For Her Son's Sake (14 page)

But now she knew that love couldn’t banish fear. That was something she wouldn’t have believed. She stayed on the couch counting her fears and trying to own them the way she had when she’d found herself widowed and pregnant.

This was worse because she knew that she had been pretending to be okay when in reality she’d never been. She’d never really loved Helio the way she loved Kell because she’d been able get over Helio eventually. And a big part of her knew that she’d never be able to get over Kell in the same way.

She had no idea what she was going to do next, but if she’d learned anything it was that life went on whether she had plans or not.

Fourteen

K
ell sat in the boardroom waiting for his cousins and their fiancées to show up. He was trying hard to pretend that it was just another day at work but last night had been a hard one and he hadn’t gotten any sleep. He’d realized last night at about three a.m. that he was a total idiot and he should have just admitted to loving Emma. That would have been the solution.

For a man who was known for always winning, how had he allowed himself to be defeated not by Emma or by love but by himself? He wanted the meeting to start so he could officially give her a job he knew she’d like and then talk to her. Figure out a way to win her back into his life.

He honestly believed it wouldn’t be that hard. Hell, he was more than likely kidding himself with that. But when he got out of bed this morning, sure he was very tired and frustrated about last night, but he was also hopeful that he could have the things he’d always wanted if he just trusted himself enough to reach out and take them.

“We’ve got problems,” Dec said, walking into the boardroom and tossing a piece of paper on the table.

“Good morning to you, too,” Kell said.

“It’s not good. Read that and then tell me if you don’t agree,” Dec said.

Kell pulled the paper to him and read the news update from Gamesutra, an industry website that sent out daily updates. He skimmed the story, trying to see what had Dec so tense this morning, and then saw their names listed next to the Japanese investors they’d been talking to.

“Dammit. Who leaked this?” Kell asked. This was going to make them look weak to other companies who might think the merger had taken up more resources than it actually had. And it also made it harder for Kell to argue for what he wanted now that the entire gaming world knew what was going on.

“I have no idea. Allan and I were the only ones you talked about this with, right?” Dec asked.

Kell froze. He hadn’t discussed the details but he had mentioned it to Emma. But when would she have had time to leak the information? He had to talk to her and make sure that she hadn’t.

“One more person knew,” Kell admitted.

“Who?” Dec demanded. “This completely undermines the work I’ve been putting together to take back to the investors. I mean, we look like we don’t know what we are doing.”

“I know,” Kell said. “I’ll be right back.”

He walked out of the boardroom and down the hall to his office. He dialed Emma’s number and she picked it up on speaker on the third ring.

“Hello, Kell.”

“Emma, we need to talk before the meeting,” he said. “When will you be here?”

“About ten minutes. I’m in the parking garage,” she said. “I was hoping to catch you early.”

“Good. Come up to my office as soon as you get into the building,” he said.

“I will,” she said.

He turned on his computer and starting searching for the rumors on the internet to see if he could find where they’d come from. But there was only a link to the Gamesutra article and one more vague article from another virtual gamer’s blog. Kell wanted to wait before he jumped to conclusions but he felt as if this was all the evidence he needed that he’d made the right choice last night when he’d left Emma. She’d thrown him off his game.

He hadn’t even read any industry emails this morning; instead he’d been moping around like some idiot in love. Thinking of ways to win her back. But now it seemed as though letting her go was the best decision he could ever have made.

He wondered again at fate or whatever it was out there that seemed to have it in for him. Was he doomed to never have a loving family of his own, aside from his cousins? His father was taken before he was old enough to know him and his mom had left and never looked back. Maybe he should just give up, considering what life always put in front of him.

He got an instant message from his assistant informing him that Emma was here and quickly messaged her back to let her in.

A moment later the door opened and Emma walked into his office. She had her large Louis Vuitton bag and her hair was pulled back in a high ponytail. She wore another tailored Chanel dress. She looked tired but smiled at him and for a minute he could only stare at her.

She was so pretty. God, it had been too long since he’d held her in his arms.

“You wanted to see me?”

“Yes, please come in and sit down. I want to show you something and then I have a few questions for you.”

