First Times: Nine Tales of Innocence Lost (10 page)

I nodded, not really sure what that meant. It sounded good, though. I agreed that we were too detached, and “We’re too judgmental,” I said.
 

“Exactly. You mentioned the Norse myths. Are you familiar with the seidr?”
 

I shook my head.
 

“The sorcery of Scandinavian witches. I was looked down upon, for a time, for suggesting that the sexual epithets used to describe the ritual implements were literal, rather than mere metaphors. My colleagues were less than amused. It takes a certain bravery to challenge the establishment, especially in a slow moving field like this one.”
 

I nodded. “Thank you, sir.”
 

He stood up. “It’s fascinating what we’ve lost in our transition to a closeted society that fears its own sensuality.”
 

His fingers rested on my scalp and I froze.
 

“What are you…”
 

His fingertips sank into my hair. He loosed my ponytail and let my hair spill over my shoulders. I had two conflicting thoughts in my head.
What does he want from me?
and
My hair is so greasy!
When his other hand joined the first and he stood behind me running his fingertips lightly over my scalp, I felt an intense shiver of sensation that passed down through my body. It was like a wave that crashed against my toes and fingertips and spread back up, and I gasped. His fingers moved in lazy but precise patterns, and the feeling only intensified. It was like being dragged from a neutral state into sudden, full arousal. Heat pooled between my legs and spread up my stomach, and I felt an urge to tear away from him but my body wouldn’t let me. It was like I went from nothing to riding the edge of an explosive climax, all at once.
 

“Wh-what are you d-doing…” I managed.
 

“Intensity of sensation brings us closer to gnosis, a zero-state. A little crack in the universe.”
 

“The F-french call orgasm p-petit mort,” I said, not knowing why. “Little d-death.”
 

“Exactly.”

He continued to caress my scalp, and my hands clenched the arms of the chair. This was agony. I thought I would explode at any second, but I never made it over the edge. He just kept stroking my scalp, and when he changed up the pattern of his moving fingers the sensations only intensified and I started grinding my legs together, my hips rolling on their own. I moaned softly.
 

“Some mystics find the zero-state through intense pain, like the Hindus who drive hooks through their flesh and swing from chains. The pain clears away doubt and unfocused thoughts. Pleasure can have the same effect. Pleasure is sacred.”
 

I squirmed, rising up a little as my body clenched. It was getting so hot I was starting to sweat. He moved his fingers down the sides of my head and worked them into the neck of my sweater, and along my collarbone. Everywhere he touched me was like a scarlet line of bliss, like the aftertouch of something hot rolling across my skin, too quick to burn. He leaned forward and his hands pressed lower, his fingers moving lightly down the slope of my breasts to slip under the cups of my bra. He pinched my nipples sharply and I yelped and jerked, pulling my legs up. Still standing behind me, he withdrew one hand and began undoing his belt. He pulled his zipper down and drew his cock out of his trousers. His hand cupped the side of my head and turned me to face him. I put my hand down my pants and began playing with myself. I couldn’t stop.

It was like he had me under a magic spell.
 

My lips wrapped around his cock. I’d never held a man’s penis in my mouth before. I’d never
seen
one before. I was not a popular girl, by any means, and my appearance and bookish nature led to many nights curled up in my dorm room with a book or my laptop, working. I swirled my tongue around the head of his cock and it stiffened in my mouth. Instinct or whatever it may have been, I sucked. Hard. His cock went rigid, thicker and heavier than I thought. The skin was soft and velvety, wrapped around a hard core of hot iron. As I sucked his cock and ran my tongue around the ridge of the head, he spoke and stroked my hair out of my eyes.
 

“The Norse witches believed they could empower themselves by taking a man’s seed. I’m going to give you that power. Do you want that?”
 

I nodded, and he began to stroke my head again, one hand. I gasped and sucked his cock harder, driven to the edge.
 

“Take your hand away from your pussy.”
 

I pulled my hand out of my pants. I put one hand on his shaft and with the other I slid my fingers under his balls and guided them out of his underwear. I let his cock pop out of my mouth and licked his balls, feeling them go hard under my touch.
 

“I need your help,” he said. His voice was strangely even as I sucked his shaft harder and moaned softly around it. “I want to get close to my subject. I want to perform a ritual. Are you a virgin?”
 

I nodded, and rolled my tongue around his shaft. His only reaction was a tension in his belly and the hardening of his balls, and the way his fingers went from stroking my scalp to clenching in my hair, making an almost painful fist as he pushed his cock into my throat. I gagged and choked a little until he drew back, and his tight grip guided me as I sucked him off.
 

“You need to swallow it,” he said, stroking me lightly with his free hand as he gripped me hard with the other. “Not just hold it in your mouth, swallow every drop until you have it all.”
 

I bobbed my head harder, stroking him with my lips while I sucked. I tasted salt on my tongue and closed my eyes, knowing it would come soon. If you’d asked me that morning the idea would have disgusted me, but I felt so good with his manhood between my lips, ready to swallow his seed. A jerk of his tight body and a soft grunt was all he gave me when his seed burst in my mouth and I began gulping it down, too fast to taste until there was so much I couldn’t taste anything but salt and musk. I swallowed and swallowed, squeezing out the last drops with my lips and tongue. Finally I squeezed the base of his shaft and ran my fingers up his length, pushing the very last of his seed onto my tongue before I swallowed it. When I pulled back, his wet cock was sticky with my lip gloss. It hung in front of me, half hard and pulsing.
 

“This is what you’re going to do. Every day, you’re going to come here and received my seed, and until I tell you, you may not touch yourself. Do you understand?”
 

I nodded.
 

“That’s a good girl. Turn.”
 

He tucked himself back into his pants and wiped his hands, and massaged my scalp more until I twisted out of his grip. It felt so good I thought my heart would explode.
 

