For Better or Worse (12 page)

“Okay.” He nodded back. He’d been a dad for only a few weeks, and he’d be a grandpa in a matter of months, and both notions seemed outrageous to him. Yet, when he looked at Kelly, his heart stirred in a way it never had before, and he knew God had given her to him. He’d walk through whatever they had to walk through. She was his wife, and the two were one flesh in the eyes of his Lord and Savior.

He looked around the kitchen. “What can I do to help?”

“Well, Sadie is already setting the table. Zoey made a salad. You can get that out of the fridge.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Zoey did?”

Kelly smiled. “Mmm-hmm.” She looked at his clothes and frowned. “But before you touch any of this food, you need to change your clothes.”

Harold grinned and kissed the tip of her nose. “I’ll be back in a sec.”

As he made his way to the bedroom, he noticed Cam in the backyard making a snowman with Brittany, Candy, and Ellie. “Where’s Zoey?”

“In her bedroom. Getting ready,” Kelly called from the kitchen.

Harold undressed and jumped into the shower.
How did a teenage girl get ready to tell her family she was pregnan
t? He needed to find something else to think about. Finishing his shower, he got out and saw Kelly’s bottle of purple lotion on the bathroom sink. He opened the cap and inhaled the soft, flowery fragrance.
Mmm
. He loved that smell.
I love it even more when it’s on her
.

Smiling, he hurried and got dressed then headed into the kitchen and busied himself with the various things Kelly asked him to do. Soon, the family, all eight of them, sat at the table.

“I’m starving, Uncle Harold. Can we eat?” Ellie asked.

Harold couldn’t get over the fact that the almost seven-year-old called him Uncle Harold. He loved the endearment and secretly wished the girls would one day want to call him Dad. It was probably a selfish wish. They’d had a dad, a really good one from everything he’d heard about Tim. He should just be thankful for the opportunity to be a father figure to them, and yet …

He pushed the thought aside. “Let me say blessing first, okay, Ellie?”

She nodded, and the family bowed their heads.

“Dear Lord, thank You for our food. Thank You for Kelly, Sadie, and Zoey preparing it.”

Sitting beside him, Zoey stiffened at the mention of her name.

He went on. “Bless this food to the nourishment of our bodies. Bless our time together as a family.”

His mind whirled as his usual prayer felt stilted and cold. His spirit stirred with feeling for this family, his family.

“God, thank You for my family, these people You’ve blessed me with. I love them, Lord.”

Zoey shifted again at his left. Kelly grabbed his hand at his right and squeezed. Emotion threatened to overwhelm him, just as it had the day of the wedding.

“I love them all, sweet Lord. Amen.”

“Amen,” the family echoed, and Harold looked at Kelly. Her eyes brimmed with the hint of tears, and Harold couldn’t help but smile at his sweet, sensitive wife. She’d cried more in the last month then she had in the year he’d known her, but he would help see her through. If she would let him.

Once they’d almost finished their meal of salad and Kelly’s famous homemade lasagna, Kelly clasped her hands together. “Well, family, we have an announcement to make.”

“You’re pregnant!” Sadie exclaimed, looking from Kelly to Harold.

Harold burst out laughing. “No!” The idea was ludicrous. He couldn’t even begin to imagine being a dad of teen girls, a grandpa, and a dad to a newborn all at the same time. He smacked his hand against the table and looked at Kelly. “Could you imagine?” He pointed from himself to her. “Me and you having a baby.”

“Harold!” Kelly squealed. “I’m not sure how to take what you’re implying. Are you saying I’m old?”

Harold frowned. His ire rose, as did his voice. “How could that possibly be about me saying you’re old? Do you think we need a baby right now?”

Her face reddened. “No. I don’t think we need a baby right now, but I don’t like you implying I’m getting old, especially when …”

Tears welled in her eyes. Harold rolled his eyes. The waterworks. At that moment, he found himself sick of the waterworks. He knew he was being a jerk, but suddenly he didn’t want to comfort his wife.

