I recoiled before it could strangle me. Another eight or more legs kept it anchored to the suddenly shifting ground.
Or were those my knees shaking hard enough to upset my balance?
“Mind if we pay a visit?” I asked.
The beak snapped once, hard enough to break my body in two if it chose.
I accepted that as a yes, and stepped around the beast—I didn’t want to chance it changing its mind and grabbing me with one or more of those tentacles. With one deep breath for false courage I grabbed the lion’s head door knocker and let it drop. I wished I had some scotch to help with the courage thing. It didn’t have to be single malt. A cheap blend would do better; I could drink more of it faster.
A loud bong resounded around the chat room, bouncing off walls that shouldn’t exist, compounding with each repeat of sound. Tsunamis of noise built and echoed. The bong grew louder yet, more insistent.
I had to grab my ears. Then I collapsed to my knees and shrank within myself.
Still, the knocker flapped and boomed and let the entire Universe know that someone had the audacity to approach the Powers That Be without an invitation.
That’s me, Tess Noncoiré, Warrior of the Celestial Blade, who bounds in where no one else dares, and bullys my way through.
Chapter 1
Forest Park in Portland, Oregon, was established in 1898, has 5156 acres, a hundred types of birds, sixty (known) species of animals, seventy miles of trails, and is the largest naturally forested area within the city limits of any municipality in the US. It is the third largest city park in the country.
S
TINKY, STINKY. I smell demon-inky.
Demon and baby poop.
If demons are breeding I need to follow my cute little nose and find them so my dahling Tess can wipe them out. After I find some bleach to clean up after them.
Screaming draws my attention along my line of smell. This is sounding ominous. My spine shivers and stretches. I need to transform into the Celestial Blade. Where is Tess when I need her?
Off to a fencing tournament so she can avoid work.
I’ll gather information before I summon her to my side. Then the two of us can lash and lunge, slice and stab. Such a wonderful way to end the domination of a demon.
My nose leads me to a strange room within a hospital. Locked doors that need codes to get in or out. Triple locks on the drug stashes that are carefully disguised behind normal cupboard doors. Casually clad nurses dash about, converging on a gurney where a hysterical woman thrashes about, trying to push away the newborn baby on her tummy. But her hands are lashed to the sides of the portable bed with thick layers of bandage so she can’t reject her child.
The child looks human. But it stinks of demon, demon laced with astringent pinesap.
A bit of scaly bark clings to the baby’s feet. His (oh, yes, he is male) fingers look a bit like twigs, too long and skinny for such a tiny morsel of life.
Even as I watch the abnormalities fade along with the demon stink. Just an afterthought of pine cleaner, that might be part and parcel of a hospital, clings to him.
The woman still screams. A doctor in blue surgical scrubs approaches with a big syringe hidden behind his back. “Hold her arm, Nurse,” he commands in that all too calm and soothing voice of one who has dealt with this before.
“Third case this year,” the squarely built nurse with disastrous blunt cut hair mutters. She too wears blue scrubs. “This is looking like a new postpartum syndrome.”
“Strange one. I wonder what triggers it,” the doctor says as he stabs the patient with the syringe and depresses the plunger. “I think I need to research a new paper.”
I’ve found our next mission. Tess isn’t gonna like this. She has a thing about babies. She’ll want to give the infant a chance to grow up normal and human, not letting me take it down until after its demon half inflicts unnamable horrors on humanity.
Portland, Oregon’s Forest Park is a wonderful natural treasure. Most of the time.
Five thousand plus acres and over seventy miles of hiking and biking trails. One nasty little dark elf had lots of places to hide. Lots of places to ambush weary hikers, joggers, and mountain bikers. Too many victims had fallen into his traps lately. He probably ate the homeless pets that got dumped here too.
So why had he avoided me for over a year?
“Where are you little Nörglein?” I asked sweetly as I jogged slowly along the well-beaten path. “Tonight the moon will show a waxing quarter. That’s the time of a demon’s greatest power. You should be out trolling for victims.”
Tonight was the time a goddess showed her face in the skies, the sickle moon defining her cheek like the scar on mine. The starscape behind the moon revealed her face and the Milky Way became her hair blowing in a celestial wind.
I’d seen the goddess a couple of times and felt her power infuse me with the strength to fight demon hordes.
Not tonight. Even a goddess can’t break through the thick clouds and rain the weather service predicted.
“Scrap, do you smell anything that doesn’t belong here?” I called to my otherworldly imp companion.
It’s a forest,
he shot back at me.
I smell green—trees, shrubs, and moss. That’s what forest denizens smell like.
“How do you know that?”
I’m an imp. I know these things.
“If you say so.”
I do say so!
Scrap landed on my shoulder with more clumsiness than usual. I barely felt his weight, just a bit of dandelion fluff. That’s because he lives only partway in this dimension and is invisible to everyone but me, or another Warrior of the Celestial Blade.
“He won’t come near me if you are this close,” I complained. Only another mile to the trailhead. Another day wasted searching for our quarry.
This trail is too popular. A blind rat could find his way home.
