Authors: Sara King
“Uh, okay.”
“Sam, give me your hands, palms
facing up. There. Now hold still while I peer into my crystal ball to— I
will not say it again, Joe. Be silent or leave.”
“I was only coughing.”
“Shut
up,
Joe. Let her concentrate!”
“Yeah, whatever.”
“The crystal shows me you enjoy
music.”
“I play the violin!”
“Hmm, yes. Practice. You will
make a lot of people happy with that someday.”
“Really? That’s great! Dad
says I have to be an accountant because I’m good with numbers.”
“You will not be an
accountant. You will be a thief and a gang leader. Now about this girl…”
“Wow, lady, isn’t that, like,
illegal to tell a little kid?”
“Ignore Joe. Focus on the
girl.”
“Rosie?”
“That’s the one. You have to
stop letting her bully you. She’s not your friend, Sam. She is only a selfish
little girl who is growing up in her mother’s footsteps. Your lunch is for
you, not her. Stand up for yourself at recess. Don’t follow her around. Play
with Wally, instead.”
“Okay.”
“Hmm. What would you like to
know?”
“Is Wally my soul mate? Mom
says everybody’s got a soul mate and it doesn’t have to be a girl. I don’t
want a girl for a soul mate. They’re all stupid and play with dolls.”
“Your soul mate’s name is Leila.
You will ensnare her with a pack of gum, then drag her home by her hair, much
to your chagrin.”
“Um…okay, but when? Like,
sixth grade?”
“You will meet her in your
attempt to take over the world, and once you find her, you will stop at nothing
to obtain her.”
“I don’t want to take over the
world.”
“Yes you do. Deep down, you
do.”
“Hey, lady, that’s really
creepy, okay?”
“Shut up, Joe. So how do I
take over the world? Wally says we need to make mind-control candy.”
“Best-case scenario? You’ll
steal money from banks and large corporations, then dose yourself with
experimental drugs that render you impotent because you’re bored.”
“Oh. Then will I at least get
Starflight Jupiter for Christmas?”
“Your mother doesn’t like video
games.”
“I know, but Wally’s parents
let him play.”
“Don’t worry about that.
You’ll get something nice for Christmas.”
“You’re not gonna tell me
what?”
“And ruin the surprise? No,
child. Ask me something else.”
“This isn’t very much fun.
Kyle said it would be fun.”
“The future’s not always fun.”
“Well, what about my dog? He’s
been sick. He ate some turkey bones at Thanksgiving.”
“The bones punctured his
intestines. Your dog is going to die in a week.”
“…die? But we took him to the
doctor!
”
“The doctor didn’t catch it in
time. I’m sorry, Sam.”
“You’re a
liar!
Come on, Joe. I don’t want to be here anymore. Let’s
go.”
“Sure thing. Seeya, lady.”
“Goodbye, Joe.”
“Come
on,
Joe. I want to go home and see Max. That stupid psychic
was wrong. He’s not gonna die. Why did you stop? I want to go home.”
“You go ahead. I’m gonna see
if I can get your money back.”
“I don’t care about the money.
I just want to go home.”
“Just stay here. I’ll be right
back.”
“Joe…”
“Stop whining. We did
something you wanted to do, now just hold onto your horses for one damn minute
and let me see if I can go get you a refund for that bullshit, okay?”
“All right.”
“Good. Stay here.”
“Welcome back, Joe.”
“Hey, I want a refund. You
really upset my brother. That’s really crappy, scaring a little kid.”
“What does the sign read above
the door?”
“Don’t Ask Unless You Seek The
Answer? That Buddhist or something?”
“It’s a warning.”
“Huh. Uh. Yeah, well. I
guess I can’t get a refund?”
“No.”
“Okay. I’ll be seeing you. I
just wanna know one thing before I go. How’d you know my name? You hear Sam
say it outside the tent or something?”
“I knew it the same way I know
your mother’s name is Alice and your father’s name is Harold.”
“Huh. Uh. You think I could
get the rest of the thirty minutes’ worth? I mean, Sam isn’t gonna use it.”
“If you wish.”
“Cool.”
“Sit across from me and put
your hands on either side of the crystal ball, palms up.”
“You really need to do that? I
mean, it looks really stupid.”
“I certainly don’t want to make
you feel uncomfortable. Just get comfortable a moment. Ah. My. You’re a
difficult one to read. Most couldn’t even do it.”
“Let me guess. The image isn’t
quite clear and you need another five bucks to solidify the picture.”
“Oh
no, it’s clear…for now. I said
most
couldn’t
do it. Let’s see here. I’m going to go into a slight trance, and I want you
to remain still, all right?”
“Yeah,
okay.”
“While
on Ko-fat, you will enter Congress into a new Age.”
“Wait,
what
?”
“Shh.
Be silent and listen. You will make friends with a White assassin, and at his
command, a Jreet heir shall remove your still-beating heart from your chest and
deliver it to strangers.”
“Lady, you’re
really creeping me out.”
“This
is important. Shh. It has four parts, and you’ll only ever hear this once,
for no one else will be able to see through your vortex once it starts. Now,
where was I? Ah, yes. After a battle the likes of which the universe has
never seen, you shall have the cosmos’ greatest mind helpless under your boot,
and your mercy shall unmake him.”
“Okay,
how about we go back to talking about turkey bones. Seriously, are you on
crack?”
