FOREVER BELOVED (Billionaire Love Series) (2 page)

I had thought about the possibility of being
pregnant for a week, even as I wanted to deny it.

There wasn’t a question in my mind. “I’m
keeping my baby.”

He shut my chart. “Okay, then. Schedule an
appointment with Georgia on your way out.”

As I got dressed and left the crowded
clinic, I wondered how I was going to handle a baby and a
ten-year-old all by myself. It wasn’t going to be easy. That was
for sure.

Grief and pregnancy turned out to be a
diabolical combination. I cried myself to sleep most nights, at
least for the first three months. I would throw up, then cry, then
throw up again.

A magical process, I tell you.

Somehow, by the grace of God, I got through
the worst of it.

Four months after Beau left, I was awarded
full guardianship of Emma, which only brought me a little relief.
By then, I was also six months pregnant and scared out of my
flippin’ mind Beau’s dad would find out. I didn’t know what he
would do if he knew about the baby.

Nothing good, that’s for sure.

He was the grandfather of my child and I
didn’t want anything to do with him. But I loved his son
desperately, more, it seemed, with each passing day.

The littlest things set me off, like the
morning I ate the last of the Shredded Wheat he loved so much. I
cried as I tasted the sweet crunch and milk together, remembering
how he had touched the box, enjoyed the cereal and laughed at the
table as we had breakfast together.

I wrote him a dozen letters, all begging him
to come back to me. I never sent them; they just piled up in my
dresser drawer, taunting me until I couldn’t stand it. I couldn’t
give them to Beau, but I could get them one-step closer to him.

With that in mind, I decided to reach out to
Beau’s granddad. He was the only one I trusted. He was my last
connection to Beau and I knew instinctively he would keep my
secret.

He turned out to be a lifesaver.

I showed up one Sunday morning at the big
house, following a hunch that James Shepard would be on his way to
church. I’d watched him leave and quickly located Charly out back
in the garden of their colossal mansion.

He put his spade down and stood up, breaking
into a wide grin. “It’s good to see you, Marla.”

He said it so sweetly, I burst into
tears.

“
Honey, what’s wrong?” he asked, throwing
his shovel into the ground.

“
I’m pregnant,” I blurted out, patting my
growing belly.

“
I can see that,” he said kindly.
“Whatever are we going to do?”

“
I’m going to have this baby,” I said
resolutely. “It’s the only thing I have left of Beau.”

“
You know Bubba’s daddy didn’t tell me
what he did, but I figured he had something to do with the way
Bubba left. Beau was heartbroken when he got on that plane for
training camp.”

“
I know.” Tears slid down my face, the
pain still fresh.

“
So, you’ve come to me for help, little
lady?”

I nodded quickly, too distraught to say
anything else.

“
You’re having Bubba’s baby and you’re all
alone, aren’t you?” he summarized perfectly.

I cried harder. “Yes. I don’t want this baby
to grow up and not know his daddy’s family.”

He patted me on the shoulder. “There, there.
You’re not alone. We’ll just have to see how we can get to fixin’
this...”

Oh, how that was music to my ears. He was
willing to help me.

Charlie jumped right in, making sure I had
everything I needed while I was pregnant, including the best
medical care available. He even drove me to and from my
appointments.

We got to know each other on our outings
together. He was funny and sassy, reminding me of Beau in so many
ways with his thoughtful, kind, and noble heart.

I grew so comfortable with him; I even
confided to him what Beau’s dad had done. He didn’t say anything as
we’d driven along, but he’d gripped the steering wheel until his
knuckles turned white.

That’s how I felt too.

I was just bearing it.

Barely.

In early spring of the next year, nine
months pregnant and ready to pop, I woke up feeling funny. There
was a weird pressure in my back and I knew my body was preparing
for the big moment. I kept calm as I fixed some breakfast, but the
pain was growing stronger.

I managed to choke down a few eggs as the
contractions took on a life of their own. Building in intensity,
they felt like a tight fist clamping down on my uterus.