I passed a couple hiking uphill with daypacks and water bottles slung on their belts. They wore sensible low cut boots, matching black shorts, and bright red Tees that complemented their chocolate and
café au lait
skin nicely. They also had black sweatshirts slung over their shoulders. The sunny Saturday morning in mid-September had warmed up, but this late in the year, the weather could turn wet and/or chilly with only a moment’s notice. The equinox didn’t have a lot to do with determining the actual season change in Portland. Next week could be bright and beautiful and ninety degrees.
Don’t like the weather here? Wait a minute.
Don’t like the forecast? Change the channel.
This is the Pacific North
Wet
, after all. Great coffee, wonderful microbrews, and frequent rains sweeping in from the Pacific Ocean.
The couple hurried a little faster than normal hikers out for a Saturday morning walk.
I sweated heavily from my five mile run—mostly uphill—in my loose shorts and tank. My sweatshirt was tied around my waist and my light running shoes felt every imperfection in the dirt trail.
I felt naked without my mother’s pearls around my neck. The strand was too short to hide beneath the tank top. Pearls while jogging? Even I knew that was a fashion disaster.
The hikers and I nodded in mute acknowledgment of fellow travelers in the wilderness. Never know when you might need help. Or if one of us turned up missing, we’d remember seeing each other and the basic location when searches began.
Too often in the last year solitary hikers got “lost,” then walked out the next morning, dazed and mumbling about the ugly little guy who sheltered them overnight.
That shelter and directions came with a price.
The Nörglein had a bad reputation in the Italian and Swiss Alps. His reputation in the western hemisphere was nastier.
I looked to either side of the trail into the thick ferns, underbrush, and moss-covered fallen tree trunks crowding around tall Douglas Firs. A million shades of green melded into each other, shifting with each breeze whispering through. Ripples and mounds showed just how uneven and precarious I’d find the footing off the beaten path.
I saw faces in the whorls of bark and moss. Images of the Green Man so popular in forest lore popped into my head. I shook myself to get rid of a fear that every plant and tree embodied a malicious creature peering out at me.
“High noon and not a lot of sunlight penetrating.” I slowed to a walk. Time for a cool down.
Perfect for a dark elf
.
Put the emphasis on dark in that description of the Nörglein. Nothing tall and elegant or beautiful in this critter. Nothing honorable or enchanting either. This was the real thing, not High Fantasy fiction.
Take that little game trail on your left
.
“That’s not a game trail, that’s a runoff channel.” It meandered down a really, really steep hill. Portland has built up from the river plain across numerous cinder cones and volcanic ridges. It was the only city I’d ever visited that you had to climb uphill both directions of any trip. Nothing was ever downhill for very long unless it was really steep and scary.
A light wind that smelled of salt and damp riffled the ferns to my right. A single frond continued to wave at me several seconds after the air had paused for breath. The scar on my face grew warm.
I veered off the trail onto a slight separation in the underbrush barely as wide as one of my size six shoes.
Scrap took himself off into the top of a Douglas fir two hundred feet up. His gray-green skin blended perfectly with the short evergreen needles. Even I couldn’t see him. And we were so closely bonded I could find him anywhere. He could find me anywhen, across five dimensions.
He waggled his butt at me, showing off his seven warts. Imps won those—er—beauty marks in battle.
A tiny hint of pink on his wing tips told me that something less than nice lurked close by. My scar was a less accurate alarm system. Maybe he’d earn another wart today after all.
The sparse sunlight disappeared beneath a cloud. Uh oh. Maybe the weather critters on TV got it right for a change, predicting afternoon showers and a twenty-degree drop in temperature.
Autumn in the Pacific Northwest is rarely predictable. About the only certainty is the presence of good coffee on every other corner and a decent brew pub on the corners in between.
I could do with a drink of either about now. I gulped a long swig of water from my sports bottle hanging on my belt pack and took three more cautious steps.
Ten paces away a fern beckoned. Scrap turned hot pink in the tree directly above me, the same color as his favorite feather boa.
“I think we’re on to something, buddy.”
You got that right, babe.
“What’s he look like?”
Woody skin and green beard, what do you expect a forest denizen to look like?
Okay, not easy to spot.
Buff-colored knickers and linen shirt, a dark green short jacket, and three-cornered hat are so last century, dahling. More like two centuries out of date.
That about summed it up.
With my eyes on the slowly advancing movement through the underbrush, I stepped forward and ...
Snagged my foot on a blackberry vine stretched taut across my path. The spiked tendril came alive, coiling around my ankle and tugging.
My face met the dirt. I came to my knees spitting out crushed fern fronds and gagging on something sluglike.
Then the vine tugged again and I flailed forward.
A ragged, moss-covered stump caught me across the middle, taking my breath away.
I heard evil chuckles off to my left.
I yanked my left foot free of the entanglement and threw myself further off-balance.
Was that an alien hand pushing against my back?
Bracken and sword ferns crumbled beneath me as I rolled and tumbled downhill. I tried desperately to grab hold of something. Momentum pushed me faster and faster.