Forever Baby (5 page)

What is this reaction? Sadness? Can I really say that I am experiencing sadness? The idea is ridiculous. Jealousy? Maybe. Disappointment? How can I be disappointed about something that never was?
My chest is full of an uncomfortable pressure as I stand, frozen, gawking at the hot guy who I had a brief visual connection with moments ago.

His arms are around another girl, and he is whispering something in her ear. She throws her head back in laughter, and I can’t stop the stab of jealousy running through my veins.
What is my problem?
This whole scenario is irrational. In my head, I know it is. It doesn’t make any sense, yet I can’t pull my eyes away. I watch as he runs his hands slowly down her sides and around to her back, pulling her in close as they dance. I stay there, wondering who he is.
Who is this eye candy of a man that has me so befuddled? I don’t do this. I don’t stand around, ogling guys who happen to be attractive. What right do I have to feel jealous over someone I have never spoken to?

I feel a hand wrap around my arm, and it breaks my daze.

“Hey, are you okay?”

I can hear the concern in Nolan’s voice.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s go.”

He takes my hand, and we head for the exit. I haven’t even been in Spain for twenty-four hours, and I am going mental. I blame it on the exhaustion or the alcohol or both.

The moment I open my eyes, my thoughts go to last night. I lie in bed, still confused about the weird stare-down with the god of sexiness—no, the god of hotness.
Hmm…no, I can’t think of a word to adequately describe his level of deliciousness, but, man, I’ve never had a reaction like that to anyone.
My mind travels to the subsequent gawking incident, and I still can’t fathom why that affected me as it did. I experience a twinge of sadness, knowing I’ll probably never see him again.

The flashing of my phone catches my attention. Reaching for it, I find a text from Nolan.

Nolan: Hey! You feeling okay? ;-)

Me: Yeah. I’m not that bad. Must have been tired. Had fun though!

Nolan: Me, too! That place was the shit! We’ll have to go again!

Me: Totally! We’ll have to take Cara and Abby there when they visit!

Nolan: For sure! What are your plans today? It’s our last free day. ;-)

Me: Not sure. Let me get my ass out of bed. Will text you later. xo

Nolan: Sounds good. Talk to you later. xoxo

I plug my phone into the charger and head to the bathroom, smiling. I’m glad that all is normal with Nolan and me. I knew it would be, but I’m relieved anyway.

After a shower, I throw on some shorts and a fitted T-shirt and leave my room. A guy is sitting on the couch, eating a bowl of cereal, as he watches soccer. He has a slim build with caramel brown eyes and short brown hair with copper highlights.

He briefly breaks his attention from the game. “Hey,” he says before returning his interest back to the TV.

“Hi,” I say and go into the kitchen. I realize he must be Nadia’s twin, Carlos. I met him last night at the club, but I didn’t make the connection during our introduction.

I grab a bowl of cereal and go out to the couch to join him. We eat and watch soccer in silence for a while.

He breaks the quietness. “So, did you have fun last night?” He smirks.

I ignore the innuendo, wondering what the scene between Nolan and me must have looked like. “Yes, that place was so unlike anything back home.”

“What are the clubs like in the States?” he asks through a mouthful of cereal.

“The places I’ve been to are smaller, not as fancy, a little simpler.”
And ghetto
, I think, but I’m not sure how to translate that.

“Yeah, our clubs are definitely not simple. Did you like it?”

“Oh my God, it was awesome. I can’t wait to go back.”

Carlos laughs. “Well, you’ll get your chance to go there and to a lot more like it. Unfortunately, we go to those places a lot. Nadia insists.”

“You don’t like clubbing?”

“No, not really. I’m not a dancer. I enjoy drinking and all, but I’d rather do that here with the guys or at a smaller bar.”

“Why don’t you go to smaller bars then?”

“We go to those, too, but Nadia kind of runs the show, and she loves clubbing. Also, my friends, Andres and Hugo, like hanging with the chicks at the clubs, and afterward, if you know what I mean.” He winks obnoxiously at me.

“Uh, yeah…remind me who those two are when I meet them, so I know to stay away,” I say.

He laughs. “Will do. You met Andres and Hugo. They were there, but I’m sure you met a lot of new faces. You probably don’t remember. You’d be wise to stay away from them. I’m surprised they didn’t hit on you last night. It was probably because you were attached to Nolan. Having a
friendship
like that will come in handy here if you want to ward off too much attention from other guys.”

“Why did you say
friendship
like that? Nolan and I are really just friends. He has a girlfriend.”

Carlos laughs. “Does his girlfriend know about your
friendship
?” His eyebrow rises in question.

I am slightly offended. “Nolan’s girlfriend knows about me. You’ll see. She’ll be here in a few weeks.” I scrunch my lips and lower my eyebrows, making my best I-am-serious face.

He raises his hands in surrender. “Hey, whatever. I don’t care what you do.” He smirks and continues watching soccer.

As I stare at him, I can see the obvious similarities between him and Nadia. He’s the complete male version of her. My attention turns to Nadia coming down the stairs from her room. I talk to her about the day and find out that we’re having a lazy Sunday. She suggests that Nolan and I go walking around town. I’m excited to explore the city that will be my home for the next three months.

It’s hot and sunny. I decide to change into a light blue sundress and comfortable strappy sandals, and my hair is in a messy bun to keep it off my back. I’m waiting at the fountain in the Plaza de España. Nadia suggested I meet Nolan there since it’s walking distance from the house, seeing that it is next to our summer university.

