Forevermore (24 page)

Hope shoved the just-folded pillowcase into the basket and jerked the clothespins off the next sun-bleached sheet. Though she didn’t spare him a glance, the set of her jaw made her feelings abundantly clear.

“I’m mad as a bold wet hen, but the Good Book says to be angry and sin not. Well, if ’n y’all don’t step away, I’m gonna have to, else I’ll have to spend hours on my knees beggin’ God for forgiveness.”

Jakob turned on his heel and strode away.

Stopping at the water pump, he unbuttoned his shirt. Particles of wheat filled the air about him as he shook it out. After hastily washing up, he yanked on the shirt and fastened up the buttons as he headed back toward the housekeeper.

With things as tense as they’d gotten, it didn’t seem right to address her by her given name. “Miss Ladley.”

Her arms froze in midair. She dipped her head for a moment, sucked in a deep breath, then resolutely went back to her task.

He reached up and pinched the top of a clothespin. Instead of being smooth, the wood was weathered and brittle.
I need to buy new ones. There are so many little things I haven’t noticed
. He copied how Hope folded the sheet over itself on the line.

She made it look easy; his came out lopsided. “About the work you’ve done—”

“You don’t gotta say nothin’ more. I ain’t never been pushed off a job afore, but you know what they say. There’s a worst time for everything.”

His hands stilled for a moment. She’d done it again. Distracted him with her zany sayings—but if ever one fit the situation, this was it. “Miss Ladley, you’re right. There’s a worst time for everything.

I can’t think of a worse time for you to leave than now.”

She shook her head. “Timin’ works out purdy good for you.

I ’magine you can get Katherine and Marcella Richardson over here to help now. With them both bespoken, they’d be the best choice.”

“I spoke in haste.”

“Yeah, you did.”

Any other woman would have demurred or cried. Not Hope. Her directness was refreshing. Even so, he didn’t try to make light about her recommending the Richardson girls.

Hope’s sense of humor was arguably one of her best traits, but this wasn’t a time to test that opinion. Jakob watched as she capably folded, flipped, and disciplined her sheet into a tidy block. He tried the same moves with his sheet and almost dropped it. Seconds later, it ended up a bundled mess against his chest.

Hope’s well-disciplined sheet went into the basket. She still didn’t look him in the eye but focused on the mess he held and gingerly took it away. Even though he’d shaken out his shirt, it was still dirty—and now the freshly washed sheet bore smudges.

He winced. “I’m making a mess of everything.”

“Then that’s two of us.” She flipped that sheet over the line to get it out of the way and went after the next one. “You and me don’t see eye to eye, but Emmy-Lou’s your daughter. You got the responsibility and right to decide what’s best for her.”

“I’m worried about her.”

“Yup.”

He reached for another clothespin. The housekeeper gave him a stern look, and he backed away. He’d already made more than enough mistakes.

“You’ve a right to know what happened. Emmy-Lou’s got herself a skinned-up knee. I reckon you’re right ’bout it bein’ my fault. Linette dragged me in the pantry. She and her mama cornered me there. Mr. Stauffer, I don’t wanna be a gossipmonster, but they was pestering me about Phineas.

Linette’s got it in her mind that he’s anglin’ for her, and she’s plannin’ to chase him ’til he catches her. Emmy-Lou—she fell and hurt herself whilst them Richardson women was plannin’ Phineas’s last supper as a bachelor.”

“You were in the pantry.”

Hope’s head dipped. “If ’n I was bein’ dead-level honest, I’d have to say the guilt’s ridin’ me hard. ’Tis likely why your words bother me so much. If ’n I’d gotten outta there, I woulda known what Emmy-Lou was up to.”

“You shouldn’t feel guilty; I should. Once they are set on something, the Richardsons are immovable. I gave you no chance to explain.”

“But I wasn’t doin’ my most importantest job.”

“Lionel Volkner—Leopold’s brother—wrote in his letter of recommendation that he’d never seen a woman work harder. I agree with him. The industry you’ve shown has been outstanding.” Apologizing didn’t come easy, but Jakob knew he had to. He owed her at least that much. “Anger made me say things I shouldn’t have.”

