“I was doing a scene with Sloan,” Tara told them. “Nothing more than that. I must have blacked out and the next thing I knew I was on a couch with Sloan, Nate and Alex looming over me.”
“Alex looked pretty worried about you,” Tilly said. “He took her home,” she told the others.
Tara sent Tilly an exasperated look. The other woman just shrugged and grinned. Most people just saw the shy, quiet Tilly, but when she was around people she trusted the real Tilly came out. Tilly was smart—extremely smart and she was very good at reading people.
“Alex took you home?” Ava asked. “You’ve never even invited us to your apartment.”
“Trust me, you’re not missing anything,” Tara said dryly. The others knew she didn’t have a lot of money, but she didn’t want them knowing exactly how badly off she was. “And Alex took me home because he felt responsible for me. You know how he is.”
“Yeah, hot and sexy,” Ava said. “So what happened when the two of you got to your place?”
“Nothing happened,” Tara replied. “Trust me. Alex is not interested in me.”
“He watches you all the time,” Tilly said. “A lot of the other Doms don’t want to scene with you because they think you’re his.”
“What? That’s ridiculous. We’ve never even played together. He probably wouldn’t even talk to me if he didn’t have to. And if he’s watching me it’s only to check that I’m doing my job properly.”
“Ah-huh, you keep telling yourself that,” Tilly teased. “He could have had one of us take you home, instead he did it himself. I bet he even walked you inside and tucked you in.”
“Alex took me home because he’s an overprotective Dom. He’d have done the same if you’d fainted.”
“I don’t think so.” Tilly shook her head.
“I know that Alex isn’t interested in me.”
“How do you know that?” Jacey asked.
“Because he told me so.”
They all stared at her.
She sighed. “I asked Alex out on a date, he turned me down. End of story.”
They were all silent for a long moment.
Way to bring down the mood, Tara.
“Everything okay out here ladies? Can I get anyone anything?” They all glanced over as Sam walked up, a smile on his face. He leaned down and kissed Ava on the cheek. Straightening, he rubbed her shoulders as he looked around at everyone. “What’s wrong?”
“Alex told me that I can’t go back to the club without a medical certificate,” Tara blurted out the first thing she could think of. “Can he really do that?”
Sam frowned. “I’m with Alex on this, Tara,” he told her. “You fainted last night. You could have been seriously hurt. Go to the doctor, get checked out and you can come back. A bit more sleep wouldn’t hurt you, either. I know Roarke is going to back Alex up.”
She knew he would too. Besides, she had no intention of going to Roarke over Alex’s head.
She guessed she’d just have to suck it up and go see a doctor. Her job came with medical benefits so at least she didn’t have to worry about the cost.
“I’ll try and make an appointment for early next week,” she said. “I’m not on the schedule at the club until Thursday.”
“I’ll leave you ladies alone. Don’t tire Ava out,” Sam warned, kissing Ava on the cheek once more before walking away.
Ava stared after him. “That man has one fine ass.”
Sam wiggled his ass and everyone burst into laughter. The rest of the afternoon flew by and it wasn’t long until Tara found herself back in her dismal apartment with the peeling wallpaper and dated fixtures.
Lying back on the sofa with a sigh, she picked up one of her favorite books and let herself drift away from reality for a while.
***
“Tara?”
Tara looked around the busy cafe and saw Reagan walking towards her with a smile.
“Reagan, hi. What are you doing here?”
“I had a meeting with a client and thought I’d stop for a coffee after. Are you eating in?”
“No. I’m just getting lunch for my boss.”
“Oh.”
Did Reagan look disappointed?
“Well, maybe I can buy you a coffee another time?” Reagan asked, a hopeful look in her eyes.
Screw it.
“Let’s have one now. I’ll just tell my boss I’m late because there was a long line.”
Tara quickly paid for the food with a company credit card and sat down at a table while Reagan got them both coffee.
“I haven’t seen you at the club lately,” Reagan said as she sat down.
“No, I’ve been busy.”
It had been over a week since she’d fainted at the club, but Tim had been so demanding lately that she hadn’t had time to see a doctor and get a medical certificate.
“You’ve got a funny look on your face. Do you have indigestion? I have some antacids in my purse.”
“Uhh, no, that’s okay. It’s not indigestion.”
“I find it hard to read people,” Reagan told her suddenly. “I’m very intelligent, but when it comes to relating to others, I struggle. I often misread signals. Sorry if I just said the wrong thing.”
