Authors: J.A. Pitts
“I should go teach some of this class, to be fair to the paying students,” she said.
“Of course. Thanks. I’ll be in touch.”
I sat and finished my drink, feeling like a teenager all over again. That woman scared the hell out of me with her intensity. I thought she could give Nidhogg a run for her money.
Forty-six
B
y the time
I
got home,
I
’d played the conversation over in my head a hundred times. My life was fairly chaotic. Sa Bum Nim Choi’s best advice had always been to quiet my mind. Work in the now. It reminded me of some of the things Skella’s grandmother, Unun, had said when I was in Vancouver.
I downloaded a podcast on meditation and sat listening to it while Katie graded papers. I needed to learn how to go walkabout without all the ceremony or the herbal enhancement.
I thought about how it felt when I was walkabout. Especially the way it felt when I moved in the astral state. If I could find that place, maybe I could use that as a guidepost. Unfortunately, all I had thirty minutes later was a throbbing headache. I’d just decided to bag it for the evening when I felt a stutter. The thread that was anchored deep inside me came into focus, catching me off guard. I reached for it, hoping to catch it while I could see it. It was like picking up a dropped stitch when knitting. I almost had it when Katie called to me from the living room.
I dropped the line with a resigned sigh and opened my eyes. Things were not exactly normal. The room around me glowed with a fuzzy tinge, and my eyes buzzed slightly. It was like when I was holding Gram—colors were brighter and the connection between things was more obvious.
Katie walked into the room, and it was like a unicorn exploded. Rainbow colors danced all around her. Much stronger than the night I’d seen her while on walkabout. I squinted, she was so bright.
“You okay?” she asked, kissing me on the nose.
“Yeah,” I said, squeezing my eyes shut. It was overwhelming. The kaleidoscope of colors made me nauseous. “Just a little queasy.”
“Keep up the good work,” she said, laughing. “I’m gonna take a shower.”
After she left I opened my eyes a crack. The world was just as vivid. Katie just wasn’t there blowing the bell curve. I wondered if she glowed so brightly because I loved her or if there was something special about her beyond the general awesomeness.
I got up and walked around. The apartment looked mostly the same as last time, only with an overlay of muted colors. I wasn’t sure if it was because it was daylight or if it was because I wasn’t using the tea. I’m not saying it looked like the inside of a cotton candy machine or anything, but the apartment was a lot more cheerful.
I ducked my head into the bedroom. I’d avoided going in there since the incident with Gletts and the eaters. I could see the doorway behind the bed frame, but I wasn’t willing to get too close. I was still in my body, but I was not risking getting sucked into the sideways.
After a couple minutes, though, the headache blossomed to the point I could barely stand. I made my way to the kitchen and downed a couple of aspirin and a tall glass of water. Then I stumbled to the living room, crawled into bed, and passed out.
Forty-seven
I
needed to get the gate installed at
N
idhogg’s place, but after the incident the day before, I was hesitant to go back out there. I’d walked out on her, and she was not someone to piss off. Screwing up my courage, I called Nidhogg’s place. Better to scout the territory ahead of time. Zi Xui answered and seemed reasonably happy to hear from me.
“It is good you called,” she told me. “The mistress gave orders that she is not to be disturbed, but that you are free to visit the house. She wishes you to finish installing the gate.” She paused. “She has also given you free use of the library.”
Wow. That was generous. “She’s not upset?”
“Oh, she was in a state all through the afternoon, but when she saw the children later in the day, they were happy and laughing for the first time since Qindra left. I believe that was what lightened her mood. She is an old woman, with tendencies to see the blackest parts of life. I think your presence is forcing her to see differently.”
I was shocked. If anything, I thought she’d have some form of punishment for me, even if it didn’t include being burned alive, or eaten, mangled, or generally mutilated. I felt suddenly lighthearted myself.
“I will need to arrange for a couple of folks to come with me to install the gate. It weighs more than I can handle by myself. Will that be a problem?”
“I will inform security. Please make sure they understand to be polite and try to keep the noise to a minimum? Loud noises upset the mistress.”
We wrapped up, and I called Black Briar. I’d need a couple strong backs and a rolling hoist to get the gate from the smithy to the house in Seattle.
I called a construction rental place, arranged to pick up the hoist in a few hours, and got dressed.
Three hours later, Robbie, Dave, and I had wrestled the gate through the huge front door of Nidhogg’s estate. The children of the house kept mostly out of sight, but I could feel them watching. Even the adults managed to breeze by a few times as we maneuvered the huge load into the house. Luckily, the hoist was powered, so we drove it, very slowly, into the house.
It took us another two hours to get it into position and aligned with the frame. Anezka was a genius, though. She’d badgered me about accurate measurements and wouldn’t let me be satisfied with less than impeccable precision. I knew I would’ve totally botched it on my own. Too impatient. Every moment of grief and frustration I’d had working with her—measuring again and again, tamping, heating, and in some cases grinding—had paid off.
When the gate slid home for that first time I did a little dance. Rob and Dave joined me, grinning like fools. I held a finger to my lips and they nodded. Dave gave me a thumbs-up and Robbie hugged me.
I escorted them out of the house. “Steaks on me,” I told them as they loaded up.
“You’re on,” Rob said.
I watched them drive off before going back inside to clean up. I got the hoist back into my truck by myself. It was like a really big remote control toy.
When I had everything put away and the entry way cleaned up, I stood in front of the gate—the two keys clenched in my fist—and let the satisfaction of a job well done swim over me.
I slipped the keys in my pocket and turned to find Jai Li standing there holding two braided leather cords. She handed them to me, and I threaded the twisted leather through the keys. I took the first and put it over my neck, slipping the key into my bra. I didn’t want it to knock against the amulet. That trinket had come at too high a cost, transferring its allegiance from Anezka to me before her house fell into ruin. I held the bauble a moment, thinking of Bub and how he’d come to my service at the same time.
