First Time for Everything (38 page)

Slight problem.

When he got to… well, when he got there, it was obvious that I liked his kissing. Please do not make me explain that sentence in any more detail, or I will die of embarrassment. It was a night of firsts for me because I could check off: got hit on by a cute guy, kissed a cute guy, and then got my junk groped by same cute guy. As far as I was concerned, it was one check too far.

I put my hand on his and pulled it away slowly, never breaking the kiss. He moved his hand upward again. I moved it away a little harder. When he nearly pushed my hand away, I pulled back. “Whoa. Not get hints much?”

“What is your problem?” he asked, looking like he was out of breath. “I can tell you’re into it, and I can see you have nothing to be ashamed of. What’s with the prude act?”

“Prude? Act?” I asked, blown away. “One, not wanting a stranger to grab my dick after knowing them for twenty minutes isn’t being a prude, and it isn’t an act. You can tell by the way I am standing up now and walking away.”

I stood up, and he grabbed my hand quickly. “Okay, I’m sorry. You’re just so cute. I thought you’d be more mature about it. I’ll slow down.”

Mature? Say what now?

I sat back down. “What do you mean by that?” I asked, not knowing I had fallen for the bait.

“It’s just…,” he started to ask. “You’re what, fifteen?”

“Sixteen.”

“Sixteen? Wow, okay, well, some guys just develop slower than others. Most guys I know by that time are ready for more than kissing. It isn’t a big deal. I promise to be good.” He had that angelic kind of face that made his looking sorry way cuter than it should have been.

“I’m just…,” I started to say, even more confused than when he was feeling me up. “It’s that I never met a gay guy who was… well, ever, to be honest.”

“Well, see?” he said casually. “It’s just you’re just a little behind. No big deal.”

I was behind? Was I missing something other guys had? I looked over at the table with my friends and thought about it. I mean, they hadn’t done anything real with a girl either, but then they were straight, so did it matter? Was something wrong with me?

“Can we go back to kissing?” he asked, moving closer to me.

Not wanting to scare him away, I nodded and moved my mouth toward him.

“Why am I not surprised to find you back here?” someone asked as he kissed me back.

One second I was kissing someone, the next, empty air.

“Hunter,” Zach said, popping up. “Hey, when did you get here?”

“Just in time to see you making out with another guy,” Hunter answered, looking at me. “Oh look, another newbie. What a shock.”

“Hunter, come on,” Zach began to plead. “It’s not like that.”

I looked over to Zach. “It isn’t?”

He glanced at me and then back to the other guy, looking like he was going to puke. “I was just showing him around the club and one thing led to another.”

“Sounds familiar. Where have I heard that before?” Hunter mused. “Oh right, that was exactly what you did with me last weekend.” He looked at me. “Has he asked you for a blow job yet?” I shook my head. “Hand job?”

That was when I knew I was in over my head. “No, no blow jobs, no hand jobs. In fact, there will be no jobs of any kind, Consider this an unemployment zone.” I said standing up. To Zach I said, “You’re an asshole, and you know it.” To Hunter I said, “He is all yours” and walked back to our table.

We left right after that.

The next day we all sat down and talked about what had happened.

Ethan was the first to comment. “I don’t know, dude, if some girl started touching my junk, I wouldn’t push her off me.”

I expected Dominic to agree, but instead he made a face and exclaimed, “Any girl who started feeling you up after twenty minutes most likely has done the same with dozens of guys. No thank you, I’m not looking for that.”

Brandon nodded. “Yeah, I want to have sex as bad as the next guy, but I’d like it to mean something, and not be….” He struggled for the right words.

“…just another guy on some assembly line?”

We all looked at Tag, impressed.

“What? I’m not always stupid,” he protested.

Brandon shook his head. “Yeah you are, but that was pretty cool.”

We decided to go back that weekend.

This time we went on a Friday, which promised a greater chance of girls and also meant more people to hide among so we wouldn’t stand out as new people. I hoped that would give me a better chance of meeting someone decent. Turns out I should have hoped for something reasonable, like a pony or a robot butler that did my homework.

