Authors: Brenda Jagger
She received us alone, neither her brother nor her grandfather having returned from hunting, walking abruptly into the room in her inevitable dark green riding-habit, its trailing skirt looped over her arm, two elderly gundogs padding stiff-legged at her side, a pair of greyhounds, a frisk of terriers following behind.
âMy word!' my mother said, when the conventional greetings were done, âI hear you have a cloisterâmay we risk the encounter of a ghost or two?'
And immediately, without ceremony, we were taken to see the cloister, a dim, empty tunnel leading to no tangible place at all but directly into the past. âThey pulled down the Abbey church,' Georgiana said, âmy great, ever-so-great-great-grandfathers. But they left part of the abbess's house and this cloister intact. I once spent the whole night here, as a child, quite alone, curled up in a blanket, just thinking about it. Don't you find it the most fascinating place in the world?'
âAbsolutely.' Blaize said, his eyes ignoring the intricate fan-vaulting and resting directly on her vivid, eager face. And instantly her quite breathless admiration of the stone tracery, the hushed mystery of this ancient place, gave way to a boyish, unabashed chuckle.
âOhânonsenseâfor you are teasing me. Pretending to admire my cloister and looking at me instead. But I am not deceived.'
âMiss Clevedon,' he declared, his hand on his heart a smile of pure mischief on his lips. âI am the most sincere of menâ'
âHe is the greatest flirt the world has ever known,' Caroline said tartly. âAnd it is very cold in hereâand the air not quite fresh. Matthew, I would like to go outside.'
âSo you shall, for I want to have a look at Perry's stable.' Sir Matthew said, aware, one supposed, that quite soon he would have the purchase price of any horse in the county, despite the restrictions my Uncle would endeavour to tie into the marriage-contract. But Caroline was nervous of horses, Blaize not obsessive. Miss Clevedon remarkably agreeable to his suggestion that, while his mother and mine returned to the house, we should take a stroll.
âShow me these famous abbey grounds,' he invited her and so we walked a while in the, thin sharp air, my feet and Caroline's uneasy on the stony pathways. Miss Clevedon striding out, her hips as narrow and flat as a boy's, no blood on her cheek today, but a certain translucence, a quick-rising vitality, her hair turning to pure copper at every uncertain shaft of winter sunlight.
She had spent all her life here at the Abbey, she told us, just a few miles distant from Tarn Edge, but as unaware of our existence as we had been of hers. The city, to her meant Londonâand that to be avoided whenever possibleâthe rest mere collections of houses, a strange, restricted way of life she did not care to understand. She had been happy hereâevery day of her life she had been happyâgloriously content with the company of her brother and her grandfather, and their sporting friends.
And a mere half hour of her company sufficed to make it clear that her brother, Peregrine Clevedon, who was reckless and spendthrift and would have fallen foul of the law more than once had it not been for his family connections, could do no wrong in her eyes, that her grandfather, Mr. Gervase Clevedon, was of a nobility and wisdom falling little short of the Deity, that her Abbey was the master-plan besides which the rest of the world's great buildings did not really signify. She was herself a passionate horsewoman, having ridden to hounds six days a week every season since she had turned five years old; and was no mean shot either, although she could not match her brother's record of killing ninety-six pheasants, one smoky Autumn day, with ninety-six shots, eighty grouse with eighty shots, thirty-four partridges with thirty-four shots.
âI believe you pity those of us who have not lived as you have.' Caroline acidly remarked, to which Miss Clevedon gave her sudden, almost startled peal of laughter, tossed her head, as restive and open-hearted as a young colt, and declared that she believed she did.
âBut you can hardly expect to live here forever? One assumes your grandfather is not immortal, and that your brother may marry?'
But Miss Clevedon was not dismayed. âOh, but it is the Abbey and the estate that matter, you see,' she explained to an increasingly distant Caroline. âWhen my grandfather dies it will all be Perry's, and then his children's, and theirs. We will still be here, life-tenants handing into the future what was given to us by the past. That's the great thing. That
is
immortality, don't you see?'
âHow comforting.' Caroline said, walking briskly forward, pausing as she reached the river-bank, her eyes critically scanning the fragile bridge.
