For the Love of His Life (33 page)

She looked away from him to hide her sudden tears. “Oh? That’s why you left me all alone with your predatory friend? So you could snort coke and party for the rest of the night? I’m so important to you that you forgot all about me?”

He heard the sob her words ended on, and it broke his heart. It was all he could do to stay in one place. He was afraid if he moved to touch her, she would run and he might never get a chance to explain.

He took a deep breath. “Cocaine is a very jealous mistress. She was my first real love and so dependable to get me through the emptiness of my days and nights without noticing what I was missing. When I was high, I didn’t care that no one knew the real me. I didn’t even care about who I really was, or that I was surrounded by fake people who believed that using others is the sum total of a relationship. I was the top dog and figured I wasn’t getting used as much as I was the user…or so I thought. I was so wrong…so empty. I had no idea anything was wrong until Jared sent me up here.”

Veronica turned to look at him, her eyes still glistening with unshed tears, her breathing just barely under her control again.

“I met a beautiful, Nordic goddess who I expected to bed and discard, since that was the extent of my interactions with women. Instead she laughed at my clumsy attempt to seduce her. I figured I just wasn’t as smooth without my dependable drugs to lend me their charm. But the mean old landlady wouldn’t let me bring my stuff onto her property. No one had ever told me before that there were limits to what I could or couldn’t do. To get along, I did what I had learned to do as a kid—I attempted to make some outward changes to blend into my new surroundings. I figured I’d go back to my old ways as soon as I could and get back to
normal
when I left. I never expected the changes to go so deep into me, or to make me realize that I hadn’t ever been
normal
before. I had been living an empty, fucked-up life surrounded by users who consume people like candy, then spit out the useless husks and moved onto the next up-and-comer without a backward glance.”

He stopped and took another deep breath. She still watched him intently.

His lips curled upward slightly “I saw what you did to Danny. He showed up at my place the next afternoon and said some bitch was out of control and kneed him in the face, giving him a bloody nose and a black eye. I knew it had to have been you. I was feeling so sick I was afraid I was going to die…yet I was even more afraid I would live and have to continue feeling the intense physical pain from over-doing drugs and drinking, as well as the agony in my soul from knowing how I’d treated you. If I’d been able, I’d have hurt him for what he tried to do to you. Instead, I told him that if he ever came near me again I’d have him arrested for being a drug dealer. He laughed and said he’d sue me for false arrest and ruin me. But he left.”

“You spent the night at Kelly’s.” It wasn’t a question as much as an accusation, and Veronica watched him flinch.

“Yes. I’m just lucky she showed up when she did. The party I was at was one where orgies were usually the way the night would end. Things were moving that way when she got there. I probably wouldn’t have been able to participate, since I was so incapacitated that even my face was frozen. Between the purity of the blow and the mass quantity of alcohol I’d consumed, none of my body was under my control. I wouldn’t have even remembered my own name except for people kept shouting it at me when they offered me more lines and booze to celebrate the Oscar that I’d forgotten I’d won.”

He sighed. “In that state, my foggy brain figured she was coming on to me, so I agreed to go home with her. Luckily her two huge body guards were able to half-carry me out of the place, because I would never have been able to walk out of there on my own. I passed out in the limo, then again in her house after they threw me into a guest bed and she locked the door behind her as she left. When I woke up, I realized that I was in someone else’s house. I was fully-clothed and I had to find the bathroom so I could puke. I thought even my inner organs were going to come up. I was so weak I couldn’t stand up. Kelly knocked on the door and brought me some herbal tea and crackers, along with my phone, which Joey had kept in his pocket all night so I wouldn’t notice it ringing with calls or texts. She sat on the tub and watched me eat, then puke again, while she lectured me on what a jerk I was. Once I could stop barfing long enough to walk out, she had her limo take me home.”

He leaned closer and covered her clasped hands with one of his.

“I started calling and texting you from her limo. I didn’t give up. I don’t want to live without you in my life, Nica. Please don’t give up on me.”

A single tear hit the back of his hand. He moved a little closer to her and caressed her hair with his other hand.

“My mansion in L.A. is on the market. I put a huge down-payment on this place and both of our names are on the contract. I fell in love with this property months ago, but things were moving so quickly I had to wait until now to finalize the sale. All it needs is your signature on the contract and it’s
our
home. I can live here without you, an empty shell living in an empty house. Or you can move in here with me, marry me and give me back the life I’ve always dreamed of…one filled with love and family. I know I hurt you and I’m so sorry. I don’t deserve for you to forgive me, but I hope you will try.”

She blinked at her tears. He used one finger to wipe them from her eyes before leaning over to kiss each eyelid reverently. His voice was low and choked with emotion. “I promise to be a better man…to try to be worthy of you. I’d rather hurt myself than you…”

His hand traced along the side of her face, his breath caught in his throat with a sob. “I love you, Nica.
Te llevo en al alma, amor mío
.
Eres toda mi vida…tienes mi corazón en tus manos.”

She managed a small smile as tears ran down her face. “Why did you switch to
español
?”

He shrugged gently. “When I speak from my heart, it feels more natural to use the first words I ever learned….”

“Lucky for you, I understand you.”

“Do you? Can you forgive me? And will you make my world complete and marry me?”

She nodded slowly. “Yes, yes and yes.”

