Forever Mine (50 page)

I know how much you wanted our son, and I hope this journal will help you know him in the future, as you never could in the past.

Always and forever, Nicholas

Victoria closed the book, her heart breaking as she read the pain in Nicholas’ words. She turned into the strong arms surrounding her, and clung to him. They’d found each other again. As cruel as the universe had been to them in the past, it had given them a second chance at happiness.

“There’s something else in there,” Nicholas said with sense of wonder. “Something I had made for you after you were gone.”

Puzzled, she looked at him for a moment. He looked thoroughly bewildered, but confident she would find something. Peering deeper into the cubby hole, she found two soft leather pouches. The first was fairly heavy and she undid the purse strings then spilled the contents into the palm of her hand. The sapphire necklace sparkled in the sunlight streaming into the room.

“Don’t say a word. You were worth the extravagance.” Nicholas smiled as she stared at the necklace and shook her head. “It’s the other pouch I’m talking about. I had it made for you as a way for you to know Andrew.”

Victoria returned the sapphire necklace to its pouch and handed it to Nicholas. She pulled the second leather bag opened and dumped the contents into her hand. The gold locket glistened in the sunlight as she stared down at it. The oval locket was more than an inch in size with Nicholas’ and her initials entwined on the outside. Carefully, she opened the locket and drew in a sharp breath at the images of a boy as a baby and then a few years older.

“It opens up,” Nicholas said softly. He stretched out his hand and popped a latch on the locket, which revealed another six portraits. “It’s Andrew from the time he was a baby until he reached his twenty-first birthday.”

Stunned by the thoughtful gift, Victoria stared down at the images of the son she’d never known. Her fingers ran along the edges of the locket, and the thought of giving it up made her heart break. Almost as if he knew what she was thinking, he pressed a kiss to her temple.

“I sit on the board of the Brentwood Park Foundation. I’ll make a sizeable donation in exchange for the journals and the locket,” he said with a confident smile. “They’ll be thrilled simply that the sapphires have surfaced. Obviously I failed to tell Andrew about this hiding spot or the secret would have been passed down through the family.”

“Edmund probably was reluctant to tell you as well since I told him it was a secret,” she said in a wistful voice. “I miss him, already.”

“I’m certain we’ll see him and Andrew again.” Nicholas took the locket from her trembling hands then folded it up and returned it to the pouch. “The fact I’ve found you again reassures me of that.”

“I love you, Nicholas. Not even time itself can ever change that,” she whispered as she pulled his head down to hers and kissed him.

The kiss held all the love and passion she had for him. The kiss deepened, and Victoria’s hunger to touch all of him and reassure herself he wasn’t a figment of her imagination made her press her body tightly into his. The moment her hands slid down to his waist, Nicholas put a small amount of space between them.

“Don’t tempt me, sweet witch,” he said with a low groan. “I don’t live here anymore. Besides, I’m surprised Nora hasn’t burst in here wanting to know that everything is all right.”

“Later then?” she said with a teasing smile.

“Count on it. We’ve a lot of catching up to do,” he said with a grin that was almost identical to the Earl of Guildford’s, and yet distinctively belonged to the Nicholas in this time period.

With her hand clasped in his, he led her out of the room that was filled with so many memories into a future where their love would create so many more.

“R
eady to go?” Nick rolled the wheelchair to a halt just inside the door of the hospital room.

“On my own power,” Victoria said with a look of stubborn exasperation. “Between you and Dr. Bertram browbeating me into staying here for almost another week, I’m more than capable of leaving this hospital without using a wheelchair.”

With each passing day, he was recalling bits and piece of his life as the Earl of Guildford. The majority of his memories were always triggered by something Victoria said or did. Even her facial expressions could spark something in his consciousness. Now he remembered quite clearly that once Victoria made up her mind about something, there were few instances when he’d been able to change her mind. This was a battle he chose not to fight.

“As you wish,” he said with a grimace of futility. Nick started to roll the chair out of the room then stopped and slowly turned his head to look at her. There was a wistful expression on her face, and as their eyes met, he frowned.

“I offered to buy the Princess Bride for you a long time ago,” he said with an unsettled feeling as a hopeful expression crossed her lovely face.

“Yes,” she said softly. “I told you it hadn’t been published yet.”

Nick nodded then stared at the floor for a long moment. He wished he’d remembered this elusive memory earlier. He would have one upped himself by buying the book and giving it to her without her having to acknowledge that he’d offered to buy it when he’d been the Earl of Guildford. Nick frowned as the thought blindsided him. The reality of the situation was that he was competing with another man. The man he’d once been, and he wasn’t sure how to deal with that.

Worst of all, he hadn’t expected this inept feeling where Victoria was concerned. He’d thought when she came out of her coma everything would be as if they’d known each other for a very long time. He was still adapting to the idea that he’d lived before, but the one thing he knew without any doubt or reservation was that he loved Victoria. She meant everything to him. Another sliver of memory popped a latch in his head. He looked up to meet her gaze.

“I asked you to marry me that same night, didn’t I?” he said with a wry twist of his lips.

“You seemed to think it would stop me from saying I wasn’t your wife.” Amusement sparkled in her eyes, brightening their blue color.

“If I recall correctly, it worked,” he said with a sudden grin. The intangible memory solidified in his thoughts and became complete in his heart. It created a need to relive the happiness of that moment. He grew somber and met her gaze solemnly.

“Would you do it again?”

“What?” she asked with a puzzled expression.

“Marry me.”

