Fixated On You (Torn Series #5) (30 page)

Everyone that went to school knew about our extreme dislike of each other.

Olivia Taylor…

Was…

My first crush.

My first kiss.

My first love.

My first heartbreak.

Things fell apart during fourth grade and it hadn’t stopped since. I remembered the hate started when I received her letter. It was how she broke up with me.

Roses are red

Violets are blue

When I flush the toilet, I think of you.

To this day, I hated roses—or anything red or blue. The letter was of course burned with a match light in my backyard. Everything I felt for her then went to ashes.

It started little at first. A little teasing here and there, or a snide remark whenever she passed by, then it got to spitting showdowns. Summers without her here were pretty quiet.

Now my disruption was back. Living in my own home.
Wonder what kind of gimmick she’d create to rile me up?

I didn’t have to do anything, not really.

I knew for a fact that having me breathe the same air as her already made her furious.

All I had to do was keep my smug, cocky, sexy smile in place and it was guaranteed to drive her crazy.

Easy.

Torn Series:

1.
    Scornfully Yours
(
Emma
)

1.5
  Scornfully Hers
(Carter Mason)

2.
    Frayed
(
Trista
) out now

3.
   Blasphemous
(
Emma #2
)

3.5
Undeniably Yours (Bass Cole)

4.
    Scorned
(
Lindsey
)

5.   
Fixated on You
(
Emma #3
)

6.   
Unveiled
(
Lindsey #2
) Coming in 2014

7.
    Crushed
(
Amber
) Coming in 2014

Chasing Series:

Chasing Beautiful

Chasing Imperfection

Chasing Paradise

Chasing Forever
(Lucy + Toby)
Coming Winter 2014

Chasing Memories
(Kyle Matthews)
Coming in 2014

~

Lily’s Mistake
(out now)

Loving Lily
Spring 2014

~

Formula Men Series

Coming 2014

Monza
Luca di Medici

Nice
Jacques Bertrand

Barcelona
Andrès Franco

Upcoming Stand-Alone Novels:

My
Summer in Venice
2014

Pieces of You & Me
Fall/Winter 2013

Havoc
(Dark Erotica)

Bartered
(Dark Erotica)
Coming in 2014

The Woman In The Closet
Coming in 2014

Follow me for chats, updates and sneak previews for upcoming releases on Facebook or Twitter.

Thank you!

http://www.facebook.com/pamela.annauthor

https://twitter.com/PamelaAnnAuthor

pamelaa
nnbooks.blogspot.com

Remember Love

by

Riley Rhea

Closing and zipping my suitcase, I look around my apartment. I’m almost ready to spend a weekend at home. Then it’s back to finish my last month of school. I can't believe how fast it’s gone by. I’m so close that I can see the finish line. By this fall, I could be teaching history. I didn't have to move to Louisville to get my teaching degree. I could’ve gone to Western. After all it’s much closer to home. But then I would have been expected to live at home with my mom. I needed to get away and out into the world.

I grab my suitcase off the bed and head to the front door. Looking around to make sure I didn't forget anything, I see my sunglasses on the counter. I would’ve hated forgetting those. I may not need them now, but I will tomorrow. Now I am ready to go. Because it’s time to head home, I lock up behind
me and head over to my Xterra.

Pulling out of the parking lot, I head toward the interstate. I wonder what this trip will bring. For some reason, I have a feeling that something is going to happen that may change
me or my plans. I just have no idea what that could be.

One thing I hate about living in Louisville is the traffic; there are always so many cars on the road. At home, heavy traffic consists of being behind a tractor, bus, or Amish buggy with a line of cars trailing you.

Being from a small town isn't all it's cracked up to be. Everyone knows you and your business. You’re judged on what they think they know more so than what you really did. I hate it, but that is just the way it is.

Don't get me
wrong, I love where I grew up. But sometimes you just need to get out. Besides my family, there was no reason to stay, so I left. Going home this close to graduation gets my brain working. I wonder if it will help me decide where to pursue my career. My hometown or here where I call home now?

