Forbidden To Love (The Erosians) (5 page)

I
’m almost positive he’s working for Amora to humiliate me. Amora has hated me since I was created and she’s spent the length of my life finding new ways to make me miserable. This must be her latest idea.

This is the sort of thing she’d do. With her matchless beauty,  she can talk any man, woman or immortal into doing just about anything she desires. On the rare occasions she can’t, well, Aphrodite is her biggest fan, so she always lends her her cestus to use on those needing extra persuasion.

Josh appears pretty pleased with himself. Perhaps she isn
’t the one behind this; perhaps Josh is and he has been using her to get information on me.

For all,  I know Josh's creation could have happened before Amora  - maybe even before Allana. After all the only information given to me is what is deemed necessary for me to know. That
’s their explanation anyway. I know there is so much more that they are all hiding from me. Maybe Josh is a part of the nest of secrets. He would need to be an Erosian and a pretty advanced one; if he’s planted the idea of my being attracted to him in my head,  which would explain, why my day has been totally messed up.

Well, he
’s played with me long enough, and I'm not going to stand here and act stupidly any longer.                                          “I know what you are, Josh, and that’s probably not even your name. I know you know I'm not interested in Keagan, and you know that I know you caused all this drama today by doing your special mind trick. Let me guess, you’re Amora’s latest toy, and you’re doing this together as a practical joke.”

I rush my first theory out in one breath, not wanting to give him a chance to interrupt me. If he denies that one, I
’ll go for him being older than Allana.

I stand as still as I can; trying my best to keep my nerve while my chest rises and falls at a rapid pace, betraying my attempt at a calm exterior. I try pointlessly to simmer the anger that is rising within me. I may be younger than Amora, but that doesn
’t mean she can amuse herself at my expense like this. Josh’s air of confident arrogance gives way to confusion, “Who’s Amora?” Oh no, he’s dumbfounded. My anger turns to ice.

“
And what mind trick can I do, and, for that matter, what drama?”

Oh crap, the expression on his face flickers between confusion, annoyance and expectation. I
’m wrong, and now I ensured more attention will be focused on me than ever before. Allana is going to kill me. I don’t know what to say, but that doesn’t matter; Josh hasn’t finished.

“
You call being approached in the hall and being asked if you were ok drama. You clearly aren’t from around here, are you?” He doesn’t give me chance to answer. “Don’t worry; from now on I’ll stay well away.” He examines me once more and shakes his head. “I’m not even sure why I bothered to come to talk to you in the first place. I guess what everyone says about you is true.” He walks backwards away from me shaking his head in disappointment. With one final glare at me, me, he takes off out of the school and out of my dreams.

D
amnation?

~3~

How am I supposed to explain to Allana what I’ve done? Why was I so stupid almost telling a mortal what I am! I’m drowning in regret for betraying Allana like this; after all the sacrifices she’s made for me.

At the time of my creation, Allana had already been suffering from over a century of abuse from Eros. Unlike Amora and me; Zeus had Allana created to be in love with Eros, which meant no matter how horrible he was to her, or how many times he told her that he didn't want her, she would still follow him to the ends of the earth - literally. Allana is so gentle and kind and holds no grudge against me, unlike Amora, even though we are all each other
’s unwilling rivals.

I glance to the clock on the dash where the digital number is turning into a nine; I
’ve been sitting here for thirty-six minutes and I can’t sit in my drive for much longer watching the numbers tick by. Putting the confession off isn’t going to make explaining easier but every time I think about how best to go about admitting what I’ve done, the empty look Josh gave me when he shook his head and walked away from me  reappears in my mind; his behaviour was  dismissive,  final.

Worse than the image was when part of my body tried to lunge after him. I honestly thought my heart was going to break through my ribcage, just to get closer to him.

He’s doing all this to you, the rational side of my brain tries to tell me, but I can’t imagine this all being an act to be true. Guess he could be a brilliant actor.

Most Gods do possess some theatrical talent or his confusion and anger could because I
’d figured out his game earlier than planned and he will be in a world of trouble when Amora gets hold of him.

The two of them having this secret agreement seems more and more plausible. More plausible than the alternative; my
‘other half’ has appeared before me. No way in hell Zeus would commission a mortal to be created for me to love. My union in love would result in all kinds of misery.

A barrage of leaves thuds against my windshield, bringing me back to the real world. Fall is nearly here and so is Eros
’ one year deadline. The wind continues to drag the leaves from their branches, turning the driveway into a carpet of gold flecked with deep ambers and rusty oranges. I stare up at the only home I’ve ever known. The house isn’t vast and appears the same as all the other white wooden boarded houses on this street.

This part of town is all pretty similar in appearance. There are loads of groups of houses like this one dotted near the coast, all of them are slowly being suffocated by a salty air that gets thicker everywhere morning.

I can’t put telling Allana off any longer. If I'm using the weather for a distraction, I'm truly out of options.

Trudging through the thickening blanket of leaves to the front door I try to keep my hands on my bag and coat as I take a battering from the sporadic gusts. How has the weather turned so quickly? I can
’t believe I was bathing in the sun only hours ago. But then nothing has been the same since I saw him.

“
Hello”

There
’s no response from anywhere in the house. Dropping my bag, I go to the fridge to grab my elixir, the only thing I eat or drink while I'm here. Back in Olympus I can enjoy normal stuff, but if I taste food here the texture is like cardboard. The elixir is more than enough to keep us sustained anyway. The gorgeous golden liquid tastes like a honey smoothie which should be as calorific as double chocolate fudge cake topped with fudge sauce and served with a bucket of ice cream!