His name was Jeff, and he was there with a group of friends as well. All girls. So our two groups merged as my boys met his girls, and Jeff and I got to know each other. He was seventeen, hadn’t come out to his family yet, and in fact met the girls he was with here at the club. He had that jockish look about him, which was a major turn-on, and I told him so.

“Thanks. I did track for two years, but I’m not sure if I’ll do it this year. Varsity is a lot harder than people think.”

Since the closest to sports I got was running to my next class because I spaced out texting in the halls, I just nodded and acted like I knew what he was talking about.

“What about you? You’re too cute to be hanging with a pack of nerds.”

Strike one.

“I’m a nerd too,” I declared, put off by the insult. “And what’s wrong with my friends?”

He held his hands up in surrender. “Hey, I wasn’t trying to insult anyone. I’m just saying you’re way cute and don’t look like a nerd.”

I blame the fact that he was complimenting me that I didn’t walk away.

“Well, don’t rag on my friends,” I warned him. “They are my life.”

He sighed and took a sip of his drink. “Yeah, none of my friends know about me. I think they’d completely freak.”

“Then they aren’t very good friends, are they?”

He gave me a look for a moment. “What happened to not ragging on friends?”

“My friends know and love the fact I’m gay. You can tell by the fact they’re here with me. If your friends stopped being your friends because you’re gay, then how can you call them friends?”

“Bi,” he corrected me.

“You’re leaving?”

He chuckled. “No, I’m bi. I’ve gone out with girls too, just never had the courage to with a guy yet.”

“Oh,” I said, not sure how to proceed. My instinct told me that bi was a word people used when they didn’t want to admit they were gay, but I knew better than that. The same way that people thought me being gay was a choice is the same assumption I would be making saying all bi people were just confused. Everyone had the right to define themselves, so I let it slide for now, but it was close to a strike two. “I’m gay,” I said after a few seconds.

He laughed and shook his head. “I know, you said it like three times in the last five minutes.” I closed my mouth, feeling like I was talking way too much. “It’s okay, you’re too cute to hold it against you.”

He leaned in and kissed me. I felt my stomach do a slight lurch as I leaned into it.

“I’ve never kissed a guy like that before,” he said when we paused.

I wish I could tell you I didn’t have the knee-jerk reaction most guys have about going somewhere first, but I can’t. I don’t know about you, but every gay guy has that crazy fantasy where he gets a hot, straight guy to fall for him and give up girls, and right now it felt like that.

“How was it?” I asked him, holding my breath.

“Can we keep going?” he asked eagerly.

There was no way I could resist that.

We spent most of the night talking with our friends, making out, and just holding hands. It was awesome, and I felt like I was floating on air. I checked my phone, and it was getting close to when Brandon’s mom was supposed to pick us up. I hated the fact we didn’t have our licenses yet. Once I had a car I would be so gone, the only way my parents could talk to me would be with Twitter.

“I have to go soon,” I said, not wanting to go.

“You can’t stay? I can drive you home,” he offered.

“I wish, but there is no way our parents are going to let us stay out this late with strangers. But can I call you later tonight?”

“Tonight?” he asked with a tone in his voice.

I mentally slapped myself for seeming so pathetic.

“Um, whenever,” I tried to backpedal.

He took my phone and started pushing buttons. After a few seconds, he reached into his pocket and pulled his phone out. It was ringing. “There are my digits. Text me when you get home.”

He handed my phone back to me, and I felt like it was a glass slipper.

As we stood outside waiting for Brandon’s mom, we compared nights.

“I got a number,” Ethan said, holding his phone up. “She said to call her tomorrow.”

Brandon sighed. “Mine said she was seeing someone or she would have. She said she’d add me on Facebook.”

Dominic smiled. “She added me on her phone,” he bragged. “She took a picture of me and everything for the contact screen.”

We all were subtly impressed with that.

“Mine said I was too young, but I was cute for my age and to call her in a few years.” Tag paused as we chuckled. “Was she serious or is that a line?”

Brandon looked at me. “And you? How did you fare?”

I tried not to scream. “He told me to text him when I got home.”

