Flickering Hope (15 page)

I
rolled up the taped-together map and put it in my jacket pocket along with the compass. I slid the wrapped frame in my backpack and checked my watch. Five thirty. Time to go.

“Take these.” Dad handed me his industrial strength flashlight and his cell phone. “Call if you need anything.”

Outside, the sunset had deepened into twilight. I closed the door behind me and crunched out into the quiet snow, wondering what I would say to Andrew. After a few failed attempts in my mind, I gave up. I’d say whatever bubbled out, the way shaken-up soda bursts from its can. For now, I let the quiet of the forest surround me, step after step. Once I had stepped into the trees,
I took out the map and compass and began following the instructions. The path through the snow wasn’t entirely clear, but Andrew had counted steps and noted them on the map. Forty steps to the northwest. Turn left. Ten steps to the north. Turn right. Fifty steps due west.

As the darkness deepened, I took out my flashlight, only checking the map for each new direction, holding only the light and the compass. My attention tightened to this moment, this next instruction. I knew, somewhere out there, not too far away, Andrew had arranged some surprise for me. If only figuring out life was this easy, with a map, and a compass, and a flashlight to light my way. Maybe then I wouldn’t get things so wrong so much of the time.

Images of the last few days, of Frankie and me talking to Mr. Pearson, of the youth group joyfully setting up the cabin, of Roxy’s family seeing their new house, floated into my mind.

I stopped walking. For the past few weeks, I’d felt totally lost, as though God was so far away, so impossible to understand. Now, in the past few days, I felt something new happening. As though he was just beyond my reach, beckoning me, replacing my frustration with new thoughts, with a whispered,
Look here. See this?

Is that you?
I whispered into the darkness.

The answer was like silk slipping around my shoulders, softly wrapping around me until it pooled on the ground, so tangible I shone my light on the snow to see if actual fabric laid at my feet. My flashlight’s golden light reflected on the white snow, as the answer settled deep into me.

I’m right here.

I looked up, the falling snow streaking white against the black sky, and I breathed in deeply. My arms raised at my sides, and I started spinning, slowly at first, letting the snow kiss my cheeks, and then I spun faster, faster, and faster until I closed my eyes against the dizziness and collapsed in the snow, laughing. I had thought that Andrew’s gift was the best present I could imagine, but this was so much better, and I couldn’t even put it into words.

Finally, when my head stopped spinning, I opened my eyes and took out my map. Only two directions left. Twenty steps to the northwest and one hundred steps to the north. I hurried on, and when I turned from the northwest to the north, I saw flickering in the trees. I stumbled forward, not worrying about the map anymore. Soon I saw the entire clearing lit by candles stuck directly into the snow. In the center of the clearing, Andrew sat on a red and white plaid picnic blanket, facing away from me. A picnic basket sat beside him.

He started ringing jingle bells.

“So, you’ve been waiting out here since December first?” I asked.

“Sorry I couldn’t have you over to my house the day after Thanksgiving.” He stood and turned to look at me. “I was a little busy.”

I ran over to him and threw my arms around him, giving him a huge hug, and then stepped back, embarrassed. “I’m sorry I broke the calendar. It wasn’t on purpose … at first. And then I guess I kind of threw a temper tantrum. Thank you for fixing it. And for making it. It’s utterly amazing!”

We sat down on the blanket, and he poured hot cocoa for us and took out a selection of Christmas cookies. I took off my gloves, gently pulled his gift out of my backpack and handed it over.

“Was I that obvious?” he asked.

“I didn’t know until the calendar was fixed after the hospital,” I said.

He grinned. “Good.”

He opened his present. He took his gloves off and ran his finger over each scene. Finally he said, “Thank you, Sadie.”

His long lashes were shadowy in the candlelight. He held my gaze, his eyes warm and all lit up from the inside. It was the same look he’d given me so many times these past few weeks, the look that had so confused me, but now, finally, it made sense. I felt the same way too, like my happiness had grown too big to fit inside my body and would overflow any minute. He reached over and twined his fingers through mine. I leaned my head on his shoulder, and he put his arm around me.

We sat there in the candlelight for a long time, talking and laughing until the hot cocoa and cookies were gone. I remembered how afraid I had been on Thanksgiving of what would happen if Andrew and I were anything more than friends.
Maybe, Pips,
I said silently.
Maybe he’s just the tiniest bit of a crush.

“Time for Christmas.” Andrew stood and helped me up. We blew out the candles and collected them in the picnic basket and his backpack, and I followed him back toward my house.

When Dad threw open the front door, he grinned. “Told you it wasn’t me.”

