For the Win (Playing for Keeps Book 1) (10 page)

London

“London?” Dad entered the family room. “You okay?”

I stood with my back against the door, my heart pounding in my chest. Unable to speak, I nodded.

“What happened?”

I wasn’t even sure. The whole exchange with Cooper had left me bewildered. His demeanor was nothing like the way he’d acted in our previous exchanges. I wasn’t ruling out recreational drug use at this point.

“Speak, London.” Dad stepped into the room, narrowing his eyes. Wrinkles formed around them. “You’re scaring me.”

It was then that I realized I was shaking. My hands quivered at my sides. “Nothing happened, Dad. I’m fine.”

“You sure?”

I nodded. Outside I heard the sound of Cooper’s car door opening and closing, followed by the car engine roaring to life.

“What did he want?” Dad nodded toward the window.

“I’m not sure.”

Dad’s lips curved upward in a teasing way. “He looked a little smitten to me.”

My chest tightened. “He’s not smitten. Also, no one uses the word ‘smitten’ anymore.”

“Trust me. I know these things. I’m a guy too.”

I shoved off the door still feeling a little unsteady on my feet. “Thanks for clarifying your gender with me.”

He chuckled. “My daughter. Always the smart-alec.”

I walked across the family room, suddenly very tired. “I think I’ve had enough excitement for one day. I’m gonna go to bed.” After giving Dad a kiss on the cheek, my eyes grazed over Mom’s picture. I shivered.

“What happened to your mom isn’t going to happen to you, London.”

His words startled me. “I know.”

“Do you?” He eyed me knowingly. “Cooper seems like a nice boy. Don’t push him away because of what happened in the past.”

“I’m not,” I said before shuffling briskly down the hallway. When I reached my room, I slipped inside and closed the door firmly. But even in the quiet of my room, Dad’s words reached me, batting and clawing at me. Were they true? Was I pushing Cooper away because of Mom?

It was easy to assume it was my distrust of Cooper that kept me from giving in to him tonight. But my memory of Mom had always held me captive. Her grip on me was stronger now than it ever had been when she was alive. And that fateful day had lived in my mind like a living, breathing thing. It had shaped me into the person I was today. Much of my decisions and behaviors stemmed from that one moment in time. Above anything else that had ever happened to me, it was that day that defined me.

A song rang out in my quiet room, and I jumped, a squeal leaping from my throat. It took a minute to realize it was my phone. Racing to my dresser, I picked it up. Skyler’s picture lit up on the screen.

“Hey, Skyler.”

“What was Cooper doing at your house?”

“Who needs an alarm system with you around?” I teased. “You’re a regular watchdog. If the neighbors ever come around wanting to start a neighborhood watch program, I’m sending them your way.”

Skyler’s giggle floated through the line. I leaned my back against the dresser, the knob of the drawer poking into my back.

“He looked hot in his baseball uniform,” she said, and I didn’t bother denying it. He
had
looked hot. “What did he want?”

“To tell me that he played shitty, and it was my fault.”

“What?” She sounded as shocked as I felt when he first said it. “Okay, start at the beginning. I want to hear the whole thing.”

Weariness was hitting me hard, and my eyelids were lowering. I wanted to stay up all night and chat with Skyler, but I was too damn tired. I’d been feeling this way a lot lately. Maybe I wasn’t getting enough sleep. I vowed to go right to sleep tonight, and not pick up my Kindle at all.

“I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow. I’m going to bed.”

“But it’s only eight o’clock.”

“Is it that early?”
Shit. It felt like midnight
. I yawned. “I haven’t been sleeping well.”

“Okay.” She sighed heavily in the phone. “Fine, but I’ll give you a ride. I’m not waiting until lunch to hear about this.”

“Deal.” Usually I protested when Skyler offered to give me a ride, but the truth was that the bike rides were getting more tedious with each passing day. This morning I even had to stop to catch my breath after riding up a hill. Man, I sounded like an old woman. I needed some serious sleep tonight so I could get my energy back.