I wound the second cord around my hand, holding the key in my fist. This was for Nidhogg, and she didn’t want to be disturbed. Maybe I’d give it to Zi Xiu instead. That wasn’t the bargain, but we’d see. Jai Li stood there watching me. On a whim I sat down in front of the gate and held my arms open to her.
She looked behind her, as if to see who may be watching, then crawled into my lap. I held her against me, feeling her warmth against my chest—felt the fineness of her hair brush against my chin.
For the next thirty minutes we sat there while I pointed out the different aspects of the gate, from the worked leaves and flowers to the runes for protection and the twin dragons along the top of the gate.
I didn’t mention how badly Stuart wanted me to make one of those drakes on its back, with a young woman over it, stabbing it in the chest. It had an appeal, granted, but I didn’t think Nidhogg would appreciate the sentiment.
The feel of that child in my lap triggered something in me. Whether biological or just social, I had no idea, but I wanted to protect her from the life she led. There was no justice if a child this sweet had to live in a place with such psychosis and fear.
After my butt had long gone to sleep, I shooed her back to her duties. I needed to get into the library and do some research while the offer was open. Who knew when the next breeze would blow the fickle Nidhogg into indignation?
I hobbled into the library, my ass spiked with the pins and needles of returning circulation. Just like the last time I’d been in the great room, I was overwhelmed with the beauty of it all.
I spent an hour walking up and down the library, trailing my fingers along the leather spines. Many of the books were classics I recognized. There were whole sections in languages I couldn’t begin to read. Twice I found a book that contained real power. The touch of them was a gentle tingle, like touching your tongue to a nine-volt battery.
One was in Arabic, so I let it alone after flipping a couple of pages. The other was in English. Well, mostly English, but there was French; German, I think; and runes in several different dialects. I set it aside to be looked at in more detail later. First, I wanted to explore some more.
I spent a good hour researching symbols related to the tattoo I’d seen on Charlie Hague. The individual parts could be interpreted in various ways, but together they seemed to represent an order. Similar patterns were represented in several books on covert religions and ancient orders. I didn’t understand why Charlie Hague would have the symbol of a secret society tattooed to the inside of his wrist where anyone could see it. It just seemed reckless.
Before long my bladder decided I needed a chance to stretch. I got up and walked back to the hall. As I reached for the door I saw that Jai Li had fallen asleep curled on a chair to the right of the door. She’d snuck in and watched me while I studied.
I left her and stepped into the hall. One of the scullery maids was just coming down from the laundry with a stack of crisply folded sheets. I called to her. She was startled but didn’t drop the sheets. I can’t imagine how much time she spent ironing them.
After a brief conversation in broken English I convinced her to follow me to the library. Upon seeing Jai Li, she nodded and mimed me picking up the girl.
When I lifted her she snuggled close, burying her face into my shoulder. I followed the maid to a part of the mansion I’d not visited before and found one of the servant’s quarters. It was nearly a barracks. By the size of things, it housed mostly children. The maid directed me to where the girl slept, and I gently settled the child into her bed.
Jai Li looked up at me as I straightened, blinking rapidly. I bent over and kissed her on the forehead. She smiled, pulled the blankets up to her chin, and rolled over. The maid watched the entire scene with shock and amazement. I smiled at her, and she returned it shyly before trundling off.
I lagged behind, staring around at the small personal space Jai Li commanded. She had a small bed, a locker of sorts that was made of carved wood, and a chest at the foot of the bed. Each of the children had a similar setup. Not much space for personal effects, but Jai Li had the wall behind her bed covered in pictures. Many of them were done in watercolors, but there were pencil sketches and two different needlepoints that had been framed.
Most were of people. One was a sad picture of two girls, hand in hand, flying over a field of red flowers. The girls were obviously Jai Li and her twin, Mei Hau. They were so alike, yet I could tell a difference in the two girls by the subtle differences in the colors.
Next to Jai Li was an empty bed with two pictures on the wall, both of flowers—hyacinths and tulips. The bed was made and the locker stood open, empty. This was Mei Hau’s place, and the emptiness of it was like a spike in my chest.
I left the quarters, my heart heavy. Several other children were at their places, quietly reading or playing with simple toys. Most were empty as the children were off performing some duty. Mei Hau’s was not the only abandoned place. I counted five others that were vacated, forlorn.
I couldn’t leave there fast enough. The maid stood outside the door waiting for me. When I emerged she bade me follow her. She paused at a large walk-in closet and deposited the sheets she’d been carrying and then led me back to the kitchen.
Once I was ensconced with a cup of strong, black tea, the maid hurried out, motioning for me to stay. In a couple of minutes she returned with Zi Xiu in tow. The two women sat with me, sharing a plate of sliced apples and more of the dark tea.
Through Zi Xiu’s interpretation we discussed Jai Li: how she has grown melancholy since the death of her twin and how she’d been more and more rebellious, even openly defying Nidhogg. Not once, but twice.
They feared for her, feared the retribution Nidhogg would impose on the girl when she finally crossed the line. None of the other children had ever transgressed—not in the lifetimes of these two women. It was not Nidhogg’s way to be indulgent, but since the black day when mistress had taken her true form and killed so many, things had shifted in the house.
Qindra had held the house together, kept a balance between the kind Nidhogg, the gentle grandmother of them all, and the angry, spiteful monster she became, sometimes quite literally.
I was amazed to hear them speak so bluntly about the situation in the house. When I inquired, they both spoke at once. It was the girl and the kindness I’d shown her. If not for that they would have remained silent.