First to Dance (14 page)

“Get your face
close
to the water, then.  As close as you can without going in.”

Ayita was moving, albeit slowly, but she looked silly halfway between vertical and the way she should h
ave been positioned. She had her arms swinging out of the water then slapping into it as she struggled to move forward.  Dakarai watched her struggle for a short time, and then he started laughing again.  “Ayita, stop.  Just tread water for a while, and watch me.”  He leaned completely forward until his face was in the water and his legs were just below the surface, and he kicked a quick-paced flutter kick while correctly alternating his arms up behind him and depositing them into the water.  He turned his head from side to side, breathing every third stroke. He swam beautifully.

“Now you try,” he said.

She stared at him skeptically.  Sure, he could make it look effortless, but he’d spent a lifetime practicing it. When he realized that she wasn’t going to copy him and swim as he demonstrated, he decided to try something else.  He swam to her and showed her what he wanted her to do.

“Hold onto the ledge here, with both
hands.  Okay, now raise your legs up behind you until you can feel the backs of them coming out of the water.  You can keep your head up, but it’s not going to be particularly comfortable that way.”

Ayita did this, and then he told her to kick, helping her to know how fast was too fast, or how slow was too slow, saying “You’ll wear yourself out,” or, “You won’t go anywhere, and you’ll sink.”  It was a strain swimming into
her arms, but Dakarai was right: she became more comfortable leaning forward this far because she could control it and keep herself up, though she still had doubts.  Now that she seemed to have it down, Dakarai disappeared under the water and popped back up toward the center of the lake.

“Now swim out here,” he said.

Ayita took a deep breath. She held the ledge behind her with one hand, then kicked off from there, imitating the way he had moved his arms in and out of the water, and kicking, until at last she was no less than an arm’s length from him.

Dakarai
smiled.  “I knew you could do it,” he said.

Ayita was excited;
it showed through her beaming smile and bright eyes.  “I did!” she exclaimed.  “I swam all the way out here, and I could do it again.”

They stayed there for a short time, treading water and talking.  It was apparent Ayita wasn’t entirely comfortable, but she became more at ease as time went on.  After a while, though, she was kicking more slowly and breathing more quickly.

“Are you getting tired?” Dakarai asked.

“Yeah,” she said.  “I’m going to get out soon.”

“No, no.”  Dakarai shook his head.  “You can relax in the water without tiring yourself further.  Lie back.”

“What?”

“Lie back.”

“What do you mean
lie back
?”

“Don’t ask; do,” he said
, with a grin. “Trust me. Lie back.”

Ayita thought about this;
then she shook her head.  “I don’t think you understand.  My head will go underwater.”

“It’s not as scary as it seems.  It’s actually quite nice.”

“No.”

“Lying back doesn’t mean your head will go underwater.”

“I’m not doing it.”

Dakarai
swam closer.  “If you don’t believe me, then I’ll stay right here and make sure.”  He moved to her side and placed his hand on the small of her back.  “Trust me,” he said.  “Lie back.  There won’t be a single moment when you can’t breathe.”

Ayita took a deep breath and exhaled before nodding and slowly leaning backward into his hand.  She could feel him holding her up
while he continued treading water. His hands felt so strong and comfortable against her skin and she thought she could melt into his arms. But when the back of her head touched the water, she flinched and bounced upright.

“You know, I’m really tired.  I’m going to just get out.”  She started to move toward the edge, but
Dakarai gently held her wrist and pulled her back to him.

“Come on. 
You can do this.”  He looked into her eyes and replaced his hand on her back.  “Now lie down as if you were lying down to sleep.”

Ayita sighed
and nodded her head.

“
It’s okay if your head touches the water.  That’s how it should be.”

She
laid back slowly, flinching slightly when her head hit the cold water, but not resisting it this time.  Before she knew it she was lying flat on the water and Dakarai had removed his hand from her back.

“Close your eyes,” he said.

“Why?”