I perch myself at the breakfast bar. If I go upstairs to my room to wait for Allana to come home; there
’s a chance I’ll never come down and confess to what I’ve done. I stare out of the window onto the back yard. The stretch of lawn grows into the few trees at the back.

They quickly morph into characters from my day and become the stage for my latest encounter with Josh. I
’m forced into a front row seat for a play I never bought tickets for. Seeing the performance a second time round; I figure the most likely explanation is that he’s angry about blowing his cover because I found him out so quickly. But if I'm not that lucky; then he doesn’t know Amora or what I am and isn’t one of us.

The
‘what ifs’ are starting to weigh me down; I drop my head to the table totally confused. If the latter is true, then the only person who has ever tried to make any sort of relationship with me now thinks I'm a nutcase. But if the former is true, I’m the centre of some cruel joke I don’t know the punch line to; and there’s a new God to figure out, who has coincidentally emerged as Eros's one year deadline gets closer.             

My second explanation has to be right, he isn
’t a God. Surely if, he were, Allana would’ve told me about him, especially if he was going to appear at the same school I'm working in. Allana would have had to have shown him the ropes as she did with Amora and me, unless I was right and he was made before even Allana was.

There would be no sense in having a male Erosian created. Allana, Amora and I were only created to try to stop Eros from causing devastation in the mortal world.

I'm told Zeus honestly did try every way he could think of to stop Eros from behaving so wildly, but Eros was hurt he’d messed up his relationship with his true love and so he really went with the notion; ‘If I can’t experience love, no one can’.

The mortal divorce rate went through the roof in those years! More dangerous than the world becoming a loveless hell were the crimes of passion that were committed.
A lot of blood was shed.

Allana told me Zeus ignored Eros
’s rampage to begin with. He hoped Eros only had to work the anger out of his system, but after the first drop of human blood he had to do something. The mortals are Zeus’ and he wasn’t going to stand back and watch them rip each other apart.

He couldn
’t kill Eros or send him away because Zeus’ daughter, Aphrodite wouldn’t give permission for the death of her son. Zeus instead had Prometheus create Allana in the hope she would pacify Eros’ anger. Theoretically the plan was plausible. Allana is beautiful and is an exact copy of Pscyhe, the love Eros gave up. She even loved Eros in the same unconditional way Psyche did.

But Eros wouldn
’t settle for a fake, and he hated Allana from the second he saw her. Zeus urged Eros to try with Allana, to give love a chance to develop. Reluctantly he did, but only because Zeus promised he would give him his true love in return. Allana and Eros spent years roaming the earth together starting romances, and they became close, brother and sister close.

I'm told Eros came to Zeus one night unable to stand being apart from Psyche any longer and begged Zeus to give her to him. Their reunion was never to be; Eros had joined Psyche to her husband all those years ago under the instruction of his mother and their bond was only breakable through death. Zeus couldn
’t justify killing one of his subjects for the selfish reasons of a God, especially when the God requesting the murder was the one to blame.

Instead he had Prometheus create Amora; the most breathtaking creature since Helen of Troy, in the hope Eros, would be so astounded by her beauty he would fall instantly in love with her. Amora
’s unimaginable attractiveness didn't work either. Luckily for me, or I wouldn’t exist.

Amora didn't take the rejection quite as well as Allana. She became bitter and resentful, and threw herself at any male, mortal or otherwise, who would take her and she also hates me because I was made because she failed. I am a constant reminder not every man finds her irresistible.

“Hey when did you sneak in?” I'm so involved in my history I didn't hear Allana coming in.

“
I don’t know. What time is it?” Allana jumps onto the stool next to me. She’s got her businesswoman attire on, the cream wrap around shirt and dark brown trousers. With her jet black hair cut short into a crop, she should appear harsh and severe, but her thick eyelashes flutter like butterflies presenting her true kindness and grace. I guess she’s like a nice aunt who you can pour your heart out to.

“
Just after four, you ok?” she stares at me with a probing expression as if she can see something I'm desperately trying to mask, which I am because I don’t know how to tell her about what’s happened.

“
I'm fine. I’ve only be home half an hour. Where you been?” I ask to try desperately to divert attention from me.

“
Coffee House,” she announces proudly. “I always enjoy hooking up people in coffee shops. I love the glances across the room, the 'Will he come to me, should I go to him?' dilemma. Watching them helps kill the time. Now stop trying to change the subject - what’s wrong?”

I should have known there would be no chance of keeping my dilemma hidden from Allana. Now Amora, she
’s so self-obsessed she wouldn’t pay attention even if I’d suddenly sprouted another head, unless it had a prettier face than hers.

Allana is still staring at me. I know I can do this the long dragged-out way where I come to her in a few hours and confess all, or I can come clean now.

“I think I told someone what we are.” I force the words from my lips and instantly wish I could ram them all back in. Sitting sheepishly I wait for her reproach, not that I’ve ever witnessed Allana mad, but if I remember correctly from training,  one thing she told me never to do was to reveal what we are. She warned me that if I gave away our secret, then I’d be brought before the Board of the Fates - or worse the wrath of the Furies! If I’m ever going to see Allana mad now’s the time.

Allana stays quiet. She looks at me patiently, waiting for me to continue with the story. I match her silence, not sure which bit to tell her first. She raises her eyebrows telling me to start.

“Well … I saw this guy …, and I was scanning for auras, to make matches… and I stopped on him because there was no aura … and I walked over to him, not because I wanted to talk to him but because I wanted to check he definitely didn’t possess an aura. I thought maybe the sun was perhaps masking his aura. I walked over to him and ended up staring, and he saw I was staring, so I ran off and he came to talk to me in the hall. I couldn’t stop thinking about him, so I confronted him when he came to find me again, and