Andrew waited with us while Mom finished dressing in the new pajamas Dad bought her for Christmas, and then Dad carried Mom, slippers and all, out to the Jeep. I grabbed my presents for Ruth and Helen, and Andrew scooped up Higgins. We piled into the car and laughed as Dad spun the tires on purpose on the way out the driveway.

Mom told her gravy-disaster stories on the way to the research station, and we laughed so hard we were in tears by the time we arrived. I couldn’t tell if I was laughing or really crying, but I knew whatever this feeling was, it had everything to do with happiness. Even though Mom’s cheeks were still pale, she smiled her real smile, the smile that crinkled the skin around her eyes.

Dad pulled into the research station. Ruth’s family was already there, and we threw open our doors to head inside. I carried Higgins, and Dad carried Mom again. I waited at the front door, holding it for them, feeling the warm air from inside, the smells of spices and Christmas Eve fondue wafting out toward us.

Dad set Mom down inside the door, and suddenly I realized everyone was looking at me.

“What?”

No one answered, but Higgins barked and rushed inside.

I followed him in. “What is it, Higgy?”

I heard a laugh that could only come from one person. “Stop. Down. Not my face,” she said.

“Pips?” I shouted, running around the corner.

“Sades!” She threw herself into my arms, and then we were laughing and hugging and she was telling me how hard it was to keep the secret about coming for Christmas.

I dragged her over to introduce her to Ruth, but of course they had already met, and then I hugged Pippa’s parents and even her sister, Andrea.

“You better appreciate this, Sades.” Andrea tugged on my braids, grinning. “I gave up a big Christmas party for you.”

“So, what do you think?” Pippa flopped down on the couch next to me, as everyone settled into the station. “Is it better than a kitten?”

Higgins jumped up on my lap, and Andrew and Ruth piled onto the couch to join us.

“What do you think, Hig? Pips or a kitten? Which do you prefer?”

He barked and licked Pippa’s face from chin to hairline, making her shriek and hide her face behind my shoulder. “Make him stop!”

I laughed and laid my head back against the couch, squished between Higgy, Pips, Andrew, and Ruth and let my happiness whirl around me, like the snow in the forest.

“It’s perfect, Pips,” I said. “Absolutely perfect.”

THE END

Other Books in the Growing Faithgirlz!™ Library

Fiction

From Sadie’s Sketchbook

Shades of Truth (Book One)

Flickering Hope (Book Two)

Sophie’s World Series

Sophie’s World

Sophie’s Secret

Sophie Under Pressure

Sophie Steps Up

Sophie’s First Dance

Sophie’s Stormy Summer

Sophie’s Friendship Fiasco

Sophie and the New Girl

Sophie Flakes Out

Sophie Loves Jimmy

Sophie’s Drama

Sophie Gets Real

The Girls of Harbor View

Girl Power

Rescue Chelsea

Raising Faith

Secret Admirer

The Lucy Series

Lucy Doesn’t Wear Pink (Book One)

Lucy Out of Bounds (Book Two)

Lucy’s Perfect Summer (Book Three)

Lucy Finds Her Way (Book Four)

Boarding School Mysteries

Vanished (Book One)

Betrayed (Book Two)

Burned (Book Three)

Poisoned (Book Four)

Nonfiction

My Faithgirlz Journal

The Faithgirlz! Handbook

The Faithgirlz! Cookbook

No Boys Allowed

What’s A Girl To Do?

Girlz Rock

Chick Chat

Real Girls of the Bible

Faithgirlz! Whatever!

My Beautiful Daughter

Beauty Lab

Body Talk

Everybody Tells Me to Be Myself,
But I Don’t Know Who I Am

Girl Politics

Bibles

The Faithgirlz! Bible

NIV Faithgirlz! Backpack Bible

Faithgirlz! Bible Studies

Secret Power of Love

Secret Power of Joy

Secret Power of Goodness

Secret Power of Grace

Check out www.faithgirlz.com

NAOMI KINSMAN
has always dreamed of plunging into a fictional world, like Lucy does in Voyage of the Dawn Treader. In Naomi’s fi rst career, acting and directing for the theater, this dream was inches from her reach. Writing, however, has made the impossible possible, and now Naomi regularly slips into book worlds and has fantastical adventures. Naomi shares these adventures through her company, Society of Young Inklings, dedicated to empowering young writers across the country. Naomi lives in Northern California with her husband and identically colored pets: a tuxedo cat and a Portuguese water dog.

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Flickering Hope
Copyright © 2011 by Naomi Kinsman Downing

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