Authors: Ginna Gray
"Oh, Max, darling. I knew you would come," she sobbed as her arms encircled him. "I knew it. I've always known you cared, and when Erin told me you were here, I knew you wouldn't let me down."
She burrowed close, clinging like a limpet, her face pressed against his chest. Stunned, for a moment Max just stood there, not responding, but as she began to weep, he hesitantly raised his arms. They hovered over her back for an instant, then, with obvious reluctance, enfolded her.
Watching, Erin felt her heart break into a million pieces. It was over. Every fragile dream, every tiny shred of hope to which she had so foolishly clung these past few days vanished like smoke in the wind.
Love shouldn't be so painful, she thought with aching sadness as she watched her sister being comforted by the man they both loved. Or so complicated. But it was. Erin's body quivered with hurt that was soul-deep and inescapable.
Somehow, it made it worse knowing he could be hers. A word, a gesture, that was all it would take, and Max would gently but firmly put Elise aside. But like every decision in life, there was a price to be paid, and this one was just too great.
It did not matter that Max would never love Elise; Erin could not deliberately hurt her twin. If she did, she would never know a moment's happiness, no matter how much she cared for Max.
It was all so hopeless and sad.
Max stroked Elise's back as she wept softly against his shirtfront, his hands gentle and soothing, if a bit awkward. Over the top of her head he gave Erin a helpless look. His eyes pleaded with her to let him end it, to let him explain, but she shook her head and silently implored him to say nothing.
With grim acceptance, Max returned to his ministration, his face set and hard as he bent over Elise.
Unable to watch the touching scene any longer, Erin looked away.
By chance, her gaze encountered Sam and halted, her eyes widening. He was staring at Elise, sobbing in Max's arms, and for the first time Erin saw real emotion in that austere face. It was pure pain.
Why, he loves her!
It was a stunning discovery. Despite all that Max had told her, she had been certain that Sam Lawford was incapable of feeling anything. She had been wrong. So very wrong. In that unguarded moment he was gazing at Elise with abject longing and despair, his harsh face twisted in torment. No, there was no mistaking that anguished look; Sam's suffering exactly mirrored her own.
Erin had thought she could not possibly feel any worse, but as she stared at those bleak, silver-gray eyes, her aching heart felt as though it were splitting in two. Dear God, it was all such a mess.
Mercifully, Erin had little time to agonize over the situation. David took charge, and after hearing the entire story, he sent Sam into town to notify the local police and the FBI.
The hours after that passed in a blur. The rest of the day and a good part of the evening were spent going over and over the whole tale from start to finish. They were questioned in great detail by men from both law enforcement agencies, who went over even the most minute detail with relentless thoroughness.
Under questioning, Floyd confessed everything—that he and Wilma had sought jobs with Global for the express purpose of smuggling diamonds. Alan Harper, it turned out, had stumbled onto their operation by accident and cut himself in for a share in return for his silence.
Since he was the only officer involved, a call was placed to the Santa Fe police department, and search warrants were issued. Within only a couple of hours enough hard evidence was discovered in Wilma's apartment to back up their story. Local and federal charges were filed against the three, and the authorities in Israel were informed of Jerry Crenshaw's part in the operation.
By the time the police were finished with them, it was late. The women rejected the suggestion that they stay over and fly home the next morning; Elise, after nearly six days of running scared, was eager to return home, and Erin wanted to avoid the inevitable confrontation with Max. Several times during the afternoon and evening Max had tried to corner her, but she had managed to avoid getting into a discussion. It was not difficult, since Elise never let him out of her sight.
They caught the red-eye to Albuquerque, all except for Sam, who volunteered to fly to Las Vegas and pick up Max's truck. He had once again donned his icy mask of indifference, but Erin knew that he was hurting and that the offer was a self-protective maneuver. She envied him the chance to escape. If there had been a hope of getting away with it, she would have volunteered to go with him.
Erin had forgotten how observant David was. She was sure she'd hidden her feelings well, but, sitting next to him on the plane, she soon discovered otherwise.
They had no sooner left the ground than he said, "Okay, spill it. What's going on?"
"Going on?" Erin looked at him, her eyes widening, in feigned innocence. "Why, nothing."
"Don't give me that. I saw the look that passed between you and Delany. So what's he doing sitting up there with Elise?" he asked, nodding toward the front of the plane.
Erin stared out the window at the black sky and tried to keep her voice steady. "She's in love with him."
"Gee, thanks. Would you believe I'd already figured that out?" he said with brotherly sarcasm. "But then, so are you. And I happen to know that the man is crazy about you. So explain."
Tears threatened. Erin swallowed hard and attempted a nonchalant shrug. "I don't want to hurt her."
"Hell, neither do I," David said impatiently. In a softer voice he added, "But I don't want to see you hurt, either."
