FOR THE LOVE OF THE SEA (18 page)

Cassie took a breath before replying, keeping her answers brief. Then she smiled at Edwin.

“And you, how long have you known Doug?” she countered.

“Forever. I was best man at his wedding. My wife’s Godmother to both the girls. Vanessa’s usually with Doug at these functions.”

Josie, who clearly thought Edwin was out of order, tried to stem the flow of questions, but Edwin simply ignored her and carried on cross-examining Cassie.

“How long have you been a widow?”

“Twenty years. How long have you been married?”

“It’s our pearl anniversary this year,” Edwin said smugly, looking at his wife. 

“Congratulations,” Cassie said, wondering what the next personal question would be.

Looking around she was relieved to see Doug making his way back towards them and she pointedly turned away from Edwin.

If Doug noticed the strained atmosphere between Cassie and his ‘right hand man’ he made no comment.

Inevitably there was a lot of business talk around the table as they ate, but Doug made a point of including Cassie.

When dinner and the short awards ceremony were over, the tables were cleared away and disco music began to fill the air. The doors leading out onto the terrace were opened and people began to circulate.   

Doug stood up and held his hand out to Cassie.

“I need some fresh air. Will you join me on the terrace?”

Once outside, Doug turned to Cassie.

“I always seem to be apologising you,” he said. “Josie tells me Edwin gave you the third degree.”

“Your family and friends are obviously very protective of you,” Cassie said diplomatically.

Doug sighed.

“What none of them seems to realise is the amount of time I spend on my own these days. Edwin goes home to his family. Vanessa - well Vanessa is a popular girl and leads a busy social life.

For me, after work it’s invariably either a TV dinner or a hotel meal, alone.” He looked at Cassie.

“I realise we haven’t known each long, but I’m already really fond of you. I want you to know I’m offering more than friendship.”

Cassie felt herself blush under the intensity of his look.

‘Doug, I…” She took a deep breath, before continuing.

“I’ve been on my own for so long, it’s difficult for me too. I’ve only just started to step outside of the world I’d hidden in for so long. I need time to sort things out before I make any commitments to anyone.”

“So long as you’re not frightened away even before we begin.” He lent forward and gently brushed her forehead with his lips.

“I have a small thank you present for you.” Doug said reached into the inside pocket of his dinner jacket.

The twisted bands of silver made an unusual bracelet.

Cassie looked at him in surprise. “Where and when did you get this?”

“The hotel shop was still open. I couldn’t resist it. I hope you like it. Certainly goes with your dress.”

“Doug, I wasn’t hinting.”

“Shh. I know. No protests. Like I said, it’s a thank you present.” This time he pulled her into his arms and kissed her properly.

He smiled as he released her. 

“Cassie we’re going to make a great couple.”

Sunday afternoon saw Cassie pacing the floor of the cottage, trying to put worrying thoughts of Polly out of her mind. Dexter had rung earlier to say that Polly was a bit low. She was due to call any moment.

“Maybe talking to you will do the trick,” Dexter had said to Cassie.

He was already in Brazil waiting for the yachts to arrive and was clearly concerned.

“Once she arrives in Brazil I can give her all the TLC she needs but right she’s very vulnerable.”

When the telephone rang Cassie grabbed the receiver.

“Polly?”

“Hi Mum. Got time to talk?”The tension in Polly’s voice was obvious.

“Are you all right, love?” Cassie asked, forcing herself to keep calm. “Has something happened?”

“No. Nothing. I just need to talk to you.”

Cassie stiffened when she heard the desperation in Polly’s tone.

“Mum, I think I’m cracking up,” Polly wailed. “I’m not cut out to be a solo sailor. I’m exhausted, fed up with my own company and I’m going to let everyone down. There’s no way I’m going to win the race even if I do manage to sail round Cape Horn and get to Brazil. The whole thing has been a pointless exercise. I just want is to come home.”

Her sobs travelled down the line in great gulps.

Cassie took a deep breath.

