Authors: Connor Wright
D
ESMOND
knocked on the doorframe. “Jesse? I need to talk to you.”
His mouth went dry, but he nodded at his father and set his book aside. “Okay.”
“Let’s go down to the garage.” Desmond jerked his head in the general direction of the stairs, then walked off.
Jesse followed, anxiety making him twitchy as he tried to figure out what his dad wanted to discuss with him.
“So, uh, Jesse. I was walking down the hall yesterday.” Desmond opened the bottom drawer of his toolbox and closed it again, then opened the next one up. “I saw—”
“We’ll move out,” Jesse blurted. “Just give us a couple of weeks to find a place.”
“Let me finish,” Desmond said, shaking his head and realigning wrenches that didn’t need it. “I saw you and Chris, but I
heard
you too. Talking to him.”
“Oh.”
“And…. And, son, I….” He crossed his arms, stepping back from his workbench and turning to face the back wall of the garage. “I think I’ve been, uh… wrong. And maybe, probably, unfair.”
“Wrong?” Jesse shook his head and frowned at his father’s back. “What—”
“Because I didn’t listen to you. Or your mother. And yesterday….” He hunched up. “Yesterday, I heard you saying things
I
said… to your mother. Before you were born. And… I’m, uh, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Jesse said, a little absently, as he tried to grasp the idea that his dad was
apologizing
to him.
“I don’t think your mother would agree with that,” Desmond said, moving back to the workbench, a wry little smile coming and going. “But you and Chris don’t have to go anywhere. If you don’t want to. Just, uh, no details, and, uh, keep it down. Oh, and nothing excessive, uh, in front of company.”
“Well, there go our plans for the next barbecue,” Jesse said, his face as straight as he could make it.
Desmond looked at his son, and then he started to laugh with deep guffaws that seemed to leave him feeling lighter than when he’d started the conversation. “Sorry, Jess, but I just don’t want to have to explain to the insurance company how it is that Mr. and Mrs. Hanson died in our yard.” Then he sighed and glanced at the young man. “I don’t want to pry, and you can tell me it’s none of my business and I’ll leave you alone, but is there anything that you two need help with?”
Jesse laughed, too, shaking his head. “Yeah, yeah, I know.” He sobered and shrugged. “It’s not that it’s none of your business. It’s just a complicated family thing, and it’s nothing that can be changed right this second.”
“Okay,” Desmond said. “You’re my boy, you know.”
“Yeah.” Jesse nodded at him. “I know. Thanks, Dad.”
“Wait a second,” he said, looking up from brushing invisible dust off of the bench. “I thought he didn’t have a family?”
“He has a family. It’s just that they’re, not, uh….” Jesse waved a hand. “They weren’t, um, happy. To find out about him. Us.”
“They kicked him out?” Desmond looked grim.
“Kind of. Like I said, it’s complicated.”
“That’s not right.”
“No, it’s not.” Jesse hoped Chris and his parents would forgive the minor slander.
“
W
E
’
RE
home,” Chris called, from the kitchen.
“Hey,” Jesse said, hurrying through the door that Chris held for him. “Thanks.”
“Hi, sweetie. Can you get the big stuff?” Leanna said as Jesse came around the end of the car. “Chris has the soft stuff, and I can get the rest of the bags.”
“Sure,” he said and gathered up jugs and boxes.
After the groceries were put away, Chris went off to look at the new issue of
Birds & Blooms
.
“Jesse,” Leanna said, leaning against the counter, “I know you’re fond of Christopher.”
“What’s the matter?” Jesse crossed his arms, wondering if his parents had actually swapped bodies. The idea was ludicrous, of course, and he discarded it. “You’re not gonna—”
“Chris and I had a little talk on the way home,” Leanna said, holding up a hand. “You and I both know there’s something not quite right about him. Don’t you dare take advantage of him, young man.”
“Take advantage—uh, just what did you, um, talk about?”
“The night before last. When you went out to your tree.”
Oh.
Oh.
Jesse covered his face with his hands, wishing he could melt into the linoleum. “Oh. Mom, do you really think I’d
do
that? What is
with
you and Dad today?”
“No. I just wanted to remind you,” she said, frowning. “What about your dad?”
