Forever Changed (26 page)

Mom carried Megan up to her own bed while I lethargically climbed the stairs to my room. Mom joined me a few minutes later and helped me change into pajamas.

“This is going to be a pain,” I said, trying not to bump my hand that was starting to let me know it was not pleased with me as the painkillers began to wear off.

“Literally or figuratively?” Mom asked, making me laugh.

“Both,” I said, climbing under my covers that she held up for me.

“Do you think she freaked out like that because she was stuck in the car with Dad and all that blood?” I finally asked the question we had been avoiding.

She sighed and sat on the edge of my bed. “I think so, but I hardly remember anything from that day.”

“Not me, I remember it vividly,” I admitted.

“You do?” she asked, laying down on the other pillow next to me and holding on to my uninjured hand.

“Yeah, you called me during third period, telling me there had been an accident. Mrs. Lewis called in an aide and drove me to the hospital herself. Dad was in surgery when I got there and Megan was in the E.R. sitting on a gurney covered in Dad’s blood waiting for the doctor to put a cast on her arm.”

“Where was I?” Mom asked in a low voice.

“You were in the chapel praying,” I reminded her. “I held Megan’s hand as they set her arm and then put a cast on it. It didn’t dawn on me until later that she didn’t so much as make a peep when he set her arm. Once her arm was set and casted, I helped her take off her blood-covered leotard and helped her into pajamas the hospital gave us. Grandma and Donna got there as I was carrying her through the halls looking for you. I handed her off to them so I could come find you. The surgeon that worked on Daddy found you at the same time I did,” I said in a quiet voice.

“I left you to deal with all of that,” Mom said in a shaky voice.

“It was the worst day of our lives,” I said, letting her know that I understood we all handled grief differently.

“I’m sorry.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for, Mom. I’m just glad we finally got to talk about that day,” I said.

“You said something earlier in the kitchen that upset me,” mom said.

“Oh, don’t remind me,” I said, remembering my rant.

“No, this is something we need to discuss. You said your father’s death was your fault. Honey, that’s not true. We knew nothing was wrong with your car. Your dad figured a tune-up wouldn’t hurt since you had been driving it for awhile.”

“Really?” I asked.

“Really,” she said, squeezing my hand.

“Thank goodness,” I said as the pain killers took affect and I drifted to sleep, exhausted from my evening.

I woke several hours later to a throbbing hand and a small body squeezing in between Mom and me.

“Hey, Peanut,” I said, pulling her close to me.

“You didn’t die,” she said in the sweetest voice I had been missing for months.

“No, Peanut, I didn’t die. Just a boo-boo,” I said, holding my hand up so she could see my gauze-wrapped hand in the moonlight that was streaming through my window.

“Just like me?” she asked.

“Yep, just like that,” I said, giving her a squeeze. “I love you, Peanut.”

“I luz you too, Kass Kass,” she said, drifting off to sleep.

“Do you need more painkillers?” Mom asked from the other side of my bed.

“Do you mind?” I asked as my hand blazed out of control.

“Not at all,” she said, climbing out of my bed and retrieving my pain pills off my dresser where I had left them. She shook out one and handed it to me with a bottle of water.

I took it gratefully, mumbled my thanks and promptly fell back to sleep.

***

The next morning I woke to my hand once more on fire. I looked over and found Mom was already awake. “What do we do with Peanut today?” I asked quietly, taking care not to wake her up. The original plan was to send her to school, but the craziness of the night put a wrench in that idea.

“I asked Mrs. Miller if she could watch her while we’re at the courthouse,” Mom answered, standing up and stretching. “Do you need another pain pill?”

I shook my head no. “I’d rather not. They make me sleepy and I want all my wits about me today.”

“You trust him?” she inquired, finally asking the question we had been avoiding.

“With every fiber in me,” I said.

She nodded and left my room.

Anxiety raced through me as my moment to step up to the stand approached. I knew when Kass and her mom arrived because I could hear the sympathetic murmurings of the crowd around me. I saw them take the seats behind the prosecutor out of the corner of my eye, but I kept my eyes straight-forward, focusing on the task at hand.

The lawyer's words seemed like mumbo jumbo as I remained fixated on the back of my father’s head in front of me. He greeted me like we shared the closest of father-son relationships when I first arrived, but my standoffish attitude had his lawyer encouraging him to turn back around.