“And
while you shall die in a cave, shamed and surrounded by dragon-slaying innocents,
your deeds will crush the unbreakable, and your name will never be Forgotten.”
“That’s…nice. You said Sam had
a soul mate. What about me? I’m having a real hard time finding a girlfriend.
Dude, why are you sighing? That’s a legitimate question, okay? That crap
about Sam being a gang leader and me being in Congress is stupid. I hate
politics. And Sam’s too smart to be in a gang.”
“You will have a soul mate.”
“Really? What’s her name?”
“She doesn’t have a name.”
“O-kaaay. Uh. Where’s she
live?”
“She hasn’t been born yet.”
“Look, if you’re just fooling
around, I’m gonna leave.”
“Go ahead. You already paid.”
“Yeah. Well, shit. Okay. (cough)
So I’ve got this…thing…”
“It’s called claustrophobia.”
“Uh. Yeah. That. It makes it
a little hard to get in a car, you know? Dad says I’ll get over it, but I
don’t really see how. Like, it’s still just as bad as it was when I was
little. I see
blood
. You know? Covering
everything. I get in a tight space and I see blood everywhere. You think I’ll
get over it?”
“Of course. After you spend a
few hundred hours screaming.”
“…”
“I take your silence to mean
you have no other questions?”
“That’s really not cool.”
“You asked.”
“I’m
really
afraid of tunnels, lady.”
“Of course you are. You’re
going to die in one.”
“…”
“Out of questions, then?”
“What am I gonna do for a
living?”
“You’re going to invade enemy
planets.”
“
Dude.
I’m not
five,
okay? What the hell kind of reading
is
this,
anyway? We haven’t even been out of our solar system. How the hell are we
going to invade other planets?”
“You’ll find out soon enough.”
“You’re one hell of a psychic,
lady. You take classes on being a pain in the ass?”
“I went to Harvard, if you must
know.”
“What’d you do, cheat on the
tests?”
“I advise you to use the
remaining time to focus on your own future.”
“All right. After I’m done
invading enemy planets, what’s gonna happen to me?”
“I told you. You’re gonna end
up disgraced and impoverished, living in a cave with a group of naked innocents
who can slay dragons, telling bedtime stories to little girls who make delicious
cookies out of dirt.”
“Okay, that’s it. I’ve had
enough. I think your drugs wore off, lady. Keep the money. You’ll need it in
the nuthouse. I hear if you’re really good, you can bribe the guards to let
you play with crayons.”
“Enjoying your monthly visits
to your Aunt Caroline, Joe?”
“Shut up. How’d you know
that? Did Sam’s stupid friend set us up? You know what, how about I go tell
the fair manager that you’re all drugged up? Won’t that be funny?”
“Tell Max he’s a good dog for
me.”
“Screw you, lady.”
“Joe.”
“I said
screw you,
lady!”
“Joe!”
“Bugger off!”
“Stop swearing! You want Maggie
to learn to cuss? You stupidhead.”
Joe sat up. The entire room was
lit in shades of scarlet. He stared at Libby, wide eyed. “The dog died.”
“What?”
“The dog died. A week later, just
like she said.”
“You’re really creeping us out. What dog? There aren’t any
dogs here.”
And she was right. There was nothing but a domed black room
with a hazy red light and a few scared little kids wrapped in metallic
blankets. Scott was holding Maggie, who was watching him with wide, teary
eyes.
“Sorry,” Joe muttered.
“What was that all about, Joe?”
“Nothing,” Joe said. “Bad dream.”
#
The
next morning, Battlemaster Nebil woke them early. As soon as Joe opened his
eyes, he realized that the silence of the ship had been replaced by a deep
humming that seemed to reverberate through everything around him.
“Get
up!”
Battlemaster Nebil shouted.
“Collect your
things and line up in the gymnasium. We’re docking at Kophat.”
Then he
was gone, opening a door further down the hall to wake its occupants.
“I
can’t carry all this,” Elf whined, tugging on his sixty pounds of gear.
“I
can,” Monk said, sticking out her tongue. With Scott’s help, she shrugged
herself into the shoulder straps of the pack, but within moments she had
succumbed to the gear and was squatting on the floor, panting.
Joe
watched her, worried. “Scott, can you carry yours?”
“Yep.”
Scott threw his rifle over his shoulder, only staggering a little as it settled
atop the back of his pack.
“What
about you, Libby?”
Libby,
who was bigger than Elf, managed to get the pack over her shoulders by herself,
but despite the determined look on her face, couldn’t lift her gun along with
it. She refused to let Joe have it, though, and held it by the shoulder-strap
to drag it.
“All
right,” Joe said, glancing at Maggie. She was four or five inches taller than
she had been when she left Earth, but she was still tiny. “I’ll carry Mag’s
stuff. Scott, Libby, you think you can help Elf and Monk? We only have to get
to the gymnasium.”
Libby
gave Elf’s pack a doubtful look, but shrugged. She and Scott began unloading
pieces from the younger two’s gear and stuffing it into their own packs while
Monk and Elf watched.
That
left Joe a hundred and fifty pounds, between his gun, Maggie’s gun, Elf’s gun,
and two packs. He pulled a large piece of equipment—some kind of a camp stove,
he was told,
sans
fuel—from his pack and gave it to Maggie to carry,
lightening his load by six or seven pounds. Still, he staggered when he got to
his feet.