“I’m sorry,” Sadie said. “I didn’t mean—”

“It’s not your fault,” Zoey interrupted. “They’re freaking out because it’s my fault. I’m the one who’s pregnant.”

Kelly laid her head down on her desk. It had been a long evening at her house last night, with Sadie zipping Zoey off to another room, and she and Harold answering all of Brittany’s and Candy’s questions. Then there was a lot of silence. Stunned silence was the only thing she knew to call it.

The day at school had been equally trying. A fight broke out in the hall in front of her room. Kelly had never been more thankful to have a classroom beside the oversized male science teacher. Her computer quit working twice during her PowerPoint presentation and an array of other “little” things kept going wrong. Now, she rested her head on the paper she needed to sign to allow Zoey to be a homebound student for the rest of the year.

This wasn’t what Kelly wanted for her daughter. Zoey would miss prom and basketball games and the senior trip. She didn’t even want to walk at graduation.

A light knock sounded against the frame of her classroom door. She lifted her head and saw Cam walking toward her.

“Don’t you look a sight?” He thumped her forehead with his middle finger.

“Ouch.” She pushed his hand away and scowled at him. “What are you doing here?”

“Come to talk to you.”

She leaned back in her chair. “Didn’t we all do enough talking to last us a lifetime last night?”

Cam sat on the top of one of her student desks, clasping his hands in his lap. “Sadie’s worried for Zoey.”

“Me, too.”

“We prayed over her a long time last night. Sadie mentioned she saw a bit of a change in her when she talked to her. For the good.”

“I hope Sadie’s right. Zoey needs God now more than ever.”

“So do you.”

Kelly sat up in her chair. She leaned over, placing her elbows across her desk. “I know. Clinging to Him is the only way we’ll get through this.”

“And Harold will help.”

Kelly didn’t respond. She reached for her earring, fiddling the coarse prongs between her fingertips, she twisted it forward and then back.

“I knew it.” Cam smacked his hands together.

Kelly frowned. “What?”

“I wasn’t sure if you were struggling with God or with Harold, but I knew it was one of them.” “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means you’ve got to let your guard down. I could tell last night you were stiff as a two-by-four. That explains why you two got so mad over Sadie’s question.”

Kelly shook her head. “Oh, I hope we didn’t hurt Sadie’s feelings. It wasn’t about—”

“She’s fine, but you’re not. You and Harold can help each other through this.”

Kelly turned away from her brother. How could she explain the guilt she felt every time she looked at Harold? He’d become the “Coyle women chauffeur” man. The only perk he received from the situation was having one of them share his name. She loved Harold, or at least she thought she did, but wouldn’t true love keep the one they love away from heartache and trauma?

She’d thrown him into a den of lionesses.

“Why are you pushing Harold away?”

Kelly faced her brother, spreading her arms wide. “Don’t you see how selfish I am? Zoey is due at the beginning of July. That’s six months after our wedding. I found out she was pregnant at our reception. I had to fight through the worry every day of my honeymoon.”

“That’s why you should lean on your husband.”

“No.” Kelly shook her head. “Harold didn’t sign up to be a husband, a father to three girls, and now a grandpa. He’d been a bachelor all his life, no siblings even. Don’t you think my brood is a bit overwhelming for him? Why would he even want to be a part of it? I fell in love with him and didn’t have the strength to let him live a peaceful life.” She fell back into her chair. “I’m selfish.”

Saying the words aloud heightened her despair. She’d had hinting moments before their wedding that she shouldn’t force Harold into her drama, but he’d always been so kind, telling her how much he loved her and the girls.

“Big sister, I think you’re nuts.”

“What?” Kelly glared up at Cam.

“So, it’s all your fault that Harold is forced to live in a house with four women. After all, he didn’t know you had three girls the day he showed up at your house to fix your heater.”

“Well, of course he knew—”

“And it wasn’t him who asked you out on a date.”

