They had maybe been going for another fifteen minutes before Amisi tripped whilst trying to execute and Crescent Kick, falling flat on her stomach and looking at me. She went red in the face and jumped to her feet.
“No fair, Lucinda! How long have you been watching him kicking my butt?” Amisi has a lovely thick Egyptian accent, but speaks English to perfection, recently improving it even further with my choice word selection and carefully scripted guidance. There's just no point speaking a second language if you don't know the slang.
I laughed - surprising myself with the sound - at her outrage, knowing she'd calm in a moment, nothing riles Amisi for long. I flicked a glance at Nero, standing still, so intense, watching me.
“You honour us with your presence, Kiwi. Have you come to train?”
I attempted a smile back at him, trying to elicit a grin out of that strictly set face. It worked, his lips twitched slightly at the corners, but his brow furrowed in direct contrast to the action.
“I needed a distraction and what better way to be distracted than by my two favourite Nosferatins.”
Amisi jumped up and down, she was still so young, but looked so much older. The world she had grown up in was not safe, was not always kind. She was surrounded by love of course, but evil lurks out there and she knew her nightmares were real.
“I'll grab some apple tea. We were going to break now anyway, weren't we, Nero?”
Nero just sighed at her and shot me a pointed glance. Disrupting his training sessions was not something he tolerated lightly.
“All right, Amisi, you know how much Kiwi loves our apple tea.”
She scooted off and Nero headed to the other corner where a pile of cushions were scattered on the floor. I got up and joined him. I'd only recently learned the knack of falling gracefully onto Egyptian cushions. Prior to mastering the move, I had been an embarrassment to my sex. Short skirts are just not lounging wear. Not that I would wear this outfit if I was actually in Egypt, I know not to offend, but when Dream Walking it's only Nero and Amisi who can see me. She doesn't care and Nero has never complained, often glancing at me right when I sit, trying no doubt to cop a flash. He is a man after all.
“So, what is on your mind, Kiwi?” he said as he settled back against the brightly coloured cushions, his white linen top making the dark colour of his skin simply gorgeous. I have always wanted to reach out and touch his skin, to make sure it didn't rub off, to make sure it wasn't fake, but I had enough boy problems right now, overstepping the boundaries with Nero was not one of them.
“Nothing. I just fancied a visit.”
He huffed at me. “I know you too well, Lucinda. You seek a distraction because you are running from a problem.”
I frowned at him. What the hell? Why am I such an easy book to read.?
“I like that I can read you so well, Kiwi. I like knowing you.”
I held my breath while I digested that. One, how had he used the exact same words I had been thinking and two, he liked knowing me? He said the knowing as though it meant more than just the word. Huh.
I sighed and swallowed past the lump in my throat. “You don't need to know about all my pathetic problems, that's not why I came. I need to get away from it for an hour or so, until the sun sets and I can actually get my butt away too.”
He looked at me with that intense look he often wore, like he could see right through me.
"I am your friend, Lucinda. You know you can talk to me."
I dropped my eyes from his. Usually that coffee and cinnamon gaze could centre me, could bring me back to Earth. But right now, I knew it saw more than I wanted it to. I knew Nero could see my pain. He didn't say anything, just waited patiently. I wanted to change the subject, I wanted to forget for a moment my woes, but hadn't I come here for some guidance? I could hardly seek guidance if I didn't open my mouth.
I took a deep breath in. "I've done something. Something that is foreign to who I am. I don't know why and it scares me." Not to mention breaks my heart in two.
Nero leaned forward and placed a warm hand gently on my arm, making me raise my eyes to his. I saw compassion there, understanding. And surprisingly, forgiveness.
"Do you remember when I told you, that you would have to battle the Dark? More now than ever. We are Nut's Light, Kiwi, but that does not mean we can't be led occasionally, by the Dark. For
where there is Light, there is always Dark. And where there is Dark, there is always Light.
"
I didn't want what he was saying to make sense. Strange, but true. I had wanted answers, guidance, an explanation for what I had done. But I did not want absolution. Those images, those unwanted images, they had been from my memory, but I was not in control of them at all. Had they been controlled by the Dark?
