For The Sake of Her Family (36 page)

‘Penny for them?’ Alice smiled and kissed him behind his ear.

‘What’s that? What did you say?’ Gerald spun round and faced her. ‘Don’t you ever sneak up on me again.’

‘I only meant a penny for your thoughts. You looked so intent as you stared at little Alice. I’m sorry if I disturbed you.’ Alice loosened her grip as Gerald turned back to the
sleeping baby.

‘I thought I heard her screaming, but she’s asleep. I must have been dreaming. Do you think she’s all right, Alice? She isn’t showing signs of being like her mother, is
she? I worry for her.’

‘Don’t be silly – she’s perfect in every way. She’s got her mother’s good looks with that mop of black hair, but she’s as bright as a button.’
Alice stroked the sleeping baby’s cheek and linked her arm into Gerald’s. ‘Come on, come back to bed. Mrs Dowbiggin’s beginning to stir and here’s us in our
nightclothes.’

‘No, I’m getting up. I need to have a ride around my land before breakfast, see what’s been going on while I’ve been away. So stop tempting me, woman, I’ve things
to do . . . but tonight is another matter.’ He slapped Alice firmly on her buttocks and chased her back to his bedroom. Then he quickly got dressed and set off, slamming the front door behind
him.

Alice lay in bed listening to the horse’s hooves clattering across the gravel and down the rough path. She’d got her man and a family. For the first time in her life she felt
content; this was where she belonged, warm and secure in the fine bedlinen of the manor with the sun shining through the windows and breakfast being prepared just for her. Life couldn’t get
any better.

‘Well, I don’t know what on earth he’s thinking about. He must have lost his senses – and she hers: fancy sleeping with another man on what should have
been your wedding night! As for him, he’s only having his bit of fun.’ Mrs Dowbiggin was turning the spitting bacon in the huge frying pan as she shouted to Faulks, without realizing
Alice had appeared in the room.

Faulks’s muffled cough made her aware of Alice’s presence.

‘Please don’t stop on my account,’ said Alice. ‘You’re entitled to your opinions. But let me make one thing clear: Gerald and I are to be married, so you will soon
have to give me some respect as I will be the lady of the house.’ Alice turned, her skirts rustling as she marched out of the kitchen, calling over her shoulder, ‘I’ll have my
breakfast in the study, please, Faulks. Master Gerald’s gone out on his horse and he may be some time.’

Alice was angry. How dare they gossip about her as if she wasn’t there? She’d show them. She’d ask Gerald for an engagement ring and then they’d know he was serious.
Maybe that would make them respect her.

‘Mrs Dowbiggin didn’t mean any harm, Alice. We both think a great deal of you. She was only trying to protect you. You see, we know Master Gerald, and he has always
been hasty in his actions, especially when he sees someone else getting something he wants.’ Faulks put the tray down next to Alice as she looked out of the window.

Alice was still angry as Faulks made his apology. ‘That’s just it, Faulks: he wants me and he is to marry me. Tell Mrs Dowbiggin I need to see her. We’ll start talking about
wedding plans this afternoon. I’m sure Gerald will agree. I think Midsummer Day will be ideal, don’t you, Faulks? That is my birthday, after all.’

‘I’m sure it will be ideal, Miss Alice. And once again I’m sorry if we were talking out of turn. I’ll tell Mrs Dowbiggin to start thinking of some plans for your wedding
day.’

He closed the door firmly behind him, leaving Alice playing with her scrambled egg like a sulking toddler, pushing it around the plate, uninterested in eating it. She would have the perfect
wedding. He did love her – it was so obvious to her. Why could no one else see it?

It was nearly noon before Gerald arrived back at the manor. Alice had been wearing the carpet thin pacing up and down the study, preparing her instructions for Mrs Dowbiggin
and her questions for Gerald.

‘Gerald, you’ve been ages. I’ve been counting every minute.’ Alice rushed to his side as he entered the study.

He poured himself a drink and sat down heavily in his chair. ‘Bloody hard morning, Alice. I’ve called in at my lettings – nearly all of them have a lad missing or still over
there fighting. I feel a fraud being discharged and back in my old life. You know half of them could have stopped at home; all they had to do was say they were needed by their fathers to keep the
farms going. But instead they’ve chosen to fight. And for what? A bloody government that’s using them for cannon fodder.’ He swigged the last of his port and rose to pour himself
another.

‘I’ll ask Mrs Dowbiggin to make us some lunch. You’ll feel better once you’ve eaten.’