“You was angry. I probably deserve that anger, but ’twasn’t anger behind most of what happened. At least, to my mind, it wasn’t. You cherish your daughter and sis. From the time you heard Emmy-Lou got hurt ’til you got home, you must’ve been thinkin’ all sorts of dreadful bad things that could be a-wrong with her. Since I didn’t talk to you ’bout the problem whilst I was still over at the Smiths’, you couldn’t know ’twasn’t nothin’ more than a scrape. But even so, I ain’t proved up to be trustworthy.”

“That isn’t true.” Jakob shoved his hands in his pockets to keep from doing something stupid. Like putting a hand over her mouth so he could finish his apology instead of her yammering on. Or grabbing her and shaking some sense into her. Only he knew better. He’d never manhandle anyone. If he grabbed her, he’d— In that second, he stared at her in shock.
I was ready to take hold and kiss her.

The realization stunned him. His whole life, there’d only been Naomi. He’d never so much as asked another gal out for a Sunday stroll, but here he was, practically nose to nose with a woman whose spontaneity brought him to the brink of insanity.
What’s so insane about me having feelings for her? She’s all I could ever want for in a woman.
Mute with wonderment, Jakob drank in the golden fire in her beautiful hazel eyes and the smattering of freckles that he suddenly had the urge to trace, count, and even kiss.

Her gaze dropped as the corners of her mouth turned downward. “You don’t gotta search so hard to try to find somethin’ to say. More words won’t change what happened.” Leaden steps carried her away from him to one last sheet.

“Listen to me!” Once he bellowed the words, Jakob stomped toward her.

Hope spun around. Eyes alight with fire and body tensed like a lioness ready to pounce, she growled, “You hush your tone!

Annie’s already scared half silly.”

I was a fool to think for even an instant she wouldn’t protect Emmy-Lou and Annie. This woman has such fire and spirit! She’s been under my roof and by my side at the table for days, yet I never noticed
. . .

“Hold whatever opinion you want about me, but think about your sis.”

Hope, if you knew what I was thinking . . .

A slow, deep breath forced his housekeeper’s shoulders up, then they settled back into her usual take-on-the-world posture—not the round, stoop-shouldered stance of a weary woman.

Just as surely as she’s kept Annie from the burden of too much work, she’s shielded me from knowing how tired she’s become from doing it all
.

“Your sis—it’s bad for her to see folks that can’t get along. In the end, you was right.” Hope turned back toward the laundry.

“It’s all for the best, me goin’ my way.”

“What is it about you and me and this clothesline?” In utter frustration, he reached up and yanked on it. “The other time we were out here, you thought I was trying to send you off and I wanted to hire you. Now I want you to stay and you’re—”

She wheeled around. “Don’t. Don’t go decidin’ to keep me on ’til your sis is back on her feet after havin’ her baby unless you know I’m a-gonna mess up again, because sure as shootin’ I will.”

A slow smile tugged at his mouth, making his sunburned cheeks sting. “Don’t you agree to stay unless you realize I’m going to mess up again, too.”

Her eyes widened. The fiery glint in the hazel turned to a humorous sparkle as a smile very slowly bowed her lips and made all her freckles dance. “Oh, we are a pair, aren’t we?”

“Ja.”
In more ways than you know
.

Jakob strode across his bedroom, over to the oak dresser.

Just before Naomi and the children contracted the fever, he’d splurged on a dress length of fabric at the mercantile. All of Naomi’s gowns had been made of feed sacks, and he’d wanted her to have something extra-special—only he hadn’t had the opportunity to give her the material.

Jakob knelt, opened the bottom drawer, and reached for the fabric. He’d never seen a plaid like it—the stripes going both directions couldn’t be wider than Emmy-Lou’s smallest finger.

Women probably had fancy names for the colors—they always seemed to; but the two shades of blue, the green, and the gold crisscrossed together and created a wealth of tiny squares in countless rich shades.

Hope would look lovely in a dress made from it. The door slid shut, and Jakob rose. Instead of avoiding looking at the wedding-ring quilt on his bed, he laid the material on it and lifted the picture of Naomi he treasured so. “I’ll always love you,” he whispered gruffly. He studied her features and recalled how the serenity he saw etched there came from deep within her.

The turmoil he felt at having discovered his feelings for Hope ought to intensify now, but they didn’t. Instead, everything shifted into place. God’s Word said it wasn’t good for a man to be alone. Having once known the blessings of a happy marriage, Jakob realized that instead of the memories holding him back, they nudged him forward.

