he sharply thrust into Justin’s mouth, delivering his load.

And, try as he might, there was no holding back the guttural groan that was torn from his throat.

The pleasure that tore through him was
incredible
. Although Justin’s technique wasn’t the best he’d ever had, the moment was the best because of the spark between them. Besides, Calder would be able to help him along through more practice.

There he was again thinking too far ahead.

Calder twitched as his senses came back to him and he panted for breath. His legs felt weak so he locked his knees to make sure he wouldn’t topple over onto Justin.

Carefully, Calder pulled back, popping his cock from Justin’s mouth. He couldn’t take his eyes off Justin as he pointedly swallowed once or twice, then licked his lips.

“Holy shit,” Calder breathed, another wave of pleasure crashing through him at that gesture.

“Did you like that?” Justin grinned.

“I did,” Calder laughed as he hauled Justin up to his feet. “As innocent as you like to act sometimes, you have your moments.”

Justin laughed. “I’m not trying to fool anyone. I am what I am.”

“You really are,” Calder chuckled. Calder believed this with all of his heart. Sometimes Justin was out of touch with the world around him and said or did odd things but it was never a ploy. He experienced the world on a different level from Calder. It was not something Calder was likely to ever truly understand but he appreciated it. Seeing the world from Justin’s eyes was always fascinating.

“Now that I’m done, it’s time to take care of
you
... sir.”

Justin’s flushed cheeks turned a shade deeper as he shoved Calder’s chest. “Why do you have to keep saying it like that?”

“Because I love seeing the way you react,” Calder laughed as he ran his hand through Justin’s fluffy hair. “That, and I don’t mind being bossed around either. I’m so used to having everything planned out and doing it by the book. I don’t mind giving up that control sometimes and just winging it.”

“I’m not that bold, though,” Justin murmured as he ran his hands up along Calder’s sides.

“I think you are. You’ve always been the bossy type. That’s why you’ve never really worked well on teams.”

Justin made a startled sound and then snorted. “Geez, thanks.”

“I don’t think it’s a bad thing, really,” Calder insisted as he slid his hand between them, brushing it along Justin’s chest. What did he look like beneath that shirt? Calder didn’t think that Justin would be too buff, given his lifestyle and build, but he might be surprised.

Justin quivered beneath Calder’s touch. Even if Calder had only just finished, that reaction to his touch still made him hot. It was one more wonderful thing to add onto the high he was experiencing.

Beautiful. Justin was simply beautiful.

He slid his hand down to Justin’s waistband. Their faces were scarcely inches apart. Justin’s lips were parted, his face turned up toward him and his eyes hazy. Justin had long lashes that made him even prettier.