‘Better? You think a bit of lunch is all it will take to make me feel better? Nothing’s going to make me feel better, stop me hearing the screams and the faces of the dead, the rats
and the squalor of the trenches. Yet here I am, safe and secure, lying to those poor, blissfully ignorant tenants of mine, telling them their sons and brothers will be fine, that they should be
proud that they are fighting for their country.’ He swigged his port and idly twisted the glass in his hand.

Frightened, Alice slipped out of the study. Gerald had changed; the war had left its mark on him.

‘Are you all right, Miss Alice?’ Faulks appeared, on his way to the study.

‘Yes, thank you, Faulks. Could you take Master Gerald some lunch, please? And can you tell Mrs Dowbiggin that I won’t need to see her this afternoon? I’ll make it another day.
Master Gerald isn’t up to discussing weddings at the moment.’

‘Very well, Miss Alice. Will you be partaking of lunch with Master Gerald?’

‘I won’t, thank you, Faulks. I’m going for a walk.’ Alice thought she detected a smirk on the butler’s face, but she wasn’t going to rise to it. She knew why
she’d cancelled and it had nothing to do with servant intervention.

She climbed the stairs and went into the makeshift nursery. Baby Alice was asleep in her nursemaid’s arms.

‘I was hoping to take Alice for a walk. Would that be all right?’ Alice leaned over and kissed Baby Alice on her brow.

‘She’s due for her bottle in half an hour, ma’am. I reckon she’ll scream all the way without her feed. She likes her food, does our Alice.’ The nursemaid smiled at
the rosy-cheeked infant as she slept content in her arms.

‘I’m sorry that Master Gerald said we could manage without you. Will you be able to find work elsewhere?’ Alice looked at the nursemaid; she was good at her job.

‘I’ll go back to Sedbergh. I’m sure I’ll find some job in service, or perhaps at the private school there. I will miss this little one, though. She keeps my mind off
things.’ She smiled and turned her head to the baby, her eyes filling with tears.

‘I’m sorry. I hope life improves for you.’ Alice pulled the nursery door closed behind her and left the manor. She wanted to be alone with her thoughts; in the last twenty-four
hours her world had been turned upside down, and she didn’t quite know what was going to hit her next.

Alice looked at the empty space next to her. The sheets and pillow were uncrumpled: Gerald’s side of the bed had not been slept in. Hugging her pillow, she gazed at Baby
Alice sleeping in her cot, blissfully unaware of her namesake’s worries.

Three months had passed since his return from the front; three months of turmoil, getting to know the new Gerald with his moods and temper tantrums. At first, Alice had put it down to the fact
he was still recovering from the horrors of war, but now she was worried. He no longer looked at her in the way he had done that day in the church. She felt he was bored with her already, and all
talk of an engagement or wedding had long since been forgotten. She was his nursemaid and easy lover, the one who kept his bed warm when he was not out gambling with his so-called friends or
drinking and womanizing. Mrs Dowbiggin and Faulks must have seen how things were, but they said nothing, keeping their heads down and getting on with their jobs as if his behaviour was nothing out
of the ordinary. How wrong she had been to think that he loved her. He’d wanted her, but that’s all it was. There was no love there. She should have known that; after all, she’d
been warned by just about everyone.

A tear trickled down her cheek. To think she’d let Jack walk away from her for this cad. Once again she’d ended up being used, all for the sake of trying to better herself and for
trying to keep Baby Alice close to her. Better to have no home at all than be treated like a prostitute. What was it that made men look at her in that way? Did she have ‘Tart’ written
across her forehead, invisible to women but there to be seen by all men? She sniffed and controlled her tears as she heard the front door go and Gerald swearing as he took his riding boots off in
the hallway before making his way up the stairs and into bed.

‘You still here? God, I thought you’d be long gone.’ He slurred his words as he lunged across the bedroom and collapsed on the bed. Mumbling and smelling of drink, still
dressed in his clothes, his breeches covered with mud from riding, he pulled the bedcovers over him.

Outside Alice could hear his horse pawing the gravel. The poor creature, he hadn’t even unsaddled and stabled it before coming indoors. Jack would have seen to it if he’d still been
employed at the manor, but since the onset of war he’d only worked for himself and his father. Alice lay still until she heard him snoring; then she quietly rose and dressed before picking
the sleeping baby up in her arms and going downstairs. Placing the still-slumbering baby on the large sofa in the drawing room, she arranged the cushions to stop her from falling on the floor, and
then went outside to unsaddle the distressed horse. The sun was shining, but there was a slight hint of autumn frost in the air with the early morning mists clinging to the river in the valley
below.

