Authors: Ros Baxter
I felt rather than heard the sound, like a song’s first, long note. High, perfect.
It was familiar, and I shook my head and tried to recall where I had heard it.
A crippling swathe of pain exploded in my head, in all my senses. It was like before, the first time, at the morgue. But worse. I was sure I was melting. As soon as it struck, plunging into me with an unseen, vicious fist, I knew I could endure this for a few seconds only before my head shattered under the shocking, electric edge of the pain. My stomach convulsed as nausea flooded me. In the few seconds before it completely annihilated me, left me sick and ruined on the ocean floor, I could see the end of everything.
My life, such as it was.
My dreams, although I wasn’t sure what they are.
The end of any chance at love. The end of brownies with Mom.
The Seer was wrong, the end is now
.
And then I looked up and saw Mom’s face, and I knew I really was dying.
She was hovering above me, a golden vision, singing into my face and looking just as she did singing at the wedding. Heavenly and untouchable. Except that she was touching me. Picking me up in her strong arms, and swimming with me.
As I fell into the blackness that I assumed was the end of it all, I registered brief surprise that this was how the end comes, swimming off into oblivion in your mother’s arms.
Carragheen’s Pool
The pinpricks of light hurt my eyes and I resisted opening them.
Death should be more peaceful than this.
But they persisted, and cool hands followed, trying to pry open my eyelids. I batted futilely at the disturbance, but my hands moved only inches.
Ran help me, I wasn’t dead, but I was even sicker than last time. And very, very confused. Where was I, and how did I get from there, the place I’d died, to here?
A familiar, sweet-as-honey voice laughed at my efforts but even through the laughter I could hear the sadness. “Ransha, you are back with us.” And then, sensing my futile efforts to speak, the voice switched to telepathy.
It’s me, Lecanora. You are safe. At Carragheen’s Pool
.
I’d forgotten that the Princess had been trained in herbs and healing.
She lay cool fingers on my aching eyes and over my screaming ears. I remembered my manners.
Thank you
.
That very un-Princess like snort again.
It’s your own mother you should thank. I told you not to follow him
.
I tried to open my eyes, but Lecanora stopped me with her cool hands.
Don’t, Ransha. You are very sick. Wait a while. Don’t talk, try not to move
.
Then I heard Mom’s voice, close.
Rania, I’m here. Lecanora came for me, but I was already coming to find you
.
My brain blinked and buzzed.
How did you know where to look for me?
Mom patted my hair.
I could find you anywhere
.
My stomach fluttered and the question was out before I could fathom why concern about his wellbeing was so high up on the list of things torturing my injured mind.
Carragheen?
Mom patted me again, even more softly this time.
No-one knows, he disappeared
.
Just like a man
, I thought privately.
A lying, cheating man
.
Where was he going to when that thing struck me?
Was he responsible, for me, for this?
My heart rapped an angry drumbeat against my chest while my mind stuggled to make sense of it all. But if he wasn’t responsible, then he was probably dead, and if he was dead, it was definitely my fault. He might have been a louse, but he didn’t deserve to die because I got him caught up in this. I still wasn’t sure if this was just a dream.
How did you save me, Mama?
She squeezed my hand.
I sang to you. I arrived just as you were going down, it can’t have been more than a few seconds that it had you in its grasp. I was so scared. I’m sure if it had been any longer…
Get outta here.
You sang to me? Now let’s get this straight. There’s this thing, right? And it’s so freaky and surreal that it knocks me down with its first squeak, some secret sonar weapon thingy. And you just sing to me, and it all goes away?
She laughed, and then I knew it for sure. I really was still alive.
Well, it wasn’t quite that easy. It was a special song, a concentration of all my love and hope for you, with a dash of fear and anger thrown in. I don’t even know why I did it. The singing, I mean. It just welled out of me. I’m not sure I could do it again, honestly. But I saw you hurting, and it just came out of me. It seemed to protect me, from the sound. From the other song. And it let me get to you, help you
.
My brain ached as it tried to connect.
So that’s it? All we do is sing to fight this thing?
I don’t think so
. I could feel the fear and uncertainty from Lecanora.
Mom agreed.
No. Lecanora is right. I couldn’t have held it off long. I could feel its strength building. Growing. My song would not have been enough. It was just enough to stop it from affecting me for a little while, and to get you away
.
Wow, this was some head trip. Go figure, Mom to the rescue.
So what now?
Mom was in command of this little shebang.
You rest
.
Here?
She tutted gently.
Yes, here. It was the closest safe place we could get you to
.
Close, yeah. But safe? This could be the lion’s den. Or maybe the wolf’s den.
And I remembered. I had gone down near the cave thing. But what about what I had felt before that, skimming over the city? There was something here. Something was wrong here.
Very wrong.
But Mom was planning.
Then we have to go home
.
I almost choked.
Back to Dirtwater? Seriously? I can’t move, and I need to find Imogen
.
Mom’s internal voice was strong and clear. The kind she used when I was a kid to say “bedtime” or “no more Twinkies”.
Rania. This thing is dangerous. I don’t know what it is. But I think the answers lie back home. With the one you call Blondie, and what she can tell us
.
At Mom’s words, I suddenly felt like I was going to forget how to do the now-automatic skill of water-breathing and drown under all this ocean.
Cleedaline
.
Mom’s beautiful brows knitted together.
What, darling?
Her name was Cleedaline
. And then I was shaking. Shaking as I thought about Cleedaline and about my poor bruised brain and body. And about not knowing for sure when I was going to die. And about how I suddenly seemed to care very much. Maybe I was even shaking thinking about Carragheen too, and kicking myself for bringing everyone into something sick and dangerous. Something the visions were telling me was my baby to fix. Me, and some mysterious helpers. I groped for Mom and she held me in that Olympian’s embrace that always felt just exactly like home while I shook and shook like I had the DTs.