“Don’t ask.  Do.”

Ayita smiled and quietly laughed.  She closed her eyes and tried to ignore the spots she could see in her eyelids.  One by one they went away

“Now what?” she asked.

“Just listen to yourself breathe.”

“Why?”

Dakarai smiled, suppressing his laughter.

“I know, I know,” Ayita said. “Don’t ask, do.”  She stopped thinking, stopped worrying, and paid attention only to the sound of the rushing water tumbling down the fall.  She tried to focus on her breathing and after
a while it almost drowned out the sound of the water.  Ayita smiled, and she almost felt as if she could fall asleep there. After nearly drowning, she would have never thought she could feel so relaxed in a body of water like this, but here she was, doing it, and it was only because of Dakarai’s encouragement that she managed to face her fears. As her body became more relaxed it began to sink.  Water moved up her cheeks until it touched her lips, and as quickly as her eyes were opened Dakarai was right there to make sure she didn’t submerge.

“Be careful not to fall asleep, now.  It
’s about relaxing, not sleeping,” he joked.

Ayita smiled.  “Thanks for that.”

He nodded.  “Do you want to get out now?”

“Yeah.”  She made her way over to the edge and reached up for her blouse.  Something about putting it back on in the water felt more modest than getting out of the water to get dressed, so she quickly slipped it on before climbing out of the lake.

“Your clothes were almost dry,”
Dakarai pointed out.

“I know.”

Dakarai shook his head.  He pulled himself out of the water and walked over toward the table-top tree.  Ayita got out of the lake and walked toward him as he was returning with a blanket.  “Here,” he said, holding it out.

“It’ll get wet,
” she told him.

“It’ll dry.”

She took it from him and wrapped herself in it.  “Thanks,” she said.  It was beginning to get dark out now and the sun was completely hidden behind the vast array of trees.  They sat down together in-between his home and the lake.  Ayita broke the silence.

“You know, I used to daydrea
m about swimming,” she said.  “There were times when I wanted nothing more than an opportunity to swim in a lake. I would have given almost anything for that.” She turned and looked at him. “Thank you for showing me that I could relax and feel safe in the water.”

Dakarai
smiled, but he knew she wasn’t as comfortable in the lake as she wanted to be. It was plain that the thought of being completely underwater still terrified her.  “Why are you so afraid?” he asked.

“It’s hard to look at something the same way after it nearly kills you.”

Dakarai didn’t ask.  He was both embarrassed that he didn’t remember what she was talking about, and a little disinterested.  “Maybe if you ignore those thoughts,” he said.

“I’m sure I’ll be able to look past them someday, but now….”

“What?”

“Have you ever almost drowned?” she asked.

Dakarai shrugged his shoulders.  “I don’t know,” he said.  “I don’t think so.”

“It’s the scariest thing I
’ve ever experienced.”  She lay down and closed her eyes.  “Every time I touch the water I’m reminded of it.”

“Yet, you actually go in.”

“I’m drawn to it,” she said. 
And I’m drawn to you.
 

Dakarai
lay down too, with his eyes on her and when she opened her eyes he looked up at the stars.  “Do you ever wonder what else is out there?” Dakarai asked.

Ayita smiled and didn’t say anything.
She wanted to hear his thoughts, unclouded by her history.

“I do.  All the time,” he said.

“What do you imagine is there?” she asked.

“I don’t know. 
Something else.  Something better.”  He sighed.  “What about you?  What do you think is out there?”

“Anything’s possible,” she said.

“Do you think there are other planets like this?  Planets with other people on them?”

Ayita nodded.  “I’m sure
there are,” she said.  “And other creatures, too.”  She smiled. So much for leaving her history out of it.

“Other creatures?” he asked.  The confused look on his face was priceless.  “Like what?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” she said.

“I think you do know.  Describe something to me. 
Some other creature that might exist somewhere.”