‘Shh, now. What a state you’re in. He must have ridden you like the devil.’ She approached the sweat-flecked horse, whispering softly as she took hold of the harness and
stroked it on its neck. Once it was calm, she began leading it in the direction of the stables.

‘I’ll take that for you, Miss Alice. It isn’t a job for a lady.’ Faulks appeared out of the kitchen door and came towards them with his hand outstretched. ‘I
thought I heard the master return. I can’t believe he’d leave his horse in this state. He used to be such a proud horseman.’ The butler shook his head as he took control of the
reins. ‘Mrs Dowbiggin’s got the kettle on, if you want to join us for an early morning cuppa.’

Alice nodded and, leaving him to take the horse into the stables, headed back to the drawing room to check on Baby Alice before joining the housekeeper in the kitchen.

Mrs Dowbiggin was still in her flannelette nightie and dressing gown, her long grey, thinning hair in cotton rags to give it a bit of curl.

‘Oh my Lord – Miss Alice, I didn’t expect you in the kitchen at this hour. Look at me, I’m not even dressed. What will you think of me?’

‘Don’t worry, Mrs Dowbiggin. I’m only glad you’re up and that the fire’s going. It’s cold out there. Faulks says there’s tea on the go. Is it all right
if I join you?’

‘Don’t be silly, lass, you don’t have to ask. Here, sit yourself down and I’ll get you a cup. It’s been a while since you’ve sat in here with us. I must say,
I’ve missed your company. I don’t get much out of old Faulks nowadays.’

Alice sighed and gazed into the fire, silently clasping the cup in her hands as Mrs Dowbiggin busied herself in the kitchen.

‘You look troubled, Alice. What’s wrong? Do you want to tell me? If not, just say I’m to mind my own business.’

‘I can’t tell you . . . You all warned me, but I thought he loved me. I thought I was the only one and I was besotted. I’ve been such a fool!’ Alice hid her head in her
hands, tears dripping through her closed fingers.

‘Now then, pet, you were only trying to better yourself, and I don’t blame you for that. But even before Master Gerald went to war, he used to play games with young women. Yours
won’t be the first heart he’s broken.’ Mrs Dowbiggin put her arms around her and held her tight. ‘Just make the best of it, lass. At least you’ve got a roof over your
head and you’re well fed. Baby Alice needs a mother and you are all she’s got, because her uncle never looks at her twice. Poor little thing – no mother or father, and an uncle
who doesn’t have the time of day for her. If I were you, I’d tell him that you are moving into the spare bedroom with her because she’s teething. He won’t mind –
he’s coming home drunk most nights anyway. And it’ll give you a bit of peace for a night or two.’ Mrs Dowbiggin squeezed Alice, hugging her extra tight. ‘There, I’d
better get dressed before Faulks comes back in. You sit there and have your tea. I’ll pop in and see if Alice is still asleep.’ The old housekeeper bustled out of the kitchen shaking
her head. She’d known it would all end in tears, but there was no telling a lass when she was head over heels in love.

Alice sniffed and wiped the tears away with the back of her hand as Faulks walked in.

‘The horse is seen to, Miss Alice. She’s stabled and wiped down and fed. I still can’t believe that the master would leave his pride and joy like that. I don’t know what
the world’s coming to.’

‘Neither do I, Faulks,’ Alice sniffed. Conscious that Faulks was uncomfortable at the sight of her crying into her tea, she made an effort to smile.

‘May I say, miss, I can’t understand the way he’s acting. I’ve known Master Gerald all his life and he’s not the gentleman I thought he was, miss.’ He coughed
apologetically into his hand.

‘He’s definitely no gentleman – we’ve both been fooled. But what to do about it, I don’t know.’ Alice smiled and got up to return to Baby Alice. At least she
was welcome in the kitchen once again and had allies in Faulks and Mrs Dowbiggin.

It was a true autumn day: the rain hadn’t stopped, and the winds howled around the manor. Alice and the baby were cosy and warm in the nursery with the fire blazing in
the hearth. As she watched the little one playing with her teddy and ball, Alice felt more content than she had in a while. Gerald had been gone a few days now and she was thankful for a bit of
peace. Since she’d moved into the spare bedroom, he’d been less attentive, virtually ignoring her sometimes.