Flying Under Bridges (35 page)

Kate
nodded again.

John
nodded. ‘I had no idea. I’m so sorry.’

It
would probably be fair to say that what followed was a socially awkward moment.

No one
wanted to hurt Lawrence. He was bereaved and everyone felt his pain, but he
had come for some truth, and Kate, dying Kate, had provided it. The shattered
man of God slowly rose from his seat. Perhaps he had no other defence left. He
held his Bible aloft and began to declaim, ‘You harlot. You whore. You will be
punished. God says that
the cowardly, the faithless, the polluted,
murderers, fornicators, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their lot shall be
in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone
… Revelations, Chapter
twenty-one, verse eight…uhm…’ Lawrence was getting a little lost in his
desperation to have the revealed truth on his side. ‘Uhm …
many live as
enemies of the cross of Christ. Their end is destruction, their god is the
belly, and they glory in their shame, with minds set on earthly things. But our
commonwealth is in heaven, and from it we await a Saviour…
Philippians…’

‘Don’t
you do that in this house!’ boomed Kate rising and going to stand right in
front of the pastor of the people. She was tiny and frail but there was no lack
of power in her determination.

‘Don’t
you bring your prejudice in here and say that it is God’s work.’

Lawrence
held the Bible up in front of him and tried to continue,’…
our
commonwealth is in heaven…’
but Kate put her hand out firmly and clutched
the holy book between them.

‘Philippians
chapter three, verse nineteen, I know. I know because it is wonderful and I
will not have you use it to justify your petty prejudices.’

Lawrence
faced her on the hearth rug like a gunfight at the OK corral.

‘I
really had no idea,’ John muttered again, looking at Eve but getting no reply.

A
battle began to rage. Inge was on her feet trying to get Kate to sit down.

‘Kate
didn’t do anything to your son except try help him.’

‘Help
him? My son is dead.’

‘Maybe
he couldn’t fight you and your quotes at the same time.

‘I
cannot change God’s word,’ screamed Lawrence. ‘It’s in here.’ He banged the
Bible down on the mantelpiece so hard that the little clock bounced backwards.
Kate picked up the book.

‘Is it?
Is it? Where? Let me tell you. There are nine biblical citations which are
usually trotted out about homosexuals. Four of them actually just forbid
prostitution by both men and women. Two others are part of the Holiness code
and I will give you those. Leviticus…’

Leviticus.
Eve remembered Leviticus. Lawrence had mentioned him at church.

‘…
does explicitly ban homosexual acts but he also prohibits the eating of raw
meat, planting two different seeds in the same field, wearing garments with two
different kinds of yarn, having tattoos, committing adultery and sexual
intercourse during women’s periods. Cracking rules, aren’t they? Do you keep to
all of them?’ Kate eyed Lawrence’s clothes. He was wearing chinos and a
sweater. ‘Surely that’s not cotton and wool you’re wearing at the same time,
Pastor Lawrence?’

Lawrence
was faltering. ‘I will not argue the Bible with you. You only have to look at
Sodom and Gomorrah to—’

Kate
threw open the Bible. ‘Oh yes, Sodom and Gomorrah —that old chestnut. Let’s see
… Genesis …’ She flicked to the beginning of Lawrence’s Bible. ‘Two
strangers come to Sodom to spend the night and a crowd of men gather outside
Lot’s house and shout, “Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them
out to us that we may know them.” Know them? What does that mean, Lawrence?’
Lawrence started to reply but Kate didn’t give him a minute. ‘No, let me help
you. The Hebrew word “to know” is yàdhá. It can mean to have sex. In fact the
word appears in the Bible nine hundred and forty-three times but only ten times
does it refer to shagging and always heterosexual shagging, except possibly
this time.’ She looked straight up at Lawrence with anger burning through her. ‘So,
let me get this clear. This would be the one time in the whole Bible the word
gets used in this way?’

‘Why
are you doing this?’ faltered Lawrence.

