First Light (31 page)

I am without home and family—
any
family.
I hadn’t realized how much hope I’d pinned on finding my eldest sister, until the princess’s confession that she was not here. Bitter was my disappointment, and once more I felt adrift, without place or purpose. Though I’d pressed Princess Cecilia to tell me what had happened to
my
Cecilia— for I realized I thought of her that way now— the princess refused, saying she was forbidden from speaking of it. Merry Anne also dismissed my questions, saying that now was not the time for them. And so I spent the next few hours in a sort of pained, disoriented haze.

Everyone attributed my condition to smelling the bewitching bouquet. I knew otherwise. This latest loss cut deeply.

And the day was not done with me yet. When I had been fussed and fretted over all morning, Cecilia informed me that we would be dining with her parents and Cristian. Just hearing his name, and knowing I would be seeing him again, sent my heart to racing.

I am wretched.
The thought occurred to me over and over again as I spent time in the princess’s company.

“You must call me Cecilia,” she’d insisted. “For though there is no blood between us, I feel you could be my sister.”

I didn’t feel that way at all. As if my hands, hair, clothing, and manner were not different enough, I soon came to realize the difference in our hearts was even greater. A sense of friendship, caring, and genuine goodness radiated from the princess, whereas I could not help the continuous jealousy that entered my heart when I thought of her marrying Cristian. I might have distracted him for a while, but he
would
love her. It would be impossible not to. I myself could not help but like her greatly.
But that doesn’t change my feelings for Cristian.

I
am
wretched.
And I’d no doubt the king and queen would soon discover it.
And then what shall be my fate?
Perhaps they would bake
me
in the oven instead of having me bake the wedding cake.

“You look as if you’ve stuck your face in the flowers again,” Cecilia said as we left the hall and descended a grand staircase.

“Not a bad idea.” I glanced longingly at the vases.
Better befuddled than facing the king and queen— and Cristian.

She laughed and linked her arm through mine. “Nonsense. Everyone will love you.”

If you only knew
.

We left the staircase and crossed a vast hall, our floor-length gowns swishing against the stone. I’d bathed and had my hair done and wore a new gown Merry Anne had sewn for me. Though it wasn’t nearly as fancy as the princess’s, it was nicer than anything I’d ever worn and suited to my simpler tastes.

We entered a smaller room, a library, and the king, queen, and Cristian all rose to greet us. It was all I could do to keep my eyes from him and focus on Cecilia’s parents.

I curtsied before them.

“Welcome, Adrielle.” The king’s voice was strangely gruff. He stepped forward to greet me.

“Thank you.” I rose, and he took my hand, kissed the back of it, and held onto it quite a bit longer than I thought was proper. Only Merry Anne, standing beside me and clearing her throat again seemed to remind him to move back and allow the way for the queen’s greeting.

If I’d thought the king’s salutation strange, it was nothing compared to Queen Ellen’s. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she came forward. She reached out, taking my face in her hands and holding it there, looking at me. Her gaze was probing, as if she was trying to know all about me with that one look. “You’re here.”

“Yes, yes.” Merry Anne forced her way between us. “Isn’t it grand that Adrielle has come to make the wedding cake. Whatever would we have done without her?”

“Thank you for your gracious welcome.” I curtsied once more, though I wasn’t sure that was required. “I am quite recovered now and should return to the kitchen. With the wedding but a week away—”

“Six days,” corrected Cristian. “Nearly five at that.” He glanced out the window at the setting sun.

I, too, looked out the window, if only to protect myself from meeting another’s gaze and giving away my feelings. “All the more reason I must return and help Maggie. She’ll be beside herself.” I was nearly beside myself, having just caught Cristian gazing at me with the most tender expression.

The queen looked as if she was about to cry again. “Please stay. We’ve already arranged for Maggie to have extra help preparing for tomorrow night’s ball.”

There is to be a ball?
Before
the wedding?
This was news to me.

King Addison cleared his throat. “Rather than wait for the day of the wedding for Nadamaris to strike— for we are certain she will try something— we’ve decided to beat her at her own game by opening the gates a few days early. Every precaution will be taken, everyone will be on high alert. And
everyone—
he looked meaningfully at Cecilia and Cristian— will be safe while we try to draw Nadamaris, or her son out and stop them before they can surprise us.”

“I see,” I said, quite surprised at this turn of events and somberly reminded of just how close Cristian and Cecilia’s wedding really was.

“Do stay this evening, Adrielle,” Cristian said.

You are as wretched as I,
I thought, glaring at him. Staying here, being this close to him and with Cecilia nearby, was akin to torture.

“Of course she will. It’s settled, then.” Cecilia linked her arm through mine again, as if to keep me from running off. “Would you care to play a game of chess, Adrielle?”

“She won’t know how.” Henrie entered the room, looking none too pleased to find me here.

“
She
plays quite well, thank you,” I said, lifting my face to meet his eye. If Henrie caught my reminder of his rudeness, he did not bother with an apology.

“Excellent,” the king said, settling, with the queen, into the chairs nearest the fire.

I hoped it would be. Months had passed since my last chess game with Father, on the stump in our yard beneath our favorite tree. Father had been an avid player and an exceptional teacher, never once letting me win as he taught me. Only in our last two years of playing together had I become equal to his prowess.

Patience and planning will get you everywhere in life, Adrielle, whereas acting without thinking things through will lead to your demise every time.

Silently I vowed to employ my father’s wisdom during the match.

“Leave us to our game,” Cecilia ordered Henrie. “You partner with Cristian. The winners will face the other afterward.”

“Then I shall have the pleasure of playing you later, Princess,” Henrie said, inclining his head.

