Flaw (The Flaw Series) (15 page)

“Well, no. There’s something else.” He breathes in through his nose. “Did you tell Josh you thought he was a joke?”

I grit my teeth. “Did Josh tell you that or did Jordyn run and tell you?”

Aidan sighs. “Becca, I think maybe you and I were so scared of being labeled by those two that we went and did it to them first.”

I empty my wine glass and reach over to pour a refill. “Josh is a joke.” Saying those words again is painful. Picturing Josh as I say them is agonizing. The glass comes back up to my lips and I drain it. “Everybody tells me about him. Everybody. Even Patrick hunted me down just to warn me about him. Told me so much crap about all the things he did; so there, that’s how I know…he’s a joke.”

“That’s how you judge people now, by what other people say?”

“Um, no, but do you know what Josh’s mom said? She said he was a charmer who could talk his way into whatever he wants.” I place my hands flat on the table and lean in for affect. “His
Mom
said that.”

“Becca, he … ” Aidan stops, holding his hands up. “You know what. I said what I had to say. You do what you want.”

“That’s just great, Aidan. So now you’re gonna make me out to be the bad guy. You’re defending Josh but you kicked him out of the apartment less than a week ago. After you go apologizing to Jordyn, is he next on your list?”

“Yes.”

The waitress walks back over but a death look from me sends her in the opposite direction.

Aidan’s leg taps nervously under the table. “I talked to Josh already.”

“You, what?” I feel the color drain from my face. “When? What did you talk about?”

“We sorted some stuff out. Talked about Jordyn, talked about you. Said what we needed to say.”

“What did you say about me?” I try really hard to not sound as eager as I feel.

“I let him know that you and I are friends. Close friends, but just friends. That was something that just needed to be cleared up.”

“Is he moving back?” I ask in almost a whisper.

“No. He’s back home. He’s staying there. But me and him … ” Aidan rocks his head up and down. “We’re okay now.”

They’re okay now?
One little conversation and everything is all worked out between them? And what? Next he’s gonna run right over and fix everything with a snap of his fingers with Jordyn. “Well, that’s terrific. Good for you and all your apologizing. Aren’t you just so wonderful and I suck.” The wine spills onto the table as I fill my glass up to the top. “When Jordyn hurts you. Oh, and mark my words…she will. I’m not even gonna feel bad. I’m just gonna be like, I told you so.” The alcohol is not doing a good job mellowing me out. Instead, anger wells up inside of me and I slap my hand down on the table. “WAITRESS! WE’RE READY TO ORDER,” I bellow across the restaurant.

Jordyn

I can’t believe I’m doing this.

I can’t believe I’m about to be one of those girls who needs to do this. This is something I definitely did not plan on.

An hour drive to get to a place where I can only pray no one will recognize me. My hair is pulled back and hidden underneath an ivory cashmere hat. The matching scarf is wrapped up to my chin, aiding to conceal me further. It’s a Tuesday morning. The parking lot in front of the store has only one other car in it.
Looks safe enough
.

I walk into the store and take slow steps towards the back of the store where
they’re
kept. Each one is different and I have no idea which one is the best to choose.
Oh God, I can’t believe one night with Aidan has led me here to buy one of these
. Deep breaths fill my lungs, steadying me as I reach for the most expensive one on the shelf and hold it down low at my side. I walk swiftly back up the aisle and place it down on the counter.

The man behind the register looks from me to the box and raises an eyebrow. I know what he’s thinking. And I don’t want some forty year old guy with a bad toupee judging me. I look him directly in the eye and smile. Yes, needing one of these is a little embarrassing, but I am twenty two years old and it’s none of his damn business.

He takes his time ringing my purchase, collecting the money and giving me my change. “You need a bag for this?” he asks, a smug look smeared across his face.

If I need one of these, I obviously have raging hormones coursing through my body. Does he really want to mess with me? My eyes dart him a ferocious glare and the smirk clears right off his face. He places the box in a brown bag, handing it over to me.