Tara could see how lonely the other woman was. “You didn’t say the wrong thing. Did you hear about my episode at the club?”
“You mean how you fainted while doing a scene with Sloan?”
“Yeah.”
“Everyone knows about that,” she said. She looked Tara over. “Is that what’s wrong? You’re sick? Is it cancer? Diabetes? Heart disease?”
“Ahh, no, none of those things.”
“Oh well, that’s good,” Reagan told her.
“Yes, I suppose it is.” Tara had to smile. “The thing is Alex told me that I couldn’t come back to the club without a medical certificate. That’s why I haven’t been back.”
“Well, that makes sense. You’re employed by the club; they’re probably worried you’ll sue them if you’re injured. Get a medical certificate and you can come back.”
“I’ve been really busy at work and I haven’t been able to get to the doctor yet.”
She was also afraid of the possibility that the doctor wouldn’t clear her. She wasn’t feeling any better. She was exhausted. Of course, it didn’t help that Tim had been extra demanding lately. Luckily, she had a company laptop and she could do some of her work from home at night.
“Can’t you ask your boss for some time off?”
She imagined Tim’s face if she said she needed to take some personal time.
“Tim is a workaholic and he can be…ahh…” How could she word this without sounding disloyal? “Well, let’s just say he expects a lot from his employees.”
Reagan frowned. “He should still allow you time off to go to the doctor. Is he taking advantage of you? I know a really good employment lawyer.”
Tara smiled. “You sound very fierce.”
Reagan looked at her seriously. “I like you, Tara. I don’t have many friends. Most people find me too honest, but you’ve always been nice to me. I was kind of hoping we could be friends.”
“I’d like that.” She glanced at her watch, wincing. “I’d better go, Tim will be wondering where I am with his lunch.”
“You’ve got bags under your eyes,” Reagan said bluntly.
“Umm, right.” Tara resisted the urge to go check her make-up in the bathroom.
“You should probably get some rest. You’re very pale.”
“Ahh, anything else you want to add?” Tara asked, bracing herself.
“No, I believe that’s all.”
“I haven’t been sleeping well,” Tara admitted, surprising herself.
“I always sleep better after I’ve been to the club,” Reagan said. “It relaxes me.”
“Me too,” Tara said. “I guess I really need to get that medical certificate.” She stood. “This was nice. We’ll have to do it again.”
“How about next Tuesday?” Reagan quickly suggested. “I could meet you here at the same time.”
“Sure. That sounds great.” It actually did. She had to come here each day to get Tim’s lunch anyway, it would be nice to meet a friend once in a while.
***
“I think you’re anemic. I’m going to order some blood tests to be sure. You’re also clearly exhausted. You need to slow down a bit. A vacation wouldn’t hurt,” the doctor told her.
“But you’ll give me a medical certificate clearing me to work?” Tara didn’t want to tell the lovely, older doctor the real reason she needed the medical certificate.
“I’m going to clear you to go back to work next Monday, provided you get some rest between now and then.”
That was five days away. Wasn’t great, but she guessed it was better than nothing.
“Okay.”
“I’m also writing you a prescription for some iron tablets. Wait for the test results, but if they show that you’re iron deficient as I suspect; you’ll be able to start taking the pills straight away.”
Tara nodded.
“Take what I said about a vacation seriously, Ms. Phelps. You are on your way to burning out.”
“Sure, thanks, Doctor,” Tara said with a smile. She could imagine Tim’s reaction if she asked for time off for a vacation. He’d nearly had a fit when she’d asked for a few hours of personal time, demanding to know what she was doing and if this was going to become a habit. She hated when he spoke to her in that cold voice. Usually she caved and gave him what he wanted, but this time she’d stood her ground.
Surprisingly, he’d given in and had grudgingly given her the time off.
Still, she was pretty sure she’d find herself unemployed if she went back and told him she needed a break. In fairness, he had warned her when she took this job that he would be hard to work for and he had ensured she didn’t have a family or anything else to consume her time. She’d been so desperate for the job that she’d agreed to everything.
But she hadn’t realized the toll this job would take on her.
With a tired sigh, prescription and medical certificate in hand, she left the doctor’s office. At least she could go back to the club next week. Her heart sped up at the thought of seeing Alex. Damn, she was a sucker for punishment.
***
Tara looked around for Reagan, finally spying her at the back of the cafe. She waved at the other woman before weaving her way through the tables.
“What are you doing back here?” she asked. Most people liked to sit at the tables in the front of the café where there was a view.