“He came upstairs and asked me down to the garage, and then he said he was
sorry
,” Jesse said, folding his arms again. “About the rules. And then he basically said that they didn’t apply anymore. Or maybe just not to me and Chris.”
“Oh.” Leanna’s frown deepened as she thought about it. “How about that.”
“Except for the details part, but that’s not a problem.” Jesse sighed. “Anyhow, uh, did Chris say anything about, uh, his family?”
“No, he didn’t. Why?” Leanna brightened and straightened up. “Did you find his family? I bet they were so relieved to find out that he’s safe.”
“Well, kind of. They’re kind of—they weren’t, uh, thrilled. About me. And really not thrilled by the idea of me and Chris, uh, together.”
“Oh, sweetie,” she said, putting an arm around his shoulders, “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. More or less, anyway.”
“
J
ESSE
said you two had a talk, today,” Leanna said, pulling the elastic out of her hair and running her fingers through it.
“Yeah,” Desmond said, as he dropped his socks into the laundry basket at the foot of their bed.
“Something about changing the rules?”
He watched his wife brush her hair for a moment. “Yeah. Uh, yesterday, I was goin’ down the hall and I heard Jess say ‘screw it’, so I looked in his room and he was huggin’ Chris. I was gonna yell at him, but….” Desmond took off his shirt. “That was all they were doing. And Jesse started talkin’ to him, tellin’ him he was sorry he couldn’t make things better for Chris. Sorry that loving him, saying ‘I love you’, that wasn’t enough.
“And I started thinking. Thought about you and me, when we were just married, and the bad time we went through. And I thought about how you and Jesse both tried to tell me I was being stupid. When he told us.”
“So you changed your mind?” Leanna put her brush down on the dresser and walked over to him.
“Yeah.” He framed her face with his hands and stood there, just looking at her. “Did you know you’re beautiful?”
She smiled and closed her eyes. “You’ve mentioned it a few times.”
“He’s my boy,” Desmond said, slipping his arms around her and pulling her close. “You told me it wasn’t fair. Wasn’t
right
. That he was my son.”
“Has he forgiven you?” Leanna returned the embrace. “You’re perfectly imperfect, like the rest of us.”
“I think so,” he said with a sigh. “Maybe. Maybe I don’t want to be imperfect. I was supposed to raise him
right
.”
“He hurts when the people he loves hurt,” she said, holding him a little tighter. “Along with the million other good things. I think we did all right.”
“You think so? God, I hope we did.”
Chapter Fourteen
H
ARUMOYA
SUSHI
+
IZAKAYA
C
HRIS
looked up at the sign over the doors. “Sushi. You’re sure I will like it?”
“Yep,” Jesse said, holding the door for him. “I would be really surprised if you didn’t.”
He went through to the second set of doors, distracted by the scents filtering out to him. “Where does sushi come from?” Chris said, as he opened the inner door for Jesse.
“Japan, and mostly from the ocean.” Jesse ducked his head as he passed. “They have other stuff, too.”
“Japan. That’s where video games come from.” Chris inhaled, looking around the little arrival area, taking in the giant aquarium, the long counter with glass panels at the back of it, and the woman in a fancy robe who was looking at them. The air carried the scent of fish, of frying, of spices and other things that he had no name for. Every single one made his little voice burble happily about food, though.
“A lot of them, yeah,” Jesse said. He smiled at the woman and held up two fingers. “Hi. Just two, tonight.”
“Sure,” the woman said. “Would you like to sit at the counter or a table?”
“A table, please,” he said, and they followed her through the restaurant.
“Tonight’s special is
nigirizushi
with salmon roe and the yolk of a quail egg,” she said as she handed over the menus. “California rolls, too, both half-price. Want something to drink to start?”
“Salmon roe?” Chris said, glancing at Jesse.
He leaned over and murmured, “Fish eggs.”
“Oh!” Chris nodded at the woman, the same little warmth swelling inside him as he realized that Jesse had chosen this place for
him
, had brought him to another source of good food. “I’d like the special with the quail egg, please.”
“Okay,” she said, writing it down. “How many?”
“I can have more than one?”
“Yes,” she said, her eyebrows quirking as she looked at him.
“They’re not very big,” Jesse said, making not quite a complete circle with his thumb and forefinger.
