Forsaken (32 page)

“
Jessica,” I said. My body
felt relief just at saying her name. At the same time my hands
shook.

“
Is she good for you?” she
asked as her eyes probed my face through the dimming
light.

“
She’s my whole…” I
paused, about to say life but I didn’t have even that anymore.
“Everything.”

“
How long have you been
together?”

“
Seven months.”

“
I was four months
pregnant with you when I had known your father for that long,” she
said with a crooked and gross looking smile. I only looked away and
gave a nod of acknowledgment.

“
She’s the one, isn’t
she?” Caroline asked, her voice suddenly serious. It shook from the
effort it took to keep it even.

My emotions swirled as I
gave a nod. If I’d been capable, I would have had tears springing
to my eyes.
Was she okay?

“
You pop the question
yet?”

I pursed my lips together and shook my
head, my eyes glued on the floor.

“
Why not?”

I didn’t answer right away, going over
all the reasons why in my head. “Because some things have happened
to me in the last few months. I might not be here tomorrow, or the
next day.”

“
You get in with a bad
crowd?” she asked as she narrowed her eyes at me. She scratched at
the crease in her arm furiously.

“
In a way, I guess,” I
said with a lifeless half smile. “But that’s not what I
meant.”

Caroline was contemplative for a
minute as she stared at me. “The lifestyle I live is not good in
any way, shape, or form. But I have learned one thing from it. Live
in the moment, in the here and now. Enjoy the high while you’re on
it. Sometimes the high is better than the reality.

“
You love this girl, I can
tell. She’s your drug. Damn what might happen tomorrow. If she
loves you as much as you love her it won’t matter if you’ve only
got a year or twelve hours.”

Despite the drug analogy, what
Caroline had said struck me hard. My reasoning that I wouldn’t
leave Jessica just after we were married seemed to
crumble.

But could I do that to her? Could I
risk that I might not be able to fight it any longer and be pulled
away from her to leave her alone forever?

“
What little you might
have may not be enough but make it enough to last forever,
kid.”

CHAPTER
TWENTY-THREE

JESSICA

The sun reached the highest point in
the sky and started drifting westward, though I didn’t notice. I
sat in a numb, shocked state, not thinking, not feeling anything.
My life had already been too filled with the impossible; I couldn’t
handle one more thing. One more huge, massive,
way-beyond-life-altering thing.

Darkness had started to set again
before I started to come to my senses enough to realize Cole had
come back and was sitting on the floor in front of me. His
expression was perplexed as he looked at me, his eyes unwavering.
It looked as if he had decayed further. His skin looked all the
tighter, the black spider-webs around his eyes becoming more
pronounced. There were even fewer feathers left to his wings
now.

“
You’ve got to be wrong,”
I said quietly. “I can’t…” I trailed off, my voice quivering. And
yet I recalled all the impossible things that had happened to me
recently and knew he was right.

Cole’s expression hardened slightly,
though his eyes remained concerned looking. “Suck it up,” he said
quietly, his voice firm. “Quit feeling sorry for
yourself.”

I felt like Cole had just slapped me
across the face. His words jarred my brain back into thinking and
feeling again. “Excuse me?!” I said harshly, my eyes narrowing at
him.

Most eyes wouldn’t have caught the way
Cole’s tense form seemed to relax a bit but my apparently
more-angel-than-human eyes did.

“
There are worse things
that could happen to you,” Cole said as he sat forward, resting his
forearms on his knees. “I don’t recommend dying. Being hung from a
tree by your father isn’t the best experience. I should think you
don’t recall your own slide towards death too fondly
either.”

“
I don’t want this,” I
said quietly as I shook my head. “I just want to be a normal
person.”

“
Don’t you realize what
most people would do to have what you’ve been unwittingly given?
What I would do to have it? You’ve got something that mankind has
been searching for, for thousands of years!”

“
I still don’t want it,” I
whispered.

“
Quit feeling sorry for
yourself!” Cole roared as he stood up. “Do something about it!
Don’t just mope around! Use their mistake against them! They’ve got
claim on something that you want right now. Take it back.
Fight!”

I felt my heart start to pound as I
understood Cole’s words. He was right. I had an advantageous
position. They screwed up and I knew they weren’t going to be happy
about the outcome.

I wasn’t happy with what they were
trying to do to Alex.

“
You don’t love him near
as much as you claim to if you aren’t willing to use this against
them,” Cole said in a low tone as he looked down at me. “They can’t
claim you. If you can’t be judged,
what
are you willing to do to save him
?”

Adrenaline surged in my system and my
pulse raced as Cole’s words sank in. What did I have to be afraid
of? What did I have to lose?

Death and judgment were no longer a
factor in my life.

I climbed to my feet, standing face to
face with Cole. He towered above me but for the first time, I
didn’t feel inferior to him.

“
You know,” I said. “You
could have been a great man. I wonder what you could have become if
you hadn’t made the mistakes you did.

“
Thank you,
Cole.”

He didn’t say anything for a while as
his black eyes searched mine. He just stared at me, his mouth a
straight line. “How can you still see any good in me?” he asked.
“After everything I’ve done to you?”

“
Sometimes you just have
to try and see things in a positive light. I know there is a good
man buried inside there somewhere.”

“
He’s in there pretty deep
if there is one,” Cole said quietly.

“
You’d better start
digging,” I whispered.

As we spoke Cole had slowly leaned in
closer. His eyes seemed excited, his demeanor was lighter. He
seemed, almost, happy. Or even relieved.

