Forbidden Love: Fate (Zac and Ivy Trilogy Book 1) (28 page)

Please trust me, please trust in me.

Even if the world would shatter,

If you lay your hands in mine,

I will never, will never let you go.

It’s because I love only you.

Zac, he’s singing that song to me. He’s
singing that song to me. How could I not realize it? The first part
of the song, he said it was since he first saw me, when he first
kissed me. Zac once told me he had his first kiss stolen the night
of the music festival. He said that was his first kiss.

So it is me. I’m the one he loves. That’s
what Zac meant when he whispered into my ear. He wanted to give me
this song. And the part he sang that he can’t control his fate,
that he can’t decide who his family is, he’s actually talking about
Dillon.

Oh God, please help me. I’m being torn
apart. There’s my love for Zac and the confession he sings to me.
Then there’s the reality of this world. Would it be fair to love
someone who’s related to the person responsible for destroying my
family’s life? If I weren’t involved in this party, what would my
answer be?

When you cry, I want to hug you,

I want to tell you that I love you.

But I can’t and can only hold on to your
hand,

And tell you everything will be fine.

“Ivy, are you okay? Why are you crying?”

I can hear Mandy asking me this, shaking my
arm. But I’m in too deep. I’m sucked into his voice, into his song,
into his soul, baring for all to see the emotion that is so
blatantly displayed on my face. He’s singing this song to me. I’m
that girl he loves.

Suddenly, memories flip through my mind like
photographs, replaying in my head, echoing inside my heart.

“
Are you cold? Your hands are
shaking.”

It was at the hospital. He was worried about
me. That’s why he held on to my hands, to comfort me.

“
Just a song I practiced. I want to sing
it to this girl when she becomes my girlfriend.”

Zac said this to us when we were in the car.
He wanted to sing that song to me too.

“
You seriously look beautiful, Ivy. I
would really like a girl like you to be my girlfriend.”

Zac said this to me when he was in my
changing room. He was hugging me from behind, his hands embracing
my body, while he rested his chin on my head.

Oh God, oh God. Please help me. Why didn’t I
see all of the signs? He’s been hinting at me from the very
beginning. Zac loves me. He loves me.

I come out of my memory as Zac’s voice
penetrates my soul again.

Another piece of the lyrics strikes me, and
I stare at him, more tears crawling down my cheeks.

Even if volcanoes were to erupt and
earthquakes strike

I won’t, I won’t ever let your hand go.

Because, because I love you,

Because I love only you.

I want us to trust each other,

And fight this obstacle together.

So please trust me, please trust in me,

Even if the world would shatter,

If you lay your hands in mine,

I will never, will never let you go,

Because I love only you.

Oh, Zac. I love you. I love you too.

I want to scream out to him, run up to him
onstage and kiss him and tell him this, over and over again, until
my heart is whole again, until it stops bleeding and starts beating
with life again.

But I can’t. How can I when my family has
suffered so much at the hands of his brother? If they know,
disaster would strike. I can’t choose Zac over my family. But the
more I listen to his song, the more my heart bleeds.

I can’t take this anymore. It’s all too
painful. I can’t bear seeing Zac cry his heart out with this song.
I can’t face Zac after he finishes this song. Because I know if he
confesses to me in front of everyone here, I will say yes. I will
be selfish and forget all about my family’s suffering just to be
next to him, just so my heart could smile again. But I know I can’t
do this. So I do the only thing I am good at.

I flee.

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

ZAC

Will You Love Me Today?

My finger is bleeding again and a throbbing
pain shoots through to my nerves, drumming through my blood, and
ripping to the inner core of my heart, yet I feel numbed all over.
I’m crying like a baby with tears crawling silently down my cheeks,
but I don’t care. All my thoughts and concentration are focused on
singing this song, on transmitting this message to Ivy so she might
understand it’s her that I’ve loved all along.

Ivy, this song is for you. This song is my
confession to you. I am very bad with words. Every time we speak, I
either make you mad or cry. I can’t say anything right in front of
you. So please, listen and understand this song is my love
confession that I wrote only for you.