Nero leaned back, releasing his hold on my arm. "Just because we can succumb to the Dark, does not mean we should." I flicked an uncertain gaze at Nero, he held mine without reproach, but with a steadfastness that said I wouldn't like what he was about to say. I lifted my chin to face his chastisement head on. I deserved it. He sighed and ran a hand through his spiky, short black hair. "You are so young, Kiwi. So new to all of this. Sometimes I forget. You show such maturity with what you have had to face. With the responsibilities that rest on your shoulders. It is unfortunate that this has happened, but maybe it is for the best. To truly face what lies ahead you will need to master the Dark. To be aware of it, but to not let it fully in."
I let his words slowly sink in. He was right. I had screwed up, I had let the Dark lead me astray. I had forgotten what I was. But I could face this hurdle one of two ways. I could let it drown me in guilt and regret and sorrow. I could let it win. Or, I could learn from my mistake. I could use it as a lesson and I could make sure it never happens again.
"Am I strong enough?" I said whisper-quiet to myself.
"Without a doubt," Nero replied, just as quietly.
I held his gaze then, saw the swirls of cinnamon and copper deep within the brown. Nero's eyes did ground me, did bring me back to Earth. But his words, his guidance, they were what settled my mind, helped create order in chaos. I had made a mistake, I knew this, I would not forget. But, I would not let it rule me. Michel may not be able to forgive my actions that easily, despite Erika saying he already had, but I would try to learn from this, to not let it steal any more of my Light.
But what of what Michel had done? "Michel set me up to fail." God, even saying those words aloud left me almost gagging with distaste.
"He is closer to the Dark than you, Kiwi. Without you leading him back towards the Light, he will find it easier to succumb." Then obviously seeing the look of incredulous disbelief on my face, he added, "Even your Michel is capable of mistakes. Of losing control of the Dark within. He is vampyre, Kiwi. He is the Dark."
How many times have I thought of vampires just like that? And how many times had I forgotten that Michel was one too? I had placed human conceptions on Michel. I had expected him to behave as I would want him to. But a vampire will do anything to survive, to retain their power. To Michel I am essential to his survival, I am the core of his power. His vampire-within would do anything to keep me close and maybe it saw the balancing of our relationship as essential to that end.
I wasn't sure if I had realigned my worries, sorted out the mess of my mind, but I did feel closer to acceptance. Of what I had done and why. Of what Michel had done in Paris and why. Even, if I am honest with myself, of what Michel had done sending me to Wellington and why he seeks to control my life. I may not like it, but I was beginning to understand it and with that, maybe accept it. I don't know, accepting control from Michel was still entirely too foreign. But, I was one step closer to the Light and that much further from the Dark after talking it through with Nero. I offered him the first genuine smile I had given since arriving in this Dream Walk. His returning smile was almost blinding.
Just then Amisi came back in the room, her arrival lifting the moment from the heaviness of Nero's and my conversation and placing it firmly back in the familiar territory of a friendly gathering. She was carrying a tray and the sweet smell of apple tea wafted towards me. I can't eat, when I'm Dream Walking, but I can drink. I'd only just realised this recently when I'd Dream Walked to Nero and found him having a cup of apple tea. It was just so divine smelling, that I had to try it when his back was turned and what do you know? I can drink tea when my body is asleep on the other side of the world. Go figure!
Amisi handed me a glass cup with no handle and sank into the cushions with practised ease. Amisi is all legs and long body, she's tall, way taller than me. Has long gorgeously black shiny hair and the sweetest smile, it just lights up her face and makes the brown of her eyes sparkle. She's a real sweetie, I wish I could see more of her.
Which made me think of something, the last vestiges of my current worries dissipating into the air. “Nero, have you got any spare Nosferatins around who would like a stint in Wellington? We've got a burgeoning population of vampires and no one to keep them in line. With that sort of action, humans are starting to notice.”
Picking up on the change of mood, Nero relaxed further into his cushions and answered, “That is not good, Kiwi. How have they been managing?”
“They haven't. But, I'm there right now, did a little hunting, tried to get things settled. It's going to take a certain amount of to-ing and fro-ing and the more I'm away from Auckland, the more chance of a vampire striking and getting away with it. I can't be in two places at once, I need to send the word out there's a new city on the books.”
“Yes, you need to advertise.” Yeah. If only we had a gazette or something, that would be grand.
“What about me?” That was from Amisi. I turned to look at her, but picked up the rigid set of Nero's shoulders. He wasn't happy with that suggestion.
“Not yet, Amisi.”