“
You don’t have to hold
onto her forever,” I said quietly, his face now only a foot away
from mine. “You don’t have to stay angry. They say forgiveness is
divine.”

As I stared back into Cole’s black
eyes I could tell that this was over. I had won. At least in this
battle.

Cole reached a hand up and
tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. I heard his flesh sizzle and
saw it change into the ugly gray hue as he did so. He didn’t flinch
though, just continued to look into my eyes. “Thank you, Jessica. I
truly am sorry for all the pain I have caused you. It may not seem
like it but I really do have real feelings for you.” I felt the
shock as Cole leaned his forehead against mine and he placed his
hands on the sides of my arms. “
If
you ever do find a way to make it back into my
world, my offer will always be on the table.”

Maybe it was just relief that I knew
what was coming, maybe it was just the shock of seeing such a
sincere side to Cole, but I didn’t pull away as he tipped his lips
forward and pressed them to mine. The shock that came with touching
Cole now coursed through my system, sped along by adrenaline. It
was tender and sincere, brief. Yet incredibly intense.

When Cole pulled away and I opened my
eyes, a single tear escaped. All the veins in Cole’s body bulged,
his skin turning frighteningly black. His image seemed to fade and
re-solidify. I wasn’t sure if it was just that he couldn’t fight
the pull anymore but I suspected it was just because Cole had
finally stopped fighting. He was ready to go back where he
belonged.

Cole took two steps back from me. One
side of his mouth curled up into a little smile. “Don’t give up
Jessica,” he said. “You’ve got to fight for what you want. I’ve
finally faced my demons. I’ll continue to try and help you face
yours.”

“
Thank you, Cole,” I said
quietly as a few more tears rolled down my face.

“
Good-bye,
Jessica.”

Cole’s form started to decay away, the
same way it had when he touched me. The air around us seemed to
quiver and swell. Within a few moments he had grown transparent and
was gone. The air fell still.

My knees nearly gave out as relief
washed over me. It was finally over now. Cole had gone back to
where he belonged. I didn’t have to worry about him any longer,
didn’t have to feel like I had to be on my guard. Cole would never
watch me from the shadows again, a constant fear in the back of my
mind. My emotions surged in waves as I stumbled to and out the
front door.

Running wasn’t something I enjoyed
doing but I ran faster than I could ever recall doing as I got out
of Cole’s home. My feet pounded the gravel and grass as I ran back
to the main road. They couldn’t carry me fast enough as I sprinted
through the fading light.

The closest house I found was just
short of two miles away. I rapped on the door as I tried to catch
my breath. An old woman with nearly purple hair answered the
door.

“
May I please use your
phone?” I gasped before she could even say anything.

“
Are you alright, my
dear?” she asked with a concerned expression letting me
inside.

“
Yes, thank you,” I said
as I stepped through the door and she closed it. “I just need to
call for a ride.”

“
Phone is back through
this way,” she said as she walked back toward a tiny
kitchen.

I had to try three times before I
dialed the number right. My fingers didn’t seem to want to function
correctly.

“
Hello?”

“
Alex!” I nearly cried
out. Tears sprang to my eyes again at just the sound of his
voice.

“
Jessica?!” He sounded
panicked on the other end. “Where are you? I’m headed out to the
car right now!”

I asked the woman for her address then
relayed it back to him.

“
I’ll be right there!” he
said, his voice pitched. “And Jessica, I love you.”

“
I love you too,” my voice
cracked.

I hung up the phone. I thanked the
woman and went outside to wait on the edge of the road.

My emotions raged the entire time I
waited. I wanted to break down and cry. I wanted to crawl up in my
bed and just disappear for a month. And yet Cole’s words rang in my
head. I needed to suck it up and fight back.

There had never been a longer twenty
minutes then those I had to wait for Alex to come get me. It was
totally dark by the time I saw headlights turn down the quiet
street and screech to a stop in front of me. Before I even stood up
from my spot on the grass Alex was already out of the car and had
scooped me into his arms.

“
Jessica,” Alex whispered
and his voice cracked.

My lips found his and they trembled.
My entire body shook and I would have collapsed to the ground had
Alex not been holding me so tightly.

“
I’m so sorry, Jessica,”
he said as he buried his face in my neck. “I didn’t know what was
happening, I thought you might be…”

“
Shh,” I said as I ran a
hand over his back. “I’m alright. It’s over now.”

Alex pulled back to look me in the
face. “He’s really gone?”

I nodded. “It’s over.”

He kept looking at me for a long
moment before he released me and led me back to the rental car. He
opened my door then got in himself. Putting the car into drive, he
peeled away from the curb and hurtled down the road. I couldn’t
blame him. I wanted to get as far away from this place as
possible.

Alex took my hand and kept glancing at
me. I could see the questions tumbling through his head, unable to
find one to start off with.

“
I’m fine, Alex,” I
finally said for him. I had no intention of telling him that not
long before I had had a six inch long blade sticking out of my
chest. “Cole and I just talked for a while. We both had some things
to say that each other needed to hear.”

“
You just talked?” Alex
said doubtfully. “For a week?”

“
A week?” I said, shocked.
“What are you talking about? I was only there for two
days.”

Alex’s brow furrowed.
“You’ve been gone a week. Trust me I didn’t lose track. I can tell
you how many
seconds
you’ve been gone.”

I shook my head. It didn’t make sense.
How could I not notice an entire week go by? How could I mistake a
week for two days?

I could if someone had never gotten
out of my head completely.