Who knows, maybe I’ll roll into town and be swept off my feet by my knight in shining armor. More like a country boy in Redwings and Wranglers.

Even when you forget, I’ll always remember.

I’ll be the keeper of our memories.

~ Author Unknown

As I roll into town, I decide to stop at Minit Mart to gas up my SUV and grab a snack and a drink. I pull in to the pump and go inside to prepay and get my items. As I'm standing in line, I hear the door open. Naturally I turn to see who it is. I’m stunned. I haven't seen this person in what seems like forever and, oh boy, has he changed. The gangly boy I used to play with is gone. Tucker Wade is all man now. I self-consciously wipe my chin to make sure I hadn’t drooled on it.

I turn away quickly because, of course, I would run into the one person that I actually like, looking as though I just rolled out of bed. No makeup, hair in a messy bun, yoga pants,
a long sleeved t-shirt, and flip flops.

I feel him behind me and can tell he’s really close. Tucker inhales deeply before his deep voice rumbles close to my ear. It’s deep and smooth and has the ability to make my knees weak.

Do not lock your knees, do not lock your knees,
Brenna.
No need to make myself pass out.

“Well, if it isn't Brenna James. Come back home, finally.”

I look over my shoulder at him and his face is right beside mine. Why is Tucker standing so close to me? I turn around completely so he has to take a step back. I look him up and down, the same as he is doing to me. Starting at his booted feet, I can’t help but to notice how damn good he fills out his well worn jeans. Then my eyes land on his shirt and I snort.

Attractive huh?

“Tucker Wade, I see you still bleed blue.”

He laughs, because let's face it, I’m in Big Blue Nation and am supporting my U of L T-shirt. He looks right at my shirt and shakes his head.

“One of these days you’ll come over to the winning side.”

“In your dreams, Tucker. You’ll never catch me wearing anything UK.” I laugh.

The next thing that comes out of Tucker’s mouth strikes me speechless, which is hard to do. “In my dreams, you’re wearing nothing.”

I’m standing here completely dumbstruck, mouth gaping. I am floored. Where did that come from? This is Tucker. The boy I climbed trees and rode bikes with. When did I stop being a
tom boy to somebody he would want to see naked?

“Close your mouth Brenna, before you catch flies,” he says.

Yep. Mouth was gaping. I quickly close it and turn back around because let's face it, I have no comeback for that. He caught me completely off guard.

Luckily it was my turn to pay and get the hell out of here before I say or do something I may or may not regret when I leave town again. After paying, I look at Tucker and tell him it was good to see him. He gives me this look like he knows something I don't and tells me he’ll see me around. Now that sounds promising.

As I am pumping gas, I look up and see Tucker coming out the door. He's talking to an older man that I don't recognize, but when he looks up, our eyes lock. He doesn't break contact until he gets to his truck. He smiles and winks at me, then climbs into his truck, and he's gone.

I hang up the gas nozzle and screw on the cap, jumping back into my SUV. Instead of heading to Mom’s like I’d originally planned, there’s something else I have to do first. As I drive toward the park my mind is racing. No matter what I do, I don’t know if I will ever get what he said and the way he was watching me out of my head.

My first thought that ran through my mind is I would like to see him around. Around midnight, the thought of Tucker wrapped around me and again around breakfast. Mind straight to the gutter.

I can't have these thoughts. I haven't seen him in forever, and damn, had I known he'd grow up to look like this, I may have stuck around after high school instead of going to college two hours away. 

I have to clear my head and think back to see if there is something I missed along all the years. I always wondered why people traveled from all over the world to visit my little hometown of Cave City. I’ve known all about Mammoth Cave National Park since I was a little girl, but living here all my life, I never understood the allure it held for tourists.

