Forever My Girl (8 page)

I shrug, pushing my fingers into his recently shaved head. His eyes close as I massage his scalp. He loves it when I do this.

“Are your parent’s home?” he asks and when I shake my head no. He pulls one of my hands into his and walks us out of the school.

“How do you know?” I ask barely able to get the words out without choking.

“I saw the cover at the museum on our field trip.”

“Is that where you met Liam the other day?” My curiosity piques. When Liam showed up at the shop I had no idea how he found out about Noah.

Noah nods. “I was upset over a thing they had for Mason and he was in the bathroom. We talked and I said he was the guy kissing you in the video. Was he your boyfriend?”

Do I answer or deflect? Or do I just come out and say he’s your dad and totally ditched us when I was pregnant even though I never told him. Yeah that won’t work.

“I don’t want you talking to Liam Westbury anymore.”

“Why not?” Noah deadpans.

 “Because… because I said so that’s why.” I get up and move back into the kitchen and dump out my coffee. It no longer tastes very good and isn’t doing its job. I just want to crawl into bed and forget this conversation ever started.

Noah slams his magazine down on the table, spilling the rest of his cereal. He sits there, stewing, not moving an inch to clean up his mess.

“Are you going to clean that?” I ask before throwing him a dishtowel. Anger flashes in his eyes. I know I’ve upset him, but he’s just too young to understand the magnitude of this situation. Liam is going to hurt him.

“No,” he says without making eye contact.

“Excuse me?”

He pushes his chair out and picks up his magazine. He turns and looks at me, a look I’ve never seen from my precious boy. His face is red, his breathing is labored.

“I like Liam,” he yells.

I’m taken aback by his outburst. If this is how he’s going to be after two encounters there is no way I can let Liam into his life.

“Liam doesn’t live here, Noah, and once he’s gone you won’t see him again. Let it go.”

“Why do you hate him?”  

I don’t, that’s the problem and I wish I did, but he’s a disruption and he’s already ruining things in my house and I don’t want that. I can’t have that.

“I don’t hate him,” I mumble. I press my fingertips to my temple to hopefully ward off the impending headache.

“You used to kiss him, a lot. I’ve seen the DVD’s. How can you kiss someone so much and not like him?” Noah stands in front of me, his arms clutching his magazine. His eyes are trained on me and all I see is Liam.

“That was a long time ago, Noah. People change. I’ve changed and so has Liam. We aren’t friends anymore and I don’t want you talking to him. I’m the adult here and I make the rules. Liam Westbury is off limits.”

“You’re not being fair. I like him and he’s good at football just like me. He can help me get better and he said he would come to my game today!” My heart breaks at the sight of his tears, but I’d take this one day of tears over the months of tears he’ll cry when Liam leaves him. I reach out for Noah, but he moves away and runs off to his room. I’m going to have to find a way to get a hold of Liam and tell him he can’t come to the game. That he needs to just ignore Noah for all of our sakes. It will be easier that way.

At least that is what I tell myself.

When the doorbell rings I rush to let in Katelyn. She takes one look at me and shakes her head, pulling me into her arms.

“What am I going to do?” I ask Katelyn. I lead her into the kitchen, sitting down. She’s across from me, holding my hand when I should be holding hers. I should be her rock right now. She’s just lost her husband and here I am complaining to her.

“I’m not sure I can answer that for you,” she says, her eyes full of pity. I really need to stop thinking about myself and start thinking about her.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be dumping this on you. You have enough to deal with.” I remove my hand and start cleaning up our mess. I invited her over for breakfast, not problem solving.

“I’m your friend, Josie. You can dump anything on me.”

I shake my head and leave her sitting at the table. She comes and stands next to me while the sink fills with hot sudsy water.

“I remember everything so clearly. It’s like all my memories are this vivid coloring book turned into a nightmare. I dreamt about him last night and I haven’t done that since Noah was about two. I stopped reading the magazines and looking for the music videos because I needed a clean break and now he’s here for the next few days and there’s nothing I can do to keep him from coming to Noah’s game tonight.”