âCan that be secure, do you think?'
âI daresay it is not,' Miss Clevedon called out, âbut I never use it.' And catching up her skirt still higher, she sprang lightly on to the first stepping stone, and then the second, her boots up to their heels in water, swaying slightly, deliberately, as she flung down her challenge.
âWould someone care to race me to the other side?'
âI hardly think so.' Caroline told her, Barforth fury visibly mounting, since it was clear to her that Matthew Chard, had she not been there to restrain him, would have plunged readily enough into the stream, good, broadcloth jacket, best cambric shirt and all.
âI'll venture myself on the bridge,' Blaize offered. âAnd rescue you at the other side.'
âThere'll be no need to rescue me, Mr. Blaize Barforth, I do assure youâ'
And they were off. Miss Clevedon leaping, splashing, from stone to stone, her hair coming down in a guinea-gold tangle, her feet kicking up a fine spray as she went, Blaize on the bridge, not hurrying but keeping pace with her, reaching out a hand as they both came to the far bank, allowing her, for just a moment, to pull him forward towards the water.
âI'll give you a soaking yet, Mr. Barforth.'
âI think you will not.' And then her quick, gurgling laughter as he tugged her sharply on to the grass and, for an instant, into his arms.
âMatthew, go after them.' Caroline commanded. âThey must not be alone together over there.'
But to Matthew Chard, accustomed to the free and easy hunting society of Leicestershire, the sophistications of Oxford and London, these were the notions of Methodism, of the middleclassesâshopkeepers'moralityâand lounging some what irritably against the bridge he said. âGood lord, Caroline what harm are they doing?'
âNone, if they come back at once. But if they go up the hill and out of sight that young lady may well find herself compromised.'
âLord!' he said again, half amused, half wishing, perhaps, that he had gone hunting after all. âI have been up that hill alone with her a dozen times and thought nothing of it. These things don't signify, I reckon, in goodâI mean, in the countryside.'
But before she could give him her opinion of his countryside, knowing full well he had almost said âin good society', they were back again, Miss Clevedon breathless, almost beautiful, Blaize in no hurry to release her hand. And, smiling at him, fond of him as I was, wishing him well as I did, my treacherous thought still reached out to him: âFall in love with her, Blaize. Or make her love youâas you could, if you tried, if you wanted to.'
We started for home soon after, Matthew Chard remaining at Galton to await the arrival of Miss Clevedon's brother, and the house was scarcely out of sight, the superb Barforth carriage-horses making light of the distance, when Caroline, who had remained very cool said to her mother, âI think you should know that Blaize has behaved very foolishlyâin fact, very badly.'
âI wonder,' Aunt Verity said. âHave you, dear?'
âYes and no,' he told her, the understanding between mother and son quite complete. âBadly perhaps. FoolishlyâI don't think so.'
âI expect you have been flirting with Miss Clevedon?'
âI have.'
âAnd enjoying it?'
âImmensely.'
âAnd she may have enjoyed it too. But is it really wise, dear?'
âOf course it is not wise,' Caroline cut in, âsince the girl is angling for a husband, and he is too blinded to see why.'
âMy dear Caroline,' he said, a perfect imitation of her own grand manner, âI am well aware of her reasons, believe me. Their property is in ruins, the brother is too wild for any woman to marry, and so Miss Clevedon has elected to make the supreme sacrifice. She doesn't like the idea of marrying a manufacturerâmy word, she doesn't like it, and it is an indication of her devotion to her family that she is willing to undertake it at all. In fact I am flattered that, in my case, she feels it could be less horrific than she'd anticipated.'
âThen you admit her to be an odious, unfeeling creature?'
âI admit nothing of the kind,' he said, leaning sharply forward, âfor she is every bit as enchanting as I have been telling her these past few weeks And she is very far from being unfeelingâvery far. I will tell you this, Caroline, she is exactly the kind of girl a man might come to love, quite foolishly, without at all wanting to, you may believe me. She could get inside a man's head, and his skin, and he could find himself quite unable to get rid of her, no matter how much he tried. It would take a warm-hearted man, of course, which puts me out of the running, you'll surely agree?'
âSo you have done with her?'
