Tired? Listless? Inexplicably sad? These may be normal mood changes, or they may be signs of depression.
We are conducting clinical trials on depression and are looking for
$$ PAID $$ volunteers. You will be offered free evaluation and, if you qualify,
may receive experimental treatment as well as a handsome stipend.
No address, just a phone number with a 310 area code. I copied the information, kept scrolling, found two similar ads for the entire month, one researching phobias and featuring a different 310 listing, the other a study of "human intimacy" that provided a 714 callback.
"Human intimacy" had a sexual flavor to it. Racy research in Orange County? Sex was commerce to Lauren. Might something like that have caught her eye?
I obtained microfiche for the last quarter, checked classified after classified. No repeat of the intimacy ad, nothing even vaguely similar, and the only paid-research solicitation was for a study on "nutrition and digestion," with a campus phone extension that meant the med school. I wrote it down anyway, left the library, headed for the Seville.
Two girls gone missing, a year apart, very little in common.
Shawna had never been found. I could only hope that Lauren's disappearance would amount to nothing at all.
I drove home trying to convince myself she'd show up tomorrow, a little richer and a lot tanner, laughing off everyone's worries.
Gene Dalby had pegged her at thirty, and maybe he was right about her maturity. She'd been living on her own for years, had street smarts. So no shock if the last week came down to a quick jaunt to Vegas, Puerto Vallarta, even Europe—money shrinks the world.
I drove up the bridle path that leads to my house imagining Lauren partying with a potentate. Then seeing the dark side of the fantasy: Those kinds of adventures can go very bad quickly.
Lauren getting herself into something she hadn't counted on.
Silly to let my mind run. I barely knew the girl.
Thcjirl. She was well past childhood. No sense obsessing.
I'd bother Milo one more time, tell him about Shawna Yeager, receive the expected response—the logical detective's response—
Interesting, Alex, but. . .
I pulled up in front of the carport, pleased to see Robin's Ford pickup there, ready to stop wondering about a near stranger and be with someone I cared about.
But as I parked and climbed the stairs to the front door, I wondered: What would I tell Jane Abbot?
I knew I'd say little, if anything, to Robin about my day.
Confidentiality protects patients. What it does to therapists' personal relationships can be interesting. Private by nature, Robin's never had a problem with my not discussing work in detail. Like most artists, she lives in her head, can do without people for long stretches of time, hates gossip.
We've had perfectly romantic dinners where neither of us uttered a word. Part of that's her, but I tend to drift off and ruminate. Sometimes I feel she's not with me, and I know there are instances when she views me as inhabiting another planet.
Mostly, we connect.
I called out a "Looocey, I'm home, babaloo!" and she shouted back, "Ricky!"
She was in jeans and a black tank top, everything filling nicely as she squatted to fill Spike's feed bowl and sang along with the radio. Country station, Alison Krauss and Keith Whitley doing "When You Say Nothing at All." Whitley's rich baritone exhumed from the grave. Technology could resurrect sound waves, but it couldn't dampen a mother's grief.
Robin finished pouring kibble, stood, and stretched to her full, barefoot five-three. No bra beneath the tank top, and when I pressed her to me her breasts spread across my shirtfront. When I kissed her, her tongue tasted of coffee. Her auburn curls were loose and longer than usual—six inches past the middle of her back. When she gets her hair done, it's a half-day, three-figure affair at a place in Beverly Hills that reeks of nail polish and people trying too hard. I couldn't remember the last time she'd spent the time and money. Busy with a seemingly endless flow of guitar construction and repairs. "Better than the alternative" was her comment when I remarked on her long days. A few weeks ago she'd recorded a new phone message:
"Hi, this is Robin Castagna. I'm out in the studio carving and gluing, would love to talk to you, however it's going to be a while before I can be polite. If you have an urgent message, please leave it in detail, but..."
We kissed some more, and Spike yelped in protest. He's a French bulldog, twenty-five pounds of black brindle barrel, bat ears perked, and deceptively soft brown eyes. I'm the one who rescued him on a hot, arid summer day, but forget gratitude; the moment Robin smiled at him, I came to be viewed as an annoyance.
Keeping one hand on Robin's bottom, I set my briefcase on the table. Spike nudged her shin. She said, "Hold on, handsome."