Please understand I can’t choose who I am
born with or who I am related to. But the one thing I can choose
from now on is the direction of my future. And I choose you.

I choose you, Ivy. Despite knowing there
will be obstacles I must face, I am not afraid, because if only I
have your love, I can do anything.

I can walk through a bridge of fire to get
to you. I can swim across the Pacific Ocean just to see you on the
other side of the world. I am prepared for whatever comes our way,
Ivy, so if you choose me, then I can do anything.

I watch Ivy as she stands up with tears also
in her eyes, her lips quivering, her tears begging for me to stop
playing this song. But I won’t stop. I will not stop until Ivy
understands I love her.

Ivy. Do you feel the same as me? Is that why
you’re crying too?

A little bit of my heart swells up with
happiness as that thought processes through my mind, but it’s
immediately ripped away again when I see Ivy running out of the
auditorium, clutching her chest.

Ivy!

No, no, no.
I scream inside my head.
I drop my guitar and race after her, ignoring all the commotion
from the crowd below. A few times I get dragged back by one of the
screaming girls, but I wedge my way through and fight them off.
Once free, I race after Ivy again.

I don’t care that I didn’t get to finish the
song. I don’t care if there’ll be news about me tomorrow on the
school blog because of this. All I care about right now is Ivy.
I’ve got to catch her and explain everything.

It’s raining heavily outside. The rain pelts
my skin, searing it raw. The wind blasts my face, sending my hair
into disarray. It’s like the weather is a reflection of my inner
soul. Inside, I’m bleeding and crying. But despite this cold
weather, nothing could stop my limbs from pursuing Ivy.

Where did she go? Where did she hide? I
must find her at all cost.
My heart panics when I can’t find
her within the vicinity.
Did she go home already? She must be
freezing.

The wind is at its strongest now, blowing
icy air onto my face. I feel pain again. It’s like the prospect of
not being able to see Ivy again has paralyzed half my body and I
can’t move.

Will this be the end for us?
I find
myself asking time and time again when I can’t find her anywhere.
But I don’t want to give up. I don’t want to wait for another day
to confront her. It must be today. I don’t think I can endure this
pain in my heart any longer if I don’t get an answer from her.

“Ivy, where are you?” I shout into the dark
night as my last resort. “Please come out. Ivy. Please.”

There’s no response. I don’t give up, but
continue to call out and search for her, my clothing now drenched
from the onslaught of rain.

My eyes adjust to the semi darkness the
streetlights provide, and there, huddled in the shadow, is Ivy,
shaded from the beating rain under a veranda of one of the
shops.

“Ivy,” I call out to her, rushing to her
side.

Upon hearing her name, Ivy turns her face to
me and once she sees me, she flees again. But I’m faster. I catch
her arm, pulling her cold body into mine, hugging her back to my
chest.

“Please, stop running away from me,” I beg
her, my arm enveloping her, holding her wet body close to mine as
if to reassure my heart that Ivy is still here, that Ivy is beside
me.

“Zac, please, let me go. We don’t belong
together.” She begs me, struggling within my arms, her voice
choking with tears.

“We belong together,” I tell her repeatedly,
nestling my head on her shoulder. “There’s nothing in this world
that could stop our love. I love you, Ivy. I love you. I should
have told you from the very beginning. I’m sorry. I wanted to be
your boyfriend from the very beginning, but I was scared you might
reject me. So I planned to become your friend first. Please, Ivy.
There’s not even a day that I don’t think of you. Please, don’t run
away from me anymore. I want you. I need you. I love you. I don’t
think I can take it if you run away from me again. I think I might
die if you’re not here beside me.”

“Zac.” Ivy clings onto my arms that encircle
her. Her body trembles and shakes as she speaks. “Zac. You don’t
understand. You don’t understand.”

