For the Night: Complete Box Set (59 page)

‘And that really gets you off?’ she asked, a
puzzled look on her face.

‘Yes,’ I replied, with no hint of apology in my
voice. It did and I didn’t want her thinking that I’d give up that side of
myself. Sometimes I craved metering out some discipline. The feeling of power
and control was intoxicating, but even better was the knowledge that she’d
trust me to look after her. That I
needed.

‘Ok,’ she nodded and lay her head back down. I
frowned as I looked at her. Was that it? Was that her way of telling me she was
in? ‘You know if we do get together, Lucas, we may be in the public eye,
hounded by the media. They’ll probably have a special name for us in the press.
Like they do for Brangelina or Bennifer. We’d be Lummer, or Sucas.’

‘Suck ass?!’ I laughed. ‘Then I sincerely hope
that they go with Lummer instead.’ I ditched the wet tea towel and melting ice
in the bath, then returned to soak her cotton wool with the witch hazel, gently
dabbing her bottom with it.

‘Hmmm, that feels better,’ she sighed, with a
yawn.

‘You’re tired, you need to sleep,’ I observed, as
I replaced the cap and set the bottle aside, tossing the wet balls over to the
waste basket, with the accuracy of a pro-basketball player.

‘You’re done with me?’ she murmured, as she fought
to keep her eyes open. I leaned down and kissed her temple as I stroked her
hair.

‘I’ll never be done with you, angel.’

‘Who knew Logan Steele’s alter ego had a soft
side,’ she smiled.

‘Logan Steele’s the alter ego,’ I corrected. ‘I’m
the real deal, not him.’

‘Yes, I think you might be,’ she whispered, as her
eyes lost the battle to remain open. I quickly got up and killed the lights,
disposing of my towel, then lifted her up, pulling the duvet back, and laying
her on her side. I covered her up again and jumped in, pulling her against me.
She sighed and snuggled up to me, her head on my chest, an arm across my taut
stomach. Damn it, I was hard again. She’d be a cure for practically anyone with
erectile dysfunction. I looked down at her, shafts of moonlight coming through
the wooden shutters that I’d forgotten to close properly and my stomach twisted
again. I felt warm all over, like I was soaking in a hot bath. This was worth
giving up my escorting for.
She
was worth it. To think I could just fall
asleep with her in my arms and wake up with her in the morning? I felt happy,
ridiculously happy, just like my best friend Dan had told me I would, if I gave
into how I felt about her. He should know, I’d never seen him as happy as he
was with his wife. He was going to be the first call I made in the morning,
after she said yes to me of course.

‘Sleep for me, angel. But tonight I’ll be yours,
I’ll be watching over you.’

‘You’re so sweet.’

‘No, you are, I could die happy right now.’

‘Please don’t, because I really like you, Lucas
Steel,’ she mumbled drowsily, making me smile even more.

‘And I
love
you, Summer Beresford,’ I
whispered with a delicate kiss to the top of her head. ‘I love you so much I
don’t know what I’d do if I ever lost you.’ I could have sworn I felt her body
tense up, then dampness on my chest and frowned as I waited for her response,
or something concrete to confirm she’d heard me. I needed to hear her say those
three words back to me, to let me know that I wasn’t in this alone. That she
was mine now, that she loved me too. But all I could hear was the sound of her
gentle breathing. ‘Summer?’

Summer

‘And I
love
you, Summer Beresford,’ he
whispered, as he kissed my hair. ‘I love you so much I don’t know what I’d do
if I ever lost you.’

I stiffened up as tears filled my eyes, a couple
escaping and dropping onto his chest as I held my breath. He
loved
me?

‘Summer,’ he repeated in another whisper. I
couldn’t reply, I was too choked up. He
loved
me? I’d wondered if he
did, I’d seen glimpses of it in his eyes, in the way he looked at me, but I’d
fought against believing it. I’d given him ninety-five percent of my trust,
while I clung to the last five percent, like Rose had to the flotsam in
Titanic
.
The last guy I’d trusted had forced himself on me, had hurt me. I didn’t want
to be hurt again. If I accepted what he’d just said, if I gave in to how badly
he affected me, what if he took it back? We’d been getting along so well, sex
tonight was another step along the journey of our relationship, another big
step, but I’d never imagined we’d be this far down the road already. It scared
me. I thought he’d ask me to date him officially, first. I thought that we’d
date, meet each other’s parents and friends before any feelings were vocalised,
way, way down the line.