After hanging up with Skyler, I sank down onto my bed and stared out the window. The sky was dark, the crescent moon illuminating it with bright yellow light. My skin buzzed where Cooper had touched me. Reaching up, I ran my fingers along my lips, wondering what it would have felt like to have Cooper’s lips on mine. Would it have been so bad to let him kiss me? I’d never been kissed before, so I didn’t even know what I was missing.

There are worse guys to have your first kiss with than Cooper Montgomery.

From that first day I’d hiked out to the baseball field to interview Cooper I’d been attracted to him. Even though I’d tried to deny it, it was true. But he confused the hell out of me. I could never figure him out.

You stir up these feelings inside of me that I don’t understand.

Well, that made two of us.

The insistent buzzing woke me. My eyelids fluttered open, and I reached out expecting to touch my alarm clock. But my fingers skimmed my bedspread. My body ached, my neck kinked. When I opened my eyes all the way, they felt sticky and dry. The alarm clock still blared, so I rolled over trying to locate it. Crawling forward on my bed, I swung my arm out. My palm connected with the button, and the noise ceased. Glorious silence blanketed me. The room came into focus, and I blinked, confused. Oh shit. Had I forgotten to take out my contacts?

Glancing down, I realized I was wearing the same clothes I had on last night. I must have fallen asleep right after my conversation with Skyler. Sure enough, my phone was exactly where I’d left it on my dresser. The battery was probably dead by now. Wow, I really must have been tired. At least I got a good night’s sleep. Now maybe I wouldn’t be so exhausted today. Although even as I thought it, I knew that I didn’t feel as rested as I should. Pushing myself up, my joints cracked. Yawning, I tossed my legs off the bed. My feet hit the carpet, the soft reeds brushing my heels. Standing, I moved toward my dresser. When my gaze found my reflection, I cringed. Lines from the bedspread ran over my flesh, and my hair was stuck to my head like it had been glued that way. A shower was unavoidable this morning. Heading across the hallway toward the bathroom, memories of last night crashed over me. A small smile drifted over my lips, and I knew I was in big trouble.

Standing under the spray of the shower, I wondered if Cooper would even speak to me today after I’d pushed him away last night. A part of me hoped he’d ignore me. It would make all of this easier. I knew that I wouldn’t have enough willpower to turn him down a second time. No matter the consequences, if he came on to me again, I knew I’d take him up on his offer.

By the time I finished getting ready, Dad was leaving for work. When I entered the kitchen to make my lunch, he glanced over at me with one eyebrow raised.

“You look nice.”

“You sound surprised.”

“Not surprised, pumpkin. You always look beautiful.”

My cheeks warmed at his words. Reaching into the cabinet, I dragged out the loaf of bread.

“You just don’t normally dress like that.”

After setting down the loaf of bread, I glanced down at the red top, skinny jeans, and silver sandals I had on. The sandals I had worn for my cousin’s wedding last summer, and the red top was one Skyler insisted I buy on our last trip to the mall. I had to cut the tag off of it this morning.

Opening the fridge, I shrugged. “Just felt like wearing something a little different. Besides, Skyler’s giving me a ride, so I don’t have to wear my tennis shoes.”

“This wouldn’t have anything to do with a certain baseball player, would it?”

Now my cheeks felt like they were on fire. With trembling hands, I pulled out the lunch meat and mayonnaise. “No, it wouldn’t.”

“Okay. If you say so.” Dad grabbed his lunch off the counter. “Have a good day, pumpkin.”

My hands full, I closed the fridge door with my hip. Then I dropped the contents on the counter. “You too.”

After Dad left, I hurriedly finished making my lunch. Then I headed outside to meet Skyler. When I stepped onto my front porch, my breath hitched in my throat. Standing in my driveway leaning against his parked car, was Cooper. He wore a pair of jeans and a grey t-shirt that perfectly molded to his taut chest. Covering his blond hair was a navy blue baseball hat. It made his blue eyes stand out even more than usual.