I didn’t know if I was ready to have this
baby. I had planned and pinched every penny, but it was still going
to be a rough road. I had hoped to get a job to extend the
dwindling savings my mom had left us, but with a baby on the way
and no one but me to care for two kids, I had thrown my energy into
going to massage school.

I was only half-way through my classes, but
the school had agreed to let me take six weeks off for the baby. I
wasn’t sure how I was going to work it all out, but at that moment,
my attention was on what was happening inside my body.

“
What’s wrong, Marla? Why do you look like
that?” Emma asked as I braced myself against a kitchen table
chair.

I put my finger up to signal just a minute,
pain tearing through me. She watched me, enthralled, by my silent
struggle. She’d been fascinated with my growing belly and pregnancy
since I had told her I was having a baby.

I panted, like the birthing classes I took,
had instructed. It wasn’t helping much to relieve the pain. But I
made it through the contraction as I let out a big sigh.

“
I’m getting ready to have the baby,” I
told Emma with a comforting smile, as soon I could speak.

Her blue eyes grew big. “Oh. Does it
hurt?”

“
Yes, it does. I haven’t ever felt this
kind of pain before.”

“
Do you need to get to the
hospital?”

“
I do. But first, I need to take you over
to Ms. Adelaide’s. Get your stuff.”

“
Okay.” She hustled back to her bedroom to
find her pre-packed suitcase while I tried to remember everything I
needed to do.

I grabbed my suitcase and dragged it to the
living room after donning a purple housecoat—one of the few things
that still fit my belly. Trying to be responsible, I checked the
stove and the windows, making sure the apartment was safe as I
glanced around. Everything seemed to be in order.

“
Got what you need, kiddo?” I asked Emma
as we stood by the front door.

“
Yep, I have everything I need.”

“
You’ve got that phone number I gave you,
right?” I had given her Charlie’s private number, so she had
someone to call if there was an emergency.

“
Yep, it’s in my suitcase.”

We walked the short distance to Ms.
Adelaide’s. From there, I intended to waddle down to the bus stop
for a quick ride across town to the hospital.

“
You’re having a baby! I’m so excited!”
Emma squealed as I tried to walk steadily next to her.

“
Yay!” I agreed, trying to share in her
enthusiasm.

Emma banged on Ms. Adelaide’s door as if she
was alerting her to a fire.

“
Emma, she’ll think something is wrong,” I
scolded, not wanting our neighbor to hurt herself, trying to get to
the door.

“
Nah, she’ll be just as excited as me!”
Emma boasted.

I grinned at my sister’s pluckiness. She had
been my saving grace during this whole, ugly situation. Without
her, I didn’t know where I would be.

A couple of seconds later, Ms. Adelaide
threw the door open, just as a contraction slammed into me. “I
think the baby’s coming,” I breathed out, grabbing onto the door
jam, trying to bear the climaxing pain.

“
Oh my. How far apart are the
contractions?” Ms. Adelaide asked as she studied me.

“
Not very far apart!” I panted as the
contraction tore through my uterus.

Damn, those hurt.

I sagged against the brick of the building,
trying to stay on my feet as the pain ended.

“
Child, you’re dripping,” Ms. Adelaide
said as I glanced down at the wet cement.

“
Oh crap.” My eyes were wide as
saucers.

This was really happening. I was really
having a baby.

I started to cry.

“
I’m calling you an ambulance, child,” Ms
Adelaide announced calmly

“
That’s okay. I’ll take the bus,” I cried,
not wanting her to make a fuss.

“
You ain’t gonna take the bus in your
condition. Now, come sit down,” she chastised in a motherly tone as
she put her hand on her hip.

“
Okay,” I relented, bearing the pain as
she led me to the couch.

She grabbed the phone and dialed 911 as Emma
got out a towel and wiped down my legs. In a couple of minutes, the
familiar sirens wailed through nearby streets and pulled up in
front of our apartment complex.

After assessing my labor pains, the EMT’s
gently walked me down the steps and loaded me up in the
ambulance.

“
Where are you taking me?” I asked the
young paramedic with the kind eyes.