‘Because
he is my God too and I absolutely believe that he would not, will not, turn me
away. I will not let you make him something he is not,’ replied Kate quietly.
There was a slight pause and then Kate cranked up the heat again. ‘Look at it, Lawrence,
don’t you think it’s bizarre about Sodom and Gomorrah? The Old Testament has a
perfectly good word for homosexual sex — shákhabh — but it isn’t used in the
story.’ Kate turned to the rest of the group as a sort of aside. ‘Shákhabh also
refers to bestiality, which, of course, we know is so close to the same thing.
So we are supposed to believe that this one time the word “to know” means men
wanting to have sex with complete strangers, is that right? How about if it
just meant “get acquainted with”? You know … get to know? Couldn’t it? I
think it’s possible.’

‘I don’t
have to listen to this,’ stammered Lawrence.

‘Kate,
please,’ pleaded Inge.

‘No. He
came in here damning us and I won’t have it. Sodom and Gomorrah — it’s a famous
story so you would think everyone in the Bible would agree about it. All those
bum boys killed by God. It’s a great bit of gossip, except Luke says it’s about
inhospitality, Ezekiel says it’s about failure to take care of the poor and St
Paul, who hated poofs, never mentions it at all. Let me tell you the real sin
of Sodom, Pastor Hansen. For thousands of years in the Christian West
homosexuals have been the victims of inhospitable treatment. They have been
condemned by the Church, been victims of persecution, torture and even death.
Because no one understood the real crime of Sodom and Gomorrah — shunning
those who are strange to you — that crime has been repeated every day to gay
people across the world. If Sodom and Gomorrah is about gay people, then Jonah
and the Whale is a treatise on fishing.’

Lawrence
was wide-eyed by now. It was an impressive performance by Kate, and Eve could
see that even in his grief Lawrence was having to think.

‘I didn’t
come here to be bullied,’ he managed.

‘And I
don’t want to bully you. I just don’t have any more time to be patient with
this nonsense,’ replied Kate, surprisingly gently.

Inge
tried to intervene. ‘Kate, that’s enough.’ But Kate turned on her.

‘You
have no idea what is enough, Inge. I don’t want you to live like this when I am
gone. I am trying to help you too.’

John
murmured, ‘Like you helped Patrick?’ It was a mistake because Kate started up
again.

‘Yes,
like I tried to help Patrick. John, you’re a bit of a God botherer..

John
blushed and clearly wished he had never opened his mouth to be drawn in to the
fracas. ‘Well, I. .

Kate
held open the Bible. ‘What happens to Lot after Sodom is destroyed?’

‘Well…
uhm…’

‘Lot
runs away with his wife and daughters while all that brimstone and fire rains
down on Sodom. Then what?’

‘His
wife looks back and gets turned to a pillar of salt,’ Eve said, pleased that
she had remembered something.

Kate
waved her hand at Eve as if to accept the contribution. ‘Then what?’ she persisted.
‘It’s been a bad day for Lot. His city’s been destroyed, his wife is a pillar
of salt, he’s got two daughters, God’s in a horrible mood… what happens,
John?’

‘I don’t
remember,’ John replied.

‘Lawrence?’

‘It isn’t
the point of the story. I didn’t come here to debate—’ Kate was not to be
diverted. ‘I’ll tell you. Lot and his daughters go up in the mountains where
he gets drunk and then what does he do? Lawrence?’

‘He
sleeps with his daughters,’ faltered Lawrence.

Sleeps
with his daughters! Eve thought. It was all mind-boggling. Like trying to catch
up late in the day with a rather racy television soap.

‘Lot
sleeps with his daughters,’ agreed Kate. ‘But, and here’s the nice part, he’s
so drunk that it’s not his fault.
“The first-born went in, and lay with her
father; he did not know when she lay down or when she arose.”
Not his fault
but still not very nice, is it? And what does God do? More fire and brimstone?
No, there isn’t even a rumble of thunder—’

John
stood up. ‘I don’t think we should stay. I think it’s enough.’

Kate
grabbed him by the arm and held him tight. ‘It is not enough. Is that the
lesson? Is that what parents do?’

Lawrence
shook his head. ‘I’m sure your parents—’

‘My
parents haven’t spoken to me for twenty years. I might as well be dead to them,
but a young boy, your son, is actually dead, and it didn’t have to happen. I
will not stand by and let Inge take the blame, or worse, let it happen to
someone else because that is supposedly the message from God. How can it be?
Inge and I are a couple. We are an offence and what will happen to us? Are we
going to be visited by divine wrath because we love each other? Are there going
to be earthquakes in Edenford?