“You would like her, Naomi. I know you would.” As he lifted the fabric, he remembered the evening when Hope asked him questions about Naomi and listened as he shared about what a fine wife he’d had.

Hope won’t ever replace Naomi. No one could. But life has changed. So have I. There’s room in my heart for love again because there’s Hope
.

When he went back downstairs, Jakob found his sister in the parlor. Though she held a needle and a tiny white gown in her lap, she wasn’t sewing.
I was a fool. She was starting to feel safe, and I scared her
. Jakob knew just what to do. A simple gesture would reassure his sister. He laid the fabric in her lap. “This is for Hope. For a dress.”

Annie shoved it off her lap onto the floor. “No! I won’t do it. I won’t give it to her!” Then she burst into tears.

Perplexed, Jakob stared at his sister. “Annie!
Was ist los?”

“What’s the matter? You ask me what’s the matter?” She sucked in a choppy breath. “Do you think I don’t recognize what you’re doing? Konrad did the same thing. He got angry. He’d shout. Oh—I heard you shout at Hope. Only soon, it wasn’t just his voice that he’d raise at me—it was his fist.”

Her stark words horrified him. Until now, Annie hadn’t been forthcoming about anything other than that Konrad struck her on multiple occasions. Knowing it was too painful for her to talk about and wanting to let her put it all in her past, Jakob hadn’t prodded her to say anything more than she chose to volunteer. In those few sentences, she confirmed what he’d suspected. “Annie,” he groaned.

Cringing into the back of the settee, Annie stared at him with tear-drenched eyes. “Afterward, Konrad would be sorry. He’d give me a gift. The present was to prove he was sorry—only his sorrow never lasted. I won’t give Hope your present. I don’t want her to stay. I want her to go!”

Jakob groaned again, pushed aside the material, and took his sister’s hands in his. “I’m not like that. It’s not that way between Hope and me.”

When he finally managed to allay her fears, Jakob said, “You’re tired.”

Nodding heavily, Annie wiped her face with her soggy hanky.

“Go up and nap.” He thought for a moment. “Emmy-Lou is still sleeping. You can lie down on my bed.” He rose and helped her to her feet.

Then suddenly, he stiffened.

Hope carried the laundry into the house. Through the window, she could see Jakob streaking off on his horse like the devil was after him. Then she heard crying. Heart thundering and mouth dry, Hope dropped the laundry basket and raced up the stairs.

Annie lay curled on her side on Jakob’s bed. A whole stack of Jakob’s handkerchiefs lay on the pillow beside her.

Please, God, don’t let her be having the baby yet. Everything’s not ready. I’m not ready
. Hope dampened the towel on Jakob’s washstand and gingerly blotted Annie’s face. “Are you okay?”

Annie shook her head.

Desperate to know Annie wasn’t in labor, Hope grasped at the one other possible reason her friend would be crying. “Your brother and me—we ain’t mad at each other. We got everything worked out. You know that?”

Annie nodded; then a strangled sound vibrated in her chest as she curled up tighter.

Sweat broke out on Hope’s brow. Wiping Annie’s, she searched for something to say or do.
God, please help me here
.

“I want to be alone.”

“You shore?”

Annie nodded.

Uncertain as she felt, Hope reckoned she couldn’t do any good just standing there. “I’ll . . .” She looked around, but nothing triggered any helpful action or suggestion. Trying to instill more confidence than she felt, Hope started again. “I’ll leave the door open.”

Hope peeped in on Emmy-Lou. Blessedly ignorant of any of the goings-on, the little girl still napped. Assured of that, Hope dashed downstairs.

Boiling water. Folks always needed boiling water and towels for when a baby came. Everyone knew that. Hope hastily dumped more coal into the oven. Black dust covered the floor by the scuttle, but she didn’t worry over that. Other matters were more pressing. With the reservoir on the stove full, Hope pumped the largest kettles in the house full of water and set them on, too. That done, she set about gathering towels.

The stack of towels on the dining table looked meager. Hope added all the clean dishcloths. Annie would need fresh sheets on the bed after the birthing, and they were all sitting in the laundry basket—wrinkled as an old woman’s face. Hope weaseled the iron onto the stove, too.

Whenever she paused for a moment, she could hear Annie’s soft crying.

Lord, please get Jakob to Forsaken real fast and have Velma ready so she can hurry back. I don’t know what to do. I probably shoulda asked her before now. I’m so stupid. How can I help Annie when I don’t know what to do?