The mixed emotions crossing her face at his proposal made Nick want to bite off his tongue. Her memories of their time together in the past were fresh, more vivid than his. It put him at a significant disadvantage. She knew the man he’d been in the past. The question was whether she would compare the man he’d been to the man he was now. The thought made him uneasy.

Suddenly, she smiled at him. It was a soft, gentle smile of happiness and contentment. Nick recognized the look. From the moment he’d seen her standing in front of the fireplace at Brentwood Park a week ago, he’d realized it was easier not to question his feelings or the memories filling his head.

“Is that a hypothetical question?” she asked in a husky voice then shook her head and smiled. “It doesn’t matter. My answer is yes one way or the other.”

Triumph surged through him, and he stepped around the wheelchair to go to her. Slowly bending his head, he kissed her. The memory of their kiss at Brentwood Park last week hadn’t been an illusion. Her lips were soft and sweet against his. Love, passion, and need renewed their assault on his senses as he pulled her tight against him. Victoria’s hands pressed against his chest as she broke their kiss.

“Nicholas, what would you say if I said we should take a few days to get to know each other again?”

The request cut deep. He’d been right. She was trying to decide whether he was the same man she’d loved in the past, and whether she could be with the man he was now. How was he supposed to compete with a memory? Nicholas released her slowly and took a step back.

“If that’s what you want,” he said quietly as he forced a smile to his lips. She frowned and narrowed her eyes at him.

“What’s wrong?”

“What makes you think there’s something wrong?” He shrugged with a nonchalance he didn’t feel.

“Because I know that look.” She glared at him with suspicion.

“And what look would that be?” he bit out between clenched teeth as he remembered other arguments they’d had. She was as exasperating now as she’d been all those years ago.

“It’s the one that says you’re not happy with me.”

“Why would I be unhappy with you?” he said as he shoved his hand through his hair. “I can wait until you’re certain of your feelings.”

“My feelings?” She stepped forward to press her hands into his chest. Her sapphire gaze filled with warmth and love, she shook her head.

“This isn’t about me,” she said softly. “It’s about how
you
feel.”

“How I feel. What the hell are you talking about?” Nick drew in a deep breath of frustration and confusion.

“I love you, Nicholas,” she said softly as she touched his cheek. “But this idea of…it’s all still new to you. I want you to be sure of what you’re feeling.”

“I am sure,” he said in a firm voice. A pensive expression darkened her features as she shook her head.

“No, I don’t think you are. Nora’s told me how difficult all of this has been for you,” she said as her fingers caressed his cheek. “I just want you to understand and believe that the man I fell in love with in the past is the same man standing in front of me now.”

“I won’t deny that it’s been rough coming to grips with something I’ve never believed in until now.”

“Which is why I want us to take a little time, even if it’s only a couple of days.” When he tried to object, she pressed her forefinger against his lips. “I just want you to understand that I love the man you were. And even though I know nothing about your life now, I love the man you are today. I want you to be as sure of me as I am of you.”

“I
am
sure of you,” he growled with frustration. “I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life, but if you think a couple of days will make me feel even more convinced of how much I love you, then fine.”

“Thank you,” she said with a laugh.

“You still have me wrapped around your finger. You know that, don’t you?” he grumbled, annoyed that she could manipulate him as easily today as she had all those years ago. She laughed.

“Come on, I want to see more of the city, and I can’t imagine having a better tour guide,” she said as she pick up her purse and slung it over her shoulder. “Although I do need to make arrangements for a hotel.”

“There’s no need for a hotel. Nora offered to put you up until you figure out what you want to do.” He drew in a deep breath. “And there’s always my place. I have a spare bedroom.”

“I’d like that,” she said huskily as she kissed him on the cheek. “We had separate bedrooms at Brentwood Park.”

“I think we had mergers on numerous occasions in one or the other on a regular basis,” he muttered as he turned away to roll the wheelchair out into the hall where he left it against the wall.

He winced as he heard Victoria’s laugh follow him out the door. He’d not meant for her to overhear his remark. Nick returned to the room and grabbed the handle of her wheeled suitcase. With a sweep of his hand, he waited for her to walk out of the room ahead of him. The amused smile curving her lips had him teetering on the edge of irritation and laughter. He opted for laughter. As they headed down the hall toward the lift, Nick took her hand in his as he’d done a hundred times before.

§  §  §

Laughter bubbled out of Victoria as he ushered her into his townhouse. For the past four days, Nick had taken her sight-seeing to some of the out of the way places in the city. Tonight they’d gone to see a play at the Lyttelton Theater, and had argued passionately, yet lovingly, the whole way home as to the validity of themes in Shaw’s work. The door closed behind them, Nick nodded toward the kitchen.

“I chilled some wine. Would you like a glass?”

“That would be nice,” she said with a smile as she moved into the living room.

“That day in the salon with Mr. Lockwood, I almost refused to do this second portrait. I was furious with you,” Victoria called out, her voice carrying into the kitchen as Nick removed the cork from a bottle of wine. He dropped the corkscrew with the plug still on it onto the counter, then with the wine bottle and glasses in hand, he walked into the living room. Victoria looked at him over her shoulder and smiled. Arching an eyebrow at her, Nick grinned as he set the wine and glasses on the coffee table.

“And I recall being sincerely repentant. Besides, I’m certain I would have found a way to make you do my bidding if you’d protested.” He came up behind her to wrap his arms around her waist and pull her backward into his chest. Victoria looked up at him.

“Oh, I’m
sure
you would have,” she said with a laugh. “I’m glad you have it though.”

“I wasn’t about to sell it any more than I would the formal portrait.”