Chris nodded at him, then looked up at the woman again. “Um, three? Please?”
“Sure,” she said. “And anything to start for you, sir?”
Jesse shook his head. “Um, two Cokes, please. And I need a minute to make up my mind,” he said, holding up the menu.
“Sure. I’ll be right back with your drinks.” She nodded and walked off.
“Okay, so, when you order sushi, you order it by the piece,” Jesse said, opening Chris’s menu to the pictures in the middle. “Or you can order an assortment that gets you two pieces of four or five or more kinds,
or
you can ask for whatever the chef wants to make and take your chances. This is what they’ve got, here. Anything with a star by it is, uh, raw.”
“Really?” Chris’s eyes went wide as he looked over the selection. Yes, he’d chosen
very
well in Jesse. “And I can ask for as many as I want?”
“Basically. You can’t order everything they have, though, because other people want some too.”
“Sharing is good,” Chris said, nodding at the mild admonition. “What’s this?”
“Oh, that’s sea urchin eggs.” Jesse didn’t care for it, but he knew Chris liked all sorts of odd food combinations.
“And this?”
“Grilled eel.”
“Eel! Like the fish at the aquarium with the teeth?” Chris frowned at the idea.
“Kind of. This is a different kind of eel.”
“Oh. What should I get?” It was more a request for a starting place than anything. Everything looked—smelled—so very good.
“Whatever sounds good,” Jesse said. “This one is egg and rice, this one is a shrimp, and they’ve got things with more than one ingredient down here too.”
“
J
ESSE
?”
“Yeah?” He opened his eyes, not bothering to make them focus on the black-on-black shape that was the back of Chris’s head before closing them again. Lying in bed with Chris still felt almost illicit, despite knowing that they had tacit permission.
“Dinner was really very good. I think I could eat there always.” Chris licked his lips in memory.
Jesse laughed. “I knew you’d like it.”
“I did. Very much.” Chris was quiet for a minute. “I like you.”
“Aw. And I like you too.”
“You said you love me.”
“Yeah, I do.”
“I don’t know about love. I want to feed you and give you things and show you that I am strong and trust… trust… trustable, and that those are important things to do, for me. Is that love, like when you say it?”
“I’ve been waiting for you to ask,” Jesse said, rubbing his hand over the center of Chris’s chest. “The thing is, love is one of those things no one can explain, not like why the sky is blue or where sushi comes from. Maybe that
is
love, for you. Me, I want to feed you, too, but I want to just… hang out with you and talk to you and show you stuff and discover cool things with you and listen to you talk to ravens and… and all kind of things.”
“Oh. Good,” Chris said, turning over so they were face-to-face.
“Awesome,” Jesse said, then covered a yawn. “Sorry. Um….”
“It’s time to sleep. Rest well.”
“G’night; you too.”
Chapter Fifteen
“
C
ALL
for Swanson line three—er, sorry,
Jesse
Swanson, line three.”
That was strange; his parents usually called his cell, and if Chris needed something he just walked over and said so. Jesse turned around and took the call.
“Thank you for calling Meyer’s Market, this is Jesse. How can I help you?”
“Hi. I’ve missed you,” Kevin said.
“I’m sorry, why are you calling me here? I’m busy.”
“Because I miss you. Don’t you miss me?”
Jesse shook his head. “No, Kevin, I don’t. Look, I’m on the clock. I have to go. Bye.” And he hung up.
Ten minutes later, he was ringing up Mrs. O’Malley when the PA system pinged overhead.
“Call for Jesse Swanson, line three. Call holding line three for Jesse.”
“You’re a popular young man, today,” she said.
Jesse pasted on a smile and nodded. “It seems like I am. Do you have any coupons, ma’am?”
“Oh yes, I do. One for the soap and one for the spinach. I like that young man, Christopher? In the produce section. He’s wonderfully polite.”
He took the slips of newsprint and scanned them, a real smile crossing his face. “That’s nice to hear, thank you. I’ll be sure to tell Chris you said so.” He pressed the enter key a couple of times. “All right, that comes to twenty-seven fifty-nine.”
Once Mrs. O’Malley had taken her groceries, he picked up the phone and pressed the button next to the note that said
Line 3
. “Thank you for calling Meyer’s Market, this is Jesse. How can I help you?”