He surged forward and pulled her into his arms, crushing her lips with his. Their tears mingled as they used their lips and hands to express feelings for which words were inadequate. After a long time, he pulled his face up to rest his forehead on hers, his words punctuated with the accelerated breathing of their passion.

“I need to make love with you, but not on this old couch! There’s no bed in this house yet…”

A small smile was on Veronica’s lips, “But there’s a nice one at my house, and a stew in the oven that won’t be ready for a couple of hours. And a tub we can soak in, before we snuggle in front of the fireplace and make plans for our future.”

Raul stood up and reached down for Veronica’s hands to pull her up in front of him. He crushed her to his body, his nose buried in her hair. He took a deep breath that staggered its way in, as if he was fighting back tears. “I never thought I would hold you in my arms again. I was so afraid I had lost you! Nica…
querida…mi amor
…”

“I want to see the rest of the house, but we can do that tomorrow morning. After breakfast.”

Raul smiled, his face transformed with happiness that beamed from him to warm her to her toes, while it curled them in anticipation of what they were going to do in her house when they got there.

“We will tour the house and the rest of the property before we go into town to visit the realtor. No secrets between us,
querida
. I want you to know what you are getting before you sign anything.”

She smiled back at him, nodding. “I know what I’m getting,
señor
. You are a handful, but I think I’m up for the challenge.”

He placed her hand on the rock hard erection in his pants, leering at her. “I
know
I’m up for it…”

“Then let’s get going!”

He nodded. “Can you grab the pies? I’ll lock up and be right out. We can ride in your truck because it handles snow so much better than my rental car.”

Veronica did as he asked and sat with a huge smile on her face, waiting for him to come out. Raul walked to the back of the house and locked the kitchen door. Then he walked back out through the living room with its picture windows that had convinced him this needed to be their home.

“I don’t deserve to be so happy.” he said out loud as he placed the key in the front door to lock it. “But it feels so good!”

* * * *

They slept late the next morning and shared a leisurely breakfast after Veronica called Gram-Marie and explained that she needed a day off to take care of some important things. When they got back to the house, Veronica was thrilled with the dining room in the rear, with built-in china cabinets along the inside walls. Beyond that was the huge kitchen with a massive fireplace on the inside wall. The windows faced the wooded grounds behind the house.

“How much land is back there?” she asked as they crunched through the snow from the huge back porch to the beginning of the woods.

“About thirty acres, give or take,” Raul said casually. “There’s a lake back in there that no one’s been fishing for years. The realtor’s description says there used to be plenty of walleyes, smallmouth bass and lake trout, back when the house was inhabited. It’s been on the market for years, though I can’t see why…”

“I can! This place must have cost a small fortune! No one up here has that kind of money.”

Raul smirked. “Lucky for us, I do. And don’t even try to argue with me about it. Once my L.A. place sells, I’ll be able to finish paying this off. I plan to give you the title as a wedding present.”

“What if we get married before it sells?”

He pulled her close to him and rubbed against her, his one hand on her butt and the other in her hair as he pulled her face close enough for him to kiss her passionately.

“The sooner, the better! I’m tired of using condoms. I want to start making babies with you, Nica. I want us to have a family for me to belong to, forever.”

She giggled. “Last night was a good start, Raul! I’m amazed at your stamina,
señor
!”

He smiled and growled at her.

“Let’s take a quick look at the bedrooms. Then we can get started with the rest of our lives.”

There were five bedrooms with three bathrooms upstairs. The whole house smelled of disuse, but the lines of the rooms were classic and the hard wood floors were in relatively good shape. The master bedroom suite made Veronica gasp. It was above the living room, and had the same fireplace along the inside wall, along with similar picture windows from just below the ceiling to the floor. Double-paned glass kept out the wind, but the view of the lake was breathtakingly beautiful.

Raul moved up behind Veronica to hold her close, his hands on her abdomen, as he nuzzled her neck and ear.

“We can wake up every morning to that view. Enjoy a roaring fire to keep us warm as we go to sleep. I can’t wait to move in here with you,
querida
.”

Veronica felt herself twitch at the sensation of his breath on her sensitive skin as his words melted her.

“Let’s go into town and sign the paperwork for our home. We can buy a marriage license while we’re there.”

“Are you in some kind of hurry?”

“Yes! You are the love of my life, my Nica and you taught me to love my life! There is no happiness for me without you by my side…”

“I don’t like being on your side…I like it better when you are beneath me so I can ride you…or on top of me so I can bite your shoulder while I scream out your name!”

“Mercy, woman! Or I’ll christen our new house by taking you on the floor right here and now!”

She wriggled her ass against his erection before bolting for the door, “You’ll have to catch me first!”

He chased her all the way down to the front door where she let him catch her and rewarded him with a passionate kisses. She waited for him to lock up before they drove into town to begin formally knitting their lives together.

Epilogue

Before the end of February, Joey and Danny were each visited by a tall, powerfully-built man with a black mustache and a heavy Slavic accent. He spent some time demonstrating to each of them just how incredibly painful it is for the human body to have limbs forcibly dislocated. Before he drove each man—in their own car to the emergency room at the hospital closest to their homes—he watched carefully as the contact information for Raul Roderick was deleted from their cell phones.

Both men staggered into the ER where they collapsed in agony. They were placed in traction, and their recoveries gave them plenty of time for reflection on the big man’s last words.

“Don’t bother trying to identify me. I don’t exist in this country. But I can find you at any time. Don’t give me a reason to want to, because I won’t be so easy on you again.”