Fogbound: A Lin Hanna Mystery (48 page)

“ All his signs
have shown improvement today,” the nurse was happy to report. “The doctor is
hopeful that he might wake up tonight or tomorrow.
 
He wanted him to have another brain scan
to see what’s going on.”

“That’s great
news,” Lin said. “Could you please make a note to call us when he is awake? The
park ranger handling this case wants to be alerted also.”

Lin and Neal
left both their cell numbers and also Mark Scott’s number at the desk with
assurances that they would be called as soon as Luke was awake—no matter
what the hour.

“I guess we can
go home now,” Lin remarked. “Nothing else to do here and it feels good to say
goodbye to this place.”
 
It was
already early afternoon—so much for an early discharge.
 
Hospitals were famous for being slow,
and besides, they’d had several things to accomplish before they left.

They rode home
in companionable silence, neither of them wanting to bring up the discussion
they both knew that they should have, and sooner rather than later.
 
When they arrived at the house, Lin insisted
that she could manage getting in on her own with the crutches.

“I really need
a shower and shampoo,” she said as they arrived in the kitchen. “Those hospital
sponge baths just aren’t good enough.”
 
Neal helped her to get upstairs.
 

“I’ll help you,”
he offered with a smile.
 
Lin was
well aware of past times when they’d showered together or he had helped her to
bathe.
 
In spite of the yearning she
felt at that moment, she declined his offer. “I can manage,” she insisted.
“Just put that plastic chair in the shower and hand me my crutches.
 
I’ve done this before—I’ll call if
I need you,” She didn’t want to sound as if she didn’t want him around, but she
knew full well what would happen if he helped her to bathe, and she didn’t want
the talk they really needed to have to be clouded by sexual desire.
  
Neal simply stood there without
saying anything as Lin began to undress.

 
She realized that this was probably the
first time she’d turned down an overture on his part.
 
She reached out and took his hand. “I
won’t be long, Neal.
 
Why don’t you
go down and see if we have any good wine, maybe some snacks?
 
I’ll call you when I’m done.
 
I’ll need help getting downstairs, I
know—I think maybe, we should have that talk after this.”
 
Neal leaned down and kissed her
gently.
 
He nodded his agreement and
then he left the room.

Lin took a
long, shower—letting the warm water wash away all the soreness and
feelings of filth she’d experienced in the pit.
 
Somehow the hospital baths hadn’t erased
all that. She really needed this bath in more ways than one.
 
When she’d finished she felt better than
she had since before Luke abducted her.
 
The warm water had eased the soreness in her body.
 
She surveyed herself in the full-length
mirror as she leaned on her crutches.
 
Her body looked like a patchwork quilt of blue, purple, and green.
 
Still, the only real soreness she felt
was in her lower back, probably the bruised kidneys the doctor had cautioned
her about.
 
She filled a cup with
water but she took only her antibiotic.
 
Neal was fixing wine for them to drink and she decided not to mix that
with her pain medication.
 
If the
wine wasn’t enough, she’d take the meds before bedtime.

Her body felt
so good that she really didn’t want to put on any clothes at all; that probably
wasn’t a good idea if she and Neal were going to talk.
 
Instead she decided to leave off the
constraints of a bra and panties, slipping into soft sweatpants and a long,
soft T- shirt instead.
 
Then she
towel dried her wavy brown hair and called for Neal to come help her
downstairs.

When he
appeared she started to hand him her crutches and grabbed onto his arm but he
tossed the crutches aside and instead picked her up bodily and carried her down
to the living room, depositing her on one end of the sofa while he went to get
their wine, cheese, and crackers.

“We might as
well enjoy these and eat up,” he grinned.
 
“The only thing I could find for dinner was some soup and stuff to make
sandwiches.
 
I suppose we could go
out later but…”

Lin nixed that
right away. “I really just want to be here with you.
 
I want us to have that talk.
 
We are alone now, but come Monday we’ll
have Ted, and soon Sue will be home—now is the best time…besides it
sounds as if it’s raining outside.

Neal had to
agree.
 
He brought an ottoman over
and propped Lin’s ankle up on a pillow.
 
Then he went to get their drinks.

They sat in
comfortable silence for a while; Lin feeling relaxed and very happy to be out
of the hospital, and Neal seemingly satisfied to have some down time as
well.
 
As he poured them a second
glass of wine, Lin decided it was time to talk.

“I think this
is the perfect time for us to talk about what happened back in the
hospital.
 
I realize that you were
upset about my getting into this situation, and I think I understand where
you’re coming from, but I really want you to share your feelings with me.”

Neal was
thoughtful for a moment.
 
Finally,
he spoke, “Actually, I’m not sure how I feel sometimes.
 
My first feeling, when I learned you
were missing, was fear—fear of losing you.
 
Lin, I’m not sure how I’d face losing
you—you mean so much to me.”
 
He moved beside her on the sofa and put his arm around her, pulling her
closer to him. “Then, after I dealt with the fear and made a plan to come back
and help find you and Sue, I have to admit I felt almost angry—you know,
this is not the first close call you’ve had since we met, and I’ve had a couple
of close calls myself since then.”
 
He seemed to be trying to find the words he wanted… “I’m not sure how to
say this, but I found myself worrying that our lives together would dissolve
into one crisis after another.
 
Of
course, that thinking only lasted a short while.
 
Then I just became determined to find
you, and I was mad at myself for being angry in the first place—but I was
angry, at least for a moment.”

Lin sat quietly
thinking about what he had said.
 
She did understand how Neal felt, but she wasn’t sure how to show him
that she did.
 
“You know, Neal, we
talked about some of this when you first proposed to me.
 