“What are you doing here?”

“Is that how you’re always going to greet me?” He shoved off the car, and stepped forward.

“Sorry. I wasn’t expecting you.” My gaze flitted next door. “Skyler was giving me a ride.”

“Not anymore. She said it was cool if you rode with me.”

“She did?” I caught sight of Skyler peeking out the window. She gave me a smile and a thumbs up sign. I almost laughed out loud.

“Yeah. She came out a few minutes ago.” His gaze roved over my body. “You look hot.”

I inhaled sharply. “Hot?” No one had ever said that to me before.

“Yeah. Normally you look pretty. Today you look hot.”

“Y-y-you normally think I look pretty?” My head was spinning, and for a minute I wondered if I was still asleep in my bed dreaming. None of this felt real.

“Absolutely.” He nodded. “Why does that surprise you?”

“I guess because no one has ever said it before.” I paused, remembering my conversation with my dad. “Well, except my dad.”

“We’ve got to change that.” He smiled.

I swallowed back the emotion that rose in my throat.

“I’m sorry about last night,” he said.

“You are?” I frowned, wondering if I misread everything.

He took another step until he was so close I could smell the toothpaste on his breath, the faint scent of deodorant, and soap on his skin. “Not sorry about what I said. I meant every word. But I’m sorry I came on so strong.” Slowly he lifted his arm, keeping his gaze trained on me as if gauging my reaction. I stayed calm, standing still like a statue. When his fingers swept across my chin, I didn’t flinch. “I didn’t mean to scare you, London. I never want to scare you.”

The fear that inhabited my heart fought its way out, but I shoved it back down. Not today. Not now. I would listen to my dad, and listen to my heart. I wouldn’t allow what happened to Mom ruin this for me.

“I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have pushed you away.” I started to lower my gaze, but his fingers gently forced my head back up.

“Are you saying that if I try to kiss you again you won’t stop me this time?”

My heart clattered in my chest, and my palms moistened.
Was that I was saying?
Dear god, I didn’t know.

Panic must have registered on my face because Cooper cocked his head to the side. “London, you’ve never been kissed before, have you?”

I shook my head.

“Ah, now I really feel like a dick.” He withdrew his hand from my face.

“Why?” Already, I missed his touch.

“Because your first kiss should be amazing.” He smiled. “And I’m going to make sure it is.”

“What makes you so sure it’s going to be with you?” I teased.

“Oh, trust me. It’ll be with me.”

At his confidence I couldn’t help but feel a little giddy. And when I got into his car, my mind spun with the possibilities. As much as I wanted him to kiss me now, I knew waiting was best. I had only come to terms with my feelings for him last night. I needed to give it time. I needed to be sure. Not only that, but I needed to know that he was sure. As we pulled into the school parking lot, I knew this would be the true test. It was one thing for Cooper to think he had feelings for me when it was the two of us. Would he feel the same way at school in front of our peers and his friends? Would he feel that way when he compared me to the popular girls he normally dated?

I wasn’t so sure, and my stomach rolled with doubt and worry. Reaching down, I picked up my backpack and hoisted it into my lap.

“Hey.” His hand rested on my thigh.

My pulse spiked.

“Tell me why you don’t use your locker,” he said, his question surprising me.

“Um…I just don’t like to.”

“Why don’t you like to?”

I shifted in the seat, noticing the time on his dashboard. “Crap. I have to get to class.”

His grip on my thigh tightened. “Please tell me why.”

“My locker is right next to Calista’s, and she sort of bothers me every time I try to use it. Sometimes she and her friends stand in front of my locker refusing to move, and I end up being late for class. Or she makes rude remarks about my clothes.” Feeling like an idiot, I bit my lip. I wouldn’t be stunned if he changed his mind about me at this point. I sounded like a whiny kid. “It’s no big deal. I find it’s easier to avoid the entire thing by carrying my books around.”