Floods,
famines, outbreaks of pestilence? Or are we too refined for that? Maybe just a
bad case of rose blight. Actually, maybe we’ll be all right. The Holiness code
only condemns male homosexuals not female. Women are only condemned to death
if they have sex with an animal and we haven’t done that for ages.’

Lawrence
stared at her with desperation in his eyes. ‘St Paul said—’

‘Oh, St
Paul didn’t want anyone to have a good time. All those bloody letters he wrote.
Did you ever ask yourself why no one ever wrote back?’

‘Jesus
said that we are commanded—’ Lawrence tried again but Kate wouldn’t let him.

‘Jesus
said nothing about it. He never mentioned gays the whole time he was here. We
are commanded to love, that’s all. It is an absolute divine command to live a
life of love.’

Tears
began to flow down Lawrence’s face. ‘I loved my son. I was doing what was
right…’

Inge
reached out and touched Lawrence on the arm. ‘I don’t doubt it. Maybe Patrick
would have grown out of it. It’s possible. Maybe he would have just settled his
feelings. Maybe if he had thought everyone was positive for him. That’s all
Kate. .

Lawrence
wiped his tears. ‘She told him to be gay.’

Now
Kate had had enough. ‘No, I didn’t. I just tried to let him talk. To be
himself. I loved your son. I gave him some of the last hours of my life as a
present. I simply told him to live. Nobody was trying to get him to be a killer
or a dope fiend. Nobody was trying to get him to be anything except himself.’

Things
seemed to have calmed down when Lawrence suddenly snatched his Bible from
Kate. ‘I will not be seduced by you. I will not listen to you. I know what you’re
doing. You’re trying to blame me. Well, you can’t. I did what was right. I did
what I had to do and your.., lover… she killed my boy. I will see this put
right. I will see that it never happens again.’

Lawrence
was screaming now and Kate was fighting right back in his face.

‘What’s
the worst that might have happened to your boy?’ she yelled.

‘You
would have made him gay.’

‘He
would have lived. He would have…’ At the height of the battle, Kate’s
onslaught was spoiled by the slightest choking sound. A noise caught in her
throat and she reached to clutch the mantelpiece but missed and grabbed
Lawrence’s arm instead. He had no choice but to help her as she slowly sank to
the ground.

‘Oh
God, oh God…’ Inge leapt across the room to hold Kate’s head. ‘Kate, Katie,
Katie…’ But there was no reply. Kate lay insensible on the floor. A tiny,
pale figure with no fight in her whatsoever. For once John was useful.

‘I’ll
get an ambulance,’ he said.

Eve ran
and got a cold cloth while they waited. It wasn’t long before the siren wailed
outside.

Lawrence
had sunk down, motionless, into the armchair clutching his Bible. John patted
his arm. ‘I’ll take you home,’ he said, and then turned to Eve. ‘I’m so sorry,
I had no idea.’

John
led Lawrence from the room and there was silence. Inge was crying and Kate was
just lying there.

Inge
was rocking her and repeating over and over again, ‘Kate, you shouldn’t have,
you shouldn’t have.’

Inge
said she would call Eve and took Kate to the hospital on her own. They departed
and left Eve bewildered and slightly breathless. Eve watched the ambulance
leave and wondered if there was any mention of lesbians in the Bible. She didn’t
think so but then there wasn’t much about women generally, apart from getting the
blame for a few things. She thought about William and Pe Pe and how much humans
all revere sperm and maybe that was something to do with it. Lesbians didn’t
have sperm so they didn’t really count. The real miracle was that, despite
everything, all the obstacles, Kate and Inge were happy together.

Eve ran,
she ran back to her house and up the stairs to Tom’s room. She didn’t even
knock. She burst in and found him sitting on his bed staring out of the window.
He was crying and she ran to him and held him in her arms. Tom sobbed and
sobbed. He cried for Patrick, he cried for the woods and the baby ducks and he
cried because he was in his mother’s arms and it was okay. When at last he
calmed he stayed where he was, nestled in Eve’s embrace. Eve sat in her own
thoughts until at last she said, ‘Tom, do you know about Sodom and Gomorrah? Do
you know what happened afterwards?’