âHave I? Very likely, I am going to London at the end of the week in any case. And if it eases you, Carolineâsince this will not shock mother and Aunt Elinor, and Faith may stop her earsâI have a friend in London who intrigues me, perhaps not quite so much as Miss Cleyedon, but who is considerably easier of access. Soâprobablyâyou have nothing more to fear on her account, and mine.'
âWell, I am glad of that, although you need not snap at me.'
âWhat is it, Faith?' my mother said, quietly for her. âAre you not well, dear?'
And, forcing my mouth to smile, an effort made through a sudden weight of weariness, I said. âNoânoâit's the cold, that's all, mamma. Just the cold.'
My sister Celia had her child at the beginning of February, a boy some weeks ahead of his time who lived but a moment or two; and it chanced that when her pains started she and I were alone in the house together, Jonas in Leeds on business, my mother and Prudence on an excursion to Harrogate. Aunt Hannah so unacceptable to Celia that I sent at once for Dr. Ashburn, not daring to imagine the consequences to myself, and to my sister, if he could not be found.
âIt is nothing,' she said, plainly terrified. âNot at all what you are thinking, in any case.' And, seeing the beading of sweat on her thin, seventeen-year-old face, the utter panic in her eyes, my little sister, trying hard, even now, to play the matron, I told her, âNonsense. I may be unmarried, Celia, but I have learned that babies do not grow under a gooseberry bushânor in the doctor's bag, either.'
âThen you know more than I didâlast year,' she gasped, biting her lips, allowing me to take her upstairs and hold her hand, her fingers gripping hard, the sheer outrage in her face comic, had it not been so totally appalling.
âDarlingâdarling Celiaâit's going to be all right.'
âAll right? It's disgusting!' she cried out, teeth digging vixen-sharp into her lip, âdisgustingâall of it!'
âOh no, darling, it's natural, isn't it?'
âWhat do you know about it? You don't even know what I mean. It's horrible. I'm telling you. It's disgusting.'
âCeliaâI don't knowâbut I think you should calm yourself.'
âWhy? Why should I?'
âBecause I think you should. And the doctor will soon be here.'
âThe doctor,' she spat out. âThe doctorâwhat's a doctor? Another man coming to maul meâdear God!âdon't leave me, Faith. I won't be left alone with him.'
But Giles Ashburn, appearing blessedly, almost silently, would not have me stay, disengaging her frantic hand from mine with quiet authority.
âMrs. Agbrigg, I am going to help you and you must help me to do so. Miss Aycliffe, if you will wait downstairsâ'
âNo!' Celia screeched, thrashing her body wildly again.
âYes,' he replied, opening the door for me, leaving me with no option, although he had not even raised his voice, but to obey.
Jonas would be here before it was over, I thought, calculating the time of the last train, and my mother, who would come immediately on reading the note I had dispatched to Blenheim Lane. But the afternoon had scarcely darkened. I had been but an hour or two, it seemed, staring into the fire, trying not to heed the mutfled sounds, overhead, not to dwell on my sister's frailtyâmy own helplessnessâwhen Giles Ashburn was back again; telling me with his great quietness that although my sister was as well as one could hope her to be, her son, who had been born too quickly, too soon, had not survived.
âThere was nothing that could be done,' he said very carefully, uncertain as to how much, if anything, I knew of the process of human reproduction; and, understanding the pains he was taking neither to shock nor offend me, since I might well have to endure it myself one day, I nodded, not wishing to increase his burden.
âMay I go up to her?'
âIt would be best if she could sleep now, for a while. My nurse is with her.'
âOf course. Was sheâmuch distressed?'
âNot yet. Later, perhaps.'
And conscious suddenly, quite sickeningly, of the tiny, lifeless body which would have been my nephewâconscious of my sister's painâI cried out, âIt is such a waste.'
âYes,' he said, still enveloped in his quietness. âI know. Miss Aycliffe, there is no reason now for you to stay. I shall be leaving shortly, since my nurse can do all that is necessary. May I take you home?'
âOh no. She may wake, you seeâand then there is Jonas. Someone must be here when he arrivesâto tell him. He should not be allowed to hear it from a parlourmaid.'