“Ivy.” I turn her around and pull her close
to my chest, warming her up with my heat. “Listen to me, Ivy.” I
pull aside the wet strands that are plastered onto her face. “I
understand perfectly, Ivy. I understand where you’re coming from.
You’ve been hurt. I know. But I’m here now. The past between my
brother and your family, can’t we forget about it? This is about
us. I love you. I want to be with you. Can’t you give me this
chance?”

“But I can’t love you, Zac. I can’t.”

“Please, Ivy. Don’t think what people think
or what the future will hold or what obstacles we’ll have to face
to be together. Listen to your heart, Ivy. What does it say? Who
does it beat for? Because for me, Ivy, my heart beats for you. Each
day I wake up, it beats for you.”

“Zac… I… I…” She shakes her head and hugs me
tighter, not able to say those words out loud. I hug her back,
comforting her, knowing I’m asking her the ultimate decision that
would change the course of her life.

Ivy doesn’t say anything more, but continues
to cry into my shoulder. I hug her close and kiss her wet hair for
some time until she calms down. Then I whisper into her hair, “I
love you, Ivy. Please let me be the one to heal you.” I pull her
back.

Ivy gazes at me with her misty eyes, not
sure of what I mean.

I repeat my sentiment again. “I know my
brother is the one that caused you this pain. So please, let me be
the one that will heal you.”

I pull her long-sleeved dress up to reveal
her wrist. I press my lips to her scarred wrist. Then I part her
hair to reveal her forehead. At the junction of the scar, I plant a
kiss. I rest my forehead on hers then, and now we’re eye to eye.
With tears threatening to blur my vision again, I whisper softly to
her, “I love you, Ivy. Please let me be the one to heal you.”

Ivy stares at me, glistening tears like
diamond jewels decorating the corners of her eyes. Then with a soft
whisper and a strained voice, she speaks, “Zac. We are so young.
How do you know in ten years or twenty years time you’ll still want
to be with me? The feud and hatred between our two families is too
large. We are not meant to be together.”

“I don’t care about the feud between our
families. All I know is I must answer my heart. My heart needs you,
Ivy. And I don’t know what the future will hold for us either, but
what I ask of you is only this.” I tell her this, my palm holding
her face gently to relay my message. “Will you love me today?
Because right now, when you say you love me, that’s all that
matters. Tomorrow, when tomorrow comes, we will deal with it
together. So if you love me today, I will promise you I will look
after you and won’t ever let anyone hurt you. Not my brother, not
anyone. And if you’re scared when tomorrow comes and my heart
wavers, then I will ask you again. Will you love me today? Every
day I will ask you, until you know I love only you and will never
stop loving you.”

“Zac,” she cries, hugging me again. “I’ve
never been in love, but if feeling like I’m going to die and can’t
breathe when you’re not around is it, then this must be love.
Because I can’t breathe when you’re not here. I love you, Zac. I
love you.” Ivy places the palm of her hand on my cheek, holding me
close to her. She looks into my eyes. “Ask me today if I love you,
and I will say I love you. Tomorrow, if you ask me, I will still
say I love you.” Then she brings her lips forward and seals them to
mine, kissing me, sealing the promise we’ve made.

After Ivy pulls back, exhausted from the
heat of the moment, I hug her, holding on to her, providing her
with the support she needs to hold on, to stand.

Ivy continues to embrace me as the rain
continues to pelt around us. I’m oblivious to this, feeling only
the warm body that embraces me close. I smile and look heavenward,
feeling like I’m alive again.

Thank you, God, thank you so much for
allowing us to be together.

EPILOGUE

IVY

Close Comfort

On nights like these, when the rain is
beating heavily outside the window and the wind howls like little
lost souls, I huddled myself close to the burning fire and read the
Falling for Sakura
series by my favorite author, Alexia
Praks. I digested the strength from Sakura, the main protagonist of
the story. From it, I learned to live, to enjoy life and fight
those obstacles by myself, standing proudly alone in this
world.

That was my comfort back then. Now my
comfort comes in the form of something else. My comfort comes from
the body that hugs me close from behind. A warm mug, a close body
circling me loosely, making my cold heart warm up in a
heartbeat.