“Now, you listen to me Polly Lewis. You’re the one who was determined to do this race. You’re the one who badgered everyone into agreeing to give you the chance. And you’re the one who WILL see it through. Do you understand?”

Cassie sensed rather than heard Polly swallowing her sobs, trying to regulate her breathing.

“The fact you won’t win the race has nothing to do with anything. What is important is that you’ve tried, you’ve done your best. And more. Polly, you saved a man’s life. Winning any race has to take second place to that. Now, how much sleep have you had recently?”

“Catnaps.”

Cassie was silent. With Cape Horn looming it was extremely unlikely that Polly would get more than catnaps for the foreseeable future. If she could only hove to and get a couple of hours’ decent sleep, she might see things in a better perspective.

“How far are you from Cape Horn?”

“About two hundred miles.”

“Well, I suggest you increase both your cat naps and your food intake. Try to get some strength back that way. Have you spoken to Dexter or Tom recently? They’ve both done a lot of single-handed sailing. They’ll know much better than me, what you’re going through. Keep talking to them.”

Cassie paused.

“And Polly, remember we all love you. We are all proud of your achievements so far and we know you CAN do it. Get to Brazil and see how you feel then.”

The delayed action of the satellite phone seemed to accentuate the tension. The sigh that travelled down the line was as deep as ever. Cassie held her breath. Had her pep talk worked? 

“Mum, I’m sorry but I don’t think I can carry on.”

The connection died.

Chapter Thirteen

Cassie and James were enjoying an after supper coffee sitting on the tiny flower filled patio of River View Cottage. A lingering smell of sweet honeysuckle filled the air and in the quiet of the evening all they could hear was the gentle lapping of the river and the occasional call of a homeward bound curlew.

Cassie glanced at James thinking how much a part of her life he was now and how much she enjoyed his quiet uncomplicated company and the things they did together - sailing, theatre visits and simple suppers together like this evening.

It was all so different to the hectic social life Doug was introducing her to.

James caught her glance.

“You OK?”

Cassie nodded.

“I’m fine. If I’m honest I haven’t been this good in years.”

During the last few weeks their relationship had slipped effortlessly onto a new level. She’d been so worried about Polly and his support had been tireless. 

Sitting here companionably together, Cassie was suddenly overwhelmed with the desire to tell him how much he meant to her. But before she could say a word James spoke.

“You’ve turned this place into a real home Cassie. I love coming here.” He looked around appreciatively.

“Mind you I love the company too.”

Cassie knew that he spoke the simple truth. She could see it in his eyes. He did love her.

He raised his hands in resignation, “Sorry Cassie. I promised myself I wouldn’t push you.”

“James, I…”

He shook his head.

“You like living on your own then? You’re not lonely?” Even to his own ears James sounded wistful.

Cassie smiled.

“I’ve really enjoyed setting up home here and I don’t have time to be lonely. What with work at the boatyard, sailing with you, helping Tom and Mai out, seeing Anna, walking Solo, not to mention all the suppers we have together,” she teased, “time flies by.

Then there are all the social events Doug invites me to.”

She ignored the grimace that crossed James’s face at the mention of Doug. He’d made his feelings clear about that association.

Cassie knew he was unhappy on the days she went out with Doug, but she couldn’t deny the fact she enjoyed the luxurious side of life Doug had introduced her to recently. It was exciting.

“My life has turned into something of a social whirl. Changed days.” She bent down to stroke Solo, who was lying at their feet.

There was a short silence before James spoke.

“Cassie, I’m leaving in a few days for a holiday in Wales.”

“That’s a sudden decision isn’t it?” Cassie sounded surprised.

James shrugged.

“I thought I might as well take the last of my holiday entitlement. I need to think about my future too. I don’t suppose there’s any chance of you coming with me is there?”

Cassie shook her head.

“You know I’ve got a golf charity tournament with Doug at the end of the week.”

“Will you come up afterwards? No of course not,” James tersely answered his own question.

There was a strained silence for several seconds.

“James I’m sorry but I did promise Doug I’d go,” Cassie said eventually.

James stood up.