I cast my eyes down, trying to think it all through but crippled by the brain-ache that wouldn’t abate. As I did, I saw a tiny creature, a sand-worm, struggling in the thick sand of the ocean floor. The thing was minute, less than a quarter of an inch long, and he’d somehow fallen into a little landslide made by the suck and drag of the water. I watched him idly as I thought.
So little time left to me. Some horrible fate awaiting me.
And things I need to do, puzzles I need to solve, people I need to save before I go.
And maybe, just maybe if I could do it all right, save myself too. Save my life.
I looked at that little worm, struggling for all he was worth, pitching upwards against his inevitable fate with the meager strength of his body.
Mom saw me watching.
Amazing, isn’t it? The will to survive. It’s beautiful
.
Yeah, the will to survive. Is that it? Is that what I’ve suddenly, finally discovered after all this time, after all this freakin’ yoga?
I nodded toward her face, which was inscrutable as ever. What did she know?
Mom again.
Sometimes we don’t even know we’ve got it ‘til we’re tested
.
I watched her carefully. She was going somewhere with this.
She smiled serenely, as was her mermaid way.
I’m not so serene, Ransha. Not really. You know, some people accept everything that comes their way. That stuff about having the serenity to accept the things you can’t change. But do you know what I think?
I shook my head. She touched my face gently.
I think how do you know which are the things you can’t change unless you try to change them? It’s in our rage that the spark of life is found. The spark of humanity
.
I reached out my finger, although the ache made it feel like I was hefting barbells, and lifted the worm out of the sucking sand. And when it was done, I was different. No more meditation. Screw
embracing my fate and welcoming each moment until my end
. I didn’t want to die, and I was going to do whatever it took to make sure I didn’t.
Even if I had to save the whole freakin’ world to do it.
As I was contemplating how exactly I was going to do that, I realized Mom was right about something else too. Going home. The answers would only be discovered by old-fashioned detective work. As my old boss back in the city used to say:
police work ain’t rocket surgery, toots
. And the only real lead I had was at home, hidden by Larry and Doug.
At the thought of Doug, I got this spreading warmth all through me.
Now there was someone who had my back.
I filled Mom in, about Cleedaline and Imogen. She already had some of it. And she told me what she knew. She’d been called by the Queen to an audience. And from the moment Imd had started speaking, Mom had known that something was wrong.
Nothing specific, you know. Just a sense that things weren’ right. She was… vague. I knew she’d not been well, but…
I saw Lecanora’s hands ball into fists, and realized she must have already heard this. Mom glanced over at her before she went on, her face soft with concern.
I think they’re poisoning her. The Queen. She doesn’t seem sick, or injured, but she’s not herself. So, I don’t think they’re trying to hurt her, but they’re giving her something to make her… compliant
.
The Queen? What Aegiran would have the balls for that kind of treachery? My mind raced and groped, trying to make sense of Mom’s words.
What? She’s been poisoned? By who?
Mom shook her head, her blonde hair swirling around her like a beautiful anemone with a life of its own.
I don’t know. Whoever is responsible for Imogen, I think. And for hurting you
.
I held onto my temples with the effort of thinking through the ache in my brain.
It’s the Triad. It must be. They made everyone forget. Lecanora heard them talking
.
Mom nodded.
Yes, well, I would certainly like to know how they’re doing that. And why
.
But I needed to know more.
So did you help her? The Queen? Did you talk about what she wanted to discuss?
Mom shook her head sadly.
She was in no state. But I called Rashind, The Healer, and explained my concerns. He checked her and confirmed it. He administered a purging alchemy. She’ll be beyond the worst of it soon, a day or two at most. I have left her in capable hands. Her handmaiden, Rila, refuses to leave her side
.
Lecanora joined in.
Ah, Rila. She has been a goddess-send, offering quiet vigil, trying to coax me away for some food and rest of my own
.
I could not imagine how Imd must feel, and I was glad she had people close, who loved her. People she trusted.
Is she okay?
Lecanora’s eyes glowed silver.
She has realized the things that have been done in her name. She is bitterly angry with herself, cursing her weakness and trustfulness
. She shrugged a little.
Yet, still, she reminds herself that the actions of one cannot be attributed to the whole. She keeps telling me to remember that most people are good and loyal
.
A sound behind me drew my eyes.
And suddenly Carragheen was there, swimming groggily beside Rick, the dolphin.
“Hello, everyone,” Carragheen drawled, making that ridiculously sexy language sound even sexier. “Next time I make a dolphin joke, someone punch me. Meet my new best friend.”
Rick took a little bow, and telepathed directly to me, on the private channel we’d always used.
He’s kinda heavy, Rania, but he’s cute
.
I snorted, wondering why my knees were suddenly weak with what felt suspiciously like relief.
Cute, Rick, but bad news. Where did you find him?
But Carragheen was in our heads before Rick could respond.
Didn’t anyone ever tell you two it’s rude to carry out a private conversation in public?
Only now that my pulse had settled did I realize there had been a wild thrumming in my blood the whole time I’d thought he was gone. A kettle drum solo. But I stomped on the inner cheerleader that was now turning cartwheels. She’d been a sap once already today.
I needed some answers.
“So, Carragheen, you’re back. Where were you headed in such a hurry?”
Carragheen squirmed deep into my brain.
So I was right. You were following me? I thought I felt you
.
I mentally snapped at him.
Enough, Carragheen. Where were you going?
He broke off the contact with my mind, resigned to providing an explanation to all.
“Something you said, about the weapon. The silence. It triggered something for me. I used to gather herbs out by the southwestern ridges, and I came across a place, a cave. A place like nothing I’d ever experienced before.”