Alone in my car I’m able to take a few seconds and actually look at my purchase, make sure I picked up the right one. My hands tremble, partly because I’m nervous, but also because I’m a little excited. I slide the box from the bag, flipping it over to read the print on the back.

Sleek, stylish, and waterproof. Multiple speeds. Requires three AA batteries, sold separately.

One night with Aidan and I’m that girl. The girl who goes out on Tuesday morning two towns over to buy a vibrator. Something I’m hoping can take the edge off and give me at least a few hours without the restless tossing and turning that sleeping has become.

I know Aidan talked to Josh and I know I’m next. He told Josh he would be calling me. But it hasn’t happened yet and I’m scared for when he does. Petrified. Yet every time my phone sounds I find myself desperately hoping it’s him.

Small hints of doubt have started to creep in. The unanswered “but” has turned into a question - Was there any truth to what Aidan said that night?

This constant battle in my head, I need it to end. The waiting to hear from him or see him. It’s getting to me. Instead of going home I make the decision to end the waiting and go straight to his apartment.

As soon as he opens the door, all my confusion goes away. Just seeing him makes me confident that what I feel for him is genuine. I’m positive he’s everything I want and everything that I need.

“I should be the one going to you.” His brown eyes burn into mine, swimming with apology. “I was out of line. My actions, my words. I hope you can forgive me.”

The actions he’s apologizing for go racing in front of my eyes, making my skin catch on fire. I pull a deep breath.

“Jordyn, I’m sorry I said what I did.”

I should have used my new purchase before coming over here. Any conversation we have right now would make more sense if I could think with a clear head. He looks over, waiting for me to respond. Only I can’t. I know there are things I want to say but the thundering of my heart is drowning away the words.

I have two options. I can walk out of here looking like a fool who lost the ability to speak or I can hop on him and do unspeakable things until my brain is able to fully function again.

The choice is clear.

He stumbles back as my body collapses desperately into his.

His hand reaches up to my face, sliding into my hair before giving it a gentle pull, tilting my head back, parting my lips with his tongue. Our clothes fall to the ground, leaving a trail as he leads me back into his bedroom.

The detailed ink over his sculpted muscles are a work of art. I run my hands over his defined chest, tracing circles over the impressive scales of the fire-breathing dragon, then lowering my hands until he yanks them back up and tosses me onto his bed.

My body responds to every touch, giving him complete control. His fingers, already familiar with my body, know all the right places to touch and caress, making me cry out for more. The brief moment when he steps back and I hear the tear of the foil builds my desire even more. I’m on one of the most effective birth control methods there is, but until we know each other better, extra precaution is good.

He comes back down to me, his hard body pressed on top of mine. In a quick movement he reverses our position. My body lifts up, letting him guide me down slowly on top of him.

The pleasure swells inside me, ready to send me off any moment. I try to hold back but the firm grasp his hands have on my hips and the steady rocking motion send me catapulting off the edge, screaming and digging my nails into the firm skin of his stomach.

He pulls me down, my lips crashing against his. He groans into a deep kiss before letting go with a shudder under my body.

“It’s okay. I forgive you,” I say between breaths. The first words I’m able to say, unless you count screaming his name.

“Wow, if that’s the way you forgive than I’m gonna have to think of some more things to apologize for,” he says, still gasping for air. His fingertips caress the skin of my shoulder and I relax down on top of him. This is exactly where I want to be, wrapped up in his strong, capable arms. All the doubts I’ve been having seem ridiculous now.

I lean in, turning my head up to smile at him while my hand traces little circles over his chest. “I like you, Aidan.” Even after sex, that’s the best my brain can come up with. He stays quiet and I wonder what’s going through his head.

“Jordyn, you said one night.”

“One night?” I have no idea what he’s talking about. I tilt my head to the side. “When did I say one night?”

“The night I went to your house, you said you wanted ‘one night’ with me.”

Did I really say that? No?
No wonder he said what he did. I can’t believe I said that. “I’m sorry. I don’t recall saying that. I didn’t mean it. I definitely want more than one night. Obviously.” My eyes sweep over his bare upper body.