“Arrogant, that one,” Cecilia whispered when he’d headed across the room to Cristian.

I silently agreed.
How similar are our likes and dislikes.
I glanced at Cristian.
Too similar,
I thought with another pang that was part longing, part guilt.

We settled at a table by her parents to play with a fine set of marble pieces. They were smooth and cool, and there was no need to worry about splinters, as had often been the case with the crude figures my father had carved. Cecilia was a fine player, and I soon found the game required all my concentration. Indeed, she seemed every bit as formidable an opponent as my father, even employing many of his favorite tactics.

Our pawns went quickly, save one I managed to turn to a queen by distracting Cecilia and sacrificing a bishop.

“The least shall be the greatest,” Cecilia mumbled. “Brilliant move.”

I pulled my gaze from the board to stare at her. “What did you say?”

“Umm… a fine move?”

“No. Before that. You said something about the least—”

“Being the greatest,” she finished. “Something my father taught me. Canelia is only as good as its people. It behooves us to remember that and treat all classes with dignity and respect.”

“Oh.” I nodded. “Of course.” Beneath my gown my heart raced. Her explanation made perfect sense. It was the sort of thing a king
would
teach his daughter. It was also what my father had tried to teach me.
With some difficulty, I returned my attention to the game.

An hour more passed, then another half. The king and queen watched closely, observing from their nearby chairs. Tension filled the air. Cecilia still held her king, queen, one bishop and a rook. I had only my king, my pawn-turned-queen and a knight by my side. Each move took long, agonizing minutes.

Cristian and Henrie had finished their game, though I did not know the outcome. I was vaguely aware that they stood somewhere behind us but did not fully register either’s presence until at last I knew I had Cecilia’s king cornered.

“Checkmate,” Cristian said quietly before I uttered the word. I looked up to find him standing beside me. Our eyes met. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you.” The tension of a moment before was replaced by almost tangible emotion between us. I forced myself to look away, knowing the king, queen, and Cecilia all observed the interchange.

“I suppose we shall play after all, Princess,” Henrie said. “As I, too, lost my match.”

Cecilia smiled graciously. “Later, perhaps. Adrielle has tired me. I’ve not had such a challenge in a long time.” Her words held a hint of sadness.

I viewed her with new empathy. She may have led a life of luxury and leisure, but even so, she’d been deprived of companionship. A minute earlier I’d wanted so badly to win our match, to have one thing to claim as mine because she had everything— parents, a fine home… Cristian.

Now winning seemed utterly
un
important. What really mattered was setting things right in this kingdom, so Cecilia, Cristian— all of us— might be free. Guilt tore at me again.

I, too, was tired but also not about to pass up a chance at a match with Cristian. I knew our friendship had to end, yet I couldn’t bring myself to do the right thing— to get as far away from him as possible. It was rather unhelpful that Cecilia and her parents encouraged us to play.

He settled into the princess’s spot, and we began. It wasn’t long before I knew I was in trouble— not because Cristian excelled at strategy any more than Cecilia or myself, but because I could not keep my mind on the game. Instead of watching the board and speculating on his possible moves and how I might respond, I watched
him
— his eyes, the curve of his lips, the creases in his forehead as he concentrated.

I longed to touch his hand when it stretched across the board to move a piece. I wished more than anything that we might talk of that day in Tallinyne and the miracle that transpired. I dared not, for as much as I watched Cristian, I was also aware of several sets of eyes studying me.

The game progressed, and it became apparent I was the inferior player. I didn’t care, other than to prolong this time together in such close proximity with my future king.

King. In a few days’ time he will be married
. The thought washed over me like a bucket of well water. Cristian would be king someday. Cecilia would be his queen. Together they faced the saving of a kingdom from a powerful evil.

I must not distract him from his duty.
But sometime in the past few minutes, I’d noticed I w
as
distracting him. Cristian’s furtive glances at me became more and more obvious. Twice our fingers touched on the board. Finally, as I looked up from my latest move, I found his face close to mine, and our eyes again connected.

“I’ve missed you,” he whispered.

“Don’t,” I said.
Don’t tell me that. Don’t stray from your duty. Don’t make this harder than it already is.
I lost the game as quickly as possible after that. Mercifully, Cristian did not speak again.

King Addison and Queen Ellen bade us a fond good night. Again I was taken aback by the affection bestowed upon me. Knowing I was undeserving, I followed Cecilia up a winding staircase to her chamber.

“I’m sorry this is so hard for you, so— unfair.” She spoke almost as if she, too, could read my mind. I swallowed uneasily and met her gaze full of caring and concern. Cecilia was a princess in every sense of the word. Gentle, soft-spoken, generous, beautiful. She would do well as queen of Canelia. She would be a lovely bride for Cristian.

“I’ll be all right,” I said. “I think that somehow it’s lonelier inside the castle than it is when I’m by myself out there.”

She nodded. “I know what you mean."

Back in her bedchamber, I hurried behind the screen to change into my nightgown while Cecilia left to request a fresh basin of water. When I peeled the dress away, the pearls, still tucked in my bodice, shone up at me. Though I’d slept with them before, during my long recovery, I was loath to do so now, worrying they might come loose in the night and be lost in the princess’s shared bed.

But I need them near in case…
In case of
what,
I wasn’t sure. Certainly I was safe here in this castle of enchantments.

Footsteps sounded in the hall.
Cecilia returning already?
I looked around for a place to hide the bracelet, and my eyes rested on the tall bed. I walked to it, reaching my hand beneath the thick mattress. Wriggling my fingers, I pushed the pearls far beneath, away from the edge, confident the bracelet was secure.