“Have you thought about sitting down with him and talking to him about Noah?” she asks as I start washing the dishes. I soak my hands in the water and relish the feel of the burn from the hot water.

“I don’t think I can.” I sigh and lean my head against hers. “Nick wants Liam to sign some adoption papers or something like that, but I don’t know. Nick and I haven’t discussed this and I fear it’s a knee-jerk reaction to Liam showing up in town.”

Katelyn takes my hands in hers and pulls them out of the water. We're dripping water and soap bubbles travel down the front of our clothes and onto the floor. She holds them tight, her eyes brimming with tears. 

“I lost my husband last week and wasn’t able to say good-bye. You are being given a second chance and whether you make that chance just about Noah or to find some closure for yourself you owe it to the three of you to find a happy medium. If Noah was to ever find out that Liam is his dad and you didn’t tell him while he has this one chance to know him, he’ll never forgive you, Josie, and you’ll never forgive yourself.”

“Liam is going to hurt him,” I say through tears.

“Liam might surprise you if you give him a chance.”

We end up spending the rest of the afternoon at her house avoiding the topic of Liam. Katelyn decided she wanted to tackle the man room in the basement and we’re marking things that she thinks Mason’s friends will like. When I come to Liam’s name on the list I have to fight the tears – it’s like she’s forgiven him for everything without a second thought – because Liam is getting Mason’s Most Valuable Player trophy th
at he earned in college.

CHAPTER 13

LIAM

He gave me the time and place and asked me to come watch him. Said I could give him some pointers on his five-step drop at halftime. I want to do this, I do, but I don’t know. Josie made it crystal clear she wants me to have nothing to do with him and I don’t see her knocking on my door asking me to claim him.

But I want to watch him play. I want to remember what it was like to love the game and maybe I'll learn to love it again now that I have a reason to watch – if I’m even allowed to have this reason. Josie holds all the cards where Noah is concerned.

The last time I sat down for a game was Mason’s last one as a senior. I never had a chance to tell him, but I never missed a game, watching him on television every Saturday. A few times I thought about showing up to one, but I wasn’t ready to face anyone. Apparently, I’m still not since I can’t have a decent conversation or be in the same room with Josie without pissing her off.

But she’s so feisty when she’s upset. I miss that. I miss seeing the fire in her eyes when she’s determined to prove me wrong. I miss the passion in her body when she’s trying to show me what it’s like to be loved by her. I’d give anything to feel that with her again, even if it’s just for one fleeting, solitary moment. Just one quick taste of my girl again and I’d be complete.

I’m a liar.

I’ve been lying to myself since the day I left Beaumont. I walked away from the one great thing in my life because I was selfish enough to think I didn’t need her and that she’d be better off without me.

And if I could, I’d go back and change it all.

“Hello?”

“Liam?” I look at my phone, confused by the number showing on the display.

“Yeah, who’s this?”

“This is Betty Addison, your grandmother.”

I pull the phone away again and look at the screen. Maybe I didn’t hear her properly, but I swear she said grandmother. I only know my father’s side of the family. My mother never talked about her parents.

“Um… okay,” I say not sure what else to add.

“I’m in town this week and I thought we could have lunch. There’s a nice little café by your campus.”

What do I have to lose and it’s free lunch. “Sure,” I say. We set the date and time to meet. We talk a bit more and she asked that I hear her out before making any judgment calls as to why she’s been absent for the last eighteen years of my life.

I agree.

I’m nervous as I wait for her, my leg bounces. The same annoying habit I’ve picked up from Josie. When the chair in front of me pulls out and she sits down I see an older version of my mother. Or what I envision my mom will look like.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you,” she says while studying my face.

Conversation is awkward at first as we get to know each other but half an hour in it's like I've known her my entire life. We sit and talk for hours. My grandma tells me she’s an actress, but hasn’t acted in years. When I ask about my mom and why they don’t talk, she shows me a picture of Bianca. She’s dressed as a starlet, holding a trophy. Betty says it’s her Rising Star Award, she won it at sixteen.