“Of course,” she said. “When you’re done I’d like to talk to you about last night.”

He frowned and shook his head. “Not at the office.”

“Okay. That’s fine,” she said, sitting down and putting her bag on the floor next to her. She crossed her legs at the ankles and looked over at him.

“Read this,” he said, shoving the printout Dec had given him toward her.

She took it and he settled back in his chair to watch her reactions. He saw her slowly reading the article, watched her eyes move. And then her brow furrowed and she looked up at him.

“You think I leaked this?” she immediately asked him when she was finished.

“Did you?” he asked.

“Really? That’s the kind of person you think I am?” she asked. “I can’t believe this.”

“Neither can I. But aside from Allan and Dec, you’re the only one who knew I’d been holding discussions with them,” Kell said.

She shook her head. “I’ve never done anything under the table or dirty in any of our negotiations even when it would have served me well to do so. You know that,” she said. “That you would even think I’d do this shows me exactly the kind of man you are.”

“Don’t get all high and mighty. Someone had to leak it,” Kell said, mad at himself and at her. Mad that instead of saying the things he wanted to say to her he was once again at odds with her.

* * *

Emma knew that he had every right to suspect her and if he’d asked her this question four weeks ago she wouldn’t have a single problem with it, but he was asking her now after she’d invited him into her bed, into her body and into her heart. Granted, she hadn’t been brave enough to tell him he was in her heart, but he still should have known better.

“Someone did have to leak this information,” she said tightly, as she felt a tinge of disappointment and real anger roiling through her stomach, making her feel as if she might throw up.

But then being stupid about a man was enough to fill any woman with regrets. And should-have-dones. But this felt worse, and the pain of watching him leave last night was nothing compared to this. This was betrayal of her most intimate self.

“Was it you?”

“No, Kell. I didn’t leak any type of information about a potential investment from a Japanese firm. Aside from the fact that I don’t know anything except that you talked to them, it’s in my best interest to keep Playtone-Infinity Games on its strongest footing. I might have let you slip past my guard when you took over Infinity but I’m usually very astute when it comes to business.”

He nodded. “Then who did it?”

“I don’t know. I’m not in a position with any real power, remember? That’s exactly how you wanted it. And you’ve got your wish.”

She stood up and walked over to him, leaning forward and bracing her hands on his desk. “You might want to look inside your own ranks. Because as you pointed out, Allan and Dec knew and they both have staff members who report to them.”

Kell leaned back.

“I will check with them both. But you were the logical choice.”

“No, I wasn’t,” she said. “I’m a woman you’ve known for a long time in the business world and when has there ever been a hint of anything like this about me?”

“I haven’t paid that close attention—”

“Liar. Not only that, you
know
me. We were lovers, Kell. Don’t you know I wouldn’t betray you?”

“Do I?”

She shook her head. “You know, last night I thought I saw something in you. Something that was broken that could be mended. That you were simply afraid to love someone because no one had ever really loved you before.”

“Thanks for that,” Kell said sarcastically.

“Don’t thank me. Because this morning I realized that you aren’t bent at all, you are completely broken, and there isn’t any amount of care or love or sense of family that I can provide that can fix you.”

“I don’t recall asking you to fix me,” he said.

“But you did when you sat on the floor and played video games with my son and when you let the receptionist at the clinic call us a family,” she said. “You wanted it, or at least I thought you did. I guess you were playing one more game.”

“Not at all. I don’t know why you’re acting like I’ve injured you. Questioning you about the leak was logical,” he said again.

The fact that he still didn’t understand why she was upset was all she needed to hear. “Don’t say anything else. I get it. I didn’t betray you. I never would. Even if somehow you figure out a way to fire me after today’s meeting I’d still never do that.”

“Why not?” he asked. “Won’t you want revenge on me?”

She shook her head. If she need further proof that he could never see the world the way she did then she had it. “To what end? Should I raise Sammy to hate you and teach him everything I know about games and game-making so that one day he can go against you and his cousins and try to bring you all down?”

Kell didn’t say anything but just looked up at her with that steady silver gaze. “I wouldn’t blame him if he did that.”