As I stood up, he took my arms and stood behind me. He put his lips to the back of my head and sniffed, breathing in the scent from my hair.
 

“Remember what I said. You are not to cum until we finish. Do you understand?”
 

 
“Why me?” I croaked.
 

His hands slid around and cupped my breasts through my sweater. “You’re special.”
 

I took my bag and I headed back to the dorm. My roommate, Caitlin, ignored me as she usually did. I put on my bathrobe and went to take a shower. I stood under the water, running my tongue around my mouth. I could still taste his seed. I Imagined it hot in my belly. The taste didn’t fade until I brushed my teeth.
 

That night I had strange dreams. I dreamed there was a brick wall, but it was wet and rotten and covered in vines and something was pushing on it from the other side, pushing through the wall. I woke up sopping wet and sweaty and I had to shower again before I went to class. I didn’t have McCray on that day. After my classes ended, I wandered up to his office, wondering if I’d dreamed the day before. I knocked on the door and he opened it and put his hand on my shoulder and guided me inside. Then he locked it, and sat down behind his desk, turning a little so I could get on my knees in front of him. It was all natural, the way I sank down between his leg and undid his clothes. This time I pushed his shirt up enough to see his hard, muscular stomach and the coarse hair that covered it. I stroked his cock to hardness and sucked him off while he graded papers. He looked down at me once in a while.
 

I felt strange while I had his cock in my mouth. A few times I sucked
hard
, and it made him gasp and stroke my head, run his hands over my head like I was some kind of a pet. Nestled between his legs, I felt strangely encircled and protected, especially when his thighs pressed against my arms. I rested my head on his belly as I sucked the cum out of his cock and swallowed it. I could feel it sliding hot down my throat, or maybe it was just my imagination. I swallowed it all and held his cockhead between my lips for a while after, until he pulled me back and made me stop, gasping and shivering from the wet touch of my lips. I’d skipped the lip gloss this time and I left him clean except for a slick wetness of spit. He said nothing but caressed the curve of my jaw with his thumb as I stood up and bent to tuck him back in his pants.
 

Just being in the same room with him made my sex throb. I couldn’t believe I was so wanton, that I was just letting him use me this way.
 

The next day I went back, and the next. On the fourth day he sat on the leather chaise and read from an old book while I curled between his legs and rested my head on his hip and slowly sucked him off. I could tell he liked it better that way because he put the book down when he was close and put his hand on my head and whispered
Melissa, Melissa
, so low I could barely hear it, but it was there and it made my stomach tighten. I was so full of desire that it took every effort not to touch myself as he spilled his seed in my mouth again. I didn’t waste a drop. When I stood up he slipped his hand under me from behind and teased me, his touch softened by layers of cotton between his fingertip and my sex. It made me quake with excitement and clench my fists. Just having his cock in my mouth made me so wet.
 

“You’re going to be ready,” he said.
 

“Yes.”
 

He produced a card.
 

“On Tuesday it will be seven days. You will meet me here, then.”
 

There was an address on the card. I took it and slipped in my pocket.
 

“Tomorrow,” he said, ushering me out of his office.
 

I walked back to my dorm room in a daze.
 

I went back the next day, without thought.
 

This time was different. He spread out on his sofa, his legs spread wide, and encouraged me to lie beside him, to rest my head against him and tuck under his arm as I sucked him off, slowly. I feel silly admitting it but I was working on my technique, and I thought I was getting better. I kept my hands on his cock and on his leg, to keep from touching myself. As he stroked my back I felt such desire that I could barely stand it. I wanted to make him cum just for the sake of it, and he finished in record time and I had to gulp it down and coughed from the force as it shot into my mouth. When it was over I just held his member between my lips and lightly tasted it. Eventually I sat up, and resisted the urge to wipe my chin. I hadn’t spilled a drop, but it felt strange not to wipe my mouth on the back of my wrist.
 

“Tuesday. Don’t forget.”
 

All through Monday I felt like I was floating. He came in my mouth and reminded me again that evening. I drifted around the campus afterwards, feeling lightheaded, tasting his seed. When they day came I was too distracted to go to class. I dressed to the nines, like it was a date. I paced, a wandered the campus, I went to the park and watched squirrels. Finally I walked down to the address. He was waiting for me by his car, a long sleek luxury model that I’d never be able to afford. He opened the door for me like a perfect gentleman and off we went.
 

“I should blindfold you,” he said.
 

“Why?”
 

He smirked.
 

His house was huge. I was in awe, staring like a country bumpkin in the big city as I walked through the enormous foyer. McCray hovered over my shoulder, urging me towards the back of the house. I caught only glimpses of the upstairs. There was something odd about the house, eerie. I felt an energy. Like I was being watched. Through the house, we went to the back. To a door that led down into the basement. It was dark down there and still dark when he flicked on the lights. The cavernous space was lit by chandeliers, though there were little light bulbs, not flames. It was long and wide and dark, and was set up as some kind of temple. Mirrors lined the walls in gilt frames, like windows. My stomach fluttered and I wondered if they
were
windows. One-way mirrors. I looked at them and started to tremble.
 

McCray leaned over my shoulder and whispered in my ear.
 

“No one is going to hurt you.”
 

He led me to the middle of the room. There was a bed there, covered in black velvet.
 

“Take off your clothes,” he said, calmly.
 

My heart hammered in my chest as I took off my jacket and passed it into his hands, then my sweater. I stepped out of my pants and he took those, and I was down to my socks and my underwear. I hesitated for a moment, then bent and slipped my panties down and stepped out of them, and then undid my bra. He took it all and came back with a cloth. He guided my loose hair back over my s shoulders and began scrubbing the makeup from my skin, starting with my lips.
 

“None of that,” he said.