I understood once I began driving. I could spend days driving all over the park. It brings peace to my soul to see all the natural beauty and wildlife. There are so many places throughout the park for me to stop and think. I pull off to the road and look at the woods in front of me. Today I choose the closest attraction before entering the park.

The Sand Cave is as good a place as any. A lot of people stop here, but they normally don't stay long. As I stroll along the trail, I breathe in the smell of nature as peace settles in. My head begins to clear. I climb up on the railing and sit. Staring out into the woods, memories start to come.

I was eight years old the summer that Tucker and his family came to live on the farm. He was ten, and even though I was nothing more than a bratty girl, we became instant best friends. When Tucker wasn't helping on the farm, we were running through the fields or playing in the hayloft. My favorite thing we did together was climbing the big tree at the edge of the field.

“Brenna what are you doing?” he asks.

I drop my arms and turn to look at Tucker. “
What's it look like Tuck? I'm going up.” Rolling my eyes, I turn to the tree, stretching my arms as high as I can, trying to reach the lowest branch.

“You're too short. Here, let me help you.” Tucker squats and cups his hands.

I press my foot against his fingers and he boosts me up. Once I am settled on a limb large enough to hold the both of us, he climbs up and joins me. We sit there for hours. This tree becomes our favorite place.

I let out a small laugh as I remember the first time we climbed that tree. I can't remember what we talked about. Surely it was nonsense. I mean, we were just kids. When I found out we were moving into town the moving the following spring, it was the worst day of my adolescent life. I thought I'd never see Tucker again.

I ran down the lane between my house and my grandparents’, tears streaming down my face. As I ran past a field that was being planted, I heard someone call my name, but I didn't stop. I couldn't. I ran into the field and up to our tree. That’s where Tucker found me. He helped me up onto the tree, then climbed up after me.

“Brenna, what's wrong? Why are you crying?”

“We're moving, Tuck, and I don't want to go.”

Tucker put his arm around me and scooted me closer. We sat like that for what seemed like forever before he spoke again.

“I don't want you to go either.” He sighed and hugged me tighter.

As the sun got lower we climbed out of our tree. Tucker hugged me and kissed my cheek. “I'm gonna miss you, Brenna.”

“I'm gonna miss you too.”

Even though I only moved ten minutes away, I rarely saw Tucker over the next few years. When I was twelve I saw him one day while I was riding my bike, and just like that, I had my Tucker back.
For a little while, anyway.

Then there was the summer and fall when I was thirteen, I saw him as often as possible. I never think about that time, though. It’s too painful, because the summer I was fourteen, Tucker stopped coming around. And I never knew why.

After sitting there lost in thought for the last hour, I hopped off the rail and decided it was time to head home. Tomorrow is a new day and maybe it will bring more answers. Or maybe I’m reading too much into seeing Tucker today.  As I head back down the trail I take one more look around before getting into my SUV.

Several minutes later, I pull into mom’s driveway, grab my suitcase, and head to my room upstairs. After I place my suitcase on the bed I run back down the stairs and see my mom coming out of the laundry room as I walk into the kitchen. She moved here a few years ago to be near the farm, closer to my grandpa.

Mom glances at her watch and then looks at me. “I thought you'd be here earlier. What took you so long?”

“I ran into Tucker Wade at Minit Mart.” I don’t tell her about my side trip to Mammoth Cave National Park.

Mom says nothing, which I find a little odd since we have known the Wade family as long as I can remember. Maybe she just has a lot on her mind. I shrug it off and change the subject. “What time do I need to be ready to go to the farm tomorrow?” I ask. My grandpa, or Pa as I call him, is having a cookout for his friends, a kind of “thank you” to those who have worked for him over the years. But I think it’s really because my Pa loves to be surrounded by people.

“I’m leaving around noon. It starts at three. You can head over whenever you want.”

“Sounds good. Goodnight, Mom.” I say as I turn and head back upstairs.

“Goodnight, Brenna.”