“I'm ready. You said so yourself. It's time for me to spread my wings.” She looked at me pointedly and said, “His words, not mine.”
I glanced at Nero, he cringed.
“Well?” she said, not dropping it. I had the feeling Amisi could be quite determined when she wanted to be. I wondered how Nero handled that.
He flicked a glance at me. “She is cast in the same mould as you, Kiwi. Both of you are impossible to deal with.”
I smiled, so did Amisi. I could handle impossible.
“You know...” I said before sipping my tea to add emphasis. “If Amisi wants to branch out a bit, she could come visit me in Auckland. Kind of like a vampire hunter sabbatical. If she handles the culture shock well, then you know she's ready and if she doesn't...” I shrugged, took another sip. “No harm, no foul.”
Nero just glared at me, I got the distinct impression he wished to tan my hide right at that moment, it almost made me blink. But Amisi was jumping up and down on the cushions, like an over excited little puppy.
“Please, Nero, please. Please let me go to Lucinda's, she'll take care of me, you know she will and I can prove to you both I am ready.”
Nero looked like a man drowning, being ganged up on by the two most determined Nosferatins in his life.
He sighed. “I will talk to Nafrini.” He raised his hand at Amisi's squeal and my fist punch. “But, this does not mean you can move to Wellington and become their Nosferatin. That, is a decision only your parents can make.”
“She's nineteen, Nero, surely she gets some say.”
Nero just looked at me, head cocked slightly to the side. “This is Egypt, Kiwi, the land of Nut. Amisi is a precious child of our mother goddess, her parents would have to be involved in the decision, at least until she is 25.”
Whoa doggy. Culture shock, here she comes.
And just like that, I felt myself back on an even keel. Family doesn't have to be blood, it's where your heart is. I loved these two Nosferatins very much. They held my heart, soothed my soul and settled my mind.
I stayed another hour, talking, laughing, forgetting my worries in the closeness of friends. I don't know what I'd do without Nero. Not only has he become my Nosferatin trainer, the source of all knowledge when it comes to Nosferatin mumbo jumbo, but he has also become a friend. A very close friend. Sometimes I think he knows me better than I know myself. He is my lighthouse on a stormy sea-tossed night, my rock. He grounds me, he brings me focus, he guides me home.
The fact that I can visit him when I need to is more priceless than anything else in this world. Right now I needed his strength, his support. I would have to ultimately deal with this myself, in my own time, but without Nero's guidance I don't think it would have been possible at all.
I hugged them both goodbye once the apple tea had been well and truly consumed and fell back through the nothingness to my body at Gregor's. I half expected to see him hovering, watching me, but he had left me alone as promised and I let a breath out in relief. I could feel the night approaching. Like a vampire, I have a sense of its closeness. Maybe because of the time I spend with them, maybe because I'm a Nosferatin and the sense I get when nightfall comes is a little foreboding. The creatures of the night are about to stir, my work may well begin before long. Either way, I knew I had about half an hour before the shutters would raise and the stars would be out.
I quickly freshened up in the bathroom, made sure my bag was packed and took a deep breath in before facing the two vampires I could feel in the lounge. This was not going to be fun.
Erika was sitting in a chair, spinning her sword, hilt in her palm, blade straight up in the air, the lights of the room glinting on the steel as it danced on her hand. Gregor was sitting on a chair reading a book. It momentarily shocked me, I didn't picture him as a book reader, but there you go. I couldn't pick out the title, he placed the book face down, with a bookmark, on the table next to him as soon as I entered the room and just watched me for a while.
“Are you hungry? Would you like something to eat,
ma cherie
?”
I shook my head, food was the last thing on my mind. Damn, I wished those shutters would rise up already. I should have stayed in the bedroom a little longer, waited until I heard that blissful sound of freedom as they whirred away to reveal the night.
“I have called more of my line to me, they will arrive over the next few days. I think we will have to take a proactive stance against the humans, this is escalating too quickly and needs to be shut down.” He seemed to want to talk business, keeping things professional. I could handle that. I wondered briefly, if he was doing it for my benefit.
“Proactive? Just what do you consider to be proactive, Gregor?” I couldn't stand the thought of more humans dying, even if they were way out of line and trying to kill the vampires, it still didn't feel right. I had walked to a chair near him without realising and once there couldn't think of a casual way to move away, so just sat down, crossed my legs and braced myself as I met his eyes.