“He asked me, but—”

“And I suppose you were the one who asked him to marry you—I mean, as I remember we were at your house and he brought out a birthday cake and—”

“Cam, I know all that. But he didn’t ask to be a grandpa.”

Cam raised his eyebrows. “That’s right, but you asked to be a grandma to your seventeen-year-old daughter’s child.”

“Cam—”

“No, you listen. Kelly, you
are
being selfish.”

Kelly’s heart dropped at his words. She knew they were true, but that didn’t make her feel any better.

Cam continued, “But not because you married him. It’s because you aren’t trusting him now.”

Kelly grew defensive. “I trust Harold. I can’t believe you would say that.”

“Do you, Kelly? If you trusted him, you’d give him some of the burden.”

“But they’re not his kids, Cam. It’s not fair—”

“I can’t believe you would say that. To me, especially.”

Kelly stepped out of her own spiraling gyro of misery and looked at her brother. Cam would never be able to have biological children. Ellie would be his only child, and she was adopted, unless he and Sadie chose to adopt more. She knew her brother loved Ellie more than his own life, but Cam had chosen to adopt Ellie.

Just as Harold chose to marry me with three girls attached
.

She shook her head. That’s where her thinking was slanted. He didn’t choose to marry her with three girls attached. He chose to be their father. He loved them. She knew he loved them. How could she have been such an idiot, so full of pride? She’d held the man she loved, who loved her, at arm’s length since their wedding day.

“Cam, you’re right. And I’m sorry.”

A smile bowed Cam’s lips. “Wow, that admission was rather quick.”

Kelly shook her head at his sudden silliness. “Will you do me a favor?” “Sure.”

“Can the girls stay with you and Sadie this Friday? Harold and I need some time alone. I’ve got some apologizing to do.”

Harold wiped the sweat from his brow. It was the end of January and Delaware was experiencing record cold temperatures, but he spent most of his days swiping off sweat. It seemed to be some kind of central air trend in his area that the units were shutting down. He, Rudy, and Walt had put in long hours, day after day, and yet the calls wouldn’t stop coming.

It didn’t matter that he didn’t have time to go home. Life was easier this way. At home, Zoey clung to Kelly, Brittany had reverted into some kind of shell, and Candy was full of questions and concerns. And for some reason, she wanted to voice all of them to Harold. He thought of the conversation they’d had the night before.

“Will Zoey still live with us when she has the baby?” Candy asked as she sat next to Harold on the couch and leaned against his arm.

“Of course,” Harold answered as he put his arm around the girl who was content to allow him to be a parental figure.

“Will the baby live here?”

Harold had always assumed the child would live with them. It would be hard; definitely more than he’d ever anticipated before marrying Kelly, but he assumed they’d take care of the child. “Well, yes.”

“Will I get to hold the baby?” Her voice took on an excited lilt.

“Sure.”

“And change her and feed her and—”

“I’d say you’ll get to do plenty of that.”

Candy’s gaze dropped, and her tone changed. “The baby won’t have a daddy. Zoey said she can’t find her boyfriend.”

Harold swallowed anew at the remembrance of the change in the discussion. “That’s true, but I’ll help with the baby, too.”

“It’s not the same.”

Harold shook his head. The memory of the words tore his heart even now. He thought of the girls and how they’d been without their dad, Tim, for nearly four years. Four years was a long time, and they’d been very close to their dad.

He knew he probably shouldn’t, but part of him, if he were honest, a big part of him, was jealous that he “wasn’t the same” as having Tim in their lives. He could never take their father’s place.

And yet he wanted to.

Having finally finished the last central air unit of the day, Harold dropped the last few tools into his toolbox. God,
I shouldn’t be jealous of Tim. And I haven’t been until just recently. Why, God? Why now?

He knew the answer. Kelly wasn’t the same since Zoey had told her about the pregnancy. He knew she wouldn’t be. Wouldn’t expect her to even pretend to be. What mother was happy when her seventeen-year-old daughter told her that she was pregnant? He had zero experience with babies, but he wasn’t so dumb as to not understand that babies changed everything.