“She never told me.”

“When she met your father she gave up her dreams for his. I fought hard to make her see what she was doing, but your father was determined to have a trophy wife on his arm and your mother would do anything to please him.”

I sit and listen to my grandma tell me about a mom that I don’t even know. The last thing Betty says to me that day is something I will never forget. “Follow only your dreams, Liam.”

One phone call and a few hours changed my life and it’s questionable whether that change was for the best.

I could be living happily with Noah now, raising him and coaching his football team. Josie would be my wife. I was going to marry that girl and she knew it. Hell, our parents knew it and mine hated it. They didn’t like that Josie’s parents didn’t have the social status they did and didn’t belong to the stuffy country club, but I didn’t care. That girl rocked my world.

And I’m willing to bet she still does.

I decide to clean Katelyn’s truck. I don’t want her messing with the broken beer bottles and I certainly don’t want the twins climbing in the back and cutting themselves. This is the least I can do for her after she’s opened her heart and home to me.

Last night, holding her, for the first time I felt like I could belong somewhere. I could be me without having to put on a show. Like Liam Westbury could exist again, but maybe this time I could combine him with Liam Page.

Just as I finish sweeping up the glass and disposing of it, the alarm on my phone goes off. I know it’s telling me that Noah’s game is about to start and I need to make a decision. Do I go and risk Josie getting pissed? Or do I go and show my boy that while I may not be around, I do intend to keep my word?

I make the only decision possible.

My bike rumbles as I hit the starter wishing I had kept the rental or at least had my truck. I wonder if my parents kept my truck. I could go ask, but that means visiting and I’m not so sure I’m ready to face them yet. I wasn’t in Los Angeles three days before my dad had my truck taken away. I’m sure Sterling and Bianca Westbury won’t be so glad to see their straight-laced son show up on a motorcycle with his tattoos showing. But then again maybe a trip to the country club is in order.

The drive through town is becoming familiar. I used to dream of these streets at night until my dreams just became hazy and convoluted. After a while you just forget. You forget that old lady Williams never takes down her Christmas decorations even though the town begs her to do it. You forget that the whole town shuts down for Friday night football. People don’t forget you though and what you’ve done, both on the field and off.

When I pull up to the school, the bleachers are packed. The sound of my bike gets their attention, something I wanted to avoid. I take off my helmet and slide on my ball cap and fake eyeglasses. I’m sure the disguise isn’t needed, but if I don’t look like Liam Page maybe they’ll leave me alone.

Katelyn waves to me from the stands, her face looks sad. Josie is sitting next to her, but she doesn’t look and I’m okay with that. I haven’t earned a wave or a smile from her… yet.

I avoid the bleachers, opting to stand against the old oak tree that has been on this field long before I was old enough to play here. I hear Nick on the side, calling out plays and can see Noah when he takes center. I stand a bit taller when I see his number. He’s wearing the same number I wore: eight. I swallow hard and clear my throat. I don’t want to show any emotion and I’m sure it’s just coincidence. But what if it’s not?  

Peyton comes over halfway through the game and hangs with me. She holds a football under her arm and is wearing cleats. I remind myself to ask Katelyn if she plays football. I can totally see Mason allowing his daughter to play. I’d ask her, but I don’t want to give her any ideas. I laugh when she calls out plays or yells at the refs to 'flow a flag'. As I watch her, I see so much of Mason in her and wonder how Katelyn is going to manage. I start to wonder about their financial situation and if there is any way I can help. I know Katelyn won’t take a hand-out, but I’ll figure something out. I don’t want to see them struggle and I have the means to help them.

The final whistle blows and Noah is jumping up and down. I can’t help but smile and feel a little bit proud even though I didn’t do any of it. Watching him out there lead his team at this young age, he’s showing so much promise. I can only hope he’ll be better than I was and actually follow through with college and his promises.