I tried to be honest with you about how
I felt—about who I am as a person…”

Neal interrupted,
“And that is the person I fell in love with, the person I still love with all
my heart.
 
I really don’t want you
to change; I guess I’m just having trouble dealing with my own fears.”

Lin realized at
that moment that she had never really talked to Neal about her first marriage
to Ben Hanna.
 
Neal had been married
before also, but that union had ended in divorce.
 
He and his first wife had married very
young and had never had children—apparently they simply grew apart.
 
The divorce hadn’t been bitter, and they’d
remained friends, although their lives had gone in different directions.

“Neal, I do
understand the kind of fear you’re talking about.
 
You know, Ben and I were married for
almost thirty years, and he was a career soldier for all of that time.
 
I remember how I felt each time he was
deployed, each time he was going into a life-threatening situation.
 
I was afraid for him and for me and for
our children.
 
Sometimes, I honestly
wished he would leave the military and get some other sort of
job—something safe that would keep him at home all the time.
 
Each time he came home safely I was
filled with joy, but I knew the next time would come.
 
Sometimes Ben and I talked about all
this, and he even offered to change careers if I wanted him to, but I came to
realize that being a soldier was a big part of who he was.
 
He loved his work and I loved him—right
up until the day I lost him, and I still love who he was and what we had
together.”
  

There were
tears in Lin’s eyes now, but she didn’t try to control her feelings. “It took
me a long time to deal with losing Ben, to finally be able to move on with my
life.
 
At first I simply threw
myself into my work and caring for my children.
 
Eventually, I reached the point where I
was ready to risk loving someone else again.
 
Then I met you.
 
I love you Neal, with all my heart, and
I don’t ever want to lose you, but I’m willing to take the risk that loving
someone always carries.
 
Worry and
fear of losing the person you love is always lurking in the background of any
such relationship, but I love who you are and I don’t want to change that.
 
I hope you can understand.”

Lin realized
that Neal was also tearful.
 
She
reached out to take his hand in hers as he spoke.
 
“I do understand, Lin.
 
Thanks for sharing that with me.
 
I hope you can deal with my
over-protective instincts—with my own fears and worries.
 
I love who you are and the kind of
person you are—one who cares about others and who will stand up for
friends and others who simply need someone on their side.
 
Sometimes I can’t believe that someone
like you would have fallen in love with me—I feel so lucky.”

“Me too,” Lin
smiled, “and now I’m starving—how ‘bout you go see what else you can find
for us to eat.
 
I’d offer to help
but someone left my crutches upstairs.”

Neal retrieved
their snack tray and the remaining wine.
 
As he headed for the kitchen he looked back over his shoulder, grinning
from ear to ear, “There was a good reason to leave the crutches
upstairs—now, at least for the moment, I have the upper hand—you
need me.”

Lin smiled back
at him, “Get going.
 
I told you I’m
hungry.
 
If you expect to ‘take
advantage of me’ in my more or less helpless state, you’ll need to feed me
first.”

***

By late
afternoon, they’d finished eating a meal of soup and sandwiches and Lin was
already thinking about bed and sleep.
 
“This is ridiculous,” she said. “I’m so off schedule—eating so
early, now feeling tired again—I don’t think I’ll ever get back to
normal.”

“I’ll make some
coffee,” Neal replied. “A little caffeine will perk you up, but you’ve had
quite an ordeal—I expect you need some time to rest and recover.”
 
He moved to the counter and ground some
fresh beans.
 
Soon the aroma of
fresh coffee permeated the kitchen.

“That smells’
divine,” Lin said. “but after we have that, I think I’d like to go up to bed
but…” she smiled at Neal as he filled their mugs, “… I don’t have to go alone.”

Neal placed
their mugs on the table and came to stand behind her chair, leaning over her
and putting his arms around her.
 
He
ran his hands across her shoulders and down across her breasts and arms, “
Ummm,” he murmured, “I’ve always been told that when a girl isn’t wearing
underwear she’s issuing an invitation.”

Lin slapped gently
at his hands and reached for her coffee.
 
“Watch it, buddy,” she teased. “Let’s at least finish our
coffee—then we’ll see.”

A short while
later, Neal lifted her up into his arms once more, carrying her upstairs and
laying her in the middle of the bed.
 
He carefully slipped her shirt over her
head and gently slipped her sweatpants down over her hips—murmuring
sympathetically as he saw her bruise painted body.
 
“Geez, Lin, you must’ve bounced and hit
every rock in that pit on your way down.”

“You haven’t seen
anything yet,” she rolled over so he could see the more extensive bruising.
“Good grief,” he exclaimed, “I don’t know how you’ve managed to sit down or
move around as well as you have.”

“Very gently
and with some good pain killers,” Lin responded. “Actually, they’re healing
rather quickly now the doctor said, and I really am not very sore—except
for my lower back, but that’s coming from bruised kidneys.
 
That’s improving also—nowhere near
as bad as the first day or so.”

She lay once
more on her back and reached to undo Neal’s belt, “If I’m going to lie here
stark naked, I’m not going to do so alone,” she smiled.

For the next
hour they lay together.
 
Their
lovemaking was careful and gentle, but filled with intense longing.
 
Finally, Lin slept—feeling warm
and safe in Neal’s arms.

***

Lin woke
suddenly.
 
It was dark. She thought
she’d heard a noise coming from downstairs.
 
Glancing at the clock, she saw that it
was nearly midnight.
 
She and Neal
had been sleeping for several hours.
 
It was raining outside and the wind was blowing—perhaps that was
the noise she’d heard—the wind blowing through the trees and dashing the
rain against the house.
 
She settled
back down, snuggling into Neal’s back, listening to his relaxed breathing.