He was wearing his vampire mask, no emotions visible, his grey eyes only showing a hint of silver, nothing more. He was doing his best not to scare me. I couldn't help feeling thankful. Gregor was a lot of things, but occasionally he could play the gentleman well. I just wished I could tell what was real and what was an act.
“I will not stand by and watch my vampires die because of some misguided human fear and anarchy.” He spoke the words softly, no obvious anger or threat, simply a statement of fact.
I understood what he was saying, how could a vampire not retaliate? How could they not do everything in their power to protect those they are honour bound, blood bound, to protect?
“Will you promise me one thing?” I looked him directly in the eye, this request required courage, it deserved respect. He deserved respect when I asked it of him, as Master of the City.
“Ask and I will answer honestly.”
I sat there for a moment and just breathed. Vampires are not known for their ability to pull punches, they live for confrontation, for the chance to dominate, but if there was any chance of this not becoming a human massacre, I needed to ask.
“Will you try to find a solution that does not involve death? Will you try to negotiate an understanding?”
He looked at me for a moment, no emotions on his face, just vampire neutral.
“I will promise you this, little Hunter, I will endeavour to avoid bloodshed as much as is possible without endangering my kin, but I will not negotiate with humans.”
He said it like humans didn't deserve that right of equality. After the way humans had been acting in this city, I really couldn't blame him for that response, but it didn't feel like he was just referring to the humans who had attacked his line, but to
all
humans. The reminder that vampires are at the top of the food chain hit me like a slap in the face.
Why is it that I always lower my guard around them and fall into the trap of believing them capable of coexisting with humans on an equal footing? You'd think I'd know better by now.
I didn't say anything in reply, just then the shutters whirred into action and rose up and away out of sight, displaying a beautiful clear starry night out of the windows of Gregor's apartment. I was on my feet and walking to the door in an instant.
“Lucinda.”
Gregor's voice was soft, but commanding. I didn't want to turn around, I didn't want to hear what he had to say, but I was trying to be an adult and ignoring him just didn't feel very grown up at all. I turned slowly willing my face not to show any emotions.
“Would you mind leaving us for a moment, Erika?” That surprised me, him asking her, not glazing, not commanding as the Master of the City. I flicked a glance at Erika, she raised her eyebrows at me, looking for consent. I just nodded and she grabbed her bag and walked out the front door, no doubt to stand on the other side and wait.
Gregor didn't say anything for a few seconds, just looked at me, his implacable mask on his face.
“What do you want, Gregor?” I just sounded tired, not strong and capable, but tired. Tired of this mess, tired of my inability to do the right thing, tired of the mistakes. I forced myself to stand straighter, taller. If I was to learn from any of this, I had to step up to the plate and accept what had happened with broad shoulders.
“I do not regret today, I will treasure it, hold it close to my heart for eternity. And I will not stop pursuing you either. You know what I want and I always get what I want, Lucinda.”
I let a long breath out that I had been holding and just looked at him. We were right back at square one, just as I had suspected. The challenge may be over, it may have been met, Gregor the victor, but he did not consider himself a winner, not yet, not until he had all of me. Controlled all of me. I didn't want this man before me. I didn't want to want him either. But I was still unsure if I was strong enough to ignore the pull of the
Sigillums.
I did want Michel though. Despite what he had done, despite how close to the Dark he is. I still wanted him, but should I give in to him?
To give in would be physically easy, natural even, but it would be mentally and emotionally suicidal. Michel would hide me away, making it impossible to fight. He was potentially dangerous to the outcome of the war. I couldn't afford to let him distract me from my path.
All of this was fairly moot though really. Even if I had managed to come to some tentative understanding and acceptance of Michel's Dark within, of what has made him act the way he has, he would surely not be able to forgive me. I forced myself to focus on the vampire in front of me and push all thoughts of the complicated relationship I had with the vampire in my heart away.
“I would ask you to back off, for me, but I don't think you would comply.”
He just shook his head, a small measure of pain and sadness now reaching the corner of his eyes. “I am unable to,
ma cherie
.”
“Then, you do what you have to do, Gregor, and I will do what I have to do. And may God forgive us, for whatever happens.”