She thought for a moment and remembered the small wooden turtle her father had given her. It was knocked out of her hand when the spaceship
crashed, and now, she thought, she would never have it back. Still, she would always remember the way it felt to have her fingers wrapped around it, and the look of love on her father’s face when he handed it to her. “A turtle,” she said.

“A turtle?
  What is that?”

“It’s a little creature that exists somewhere,” she said.  “
On a planet called Earth. They’re small, and green, with four legs and a cute little head, and their body is a shell.”

“A shell?”

“Yeah,” she said.  “A shell.”

“I’m having a
hard time picturing this,” Dakarai told her.

Ayita picked up a stick and walked over
to his table-top tree where there was no grass, and she scratched into the dirt as best she could the image of a turtle.  “See the shell?” she said.  “And the four stubby legs, and its head.”

“And that’s a turtle?”

“That’s a turtle.”

“Huh,” he said.  “You’re very creative, Ayita.”

“Don’t give me the credit,” Ayita said.  “I didn’t create it.”

“No?  Then where did you
learn about it?”

“A book,” she said.

“Must be some book,” Dakarai responded.  “Did it have other such creatures in it?”

Ayita nodded.  She had a
huge grin across her face.  Dakarai was so inquisitive, and she liked that.  She described for him other animals that she’d seen in the picture books of Earth.  Finally, she let out a yawn and stretched her arms and legs.  “Well, I think I’ll go now,” she said. “It’s kind of late.”

Dakarai
smiled.  “Goodnight, Ayita.”

“Goodnight,” she said.  “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Dakarai nodded.  He looked away from her for a moment as she stood to walk away.  “Hey, and Ayita?” he said, turning again to her.

“Yes?” she asked.

“Forgive me if I forget you.”

Ayita
nodded.  “I will.”

It was mid-afternoon when she woke the next day, and she didn’t understand why, but she still felt tired enough that she could turn over and sleep for another hour.  Ayita resisted that urge and she brought herself to a sitting position, with her back against the trunk of the tree.  To her right lie the lake and beside that the forest in which Dakarai resided, and to her left the settlement of table-top trees where everyone else lived.  Here she sat between them, unsure where she belonged.  The settlement was busy with people at this time of day.  They always seemed so busy, but she was unsure what they did with all their time. Occasionally she heard music playing but none of it enchanted her the way Dakarai’s music did.  Ayita realized how little she knew about this society, even after living on the planet for so long.  She found Ziyad and was ready to get to work. He would teach her everything he knew about the people, and she would teach him everything she knew about memory and how the brain works.

“There’s a part of the brain called the
hippocampus,” she told him, “where long-term memories are formed. If that part of the brain is damaged, a person can’t build new memories, but I don’t think damage is the problem we see here. I think it’s a lack of the hippocampus being fully developed in childhood.  The only reason I can think of that you wouldn’t be developing it is because you’re not using it. Your brain and body develop and adjust according to how they’re used, and you live in a culture of forgetfulness.”

He gave her an odd look.

“Plural ‘you’ of course,” she said. “But if I’m right, we could get the children to start exercising their ability to remember, and perhaps their hippocampus will develop more strongly, perhaps even fully, by the time they are adults. The brain forms the most synaptic connections in the early years, so if we can get them thinking and remembering now, it’s possible that we could teach the next generation here to remember their lives. We could change the world.”

“So what you’re saying is: if we get them to start exercising their memory as children, they can possibly strengthen their ability to remember, and carry that ability on into their adulthood.”

“Exactly. I could be wrong, but I think you’ve all been stuck in an un-ending cycle of forgetfulness. The parents are forgetful, so they don’t put energy into helping the children form a better memory, so it’s not being formed.”

“
Well what do we have to lose? Let’s get to work.”

Ayita quickly
figured out that she wasn’t very skilled at dealing with children, but her weakness was one of Ziyad’s strengths. Like everyone in their community, he was involved with the children on a regular basis. He knew how to get their attention and keep them from zoning out.