My aunt, who was sitting beside me, squeezed my hand reassuringly as they called my name. She supported my decision to speak today and lent the moral support I needed. I walked to the stand with lead in my legs. I placed my hand on the Bible and repeated the words that were asked of me.

"Yes, I swear to tell the whole truth, so help me God."

And that is exactly what I did. I recounted every beating I had ever taken, every drink my father took, and every drug he had ever tried. The defense attorney tried to interject when he realized I wasn’t here for my father. From the moment I began talking, I spoke to only two individuals in the room, Kassandra and her mom. This was my apology to them. I had kept quiet my entire life, just trying to get by to prove I was nothing like the person who was on trial. This was my chance to finally stand up for myself.

My words brought tears to their eyes that flowed freely down their cheeks and I was glad for the closure I was giving them.

My father sat in shocked silence as I continued in great detail. Hearing the truth was a tough pill to swallow when you had been drunk for the last eighteen years.

I felt pity for him, he was my father after all, but I kept my eyes firmly on Kass and her mom. This was what was right, this would set them free.

Epilogue

We floated along in our canoe together with me tucked securely between Maddon’s legs as he rowed us effortlessly through the water. The springs had become our place to continue to get to know each other more.

“So, Megan says hi by the way,” I remembered, knowing if I forgot to tell him, I wouldn't hear the end of it from her.

“Cute, tell her I said hey back," he said, setting the oars in the canoe by our legs so he could wrap his arms around my waist.

“It's funny, she spent months not saying a word, and now she won't shut up," I laughed.

"She cracks me up," he said as he used his finger to trace my scar.

“I still can’t believe you didn’t turn off the disposal before you stuck your hand in there,” he said, shaking his head.

“Are we going to talk about this every time we hold hands? Besides, I was preoccupied defending your honor,” I said.

“Thirty-three stitches,” he said.

“I know, I felt every one of them,” I said as my hand began to burn in response.

“I’m sorry you hurt yourself, babe,” he said, nuzzling my neck which proved to be an excellent pain reliever.

“Me too,” I quipped. “No, actually, I’m not. At least it got Megan talking, and helped Mom and me work through a lot of stuff, so maybe it happened for a reason. Everything that happened was tough and I will never stop missing my father, but I am glad you're finally free from yours,” I said, sinking back against his chest.

His mouth traveled my jaw line as he tilted my head back so his lips could meet mine. I deepened the kiss by opening my mouth to his as his hands gently caressed my ribcage, slowly moving upward.

I pulled back to look in his eyes. “I’m not going to keep the one promise to my dad,” I said, laughing as his eyes widened. “But I am going to wait until it no longer feels like I would be letting him down,” I said, bursting his bubble.

“Damn, so close, yet so far away,” he said as I giggled. “You’ll be the death of me, woman,” he said in a mock growl.

“I hope not or you’ll miss out when I am ready,” I teased.

He laughed with me. “Okay, so I see a lot of cold showers in my future then.”

I laughed too, enjoying life fully for the first time in as long as I could remember. One tragic event had changed everything. Shifting our lives to bring us together and we would be forever changed because of it.

Enjoy this excerpt from

When I was younger, I always thought of life like chapters in a book. I never knew what each turn of the page would bring, but always hoped for something better and happier. I regarded my younger brother and myself as characters that were meant to persevere, no matter what obstacles were thrown our way. Of course, our life was far from the paranormal worlds that I loved reading about. Not that you could call our life normal—not in the least, but we definitely didn’t have any cool supernatural powers or anything like that. Still, fantasizing about it helped pass the endless miles down highways that look the same no matter where you are at. If I were a paranormal character, I would be an illusionist. I had made it an art form to never let anyone know how I was really feeling. We never knew what kind of mood my mom would be in from one day to the next, so most days I was the emotional catalyst of the family, always trying to appear happy and cheerful, when inside I was screaming. My brother, on the other hand, would be a special character. Kevin is a unique soul, caring and selfless. He definitely doesn’t deserve this life—neither of us do, but at least we have each other, and I would die to protect him.

We arrived in Four Corners, Montana, in late September, over a full month after the school year had already started, but my little brother and I were used to that by now. The town definitely lived up to its name. Four adjacent corners with lonely looking establishments perched on each one. We observed the Higgins Grocers, which sounded vaguely familiar on the south corner and a small mom and pop restaurant called Sunny-Side Up on the corner directly across from it. Withers, a gas station that had seen better days, sat on the third corner opposite from the restaurant, which left the last corner to the run-down trailer park called Shady Lane that would be our new home.