I tried to pretend I was asleep. This was too
much, I couldn’t deal with this now. Not after everything that had happened
tonight, my emotions were on a fast spin cycle as it was, I couldn’t handle
love. It seemed like forever before he finally fell asleep. I carefully pulled
myself out of his tight embrace, stalling as he shifted and moaned, his hand
searching the bed for me. I gently pushed my warm pillow towards him and
watched as he put his arm around it and smiled. I was so confused. Things were
moving so fast. I crept into the spare room and found my bra and damp knickers,
they’d have to do. I pulled them on quickly and grabbed my heels in my hand and
snuck into his lounge, quietly closing the door to the bedrooms behind me,
retrieving my coat from his sofa and pulled out my mobile. It was five a.m. but
I needed to get out of here, get some air and clear my head. I found the
chauffeur David’s card and rang his number.

‘Hello?’

‘I’m so sorry to ring you so late, or so early,
I’m not sure which it is,’ I whispered, trying to keep my voice down so I
didn’t wake up Lucas. ‘You dropped me off at Logan’s earlier, would you be able
to pick me up?’

‘Of course I can. I’ll be there in about half an
hour. I’ll press the buzzer for you.’

‘No,’ I shot back and grimaced, hoping I hadn’t
been too loud. ‘Can you text me when you’re outside? I don’t want to wake Mr.
Steele. He’s sleeping.’

‘Of course, Miss Fullerton. I’ll text you when I
arrive.’

‘Thank you, and I’m really sorry to do this to
you.’

‘No need to apologise, it’s what I’m paid for.’

I put the phone down and lowered my head into my
shaking hands.
Why did he have to tell me he loved me?
It had been going
so well. Now he’d gone and ruined everything. I felt heartbroken. This wasn’t
the way I’d planned it. I hadn’t waited all this time, put myself out there to
try his dominating sex stuff for it to end now, but
love?
Already? No, I
wasn’t ready for that. Maybe he said it by mistake, because he was excited to
have had his kinky way with me, to have had me the way that he loved so much. I
shook my head. That wasn’t what it was, I knew it wasn’t, I’d seen it in his
eyes long before tonight. I’d tried to ignore it, put it to the back of my
mind, but now he’d made it real. Now there was an elephant in the room that I
couldn’t ignore. I paced up and down his lounge for what seemed like forever,
wringing my hands, trying to decide what to do. I just had a feeling if I woke
him up and tried to explain how scared I was, even more scared than when I’d
found his BDSM room, we’d argue and he’d get stubborn like he had before. He’d
put his foot down, he wouldn’t let me walk away and take the time I needed to
process this. He’d made me promise that after last night I’d give him an
answer. And I had promised. Today he was expecting an answer as to whether we
were a couple, he wouldn’t accept any more stalling, or anything but the truth.
After all, he
was
a dominant man. A force of nature. He’d been more than
lenient with me over the last year or so, giving me a very long leash while I
handled this … whatever we were.

I checked my phone again, it was nearly time. I
quickly pulled on my coat and belted it, as I tried to decide what to do, my
mind racing with conflicting thoughts. Running out on him like this, in the
middle of the night, after he’d just told me that he loved me, was the coward’s
way out. I knew it, but I really wasn’t ready for a confrontation. I stopped
and bent over the kitchen island, gripping the edges with my fingers, as my
inner turmoil raged. I blew out a deep breath and frowned as I spotted a card
with my name on it, propped against a small vase with a beautiful calla lily
in, my favourite flower. That wasn’t what caught my attention. What did was the
small square black velvet box. My mouth went dry as I looked at it. No way.
No
way
! He’d bought me a damn ring? Less than twenty-four hours ago we were
just friends, now it was hot bottoms, handcuffs and obedience in the special
room, love and a bloody engagement ring? I ran to the front door, slid my shoes
on, and quickly unlocked it. I stepped out and pulled it to, as quietly as I
could and prayed for David to hurry up, as I felt tears starting to trickle
down my face.