"I can take it," Erin insisted, though her wobbling chin belied the claim.
"And you think Elise can't? For Pete's sake, Erin, you've been protecting her ever since you were both toddlers and Tommy hit her over the head with a plastic bat. It's become second nature with you, but that doesn't make it right." When Erin didn't respond, David heaved a sigh. "All right," he continued wearily. "I'll grant you that Elise is sweet and gentle, but believe me, there's a lot of strength beneath that softness."
"David, you don't understand. Elise was in love with Max long before I ever met him."
"So? Do you think that gives her squatter's rights or something? She's a grown woman. If she hadn't already learned that wanting doesn't necessarily make it so, it's time she did."
"I never should have fallen in love with him," Erin maintained stubbornly.
David's stern expression melted into tender concern. He picked up her hand and rubbed his thumb over the soft skin and fragile bones. "Honey, love happens whether you want it to or not. You can't control your feelings."
She slanted him a long look and lifted her chin. "Maybe not. But you can control your actions."
They arrived in Santa Fe in the small hours of the morning. Since Elise's apartment was still in shambles, Max insisted that they all stay at his house.
Erin was horrified, but before she could refuse, Elise had taken him up on the offer, her delight at the prospect obvious.
As the battered Continental began the climb toward Max's home, Erin could not suppress a shudder, recalling the last time she had been on that road and how close she had come to losing her life.
When Max brought the car to a halt in the drive before his home, they all climbed out. Erin waited with the others while he unlocked the door, shivering in the cold mountain air and feeling decidedly peculiar as her eyes skimmed over the sprawling, multilevel structure. Had it been just a little more than five days since she had been there? The house seemed at once strange and familiar.
They trooped inside like weary soldiers. In the entry Elise complimented Max on his home, looking around with avid interest. Erin fidgeted with her purse and pretended not to notice when he attempted to catch her eye.
"There are plenty of bedrooms," he said as he led them up the short flight of steps to the landing. "You can each have your own."
"That isn't necessary. Elise and I will share one," Erin put in quickly, determined to forestall any attempt he might make to get her alone. "We're both still too keyed up and nervous to be alone," she explained in response to Max's sharp look. In truth, she was simply too exhausted and too heartsick to deal with their problems.
❧
By the middle of the week, Max decided that he'd been as patient as he intended to be. He was going to talk to Erin alone even if he had to kidnap her to do it, he told himself as he waited in his car across the street from Elise's apartment complex. They'd been back in Santa Fe for three days, and he had not had an opportunity to say more than a half a dozen words to Erin, much less touch her. Which was what he was longing to do.
They had to get things settled between them, he told himself, shifting restlessly on the seat. They had to make plans for their future. Most of all, they had to tell Elise how they felt about each other. The longer they waited, the more difficult it was going to be. Didn't Erin see that?
Of course she did. She had to have noticed the way Elise looked at him and spoke to him. The day they had spent straightening her apartment, she barely got three feet from his side. And dammit! The only reason he'd volunteered to help was to be near Erin, to maybe steal a moment alone with her.
He had hoped to have her in his home long enough to get everything settled, but Erin had foiled that plan by insisting, almost the moment they awoke that first morning, that they return to Elise's apartment.
Drumming his fingers on the steering wheel, Max watched the driveway of the apartment complex for Elise's car. It had been repaired while they were gone and returned to Elise yesterday. He had suggested that she take the rest of the week off to rest and recuperate and visit with Erin, but she insisted on returning to work today. He had a sinking feeling that her dedication sprang from a wish to be near him.
The little blue car turned out of the driveway, and Max sat up straighter. Okay. It was about time. He watched Elise drive away, and as the car merged with the morning traffic he climbed from the Continental and strode across the street. While Elise was getting things shipshape at the office, he was going to have a talk with her sister.
❧
Erin looked around the room one last time, then snapped the lid shut on her suitcase. She carried it into the living room and set it beside the door. Straightening, she pulled a slip of paper from her pocket and double-checked her flight number and departure time, then glanced at her watch. Four hours until her flight; she had plenty of time.
Nibbling her index finger, she frowned and ticked off the items on her mental checklist. She was packed and ready, she had a plane reservation, she'd called for a taxi to be there in an hour, she'd left Elise a note. Erin cast an anguished look at the telephone sitting on the kitchen bar and bit the inside of her lip. There was only one thing left to do: she had to talk to Max.
Of course, she could write him a letter and mail it from the airport. It would be easier all the way around. Erin thought about it for only a moment before rejecting the cowardly temptation. Max deserved better than that.
Taking a shaky breath, Erin wiped her damp palms on her slacks and walked toward the bar.
Before she reached it the doorbell sounded. The ring was followed immediately by a loud knock. Erin retraced her steps and looked through the peephole. Her heart began to pound.