“
St. George’s.”

That sent a chill through my overtaxed,
swollen body. That hospital was not known for its care and I wasn’t
about to go there by myself.

“
Can you take me to John Hopkins? That’s
where I’m scheduled to give birth.”

“
It’ll cost more to transport you across
town.”

“
That’s okay. Just get me there.” Charlie
had been kind enough to set me up at the best hospital in
Baltimore.

Turning on the siren, the ambulance driver
whisked me away as the contractions continued to rip through my
uterus. I hung in there, trying to remember I would have a sweet
baby at the end of this ordeal.

When we arrived, I was rushed up to the
delivery room where the doctor examined me.

“
You’re dilated to about seven
centimeters. Just a few more to go and you’ll have this baby,” she
told me with a soothing smile.

“
Uh-huh. It sure feels like it!” I groaned
as another contraction slammed into me.

Searing pain and impossible pressure.

Not my favorite things.

It took a couple of more hours for my body
to open up those final centimeters. Then the real work began. I
pushed for all I was worth as I concentrated on getting my little
one out into the world.

Labor turned out to be a long, arduous
process. Luckily, I had some great nurses who took fabulous care of
me. One was young and very energetic; the other was a compassionate
Drill Sergeant, who kept me moving forward in the delivery
process.

“
Come on, push!” Doreen, the older nurse
demanded, as she held my foot and pushed against me as I followed
her instruction.

My body shook as I groaned aloud, the baby
inching toward the world.

She ran a washcloth along my sweaty forehead
between contractions. “Oh, poor thing...you can do it, dearie. Your
body knows what to do.”

“
I can?” I asked, trying to find the
strength to birth this baby.

“
Oh yes, you’re stronger than you realize.
Now push!” she directed again as another contraction surged through
my weary body.

Somehow, I dug deep and kept pushing.

But it still took forever.

Finally, the doctor announced the head was
crowning.

“
Give me one more good push, Marla,” the
doctor instructed.

With all my might, I bore down as if my life
depended on it as Charlie came into the world. The cries of my
newborn greeted my relieved ears, as I lay back on the hospital bed
totally exhausted.

“
It’s a boy!” the doctor exclaimed as she
placed the baby on my chest.

“
A boy?” I asked in delight as I held my
child for the first time.

He was so beautiful.

So amazingly perfect.

What a relief. He was pink and flushed with
life. His fingers and toes were perfectly formed. I couldn’t ask
for more.

I shouldn’t ask for more.

But, I couldn’t help myself.

Beau should be there.

A profound grief rose up in my breast as I
experienced one of the saddest moments in my life. Its utter
hopelessness stole all the strength and courage out of my chest,
leaving me utterly exposed.

That excruciating pain tore through my
heart, almost paralyzing me as great hiccupping sobs escaped out of
my throat. I cried uncontrollably, holding Charlie tighter against
my chest as my longing for Beau overwhelmed me.

He should be there with me, holding his
child.

Now, he would never know his son.

Sorrow gripped me as I wept for everything I
had lost.

The older nurse, looking more like a young
grandmother came to my bedside. “The tears are normal, dearie.” She
rubbed my back, mistaking my weeping for joy. “Is there anyone you
want me to call?”

I tried to pull it together as I wiped at my
eyes. “Yeah, can you call Charly Shepard at this number?” I reached
over to the hospital nightstand to find the piece of paper I had
written his number on.

“
Oh, Mr. Shepard is already here. He’s the
nicest gentleman,” the young nurse praised as she wrote something
down on my chart.

Emma must’ve talked to him. “I know. He’s a
great guy,” I offered with a weak smile.

“
You have him listed as your next of kin.
Is he your grandfather?”

“
No, but he’s my baby’s
great-grandfather.”

“
Are you up to seeing him?”

“
Yes, please send him in.”

Two minutes later, Charly waltzed in with a
trail of balloons, flowers and a teddy bear filling his arms. “Oh
my, girl! You did it!” He clapped his hands together as soon as he
put everything down.