"Sure," I said. "Keep feeding his ego."
She laughed. "You ain't chopped liver either."
Spike's flat face pivoted, and he glared at me—I can swear he understands English. His attenuated larynx let out a strangled growl, and he pawed the floor.
"Tom Flews deigns to speak," I said.
Grumble, grumble.
"Don't feud, boys," said Robin, bending to pet him. "Long day, sweetie?"
"Me or him?"
"You."
I'd thought the cheer in my voice sounded authentic, wondered why she'd asked. "Long enough, but over."
Spike sputtered. A twenty-one-inch neck quivered. Drool sprayed.
"I'm staying for the evening, pal. Deal with it."
His eyes pinched at the corners as he let out a belly grunt. I kissed the back of Robin's neck, as much out of spite as anything. Spike began bouncing higher than stumpy legs had any right to take him, and Robin added something from the fridge to his dinner and toted it to the service porch. His nose was buried before the dish hit the floor.
"Is that last night's Stroganoff?" I said.
"I figured we're finished with it."
"We are now."
She laughed, bent, picked up a stray bit of meat, hand-fed it to him. Breathing hard, he plunged his head back into the bowl. "Bon appetit, monsieur."
"He'd prefer foie gras and a fine burgundy," I said, "but he'll condescend."
She laced her arms around my neck. "So, what's up?"
"What shall our dinner be?"
"Haven't thought about it," she said. "Any ideas?"
"How about his leftovers?"
"Now you're being cranky." She started to leave, but I held her back, stroked her neck, her shoulder blades, slipped my hands under the tank top and kneaded the knobs of her spine, cupped a breast—
"Food, first," she said. "Then, maybe."
"Maybe what?"
"Fun. If you behave yourself."
"Define your terms."
"I'll define them as we go along. So what went wrong today?"
"Who says anything went wrong?"
"Your face. You're all stressed around the edges."
"Wrinkles," I said. "The aging process."
"Don't think so." Her small, fine-boned hand topped my knuckles.
"Look," I said, stretching my lips with my thumbs and letting go. "Mr. Happy."
She said nothing. I sat there and enjoyed her face. Another heart-shaped face. Olive-tinted, set upon a long, smooth stalk, framed by the mass of curls. Straight, assertive nose, full lips swelled by a hint of over-bite, the faintest beginnings of crow's-feet and laugh lines around almond eyes the color of bittersweet chocolate.
"I'm fine," I said.
"Okay." She played with her hair.
"How was your day?"
"No one bugged me, so I got more done than I'd planned." Her hand finger-walked over to mine, and she began playing with my thumb. "Just tell me this, Alex: Is it one of your own cases or something Milo's gotten you into?"
"The former," I said.
"Got it," she said, zipping a finger across her lips. "So nothing dangerous. Not that I'm harping."
"Not remotely dangerous," I said. Remembering the talk we'd had last year. After I'd role-played with a group of eugenic psychopaths and ended up too close to dead. The pledge I'd given her . . .
"Good," she said. "'Cause when I see you . . . burdened, I start to wonder if maybe you're feeling constrained."
"It's just a case from the past that I might've handled better. I need to make a few phone calls, and then we can figure out dinner, okay?"
"Sure," she said.
And that's where we left it.
I went into my office, poured the contents of my briefcase onto the desk, found the numbers Gene Dalby had given me for Professors Hall and de Maartens, and dialed. Two answering machines. I left messages. Next: Adam Green, the student journalist. Information had four Adam Greens listed in the 310 area code. No sense, at this stage of the game, trying to figure out which, if any, was the kid who'd covered the Shawna Yeager story. He'd spent three weeks of his life on the story a year ago. What could he possibly have to offer?
Arranging the photocopies I'd made of the Daily Cub microfiches, I retrieved the three phone numbers accompanying the want ads. The depression and phobia study listings were out of service, and the Orange County intimacy project—I'd saved the best for last—connected to a Newport Beach pizza parlor. In L.A. it's not just the tectonic plates that shift.
Finally, I looked up hotels and motels in Malibu and made a dozen calls. If Lauren had checked into any of the establishments, she hadn't used her real name.
One last call: Jane Abbot. That would wait till tomorrow.