They erupted into cheers, since that was almost as good as a second date where we were concerned.

Once I got home, changed, and showered, I jumped into bed and texted Jeff.

Hey you still up?

A couple of seconds passed, and my phone buzzed.

I was just brushing my teeth, BRB

It felt like the longest four minutes of my life.

OK back, what’s up?

I typed back
Just got into bed, WYD?

In bed too  >:)

I laughed at his emoticon.

I liked meeting you
, I typed, hoping I wasn’t going too far.

Me 2, wish we could have hung out more

I sighed, wishing that very same thing.

Wht abt tomorrow?

It took almost two minutes before he texted back.

WYCM?

He wanted me to call him, like, now?

Now?

RFN  ;-P

So I called him right freaking now.

“Hey,” he answered in just above a whisper.

“Hey,” I said back, just loving his voice.

“So what you doing?” I could hear him smiling.

“Lying in bed wishing you were here.” Did I really just say that?

“Oh yeah? And if I was there, what would you do to me?”

I paused, knowing where this was going but not sure I wanted to go there. On one hand, I liked him. A lot. On the other, I’m not sure phone sex immediately after meeting someone is the way to go.

“You there?” he asked.

“Yeah, but… um, look, Jeff. I like you and all, but I don’t know if I am ready to jerk off over the phone with you. I mean, I do, but I don’t know if I should yet, you know?”

“It’s cool,” he said, making it pretty clear it wasn’t cool.

“But I do want to see you again.” I tried not to sound like I was pleading, but I was pretty sure that ship had sailed.

“Sure, give me a text tomorrow, and we’ll figure something out.”

“You’re not mad?” I asked him, hating the fact I felt so bad.

“It’s cool, dude. Talk to you later.”

And he hung up, leaving me wondering if I had majorly screwed this up.

The next day I texted him and got nothing back. I tried again later in the afternoon and more nothing. That night I tried calling him, and it went straight to voice mail. I spent that Saturday night at Brandon’s half playing WOW and half-miserable because I had chased off the best guy I had met so far.

Sunday I got up and tried to call him one last time.

“What?” he answered, taking me aback.

“Um, hello.” I wasn’t sure what to say to that.

“Look, man, take a hint. I’m not gay and don’t want to be.” And with that he hung up.

It was the last time I heard from Jeff.

By now my plan had backfired on me, but since the guys now realized it was a good place to find girls who would talk to them, they insisted we go back that Wednesday. And yes, I am aware how ironic it was I had four straight friends pleading with me to go to a gay club, but let’s not dwell on it okay? All my previous excitement was now gone, and a growing apathy seemed to be covering my heart. Before, when we walked in the door, it was like Christmas: a bunch of pretty lights and a dozen surprises you couldn’t wait to get to. Now it was a place that made me feel worse about being gay than I ever had.

We were there an hour when a guy walked over to our table. I’m not going to lie, I don’t really remember what he looked like, but there was something that hit me wrong. “Hey, are you gay?” he asked pleasantly.

“No,” I said, going back to my drink, hoping he got the hint.

He got the hint.

“What was what?” Brandon asked me, worried.

Not willing to share that I was completely miserable being here, I lied and threw out, “His nose was too big” and that seemed a good enough answer to him.

Ethan pointed to another table. “What about that guy?” he asked. “He seems cool.”

I looked over and saw a normal-looking guy sitting with two girls. Looking back at him, I asked, “Is this you pointing the guy out to me or wanting to walk over there so you can meet his friends?”

He paused for a moment before admitting, “Little bit of both?”

Sighing, I got up. “Fine, come on,” I said, walking over to the table.

When I got there, I put a fake smile on and tried my level best to act normal. “Hi, I’m Jordan, these are my friends Ethan and Dominic, and I was wondering if your friends here are straight because they are bored silly.”

The guy looked at me and gave me a smile back, which made me wonder if I was just being too cynical. “They are, and they’re just as bored.” His name was Caleb, and he introduced my friends to his, and we took a step back and let them get their heterosexual games out of their systems.

“So I’ve never seen you here,” he said as we sat at another table.