“Hiding,” Reagan said.
Tara waited for her to say more. When she didn’t, she shrugged and sat down.
“I got us both some coffee.” Reagan pointed to the cup in front of her.
“Thanks,” Tara replied.
“When are you coming back to the club?” Reagan asked.
“My first shift is this Thursday night.” She’d spoken to Dylan who had questioned her extensively. “Although Dylan was really reluctant to give the shift to me.”
“Why?” Reagan asked.
“He thinks I’m not up to it.”
“Are you? You still don’t look that great.”
If she was going to hang out with Reagan more then she obviously needed to grow a thicker skin.
“I need it,” she replied simply.
Reagan nodded. “I understand.”
“But I’m worried that I’ll get there and he’ll turn me away.”
“So make sure he has no reason to turn you away.”
“How? A ton of make-up?” Tara joked.
“Leave it to me,” Reagan said mysteriously. “What time is your shift?”
“I start at eight.”
“I’ll meet you in the changing rooms at seven-thirty.”
Tara opened her mouth to question her when Reagan suddenly stood, looking a little pale. “I’ve got to go.” Without saying anything else, she took off out the side door. The café was on a corner and had doors leading to both streets.
Tara stared after her in surprise before shrugging. Reagan was Reagan. Standing, she grabbed Tim’s usual order and headed back to the office.
Chapter Three
Tara checked herself over in the mirror, stalling as she waited for Reagan to appear. She looked at her watch. 7:53pm. She really needed to check in for her shift. As she turned away from the mirror, Reagan strode through the door.
“There you are,” she said as though she’d been waiting on Tara. “I’ve got it.”
“Got what?” Tara asked with a frown as Reagan held something toward her.
“Your membership card.”
“What?” Tara gaped at her in shock.
“I paid your membership fees for a year, now you don’t have to worry about getting sent home. Sammi said that as you already have a contract, she’ll just transfer your information over and bring the members contract to you to sign.”
Sammi was the club’s receptionist.
“Reagan, you can’t just pay for a membership for me.” The fees weren’t cheap.
“Why not?”
“B-because it’s a lot of money and I can’t pay you back. It’s charity.”
Reagan frowned. “You’re not a charity. I’m doing something nice for a friend or at least I thought it was.”
Reagan looked at her in utter confusion and Tara realized that Reagan was really just trying to do something nice for a friend. The money meant little to her. Maybe if Tara had plenty of money she would have done the same thing.
So she did the only thing she could think of to bring that smile back to Reagan’s face.
She hugged her. “Thank you,” she whispered as she stepped back and took the card from Reagan. She looked down at it. “I never thought I’d be an actual member.”
Her whole body relaxed as she sighed in relief. While she didn’t mind waitressing, it could be tiring after a being at work all day and she often didn’t get home until late. Maybe now she’d actually get a decent night’s sleep.
“Thank you, Reagan. No one has ever done something this kind for me before.”
After another awkward hug, Tara left and went to find Alex. She found him chatting with another Dom. She waited until the other Dom moved away before walking over to him.
“Good evening, Sir,” she said quietly, keeping her gaze lowered.
“You’re late again, Tara,” he told her with clear disapproval.
By a whole two minutes.
“Look at me.”
Slowly, she raised her head and glanced up at him. Frowning, he reached a hand out, pulling it back before he touched her face as though he hadn’t realized what he was doing. “You still look exhausted. Did you bring that medical certificate?”
“Yes.” She handed it over to him. “But I don’t need it.”
Alex raised his eyebrow. “And why is that?”
“Because as of tonight, I’m a member.” She showed him her membership card.
His face displayed no emotion. He merely raised an eyebrow as he looked at her card. Damn him. Why couldn’t he show a little of what he was thinking?
“A member? How can you afford that?”
She frowned up at him. “Not that it’s any of your business, but a friend bought it for me.”
His face grew even colder. “Another
gift
from a
friend
?”
What was his problem? He had a look of pure disgust on his face as he glared down at her.
“Don’t bother working your shift tonight,” he said. “I’ll find someone more reliable.”
“But I—”
He turned away before she could finish, leaving her gaping after him.
***
“Is it true? You’ve quit?”
Tara turned as Tilly sat beside her on the sofa.
“Yep, it’s true.”
“You don’t look very happy. What’s wrong?”
Tara frowned. What
was
wrong with her? She’d been sitting here for the last hour moping over Alex’s reaction. Why did she still care what he thought? He’d made it very clear he wasn’t interested in her. It had been over two weeks since she’d been at the club and she’d been looking forward to returning tonight. A few comments from Alex and she found herself sitting in a corner of the room, not talking to anyone.