“Why?” He sits up in the bed, leaning his head back against the wall. “What do you like about me? You want more than one night but what are we talking about here? Just sex or do you want something more?”

“More.” It’s an immediate response. “Aidan, the way I feel right now, wrapped up in you, I want to feel this way all the time. I’ve never had feelings for anyone the way I feel towards you. When you ask what I like about you, the answer is everything.” I ease up next to him, relaxing my head on his shoulder. “What about you? Do you like me?”

His body tenses up and the hand he’s rubbing down my arm stops moving. “Should I?” he asks softly. “Because once I let myself go there, it’s gonna be hard as hell on me if you change your mind.”

“Is this your way of saying you like me, too?” I turn and place a kiss on his chest.

He gets up, sitting on the edge of the bed, cradling his head so I can’t see his face. “Jordyn, this scar, it goes a lot deeper than just what you see.”

I pull the sheet up, covering myself, and sit up next to him on the bed. “What are you talking about?”

“My brother is the one who did this to me,” he says, looking to me for a reaction.

I keep my composure, holding back from showing the true way his statement causes me to feel.

“Actually, it was my stepbrother. I’m the disaster that resulted from my mother’s ‘troubled youth.’ My stepbrother, Jason, is her
real child
. The one she had when she married Jeremy and started her
real family
.”

“What do you mean? Were you treated differently?”

“You can say that.” His eyes narrow. “She shipped me off to live with my grandparents when I was just a kid. I grew up living with them in an apartment smaller than this one. But I can’t complain cause they were good to me. My grandfather died when I was twelve and it was just me and Gran after that.” He pauses for a moment, then goes on. “She and my mom never really got along. She was always mad at my mom for the bad choices she made and for abandoning me. After Gran passed away, she left everything she had to me. It wasn’t much but the money allowed me to stay in the apartment and be able to live on my own, even tucking a little extra away.”

“How old were you when she died?”

“It was right before I graduated from high school.”

I wait for him to continue, offering him my hand and he takes it.

“My brother struggles with the same addictions my mom has always has. I’d reached out to him after I heard he’d hit some low places. Thought maybe I could help; he was still my brother and it was never his fault for what my mom did. One night I got a call from a friend of his telling me he was at the bar by our house causing a scene. I went down to get him before he got himself into trouble. When I got there it seemed he had calmed down. I could tell he was high but everything seemed under control. We talked a little bit. I started to walk him out of the bar and,” he pauses. “No one saw the knife until it was too late.”

I suck in a breath and sit up straight, still careful not to show too much emotion.

“Instead of coming to the hospital to see me, my mom went right to him. It wasn’t a shock or anything.” Aidan tries to shrug off the hurt I know he’s feeling reliving this story. “The only visit I got in the hospital was when my mom came pleading with me not to press charges. That was it.” His voice goes ragged. “It was the only time anyone came and saw me.”

My heart shatters as he opens himself up to me, letting me inside his horror story. I lean my head back on his pillow, closing my eyes to make sure no tears come. Tears are weak and ugly and I don’t do tears.

“As soon as I could, I packed up and moved out here. A new location. A new state. A new life. I got a new job, met Becca, and started over again. I’ve learned in order to move on I need to forgive, and I have. But there are still days when the pain surfaces and those days are rough.”

These ugly things in his past, I can’t begin to fathom such things. I grew up privileged, surrounded by love and family, the way life is supposed to be.

“I’ve been through a lot, Jordyn, so when you tell me that you like me and ask me if I like you back, I need you to know what you’re getting yourself into.”

I’m up on my knees, propelling myself forward to cling to him. “None of that matters to me. I won’t ever hurt you, Aidan,” I vow. “You’re my prince.” I kiss his lips but he backs away from me.

“This isn’t a fairy tale, Jordyn. There’s no spell that’s gonna be broken. This is it. The scar on my face, the scar that’s left inside me, it’s there always, forever. Nothing’s gonna change that.”

“I understand.” I place my hands on his face and look him directly in the eye, changing my earlier statement and question to express the way I so strongly feel. “I love you Aidan. Do you love me?”