Bracing herself, she opened the door and forced a weak smile. "Hello, Max."
Without a word, he stepped inside and pulled the door from her nerveless grasp, shutting it with a snap. Then she was in his arms and he was kissing her, all the loving and frustration of the past three days pouring into the hungry embrace.
Erin gave herself up to it without thought of resistance. She melted against him, greedily absorbing his heat and power, her hands running over his shoulders and neck, her fingers twining in his hair. Their tongues danced and stroked in an erotic duel as their yearning bodies strained together. Erin was painfully aware that this was the last time she would ever be in Max's arms, and she clung to him with feverish desperation.
"I've missed you like hell," he said thickly when he ended the kiss. He buried his face in the side of her neck and held her so tightly that she couldn't breathe, but she didn't care. Erin pressed her lips together and squeezed her eyes shut in an agony of despair and love.
"I want you," Max said in a desire-roughened voice. "I want you so much I ache." He raised his head and looked at her, his handsome face flushed and soft with love as his hand curved around her cheek. "But first we have to talk. I promised myself that—''
He stopped, staring over her shoulder at the suitcase by the door. His gaze snapped back to her, and his blue eyes blazed with anger and accusation. "You're leaving."
"Yes," Erin admitted sadly. She stepped away from his arms, her heart crying out at the awful finality of it.
"Just like that? You were going to leave without saying a word?"
"No! No, I was just about to call and ask you to come over so I could—" she bit her lip and looked at him helplessly "—could say goodbye."
"I don't believe this." Max paced away a few steps, raking a hand through his hair, then swung back, glaring. "You planned this all along, didn't you? Here I've been thinking that you were just dreading the inevitable, that you knew we would have to explain to Elise how we felt, but that you were just putting it off. But I was wrong. You never had any intention of telling her the truth, did you?"
Miserably unhappy, Erin shook her head. "Not once I saw how much she cares for you. She's convinced that you came after her because this whole thing made you realize how much she means to you. Since we've been back she's been so bubbly and happy. You're all she talks about. I can't tell her about us, Max. I just can't. Please understand."
"Understand! How the hell do you expect me to understand? Whatever Elise feels, or thinks she feels, you can't prevent her from being hurt, because I don't care for her that way. I never will. And throwing away what we have won't change that."
"Maybe not," Erin said, her eyes glistening with moisture. "But I can't be the one to smash her dreams. She would feel so betrayed that the pain would be twice as bad. I can't do it to her, Max. I can't hurt her that way."
Erin felt torn in two. She adored her sister and wanted to see her happy, and for that reason a part of her almost wished that Max could love Elise. But another part of her wailed in agony at the very thought.
Max's face hardened. "All right, then, I'll tell her."
"If you do, I'll never forgive you, Max," Erin declared. "I swear it." Her taut voice quavered with emotion, but it was not an idle threat. It was there in the determined lift of her chin, the fierce warning blazing from her brown eyes.
Stunned, Max looked at her as though he couldn't believe his ears. "You can't mean that, Erin." His voice rang with desperate anxiety. "Dammit! We love each other!"
Erin wrapped her arms around her middle, as though bracing herself for what she was about to say. "Do we, Max?" she questioned shakily. "We've only known each other a little over a week. Maybe... maybe we just got carried away by all the tension and drama." It wasn't true, and she knew it. Just saying the words made her feel as though she were dying, bit by bit.
"I'm thirty-seven years old, Erin," Max said furiously. "A grown man, not some infatuated teenager. I damn well know what I'm feeling. I love you. And you love me. Don't you?"
Unable to meet the hard demand in his eyes, Erin walked to the window and fixed her gaze on the swaying limbs of the cottonwood tree just outside in the courtyard. "Max.. .please."
"Don't you?" he insisted.
Erin turned her head and looked at him over her shoulder. Torment darkened her eyes. The temptation to deny her feelings was strong, but she couldn't force the lie out. After a moment of taut silence her shoulders slumped. "Yes, I love you," she said dejectedly, wishing with all her soul that she didn't. "But it makes no difference."
Max flinched as though she had struck him, his face turning pale. The utter bleakness in his eyes tore at Erin's heart, and she returned her gaze to the window, though all she saw through her tears was a watery blur.
"I see," Max said stiffly behind her. "Well, I guess that's that."
Erin sensed him moving toward the door. It opened, and then there was an awful quiet. She struggled to draw air into her tortured lungs.
"Goodbye, my love," Max whispered.
The door closed, and with that soft, final click, Erin's face crumpled. Her eyes squeezed shut against the pain, sending a torrent of tears streaking down her face. They dropped from her chin like rain, and she tasted their salty wetness as they gathered in the corners of her mouth.