“If I was you, I’d be ecstatic, no more sore feet, no more long nights on top of long days at work.”
Tara looked over at her. Tilly did look tired. “You don’t enjoy it.”
“No. I do it because there is no way I could afford these fees and this is the best BDSM club in the city. Did you have a fight with Alex?” Tilly asked.
Tara looked over at her sharply. “What makes you say that?”
“Because it’s always about Alex with you, Tara.” Tilly rolled her eyes. “He’s the only one who can make you look that miserable.”
“I didn’t think I was that obvious.”
Tilly took her hand, squeezing it gently. “You could tell him how you feel.”
Tara laughed sadly. “Been there, done that. I think I’ve been humiliated enough. I’ve already asked him out, remember? He made it more than obvious that he wasn’t interested in me that way. In fact, I think he really dislikes me.”
“What are you talking about?”
“When I told him I was now a member he gave me this look of disgust and told me not to bother working tonight. Then before I could say anything he just walked off.”
Tilly frowned. “That doesn’t sound like Alex. He’s usually so polite. To everyone.”
“I think I’m going to just go home.”
Tilly squeezed her hand. “You’re going to let him run you off? Just because he was a bit rude? You belong here, Tara. This is where your friends are. Don’t let him ruin that.”
Tara stared down at her feet for a moment. She loved it here. She shouldn’t let him scare her away.
“You’re right.” She straightened her shoulders. “And after I go tidy myself up, I’m going to tell him just that.”
Filled with indignant temper, she stood. “Then I’m going to find a Dom to play with.”
“Good for you,” Tilly said. She stood with a groan. “And I’m going to get back to work.”
***
Alex was feeling guilty and he didn’t like it. At all. He had no right to jump down Tara’s throat the way he had. He was just mad at himself for moving too slow. Now it might be too late to make his intentions clear.
He’d had a long think after dropping her home the other night. Alex hated that she lived in that crummy apartment in such a dangerous area of town. He wanted her living somewhere safer, and he had the perfect place in mind. He owned a fully-furnished apartment in a much safer area of the city—that also happened to be closer to where he lived. He just had to convince her to move in. He didn’t want a relationship, but he did want Tara—he wanted the right to look after her…protect her…fuck her. It could work, so long as they kept their emotions out of it.
Right now, though, he needed to find her and apologize.
Twenty frustrating minutes later, Alex found himself standing in front of the women’s changing rooms. One of the other subs had seen Tara inside getting changed.
The door opened and out stepped Carin.
“Master Alex,” she purred. “So good to see you.”
She walked her fingertips over his arm and he barely refrained from shuddering.
“Carin. Did I give you permission to touch me?”
She wasn’t someone he would ever be interested in. Oh, she was gorgeous, but it was all superficial. On the inside he’d bet she was cold as ice. He didn’t like the way she manipulated everyone around her. In fact, she reminded him of his ex-wife.
She was the complete opposite of Tara.
Carin stuck her lower lip out in what she obviously thought was a cute pout. He just found it fake and annoying. “But I was hoping you’d play with me. I’ve been very, very naughty and I need to be punished.”
God, did other men actually like this nonsense? He couldn’t believe other Doms fell for her crap.
He took a step back. “Is Tara in the changing rooms?”
Her eyes grew cold before she managed to recover herself. “Tara? She might have been, I didn’t really notice. Not very memorable, is she?”
Alex frowned. “That’s enough. Go back into the club and I’d better not hear you talking down about any of the other subs again, got it?”
“Ooh, so powerful,” she said, walking off with a sniff.
Alex shook his head. That woman didn’t need a Dom, she needed a personality transplant.
The door opened and out stepped Tara, a bag over her shoulder, her gaze on the ground. She was dressed in worn jeans and a sweatshirt that looked three sizes too big. He frowned as he noted her slumped shoulders. She looked dejected. Had he done this to her?
“Tara?”
She kept her gaze down as she tried to step around him. He reached out and grabbed her arm. She shrugged him off, stepping back so quickly that she stumbled. He grasped her shoulders to steady her.
“Don’t touch me!”
“Tara, what is wrong with you?”
“I said don’t touch me.” She pulled away again and this time he let her, but he refused to move out of her way.
“Look at me.”
“No,” she said stubbornly.
“Look at me, sub.” He kept his voice low, commanding.