It was nearly six a.m. when I closed the door in
my apartment and leaned back on it. I felt like hell. David must have thought I
was a crazy woman, as I’d sobbed all the way back. He’d been a gentleman and
had handed me tissue after tissue, never saying a word, or looking at me in the
rear view mirror.
What was I doing?
Lucas was everything I’d ever wanted
and I was running away? I needed to talk to someone, I needed advice before I
completely fucked this up, if I hadn’t already. He’d told me no more chances,
if he woke to find I was gone … I shook my head and dialled Mandy. I’d never
rung her in the middle of night, she’d always said she’d be there for me if I
needed her and right now I needed her.

‘Summer?’ she mumbled in a sleepy haze.

‘God I’m so sorry to wake you up, but I’m … I’m …’
I felt tears stinging my eyes again. How could I cry anymore?

‘What’s wrong?’

‘It’s Lucas, he’s … he’s …
Mandy
,’ I sobbed
as I slid down the door and thudded onto the hard oak floor.

‘O my God, has he hurt you?’ she uttered, suddenly
sounding wide awake.

‘No. He told me … he told me that he
loves
me.’

‘Well duh! Hardly news of the bloody century.
Everyone who’s ever met him knows he’s in love with you.’

‘They do?’ I sniffed, as I wiped my face on my
coat sleeve.

‘Again I repeat “duh.” Summer, why are you so
upset?’

‘I panicked, I ran out and came home while he was
asleep.’ I sighed, feeling ashamed at myself.

‘O, Summer. You can be so stupid sometimes. This
is amazing news, he’s an amazing guy. Any other girl would be jumping up and
down with joy to have a guy like Lucas even look at them, let alone profess his
love.’

‘I know, but I’m not any other girl, am I?’

‘I thought you wanted this, you were so excited
about taking your relationship to the next level,’ she sighed, sounding as
confused as I was feeling.

‘I do, I did. But it was supposed to be one step
at a time. Last night was sex the way he liked it, today was going to be
agreeing to date if I wasn’t freaked out, and I wasn’t, Mandy. But love’s a
whole other step, a step much further up the staircase of a normal
relationship.’

‘Please,’ she laughed. ‘When have the two of you
ever followed normal rules of a relationship? You paid him, a stranger with a
different name, to take your virginity. You both fancied the pants off each
other. You tried to book him again, he didn’t get your email, but when he
finally saw it, he came to claim you, blowing your mind again with hot, hot,
HOT
,
as hell sex. He asks you out, you run away making him feel like crap. Then
you’re “just friends” for fourteen months, then he takes you to his dungeon of
pain and tells you he loves you. It’s got gripping, scorching hot, erotic
romance movie with angst, written all over it. Screw normal, normal is bloody
boring, Summer. Trust me. I’d give anything for something “not normal.” Don’t
you want to be with him?’

‘Of course I do,’ I answered, without even having
to think about it. ‘It’s
Lucas,
Mandy. He’s … he’s kind, caring,
intelligent, funny, protective and he looks … he looks like
that.
What’s
not to like?’ I sighed.

‘Like? If I was there with you I’d slap you back
to reality. You
love
him, Summer. Even if you’re too scared to admit it
to yourself, let alone him. You’ve loved him from the moment he turned up at
that premiere, probably the moment he dropped you off at your house that first
time.’

‘I can’t love him, it’s too soon. What if it
doesn’t work out and I get hurt.’

‘He’s not Ant. He’s not befriended you to try and
get his way with you against your will. He’s in love with you. How many men
would wait that long for sex with their girl? Not many I can tell you. Some
people fall in love in weeks, you’ve known each other for two years, Summer. I
doubt he’d ever intentionally hurt you. In fact, I think he’s the kind of
knight in shining armour little girls dream of. He’d duel for you, put his life
on the line for you and you’ve run away from him? Sneaked off like a thief with
his heart, in the middle of the night? How’s he going to feel when he wakes up
to find you not there?’