“I’ve got an early start in the office tomorrow. I’m trying to tie up as many loose ends as I can. Walk to the launch with me?”

“Of course.”

Cassie knew he was upset.

“James, I’ll miss you while you’re away,” she said, trying to make amends with the truth. “Will you phone me from Wales?”

“Of course.”

The evening air was cooler down by the river with a breeze coming up off the water and Cassie shivered involuntarily.

James hesitantly turned towards Cassie before taking her in his arms.

“Don’t get cold.” He held her tightly for a moment or two.

“While I’m away, will you please think about us, Cassie? About our relationship and where it’s going? I’d like to plan a future that includes you and me together. I can’t wait much longer. You are going to have to decide what you want.”

He drew her towards him again and kissed her gently. “I love you, Cassie. I want to marry you.”

EXTRACT FROM POLLY’S PRIVATE JOURNAL

Saturday 15
^th

The idea of this journal was to keep a truthful record of my private thoughts and fears during the race. So with that in mind, I’m going to try and write as rationally and as honestly as I can about the events of the past few weeks.

Cape Horn is finally behind me. Two days on from that grey outcrop with its fearsome reputation, and I was in a different world. The days were beautiful - blue sky, sunshine and a real ‘great to be alive’ feeling in the air.

I think
Clotted Cream
sensed we’d literally turned a corner because she started to skim across the water as though she, too, was happy to be back in the Atlantic Ocean. And now, in a few days Brazil beckons.

I hope, when I think about this adventure of mine in years to come, I can re-capture not only the memory of the good days but also the sheer terror of the time I spent in this part of the Southern Ocean.

If nothing else, it will serve to remind me that having survived this I should be able to survive anything life can throw at me.

I definitely owe Mum a BIG hug and the biggest box of chocolates I can buy when I get back. I was way out of order, ringing her like that. I feel so guilty for hanging up on her, just because I didn’t want to acknowledge the truth of what she was saying.

It’s no excuse, I know, but at the time I wasn’t thinking straight, I was so exhausted. Being so tired was terrifying in itself, without the tumultuous weather conditions I had to contend with.

Talking to Mum may have been upsetting for her but it was the best thing possible for me.

Dexter rang me a few minutes after my outburst with Mum. He too, was quite brutal and matter of fact.

“Polly, you have no choice. Just get on with it and stop moaning.”

I’d never heard such a steely edge to his voice before. He’s always encouraged me, but in a much gentler way. This time he definitely sounded cross

“By the way, I have some news for you about future sponsorship. I’ll tell you about it in Brazil. That is if you haven’t lost your bottle for yacht racing.”

There was a pause before he went on more gently, “I know it’s tough out there, Polly, but you can cope. And don’t forget, I’m here waiting for you.”

I guess I owe Dexter as much as Mum because it was their united onslaught that made me pull myself together.

It was forty-eight hours before I felt in control again. Three hours later I was on course for rounding Cape Horn. I was approximately two miles from the rock when I passed it.

The light was spectacular. Watching the massive Southern Ocean breakers slam against the steep rocky buttresses of the island sent tingles of adrenalin down my spine. 

After passing safely through one of the world’s most dangerous areas I remember breathing a huge sigh of relief and feeling a wave of euphoria sweep over me.

Only another eight thousand nautical miles to go and I’ll be home. I have to hang on to that feeling.

According to Race HQ this morning, I am currently in ninth position, which puts me way down in the points, but at least I’m still in there fighting. I shall be on the start line too with the others for the next leg, not racing to try and catch up.

Cassie was spending the night with Anna at Glebe House, ready for an early start the next day. Doug was collecting them at seven a.m. to drive them to the Country Club for the golf tournament. He’d drawn an early place in the competition.

“You and Doug seem to be close, these days,” Anna observed as she filled the kettle.

“He’s good fun and we enjoy each others’ company,” Cassie answered. “But that’s as far as it goes - on my side anyway.”

Anna raised her eyebrows, but Cassie refused to be drawn further so Anna changed the subject. 

“Have you told Polly yet about Tom seeing Sebastian in London?”