She glared up at him and he was shocked by her swollen eyes, the tears filling them.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” Reaching up, he wiped away a tear trailing down her cheek.
Tara turned her head to the side. “Nothing, I’m going home.”
“It’s damn well not nothing when you’re in tears,” he said. “Come with me.”
“Alex, no,” she complained as he grabbed her hand and pulled her along.
He entered Dylan’s office, locking the door behind them. He didn’t want any interruptions. Tara attempted to dodge around him. Grabbing her, he lifted her into his arms.
Sitting on the wide leather sofa, he placed her on his lap and held her as she tried to fight her way free.
“Tara, calm down.”
“Let me go.”
“I’m not going to let you go until you calm down and tell me what’s wrong. Now take a deep breath.”
She stared down at her clenched fists as she took a deep breath in.
“There, I’m all calm now, will you let me go?”
He didn’t want to. Not when he was enjoying the feel of her against him. Her softness, her scent surrounded him, intoxicating him.
“Tell me what’s wrong,” he demanded.
She turned her head away, sitting stiffly in his arms. “I told you, nothing. Let me go. I want to go home. Now.”
“There is a penalty for lying, sweet.”
Tara turned to glare at him. “What do you care? I thought you’d be glad to see me go.”
“What are you talking about?”
She climbed off his lap. He stood as she paced across the room. Finally, she stopped in front of him and poked his chest with her finger.
“You may not like me, Alex, but that doesn’t mean you get to push me out of the club. My friends are here, I feel safe here. Just because you disapprove of me doesn’t mean I should feel forced to leave.”
He’d made her feel like she had to leave?
“Sweetheart, I never once wanted you to leave. And I do not dislike you.” He ran his hand through his hair. “God, I feel like shit for making you cry.”
“I get that you don’t want me, but did you have to tell
her
about it?”
Alex frowned. “What? Tell who what?”
“Carin. Why did you do it? Why tell her of all people that I embarrassed myself by asking you out and you turned me down?”
He suddenly realized what she was talking about and stared at her in surprise. “I never told Carin.” He recalled the smug look on the other woman’s face as she’d left the women’s changing rooms. “Did she tell you that? Is that why you’ve been crying?”
He reached up to brush her cheek and she flinched away. It hurt him that she didn’t want him touching her, but he couldn’t blame her.
“I would never have told her, sweetheart.”
She stared at him, her gaze full of hurt. “Then how did she know?” Tara rubbed her forehead. “Oh God, could she have overheard me telling Tilly? But I would have noticed her standing close by, wouldn’t I?”
“Actually, I think that the blame for this does lie partly with me,” he said grimly. “I told Roarke. In confidence. You know he would never betray that. But the door to his office was slightly ajar. When I came out, Carin was in the corridor.”
It was entirely possible she’d been listening from the corridor, and then pretended to be coming to find him.
“Baby, I’m sorry.”
She stood silent for a long moment, staring at her sneaker-clad feet. He noticed the sneakers were well-worn. If she was his, he’d make certain she had everything she needed. He would try to anticipate her every want before she even had it.
Of course there was probably no way she’d agree to have anything to do with him after this. First he’d been a complete asshole to her and now she’d been humiliated.
“Don’t be sorry. And stop calling me baby. I believe you. It would be just like that bitch to eavesdrop. She’d take any opportunity she could to humiliate me.” She squared her shoulders, raising her head to look at him. Disgust filled her face. “And I gave her exactly what she wanted, I ran away like a coward.”
Admiration filled him. He could see she wasn’t about to let what Carin had said knock her back for long. Still, he’d be having a long talk with Carin. This was not acceptable behavior.
“I thought you had told people in order to humiliate me and make me leave. I’m sorry.”
He was horrified she’d believe he could be that cruel and manipulative. “God, I really have lowered your opinion of me, haven’t I?”
“I know you don’t want me here.”
“That’s not true, baby. I made some mistakes and I’ve been an asshole, but I never wanted you to leave.”
“Just stay away from you. I understand,” she said stiffly. “Message received. I will do my best to keep away from you.” She turned to walk away and he grabbed her arm, gently pulling her back around. He cupped her shoulders, keeping her in front of him.
“No, baby, I don’t think you understand at all.”
“Stop calling me baby! We don’t mean anything to each other. You don’t want me.”
“Oh, I want you. So much…” Leaning down he took her mouth with his, sweeping his tongue between her lips to taste her. Reaching around, he cupped her ass, pulling her tight against his body so her stomach was pressed against his erection.