“I wouldn’t either. I’d blame myself for being so shallow and weak that I couldn’t see that there was more to life than being stuck in the past and always seeing the worst in every person.”

She saw that her words had hit him hard. It was nothing more than she expected. He acted as if he was the big bad beast but underneath it all she’d seen that he wasn’t. “Do you need anything else from me?”

He shook his head. She picked up her bag and turned and walked out of his office. She was shaking, and an inch away from letting her emotions get the better of her, but she wouldn’t do that until she was home alone. She’d come here today ready to make a new start. To take on whatever role he’d decided on for her at Playtone-Infinity and make it work. Because she loved him.

And he didn’t love her. Had never felt anything close to love. She supposed it was just sex to him. And she wished she’d been big enough to realize that sex was all it was. But she had to put on her damned rose-colored glasses and see love where none existed.

She tightened her grip on her bag as she entered the boardroom and put on her business smile as she saw Dec standing there.

“You’re early for the meeting,” he said.

Her future brother-in-law was an okay guy. He’d made some mistakes and he’d hurt her sister badly but he’d admitted it and had been willing to change. Something that Kell could never do. He’d have to admit he didn’t know everything. He’d have to admit he’d been wrong when he’d spent so much time focused on revenge. He’d have to admit she meant something to him and he’d never be able to do that.

“Yes,” she said.

* * *

Emma left the meeting mid-way through so the board could discuss her future. The board consisted of Kell, Allan, Dec and her sisters. But everyone agreed that Jessi and Cari couldn’t be objective about Emma’s future, which had led to Jessi giving them all a dirty look and warning Allan he better do what was right.

Even before the meeting started, Kell had already tracked down the leak to someone on Allan’s staff who’d been disgruntled about the original merger with Infinity Games. Kell knew immediately that he needed to apologize to Emma but she wouldn’t meet his eyes during the discussion of her new role and her body language had made it clear she wasn’t going to stay behind and talk to him.

He wanted to follow her out of the boardroom but he had to have a discussion with his cousins.

“We all know Emma’s ideas are solid,” Dec said. “I’m in favor of making her the head of the new educational division, now that we’ve decided to make it a for-profit enterprise.”

“I agree,” Allan said. “She’s smart and has proven she can lead a division and until we started our maneuvering she was doing well leading Infinity. We have the headcount for an executive. I can go over the financials one more time just to make sure we’re still solid, but I don’t think it will be a problem.”

“Good. I’ll make the official offer to her as soon as I hear back from you. Today would be best,” Kell said. He had a feeling that Emma was going to run out of his life and he was never going to be able to get her back.

“Dec, it was a member of Allan’s staff who leaked information about our visit from the Japanese. He’s already been terminated and escorted off the property. That’s why I was late to the meeting,” Kell said.

“I’m glad we found the leak,” Dec said. “And I know we’ve sort of discussed this but I don’t think we should be taking on investors at this time. Their offer was flattering but I want a chance to keep this a family-run games company. There aren’t many of them left.”

“Me, too,” Allan said. “We have the next generation to think of, wouldn’t you agree?”

Kell suspected his cousins knew he’d been dating Emma. There was no other way to construe the time he’d spent at her house and he knew Sammy talked to little DJ when they were together. “I agree.”

“You owe me twenty bucks,” Dec said to Allan.

“Why?”

“I told him you and Emma were getting together,” Dec said.

“What? Why would you think that?”

“Because you’ve been having dinner at her house. Sammy’s sweet but he’s a little gossip when bribed with chocolate,” Dec said.

“Well, you’re wrong. We tried it but it didn’t work out.”

“How did that happen?” Allan asked. “She’s so much nicer than Jessi, and those Chandler girls are easy to love.”

“They are,” Dec said. “What happened?”

“I’m not,” Kell said.

“Not what?”

“Easy to love,” Kell said. He wasn’t going to discuss this any further. He started gathering his iPad and his notes from the meeting and stood up.

“Wait a minute,” Allan said. “What do you mean?”

Kell shook his head. “I’m not talking about it.”

“Too bad. Tell us what happened?”