I turned and walked out the front door, heading straight for his car. Erika and I stood next to it quietly for five minutes, before Gregor finally joined us, opening the car with the press of his electronic key and slipping in the driver's side. I smiled, at least I had stopped him from opening the door for me, but I knew it was only a temporary reprieve, Gregor didn't give up that easily.
He drove directly to the airport, but didn't wait for us to board. He said a simple goodbye, only briefly catching my eyes and then sped away. I didn't feel sad, I didn't feel regret, I just felt relieved. I felt a little of me returning, a little of the fighter coming back. So, I had fucked up royally in the past twenty four hours, sue me, I'm only human and I'm about to take part in a war. I deserve a few mistakes along the way, but I wasn't going to let any more happen. I'd learned my lesson, I'd let the Dark in when I should have been strong enough to say no. But it was time to move on.
The flight home was quiet, we watched a couple of old episodes of
True Blood
. Can't help laughing at the entertainment industry's interpretation of the fanged. It always lifts your spirits. Both Erika and I hurling insults at the flat screen. It was cathartic, I have to admit.
I drove us back to
Sensations
after we landed and although it was the first time I had driven the BMW, it felt like home. Michel had chosen well, the car fitted like a glove and brought out the inner hunter in me. I gunned it along the Southern Motorway, managing to avoid a speeding ticket and made it to the city in record time. I dropped Erika at the front of the club, a queue already lining the pavement.
“You not coming in,
chica
?”
“No, need some home time. Washing, you know, domestic crap.”
She nodded, she knew I was avoiding Michel, but she didn't push.
“You need anything, another
True Blood
fest, just call, OK?”
I smiled and nodded in return and then pulled the car into the K Road traffic, heading towards St. Mary's Bay and my sanctuary. I couldn't wait to get home. It felt like an eternity since I had been alone there. I was craving a coffee, not only the taste of my current Arabica obsession, but the routine of filling the bean hopper, watching the beans grind and smelling the infusion of caffeine through the air as thick, dark, liquid gold poured into a cup. Then topping it with the fluffiest, whitest milk. Perfection awaited, so I didn't delay.
I parked in a free parking space on the property. Our building was lucky, we had off-street car parking, but not garaging. I momentarily paused by my car, hoping my new baby would be safe out in the cold. I shook my head, I was becoming attached to a bloody car after only one drive.
The place seemed quieter than usual, but it was fairly late, after midnight, so maybe my neighbours were all having early Sunday nights, back to work tomorrow, gotta be prepared.
I had just made it past Mrs Cumberland's, her curtains drawn, light shining through from behind, but no T.V. to be heard, which was a little strange, when I sensed it. I don't know what, but the hair on the back of my neck lifted, like hackles and I immediately slipped my stake out of its pocket. It wasn't vampires, so the stake would probably be a waste of time, but it was something that set my internal warning bells off. And they were clanging.
I glanced around at the bushes that bordered our property, but nothing seemed amiss. I even sniffed the air, which until recently had made me shiver in discomfort whenever I felt the urge to smell, but it didn't faze me now. Determining what was making me jumpy was more important. I couldn't tell what it was so I continued on to my apartment.
I noticed the door first, it was hanging off its hinges, no lights were on inside, but the external sensor lights, which had flicked on as I approached, shone through the shattered windows illuminating the room within. I took a sharp breath in at the destruction and then was instantly surrounded by vampires.
“It has only just happened,” Michel said quietly behind me. “Secure the building and land,” he commanded his vampires and they flashed to various places around the property. Bruno streaking inside my apartment to assess the threat.
I stood still while the movement of the vampires swirled around the periphery, numbed by the violation to my home, my sanctuary, my refuge. Bruno came out and announced it was all clear and I shot inside to inspect the damage.
Nothing was left to salvage. My cream sofa was a ripped-stuffing explosion of broken pieces, my dining suite just tinder. My coffee machine, oh hell, my
Saeco Royal Professional
cost-me-a-month's-salary coffee machine was in pieces on the bench, as though someone had taken delight in dismantling it and crushing each individual piece. I couldn't even cry. I turned numbly to my bedroom, noticing Michel was watching me quietly from the door, just inside the threshold, but not daring to come closer. My bedroom was just as bad, the bedding shredded, the frame destroyed and my laptop; little teeny tiny pieces of electronics scattered on the floor. Above my bedhead was a long series of slashes. Claw marks, definitely claw marks.