I see Nolan approaching in his loose cargo khaki shorts and fitted white T-shirt. I can see the outline of his muscles through his shirt. As always, he is adorable.

He flashes me his stunning smile. “Hey, beautiful. You ready to see some of the city?”

We walk hand in hand through the Plaza de España complex, which is truly breathtaking. Stunning brownstone buildings sit around the edge of a vast semicircle. We amble across a gorgeous Venetian-style bridge with stunning ceramic balustrades. The bridge over the canal follows the curve of the buildings, creating a pathway between the buildings and the plaza. Numerous intricately designed bridges allow the buildings to be accessible over the moat. Many tiled alcoves dot the plaza walls, each nook representing a different Spanish province. The striking ceramic tile tells the history of that area of Spain. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a more beautiful man-made place.

After walking around the plaza for over an hour, exploring every alcove and taking in as much beauty and history as we could, we decide to meander through the cobblestone streets and scope out a place to eat. We stop at a little restaurant for coffee and a late lunch. We’re seated at an outside table situated on the stone patio. Each table has its own white umbrella blocking the sun.

Lunch is delicious. Nolan and I share a common Spanish meal—a large plate of paella that is made of rice, seafood, and vegetables. I sip my cappuccino as he sips his espresso, and we fall into a comfortable conversation. He reminds me that Abby is coming to visit in two weeks. I’m hoping that Abby and I hit it off on a more positive note.

After our meal, Nolan grabs a taxi to go home, and I walk the short distance back to my place. I am anxious to get back to the house and get everything in order for class tomorrow.

The house is empty when I get in.
I should call home.
Spain is six hours ahead of Michigan, so my parents will probably be getting back from church around this time.

My mom picks up after the third ring. “Livi, love! How is it? Tell me everything!”

I sure lucked out in the mom department. She and I have always had a close relationship. She has a tendency to worry a bit too much. That led to a few disagreements when I was in high school. But she only worries because she cares. I’ve always told her most of the details about my life. She is understanding and empathetic, and she consistently gives great advice. She’s supported me through all my dramatic girl issues during my tween and teen years.

I tell her about everything I’ve encountered since arriving yesterday. She listens with interest, and before hanging up, I promise to call again soon.

Next, I call Cara and tell her about the awesome club Nolan and I went to last night and the mystery man who took my breath away.

The interest in her voice is almost tangible. “Tell me more! I told you there would be juicy details!”

I chuckle. “That’s all there is to tell unfortunately.”

“So, let me get this straight. The hottest guy you have ever seen engages you in a stare-down contest, and that’s it?”

“Yeah, that’s it.”

“Come on, Livi! Why didn’t you follow through? You didn’t go talk to him, wave, or acknowledge him somehow?”

“I told you, when I went back, he was dancing with someone. What was I supposed to do?”

“Hmm…” she says out loud. “There is more to this story that you are not telling me.”

I revisit last night, and the entire evening plays through my mind like a movie on fast-forward. I pause and try to imagine what Nolan and I looked like while dancing and kissing.
Ugh, the kiss.
Of course Mr. Hotness did nothing more than stare.
What choice had I given him?
To a stranger’s eyes, I’m sure Nolan and I looked like we were together.
Maybe he didn’t see the kiss?
I don’t know when he first saw me. Regardless, straddling Nolan as we were dancing probably seemed intimate to any outsider.

I sigh. “Nope, that’s all, Cara. It just wasn’t meant to be.”

“Okay,” she says with deliberate slowness, obviously not content with my explanation. “Well, maybe you will see him again, and if you do, you need to at least introduce yourself.”

“I will,” I say, knowing the chances of seeing him again in a city this size are quite low.

She hasn’t purchased her plane ticket yet, and I let her know when Abby is coming because I want Cara to visit at the same time.

“You know Abby doesn’t like me, and I could use my partner in crime while she is here.”

Cara reassures me, “It has nothing to do with you. She is just a bitch.”

“Yeah, but it would make me feel better if you were here.”

“Okay, I will talk to Jimmy tomorrow and see if he can schedule someone to cover my shifts while I am gone.”

Jimmy is Cara’s boss at the Italian restaurant where she is a server. I know this won’t be a problem. Like most men, Jimmy would do anything for Cara.

Before I let her go, I promise to keep her posted on all future juiciness.

Going through my textbooks in preparation for tomorrow sounds like a good idea. I grab my Spanish textbook from the end table and open it to the first chapter. In bed, I lie on my stomach, propped up on my elbows. While attempting to study the first lesson, the words blur together as my mind races, taking in everything from the past two days. The gamut of emotions that I’m processing is exhausting. What a crazy whirlwind. Leaving the known—Cara, my job, my apartment, my family, and my city—to come to a place where I won’t even be speaking my own language deserves some pause.

Coming down from the anxiety of the plane ride to take in the beauty and newness of this awe-inspiring place is a process. I wonder if everyone who travels experiences this overwhelming sensation. It wouldn’t surprise me if the people native to Spain take the beauty of their home for granted.
Maybe I take the scenery in Michigan for granted? I’m sure I do.
I question what it would be like to travel to other places.
Would each new place bring on powerful sentiments as well?
Spain has me enchanted, and I haven’t even been here for forty-eight hours. One lonely, happy tear falls, landing on the bottom of the open page. Chuckling, I wipe it off. I am such a sap, but I am so grateful to be here. The whole experience has already blown any expectation I had out of the water, and I still have three whole months here.