No, it wouldn't. I dialed the Valley number, planning to be vague but supportive, careful not to leech her hope. The phone rang four times, and I rehearsed the little speech I'd deliver to her robot guardian—ah, here he was: "No one can take your call but if you care to . . ."
Beef.
"Mrs. Abbot, this is Dr. Delaware. I've talked to a police detective about Lauren. Nothing really to report, but he's been made aware of the details. I'll stay on it, get back to you the moment I learn—"
A real man's voice broke in, very soft, halting. "Yes?" I identified myself.
Long silence.
I said, "Hello?"
"This is Mr. Abbot." More of an announcement than an exchange.
"Mr. Abbot, your wife spoke to me recently—"
"•Mrs. Abbot," he said.
"Yes, sir. She and I—"
"This is Mr. Abbot. Mrs. Abbot isn't here.''''
"When will she be back, sir?"
Several seconds of dead air. "The house is empty. . . ."
"Your wife called me about Lauren, and I was getting back to her."
More silence.
"Her daughter, Lauren," I said. "Lauren Teague."
Still nothing.
"Mr. Abbot?"
"My wife's not here," said the frail voice plaintively. "She goes out, comes back, goes out, comes back."
"Are you all right, sir?"
"I'm upstairs, trying to read. Robert Benchley—ever read Benchley? Funny as hell, but the words get small ..."
"I'll call back later, Mr. Abbot."
No reply.
"Sir?"
Click.
8
I HUNG UP, tried to figure out what had just happened.
Robin knocked on the doorjamb and said, "Ready." She'd put on a tiny little charcoal sweater over a long, gray tweed skirt and glossed her lips. Her smile made putting the call aside a little easier.
We ended up at a Japanese place on Sawtelle south of Olympic, the only business open at night in an obscure little strip mall. We were the only non-Asians in the room, but no heads turned. A gaunt chef chopped something eelish behind the sushi bar. A tiny woman showed us to a corner booth, where we drank sake, laced fingers, and talked very little, then not at all. The service was formal but perfect as another diminutive woman brought us boxes of warm sake and pinches of exquisite food. The quiet and the dimness took hold, and when we stepped out into the night ninety minutes later, my lungs and brain were clear.
When we got back Spike was baying miserably, and we took him for a short walk up the glen. Then Robin ran a bath and I stood around doing nothing. Finally, I gave in and checked my messages, thinking again about Jane Abbot's husband.
Callbacks from Professors Hall and de Maartens. In Hall's case by proxy—a young man identifying himself as "Craig, the Halls' house sitter," informed me cheerfully that "Stephen and Beverly are in the Loire Valley with their children and won't be back for another week. I'll pass the message along."De Maartens spoke for himself, in a mellow, accented, puzzled voice. "This is Simon de Maartens. I have checked my records, and Lauren Teague was indeed enrolled in my class. Unfortunately, I have no personal recollection of her. Sorry not to have been more helpful."
Robin called out, "Join me," from the bathroom, and I was out of my clothes when the phone jangled. I let it ring and had a good soak, took my time washing her hair, then just lying back in the womb-warmth of the tub. Scrubbing and sponging led to caressing and nibbling, then giggling aquatic contortions that flooded the floor. We tripped to bed, made love till we were breathless, left the covers soaked and foaming with soap bubbles.
I was still gasping when Robin got up, wrapped herself in one of my ratty robes, danced into the kitchen, and returned with two glasses of orange juice. She poured juice down my gullet, spilled a good deal of the liquid, thought that was hilarious. My revenge was sloppy, and we changed the sheets. When she went to dry her hair, I put on a T-shirt and shorts, stepped onto the rear terrace, propped my elbows on the redwood railing, stared out at looming black shapes—the pines and cedars and blue gums that coat the hills behind our property.
Feeling like a California guy.
I was somewhere on the way to torpor when Robin's voice stirred me: "Honey? Milo's on the phone. He says he called half an hour ago."
The ring I'd ignored.
She said, "You can take it in here. I'm going down to the pond— there's a spotlight out."
I went inside, picked up the bedroom extension. "What's up?"
"Your girl," said Milo. "The Teague girl. She's my business now."
Nine P.M., Sepulveda Boulevard. The commercial strip south of Wilshire and north of Olympic. Discount outlets, animal emergency rooms, ironworks, furniture wholesalers. Except for the veterinarians, everything shut down for the night. A cat screeched.