Once in my room, I grab my suitcase and get out a tank and shorts to sleep in then put my suitcase on the floor and crawl under the covers. As I lay there, I think about the last time I hung out with Tucker. We were at the town fair when I was thirteen and he was fifteen, holding hands as we walked down Main Street.

“Come on, Brenna, let's go play some games.” Tucker smiled down at me as I rolled my eyes. He laughed. “If I win, you can pick the prize.”

“Do I get to keep it too?”

“Of course.”

Tucker wins me a stuffed animal, some snap bracelets, and a mirror with Tim McGraw’s picture on it. Later we saw his parents standing on the sidewalk, watching as people danced. Tucker's parents always treated me like I was one of their own, and I loved them for it.

As Tucker’s mom, Anna, spotted me, I put my finger over my lips to quiet her. Walked up behind Tucker’s dad, John, I covered his eyes with my hands.

“Guess who?” I laughed as John spun around, wrapping his arms around me.

“Little Brenna!” John smiled. “I think you get prettier every time I see you. Doesn't she, Tucker?”

I look at Tucker, who is staring intently at the ground, and I laugh.

Anna says, “You better get your butt over here and give me some loving too. You can't have both my men.” She laughs as John lets me go, and I give her a hug.

I sit up in my bed when I remember this. Did Anna really say that, and if so what did she mean?

I roll out of bed, stumble to my suitcase to grab today’s clothes,
then I head downstairs to take a shower. I don't see my mom and since it’s almost noon, I figure she’s already left for Pa’s cookout. This doesn't bother me. I love my Mom. She is always there when I need her, but we are not overly affectionate or needy with each other.

I dress in jeans, a fitted t-shirt, and boots before heading to the farm.
Glancing at the clock on my dashboard, I see it’s already two o’clock. Well, it looks like I will arrive a little early. I roll down my windows as I drive. Call me odd, but I love the smell of the country. Nothing like cow manure to open up your sinuses.

I park at the edge of the field in front of my Pa's house so my vehicle will be unobstructed by other cars when I decide to leave. That's the good thing about my SUV. I can easily drive this baby right through the field. I jump out, slam the door, and start to walk toward the house. I look at the ground as I walk because I know to watch my step on a farm.

A shadow appears beside me and I instinctively know who it is, but I look anyway. And yep I’m right. Thank God I’m wearing sunglasses and Tucker can't see me checking him out. He's dressed almost the same as he was yesterday except today he wears a plain white t-shirt and a ball cap. Lucky for him it’s camo and not UK blue. I snort out a laugh and Tucker grins at me.

That grin stops me in my tracks. His eyes travel from the top of my head to the tip of my boots. As his eyes rake over my body, I shiver as though I feel them everywhere.

“What are you grinning at?” I ask.

“You.”

Okay, that was helpful. “Why?”

“Because, if you run away again, I want to remember every single detail of the grown woman standing in front of me to go along with all the other details I’ve stored from years past.”

Oh wow, good answer. What the fuck do I say to that? “I didn't run away. I moved away to go to school.” Why does he think I ran?

“You could have gone to school closer or come back home more often to visit. It's been four years, Brenna. That seems like running to me.”

“Whatever, Tucker.” I don't understand where this is coming from. “What's so special here that I should’ve stayed?”

Tucker’s gaze goes out over the fields and I wonder if he’s going to answer. He finally looks at me and I'm not sure what I was expecting, but I know it wasn't what he says next. “I'm here.” With that he walks past, leaving me there stunned.

“Wait!” I say.

Tucker stops, but doesn't turn to face me.  I walk around to in front of him, confused. “What does that mean?”

He looks down at me and I hear him sigh. Then he steps forward and runs his finger down my cheek. My body reacts as though I’ve touched an electric fence. His finger leaves a trail of sparks along my skin.

Tucker says, “Just what I said, I'm here, and I thought I was something special. At least at one time, I was.”

“I don't understand. Where’s all this coming from? We were friends. You didn't even speak to me the last time I saw you. So, what’s this?”